Praise Him Anyhow - Volume 1

by Vanessa Miller

  “Good morning, Joy. How are you doing?”

  “Mom, I have a lot to tell you. But we can talk later. How is Dontae doing?”

  “When we left last night, he was alert and just happy to be alive.”

  “He has a good attitude… at least you raised one of us right.”

  “Hey, I don’t know where you got that idea, but I raised both of my children right,” Carmella informed her oldest child.

  “I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to church with Lance this morning and then I’ll meet you over at the hospital.”

  “Well… well. Okay then, I’ll see you at the hospital this afternoon.”

  Joy heard the surprise in her mother’s voice, but chose not to comment on it. She wanted to wait until she could tell her mother the entire story of how God had finally answered some of her questions and how she’d willingly praised God.

  She met Lance in the lobby and then they headed out. “What church are we going to?” she asked once they were seated in the car.

  “Turning Points Ministries, it’s right off of South Tryon.”

  “Okay.” Joy leaned back in her seat and got comfortable for the ride.

  Lance gave Joy a questioning glance, then asked, “You didn’t have anything else to drink this morning, did you?”

  Her eyebrows furrowed. Then she told him, “I almost forgot that I had been drinking last night. No, I didn’t drink anything this morning. I am completely sober.”

  “Then what’s got you so chill?”

  “I can’t tell you all my secrets,” she said, because the last thing she wanted to do was tell Lance that she’d had an encounter with God the night before. Her mother would believe her— that was the kind of relationship they had—but she didn’t want Lance to think that she’d lost her mind.

  “I don’t even want to know. I’m just glad to see that you’re in a much better mood. You even smiled at me when you came downstairs.”

  Joy didn’t say anything, but her lips formed a smile again.

  As Lance continued driving, he said, “I better strike while the iron is hot. Do you remember when I told you that I wanted to talk to you about something?”

  “Mmmhmm.”

  “Well, it’s about your dad.”

  Her smile evaporated. “Come on, Lance. I was enjoying hanging out with you. Please don’t ruin my day.”

  “This is important, Joy. Just hear me out, okay?”

  She waved a hand in the air. “Go on.”

  “You got me to thinking when you said that Jasmine was always around and that she sits in on some of your father’s cases. And that she was present for the case when my client asked for you to recuse yourself.”

  “You must really hate the fact that I’m in a good mood, because you’re trying to bring me down by rehashing this stuff.”

  “No, no, no… Listen to me,” Lance demanded. “It always bothered me that my client didn’t want to delay his trial while another judge was located. I mean, he would be out on bail, so why would he care, right?”

  Now Joy was listening. “That’s the same thing I thought. But once my father got arrested for accepting bribes, I figured your client had probably paid him off, just like the others.”

  “I don’t think so. Your father assured me that he’s never spoken to any of the defendants outside of court and I believe him. But what if Jasmine has been talking to these defendants and getting them to give her money so that she can talk your dad into letting them off easy?”

  “If he did what Jasmine wanted, he’s still just as guilty,” Joy said.

  “But I don’t think he knew that he was doing what she wanted. Let’s look at the facts. Your father has a total of six accusers, but two of them are behind bars, so they obviously didn’t get the outcome they paid for.”

  “So you’re saying that Jasmine has been playing my father for a fool all these years, and he doesn’t even know it?”

  “That’s exactly what I think,” Lance said as he turned in to the office park area where Turning Points Ministries held service.

  “Even if it’s true, I don’t know what you want me to do about it.” She also didn’t know if she wanted to do anything about it, but she didn’t want Lance to think of her as cold hearted again, so she kept those thoughts to herself. “I’m off the case, remember?”

  “Come on, Joy. This is your father we’re talking about. When you go back to work, just talk with the DA, ask him to interview those witnesses again to see if you all missed anything.”

