Praise Him Anyhow - Volume 1

by Vanessa Miller

  Joy was waving her hands in Carmella’s face. “I’m still with you, Joy. I was just wondering if we should find a priest to perform an exorcism on your father or something.” She then lowered her head and laughed hysterically.

  “Mom, this isn’t funny. Stop laughing.”

  But Carmella couldn’t stop. Her husband had left her for a twenty-three-year-old recent college graduate, whom she’d fed numerous times in her own kitchen. If she didn’t laugh, she’d cry until she drowned in her tears.

  “I’m going to call Aunt Rose,” Joy said as she jumped up and ran for the phone.

  Rose had been Carmella’s best friend since they roomed together in college. The two women had both married the year after graduating college. Their kids were born around the same time. They celebrated holidays and vacationed together. But even with all that, Carmella still hadn’t called Rose to tell her that Nelson just up and walked out the door.

  Rose made it to the house within fifteen minutes. The three women went into the kitchen. Carmella turned off the praise music and Joy and Rose helped her put icing on the cakes. “I need to get these to my neighbors. They have been so wonderful this past month and I want to show my appreciation.”

  “Hon, why didn’t you call me? Why are you going through this alone?” Rose asked as she put the cream cheese frosting on one of the cakes. “And when did you have time to bake all of these cakes? There has to be at least twenty on the table.”

  “I have nothing but time,” Carmella told her friend. “My husband no longer comes home and Dontae is still away at camp.” She pointed towards Joy with a butter cream filled knife. “Joy has been staying in an apartment with Nelson’s girlfriend down by the college.”

  After saying that, Carmella put her knife down and then punched a hole in the cake she just frosted. “Can you believe such a thing? My husband has a girlfriend.”

  Rose came around the table and pulled Carmella into a hug. As they pulled apart, Rose said, “Why don’t we just go kill him?”

  “Hey, I may not like him very much, but he is still my father,” Joy said as she objected to where the conversation was going.

  “You just put frosting on that cake and let me talk to Rose.” Carmella threw a warning look in her oldest child’s direction and then turned back to Rose. “Since Nelson is the father of my children, do you think we could just put him in the hospital?”

  “Mom!”

  “Hey, she wanted to kill him.” Carmella pointed at Rose.

  Rose pointed towards the cakes, giggling so hard, she could barely get a word out. When she finally collected herself she said, “Remember that movie, The Help?” she asked and then doubled over with laughter.

  “Yeah, I remember The Help. You and I went to see it together. I’m still mad about that outhouse mess.”

  “Speaking of mess…” Rose said as she came up for air.

  “Aunt Rose, I know you aren’t suggesting that my saint of a mother bake a cake full of poo for my dad?”

  Carmella put her hand over her mouth and her eyes widened as she began to understand what her friend was trying to tell her. “Rose, you are crazy, girl.”

  “What? You said you wanted to put him in the hospital. Don’t you think eating a dung filled cake would do it?”

  “Girl, I have too much respect for cakes to treat one so harshly.”

  “Well you’re the one who wanted to put him in the hospital,” Rose reminded her.

  “By running him over or something like that, not by ruining one of my beautiful cakes.”

  Joy stepped away from the prep table. “I’m going to my room.” As she walked out of the kitchen, she threw back, “And I hope I won’t be testifying against my mother any time soon.”

  Carmella and Rose laughed, then Carmella got serious and said, “She’s right. The man is my husband. I’ve been married to him for twenty-five years. I shouldn’t be talking like this.”

  “He asked you for a divorce, Carmella. It’s time to fight, girl. Do something,” Rose told her as she bounced around the kitchen as if she were getting ready for a boxing match.

  “I don’t know how to fight,” Carmella confessed. “All I’ve ever done is be Nelson’s obedient pup, run his errands and take care of his house. I haven’t even put the degree I worked so hard to get to use in over twenty years.”

  Carmella sat down on one of the stools in the kitchen, laid her head on the counter and cried like tears were rain and she was doing her part to end an all consuming drought.