  Her eyes did a half roll and then she said, “I’ll think about it.” Then she pointed in Lance’s face and sternly told him, “But I don’t want you running to tell my father that I’m considering doing anything on his behalf.”

  Lance lifted his hands in surrender. “Okay, but I’m telling you, your father is innocent. I just need a little bit of help to prove it.”

  Joy did a full eye roll as she got out of the car. She didn’t want to hear anything more about her father. It was the first time in years that she had gotten dressed for church on Sunday and she didn’t want thoughts of Nelson Marshall to ruin that bit of progress.

  As they entered the small church, they were greeted by smiling faces and warm hearted people. Joy was immediately drawn to the place. Turning Points Ministries was not in a traditional church building. It was located in a business district. A realty company was next door and other businesses were all around it. But Joy felt the spirit of God the moment she walked in the building and she had a feeling that all the surrounding businesses were being blessed of God, simply because of the presence of Turning Points Ministries.

  The praise and worship team was small and mighty. Joy was immediately put at ease by the sound of worship coming out of the mouths of the three women at the front of the church. Sometimes tears would flow down their faces as they worshipped, and she could see the pain of longsuffering on the face of one of the worshippers, but she praised Him anyhow… just like her mother had done. And just as Joy was doing right then and there as she lifted her hands in praise to God and gave Him all the praise she had, even as tears streamed down her face, because she, too, had longsuffering issues.

  Fred Lott, Jr. was the presiding pastor of Turning Points Ministries. He was a tall fair-skinned man with a heart of gold. He reminded her of Ramsey as he spoke lovingly about his wife and about members of his congregation.

  He then told the congregation, “You were meant to be free, and today I’m going to show you how to get your freedom.” He opened his Bible and flipped a few pages. “Turn with me to Luke, chapter thirteen. I’m going to begin reading at verse ten.

  “And Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues on the Sabbath. And behold, there was a woman which had a spirit of infirmity eighteen years, and was bowed together, and could in no wise lift up herself. And when Jesus saw her, he called her to him and said unto her, Woman thou art loosed from thine infirmity. And he laid his hands on her: and immediately she was made straight, and glorified God.”

  “And the ruler of the synagogue answered with indignation, because that Jesus had healed on the Sabbath day… The Lord then answered him and said, thou hypocrite, doth not each one of you on the Sabbath loose his ox from the stall, and lead him away to watering? And ought not this woman, being a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan hath bound lo, these eighteen years be loosed from this bond on the Sabbath day?”

  Pastor Lott finished his Bible reading and then looked up at the congregation and said, “I want you all to understand that there are some things that have us bound and we can’t get free from them of our own accord, because this thing is a work of the devil.

  “The woman with the infirmity stayed bent over, unable to fix her situation for eighteen years because she kept trying to do it herself.”

  Joy tried to imagine what it must have felt like to have to walk everywhere bent over for eighteen years. It must have been awful for that woman.

  Then Pastor Lott said, “You can easily see pe
ople’s physical disabilities, but what about the spiritual ones… what has you bent over? Is it financial… marriage… family?”

  Joy’s hand pressed against her mouth as she tried to stifle an involuntary scream. Her mom had told her that bitterness was eating her alive and now it felt as if this pastor was preaching directly to her. She had been carrying the spirit of bitterness for five long years and it had her bowed so low that she couldn’t raise herself up.

  “I came here today to tell you to straighten up!” Pastor Lott’s voice roared throughout the building. “You might have been dealing with things all your life, but you can let it go today. Some of you have been dealing with bitterness that you refuse to let go of, but I guarantee you, the minute you let it go, that’s when your deliverance will come.”

  It was as if God had allowed this pastor to read the very thoughts and intent of her heart. By the end of the sermon, Joy was an emotional wreck, but she didn’t know what to do about it. Pastor Lott’s words sounded good in theory, but she had been carrying her bitterness for so long that she honestly didn’t know what she would do without it. She’d finished law school, stopped drinking herself into a stupor, gotten herself hired on at the District Attorney’s office… all to show her father that she didn’t need him and could be successful even without him in her life. If she let her bitterness go, what would be her driving force?

  As he closed the Bible and ended his message, Pastor Lott said, I’m feeling very strongly, that God wants me to pray for a few of you. You know what… we’re a close-knit group. Why don’t you all just come on up here and let’s form a circle of prayer.”

  Joy had kept to herself for so long, that even though she knew that she was probably one of the people God wanted Pastor Lott to pray for, she never would have singled herself out and gone up to the altar. But now that Pastor Lott had asked for everyone to come, if she stayed in her seat, she would be singled out for that. So Joy grabbed hold of Lance’s hand and joined the rest of the congregation as they formed their circle of prayer.

  Pastor Lott said a general prayer for the group and then he began anointing the forehead of each person in the circle. As he touched them he said a quick prayer that seemed tailored to that person. The closer he got to Joy, the more worried she became, because if this man read her mail and looked into her innermost thoughts, he would know how truly wicked she had allowed herself to become.

  Tears began to flow again and Joy couldn’t stop them. She had allowed her father’s sins to turn her into someone she never intended to become. She felt as if she’d been given a life sentence with no chance for parole. But then Pastor Lott touched her. And from the moment he placed his hand on her forehead, Joy felt a consuming fire ignite her from within.

  Pastor Lott stepped back and looked at her for a moment. He closed his eyes as if listening to the voice of the Lord and then said, “God has loosed you, daughter. Walk in your freedom and never turn back to that thing that tried to bind you for a lifetime.”

  Joy felt every bit of the freedom that Pastor Lott had just declared God had given her. She lifted her hands and began praising God like never before. Her mom had been right all along. For it was through her questions and bitterness that she had found God and learned how to praise Him while waiting on her breakthrough. Her brother was still in the hospital, her father had left the family, but Joy could now see that even Nelson Marshall’s actions couldn’t destroy them. As long as they had God, she and her family could get through any storm.

  10

  Psalm 51:7-8

  Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

  Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.

  After church, Lance took her back to the hotel. They said a long goodbye, as the hug he gave her lingered so long that the smell of his cologne stayed with her even as they parted. “I’ve got to head back to Raleigh. I want to get a jump on my investigation, so I can get your father out of this mess.”

  “My father should be grateful that you’re on his case, because I know for a fact that you’re not going to throw in the towel. You’ll fight to the end on his behalf.”

  “True that.”

  She smiled at him, then said, “Thanks for inviting me to church today, Lance. I can’t tell you how much that meant to me.”

  “You don’t have to tell me. I can see it in your eyes.” Lance lowered his head and lightly kissed Joy then backed away with his hands in the air. As if he needed to keep them in the air or he’d do something else with them. “I’ll see you when you get back to Raleigh.”

  Joy nodded. She then got in a cab and headed for the hospital. Carmella was waiting for her when she arrived. She and Ramsey had just come out of Dontae’s room and now her mother wanted answers.

  “How was church?”

  “Wonderful.” Joy grabbed her mother’s arms and swung around with her. “Pastor Lott preached just what I needed to hear. But Mom, you’ll never believe what else happened… Last night, I had an encounter with God. You told me to question God, and He showed up when I needed Him most and let me know just who He is, and that encounter made all the difference.”

  “I’m so proud of you, hon. You look so happy and I’m thrilled to see that look on your face again.”

  “I feel…” Joy hesitated as she tried to put words to her feelings, “like that seven-year- old child that I used to be. The one who used to believe that God could do anything, but fail. That’s how I feel.”

  Carmella lifted her hands and gave praise to God. Although her son had a traumatic brain injury, he was alive, and now she also knew that her daughter was not only alive, but born again. She was truly amazed by God. He was a wonder worker.