  ***

  Another day, another problem. Two days ago she’d cried on Rose’s shoulder and then went door to door passing out pound cakes to her neighbors. This morning she was awakened out of her fitful sleep by the ringing of the phone. Carmella had tried to ignore it and sleep on, but it seemed as if it would stop ringing for a moment and then start back up again. Somebody wanted to speak with her, and they weren’t going to give up until she answered the phone.

  With her head still on the pillow, Carmella reached over to her night stand and took the phone off the hook. She put the receiver against her ear and mumbled, “Hello.”

  “Hi, may I speak with Mr. or Mrs. Marshall.”

  Her voice was groggy as she responded, “This is Mrs. Marshall. Who’s calling?”

  “This is Rita from Wells Fargo. We’re just giving you a friendly reminder call concerning your mortgage.”

  That woke Carmella. She popped up in bed and asked, “What about my mortgage? What’s wrong?” She’d never received a call from her mortgage company before; why on earth were they calling her so early in the morning?

  “We haven’t received the payment this month and we just wanted to remind you that it was due on the first.”

  The first was two weeks ago. They were almost halfway through August. Had Nelson been so busy playing with his girl-child that he’d forgotten his responsibilities? “I’ll check into this and get back with you.” Carmella hung up the phone.

  A hot flash was overtaking her body, reminding her that she was forty-seven and pre-menopausal. She fanned herself with her hand, but that didn’t help, so she opened the window and then realized it was August and hot as Hades outside. So she put the window down and turned the ceiling fan on. Just as she was cooling off, the phone rang again.

  Carmella picked it up, but didn’t say anything. A recording asked her to wait for a very important message. The message was about the payment on her Lexus SRX 400 being past due. “Oh, I know he done fell and bumped his head now.”

  She dialed Nelson’s office, not caring that he would need to be on the bench within fifteen minutes and was probably handling some last minute judgeship stuff. She needed to speak with her husband and nobody was going to stop her. So when Laura, his long time secretary answered the phone, Carmella said, “Good morning, Laura, I hope your morning is going well.”

  “It is, Mrs. Marshall.”

  She noticed that Laura didn’t ask how her morning was going. No doubt Laura already knew about Nelson’s mistress. So she was probably worried that Carmella would break down on her and tell her all sorts of horrid things about her boss. “Listen Laura, I need to speak with my husband. I know he’s probably busy, but I don’t care about his schedule right now. I’m having a crisis and I need him on the phone ASAP.”

  “I’ll put you through this instant, Mrs. Marshall.” Just before transferring the call, Laura mumbled, “I’m sorry.”

  Carmella heard her and appreciated that she would let her feelings be known in the slightest way. But when Nelson picked up, she had no time to dwell on that kindness. “Why haven’t you paid the mortgage or my car note?” she screamed at him.

  “Good morning to you, too, Carmella. How are things going?” he asked in a calm manner as if everything was right with the world and the sun was shining down on him alone.

  “I was awakened by bill collectors this morning, Nelson, so I’m not having a good morning. But I bet your little girlfriend was able to sleep soundly this morning.�
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  “Jasmine doesn’t sleep in like you. She has a job to get to every morning.”

  Carmella was livid. She had worked her fingers to the bone, making a home for her family and being the perfect hostess for Nelson. “How can you be so cruel as to disparage the work I’ve done for this family? Being a housewife is no longer good enough for you, I guess.”

  “No one is belittling what you did for our family. But don’t you think it’s time to get a job and handle your own bills?”

  “No, I do not!” You’re the one who left this family. And we have depended on your income for over twenty years now, right after you stopped depending on my income to get you through law school. And I guarantee you that any judge in this town would agree with me.” She was out of her bed pacing the floor. “You are not going to get away with this, Nelson Marshall. If you want to live a double life, then you darn well better find the money to pay for both of them.”

  “Sign the divorce papers and then I’ll make sure you get a decent settlement.”