  Joy gave Ramsey, Raven and Ronny a hug, they were all in the waiting room, taking turns going into Dontae’s room. The doctor didn’t want all of them crowding Dontae at one time and the family was trying to be respectful of that. Ramsey Jr. and Renee both had to fly back home to get ready for Monday morning meetings, but they’d both come back to the hospital early that morning before flying out.

  Joy and her mom went into Dontae’s room. His fiancée was already in the room along with her father. Joy was thankful that her brother wasn’t going through the ordeal alone. It was good to have a supportive family. Especially now with Dontae’s head and knee aching so badly that he kept moaning and alternately rubbing either his head or knee. Joy didn’t know what else to do, so she started praying for him.

  Dontae smiled at his sister. “What’s gotten into you? I haven’t heard you pray in years.”

  “I finally came back to my senses,” she told her brother.

  “I’m just happy that she’s smiling again,” Carmella said.

  “I got my joy back, thank you very much. The only thing I’m worried about right now is my brother.”

  “No need to worry about Dontae, he’s going to be just fine. Isn’t that right, baby?” Tory interjected.

  Dontae winced and then said, “That’s right. I’m Superman.”

  “Well those big linebackers must be your kryptonite.” Joy walked over to Dontae’s bed and put her hands on the bedrail. “Please tell me that you’re not thinking about going back on that field. I know that you love the game, but we love you more.”

  Tory rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest. She was acting ugly, but Joy ignored it. There were many days that she had acted just as ugly and her family put up with her behavior; so instead of telling her off, she was going to pray for Tory and also pray that Dontae opened his eyes. Good Lord, what was her brother doing with a woman like that?

  Dontae put his hand over hers. “It’s hard, Sis. This is all I’ve ever dreamed of doing. If I’m not a football player, then what am I?”

  “Exactly!” Tory shouted as if someone had been talking to her.

  “Let it go, Tory. This is my family. They have a right to be concerned about me.”

  “I know, baby
,” she said as she came to stand by his side. “I just don’t want them talking you out of a career that you love so much, just because of a little bump on the head.”

  “He was out cold for several minutes,” Carmella corrected.

  “You and I already talked about this, Mom. I listened to everything the doctor said. So, my goal right now is to go through with the rehab on my knee and then I’ll make my decision on whether or not to return to the NFL.” He looked around the room, from Tory, to Joy, to his mother and father and then asked, “Can everybody live with that?”

  Tory pursed her lips and then strutted back to her seat.

  The others nodded their agreement and Nelson said, “We just want you happy and safe, Son. That’s all.”

  “I know, Dad. And to tell you the truth, if this had to happen to me, I’m just glad that my family was here. I probably would have gone into a deep depression if I had to face this alone.”

  “You are never alone, Dontae. And don’t you forget it,” Carmella told her son. “We’re not just here for the football player, we’re here for you.”

  They visited for a little while longer, then Joy went to the waiting area and asked Raven to walk down to the cafeteria with her to get something to eat.

  Ramsey popped up. “If you’re going to be out of the room for a while, we’re going in.” Ronny stood up and joined his father.

  “Y’all can have it. I don’t think I can take much more of Miss Hollywood-Tory right now. I need a long break.”

  “Was she that bad?” Raven asked as they headed to the cafeteria.

  Shaking her head, Joy told her stepsister, “I honestly don’t understand how both my brother and my father, two very intelligent men, could be so easily duped by these blood-sucking women.”

  “Tell me about it,” Raven agreed. “And meanwhile, women like us, who want to be a support to a good man… we sit on the shelf just waiting to be noticed.”

  Joy couldn’t imagine that as beautiful as Raven was, that she had spent much time on any shelf. But life was strange, and anything could happen, because Joy had put her own self on the shelf to avoid the hurt and pain loving a man could bring. She’d seen firsthand how her mother had dissolved into almost nothing after her father had walked out on her. She didn’t want to ever feel like that. But did that mean that she would never give love a try?