  “In your dreams,” she said and slammed down the phone. She was just about to throw it against the wall, when her bedroom door opened and Joy and Dontae rushed in. She’d totally forgotten that Joy was picking Dontae up from the airport this morning. Had he heard her? Oh God, she prayed not.

  “Mom, why are you in here screaming about Dad living a double life? What’s going on?”

  Prayer wasn’t doing her a bit of good lately. She fell back onto her bed and began screaming and crying—anything to avoid answering Dontae’s question.

  “Come on, Dontae; let me talk to you in the other room,” Joy said as she watched her mother fall apart.”

  “B-but, what’s wrong with Mom?” He went to his mother and tried to calm her. “Did I upset you, Mama? If I did, I didn’t mean to, so please stop crying.”

  “It’s not you, baby,” was all she could say before the tears came again.

  Joy pulled Dontae out of the bedroom and then Carmella sat up in the middle of the bed. She grabbed one of the fluffy pillows on Nelson’s side of the bed and held it close to her chest, while resting her face in it. The pillow still smelled of his cologne. Carmella inhaled deeply. She’d always loved the way the Dolce & Gabbana pour Homme fragrance smelled on Nelson. It was woodsy and masculine. The fragrance was not for daytime wear because it could be a bit overpowering, so Nelson only wore it during evening events. When she stopped and thought about it, she realized that he had stepped out a lot of nights without her in the last few months.

  She should have been more suspicious… paid more attention to what was going on right under her nose. She threw the pillow across the room, as the fragrance she used to love was now making her stomach curdle. She had been played for a fool and now she had to figure out how she was going to pay bills that Nelson had always assured her that she need not concern herself with.

  She had graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Art. But she never received her teaching certificate or attended graduate school so that she might be able to teach art in elementary or even at a community college. She’d married Nelson six months after graduation and then she’d had to work temp assignments and receptionist positions so she could bring money into the home while Nelson went on to law school. Once he’d finished school, she’d had their first child and he’d asked her to stay home and raise their children.

  Funny thing was, Carmella had always thought she’d gotten the long end of the stick. While Nelson was forced to go out and work for a living and deal with the rat race, she had been able to stay home with her children and concentrate on keeping her home happy. But now that she was unemployable in this new economy, it hurt like a son of gun to realize that she’d actually gotten the short and frayed end of that stick.

  4

  “He did what?” Dontae exploded. “How come no one called to tell me any of this? Why am I just now finding out that my father has been sleeping with your best friend for a year?”

  “You think I knew any of this was going on?” Joy got defensive.

  “Well, she is your best friend. And you did let her live with you.”

  “She was a roommate. And we are no longer best anything. The woman used me the whole time and threw her relationship with Daddy in my face.” Joy plopped down on the sofa and began crying.

  Dontae went to his sister, put his arm on her shoulder and said, “I didn’t mean that. I know it’s not your fault.”

  “I just can’t believe any of this is happening. Daddy and Mommy always seemed so happy. They went to church together for goodness’ sake.” Joy was simply outdone over the things that had transpired over the last few days. Her father’s betrayal had shaken her core beliefs and she was now having second, third, fourth and fifth thoughts about her upcoming wedding. On paper Troy was a good man…a good catch. But would that paper be tarnished twenty years from now?

  “We’ve got to do something. We can’t just sit here and let Daddy get away with this. I’ve never seen Mama cry like that.”

  “I know Dontae, but what can we do?”

  “Let’s go talk to Daddy,” Dontae suggested.

  Joy folded her arms around her chest. “I don’t have anything to say to that man.”

  “Well I’ve got a lot I want to say, so if you’re not going, I’ll just drive myself.” Dontae grabbed the keys to the three year old Mustang his father bought him on his sixteenth birthday and headed out the door.

  Joy went into the kitchen, spread some vegetable cream cheese on a wheat bagel, poured orange juice into a glass and grabbed a banana. She then took the light breakfast to her mother’s room. As she placed the plate on the night stand, she told her mother, “I’m leaving for class, but I need to make sure that you’re going to be all right.”

  Carmella struggled to lift her head from her pillow and then flopped back down. “I’m just tired, Joy.”

  “I know you’re tired, Mother. And I understand. But I don’t want you getting sick over this.”

  “Let me lay here for a little while longer and then I promise I’ll get up and eat something.” Carmella closed her eyes and appeared to shrink back into her bed.

  Joy couldn’t bear to see her mother like that. And knowing that her father caused the pain was crushing. She didn’t want to see him, which was a problem, because she worked for her father. Three days a week after school, Joy made her way to Judge Nelson Marshall’s office to clerk for him. Her father wanted her to see what working lawyers did all day as they came in and out of the courthouse. Joy was in her last year of law school, with only two more classes to go before graduation. But at that point, she was so confused that she didn’t know what to do.

  She had picked her major because her father had been an excellent lawyer and was now an incredible judge. But the fact that he turned out to be such a lousy husband outweighed it all. So, even though she went to class like a good little law student, she absorbed absolutely nothing of what had been taught that day. Instead of going to work, she went back to the apartment that she had all to herself and typed up a resignation letter for her father, the judge.

  She then walked around the elegant, two bedroom apartment that had been her home for the last two years and simply waved goodbye to the rooms. She had enough sense to realize that every action deserved a reaction. She was going to quit her job, so her father wasn’t going to be in the mood to continue paying her rent. And besides, he now had a girlfriend and a wife to take care of, so the twenty-three-year-old daughter would just have to fend for herself.

  Her cell phone rang. She sat down on her sofa and pulled the phone out of her Gucci bag, saw that it was Troy calling and answered, “Hey babe.”

  “Hey yourself. I was just calling to check on you. I haven’t heard from you in a couple of days and just wanted to make sure everything was all right.”

  She kept meaning to return his calls, but then something else in her suddenly dysfunctional family life would happen. “I’m sorry. I haven’t been ignoring your calls, it’s
just that my mother is really having a tough time dealing with what my father has done and I’ve been spending my time with her.”

  “I understand that.” Troy paused and then asked, “Have you talked to your father?”

  “No, and I don’t plan to either,” Joy quickly remarked.

  “Joy, I don’t want you to get upset with me, but he is still your father. You can’t ignore him forever.”

  She rolled her eyes. Men… they were all in cahoots together. Joy was quickly learning that you couldn’t trust them. Who knew what Troy was doing behind her back? And then she wondered just what type of behavior Troy would expect his children to accept from him. “So, I guess once we have children and you do me dirty, you think they should just continue giving Daddy a hug and kiss, never mind what you did to their mother.”

  “Joy, where is this coming from? I don’t have plans on doing you wrong. Our children will never have to decide between their mother and father, because they will always have both of us.”

  She harrumphed. “That’s what you say now. But just let me have two or three children, and gain a few pounds, then we’ll see about that wandering eye of yours.”

  “What wandering eye?” Troy sighed. “Look Joy, I can see that you’re going through a difficult time. But I need you to understand that I am not your father. My name is Troy Anderson and I love you.”

  She didn’t respond. She wanted to, but for the life of her, Joy couldn’t fathom the appropriate response. Love seemed like this empty word people loosely threw around. Because what did love really mean anyway? It certainly didn’t mean that the person would stay with you through sickness and whatever else came your way.

  “I’ll talk to you later, Joy. Just give me a call when you feel like talking, okay?”

  “All right, Troy. Thanks for calling,” she said as if responding to a caller who had just given condolences for the death of a family member.

  She put her cell phone back in her purse, stood, and got ready to leave her apartment when the house phone rang. She rarely received calls on that line. Only family and Troy and Jasmine knew the number. She stepped over to the phone and recognized the number as one that was coming from the county court system. But it wasn’t any of the numbers associated with her father’s office so, being curious, she picked it up.