Healing the Lawman's Heart

by Ruth Logan Herne

  “I think you’re being very sensible,” Tina told her. She took a seat alongside Tanner for just a minute, and he had to slide over to give her space, which meant he was once again directly across from Julia’s bright blue eyes, her pinned-up hair and the black-rimmed glasses tucked into the upsweep. She looked real good when she wore the glasses, sending knowing looks his way.

  Without the glasses?

  She looked simply beautiful, and the hair...

  He wondered what it was like when she let it down. Curly? Wavy? Soft? Oh, yeah. He was 100 percent certain it would be soft.

  “Thank you, Tina.” Julia aimed a pert look in her father’s direction. “At five foot four, I can’t indulge in pie the way these six-footers can pack it away. And I don’t want to wake up in five years and realize it’s thirty pounds I need to lose instead of five or ten.”

  Tanner sent Julia a look that made sweet color rise to her cheeks. “You think you need to lose weight, Julia?” When she started to stammer under the intensity of his gaze, he reached out, covered her hand with his and then squeezed gently. “Why would you think to improve on perfection?”

  She stared at him as if gauging his sincerity, so he held her gaze, kept his hand right where it was and smiled.

  Marty shot him a look of approval. Tina stood, grinned and went back to work.

  Julia sat silent for long seconds, her eyes locked with his, until he gently removed his hand.

  She breathed then, but the look on her face, as if he’d just sent her world into a spin, made him want to keep her world turning on a regular basis. And that felt real good.

  * * *

  He’d held her hand.

  Julia tried to decipher the meaning behind Tanner’s actions as she crossed the strip mall parking lot, but the sight of the smashed front window derailed her train of thought. She strode forward, furious, and when two hands gripped her shoulders and pulled her back toward the cars, she swung around, and almost punched Tanner in the jaw.

  “Whoa, girl. It’s me, one of the good guys.” He kept his voice low and kept backing her away from the shattered front window. “Stay put with your father while I check this out. Please.”

  She started to argue and Tanner gave her one of those “I know best” cop looks. He waited, silent, strong and crazy good-looking while she caught her breath. “Go ahead.”

  He moved forward, weapon drawn. The scream of a siren said he’d already called for backup, which meant he was able to assess things quickly because she hadn’t noticed the broken glass until she was almost upon it.

  You were thinking of hand-holding and long, slow looks. You’d do better to keep your mind on the tasks at hand. Dealing with Vic, this new clinic and keeping your boys happy. You don’t need anything messing up your life right now, and a romance gone bad messes things up big time.

  “Why would someone do this?” Marty stared at the broken window and ran a hand along the nape of his neck. “Who would be bothered by a women’s clinic here?”

  Tanner came back their way once he put his gun away. “Empty spaces make for easy meetings, drop-offs, pickups, handoffs. If the OB practice puts a successful site here, all of a sudden there’s an increase in respectability. In this area of Clearwater, that poses a threat to people who prefer to lurk in the shadows.”

  “You think they want to scare us off?”

  Two sheriff’s cars cruised into the lot, lights flashing. A state trooper SUV followed them in, and the gathered group of uniforms checked the premises thoroughly. “Nothing missing inside,” Tanner reported when they came back out.

  “All of your power tools are where they belong, but the brick throwers left you a message.” The second trooper held up a scribbled note that had been wrapped around one of the bricks. “Do your good deeds somewhere else. Or else.”

  Julia stared at the threatening note. The hairs along her neck stood up. “They’re trying to scare us out of here? That’s the stupidest—” She pulled in a breath, moved forward and turned toward Tanner. “You warned me.”

  His expression said yes. His words offered something else. “Change for the better often starts in distress, Julia. In this neighborhood, when you ruffle one set of feathers, they turn around and ruffle the next set. And rarely is there an action that doesn’t spur a reaction.”

  “It’s not too late to change locations,” Marty offered. “I like helping folks as much as the next guy, but the thought of you being in harm’s way doesn’t sit well, Jules.”

  “How do we reach the people who need us if we hide the clinic in an upscale suburban site, Dad? You saw for yourself that Gracie Jayne had to arrange a ride into the valley, then took a bus to the end of the line, then walked nearly a mile to access the clinic. If we put the clinic in some safe, antiseptic spot, we miss the intended outreach. You didn’t raise me to do things halfway.”

  Marty scrubbed a hand to the base of his neck. “I might regret that particular mind-set about now.”

  The two deputies drew near. “Ms. Harrison, we’re going to write up a report on this and we’ll follow through with an investigation, but they’re definitely warning you off. You might want to consider the possible repercussions of whatever decision you make. Like Trooper Reddington said, there’s fallout just about anywhere in this area. Some of the locals get real worried about change.”

  “The decision’s been made, and no brick-throwing idiot is going to mess up eight months of planning, grant writing and red-tape jumping.” Spitting mad, Julia looked at Tanner. The expression on his face said he was sorry about what happened, but not surprised. “Can you guys keep us safe?”

  “We can try. And once the clinic is here, the perps might shift their focus to another run-down area. There’s no shortage of them for the next fourteen blocks.”

  “Which means it doesn’t really matter which roughed-up area we pick, we could be targeted in any of them.”

  The second trooper nodded. “That about sums it up.”

  Julia pulled out her phone and called the same company that had boarded up her house a few days ago. “They’re coming right out to board us up. I’m not going to have them replace the window until the remodel is complete and we’re in. Why give them another potential target? Once we’re in, there will be an alarm system and cameras, so it might not be quite as easy to hit us as it was today. In broad daylight.” She grabbed her father’s hand. “Do you mind picking up the boys for me in a little while? I want to make sure everything gets done properly here.”

  “I’m not leaving you alone, I’m sure Piper—”

  “I’m staying.”

  Tanner interrupted the conversation and his firm tone offered assurance, but he was supposed to visit Zach that afternoon. “You don’t have to do that,” Julia said. “You’ve done enough, so why don’t you go visit Zach like you were going to do?”

  “I’ll visit Zach once we’re done here.” He kept his voice mild, as if he didn’t have a life and things to do on his day off. “Right now, this is where I need to be. Zach would kill me if I left you here on your own. I’m staying.”

  “The boys have religion classes at the church right after school, so they don’t need a ride for a while,” Marty added. “I’ll call Berto so that Piper can help with the afternoon milking and we’ll be all set.”

  Julia stared at the broken glass. Emotions swelled within her. Anger, frustration and disappointment churned like thick, sour milk. How could something meant to bring good to a struggling community be perceived as a threat? The deputy sheriffs and the trooper had a quiet word with Tanner, then they all left. A few minutes later the emergency enclosure truck pulled up.

  She didn’t want to go inside the building and work, not knowing they were already a target, but she did, and Tanner followed behind her. She stopped inside the door. “You were right. I’m saying it now to get it out
of the way, so you don’t have to. This is a bad location, and maybe a bad idea all around.”

  In his face she saw more than just another law enforcement guy knowing too much. She saw a man who seemed to empathize with her, almost as if he understood her need to help, but that was silly because Tanner was single and lived in a yuppie-friendly condo overlooking the water on the more affluent part of the long, narrow lake. “It meant a lot to Gracie Jayne this morning.”

  That seemed like so very long ago, but he was right. It had meant a lot to the beleaguered woman.

  “And it will mean a lot to others. Let’s get a few things done, just enough so we don’t leave here today feeling defeated.”

  “Why are you doing this?” She didn’t mean to sound gruff, but she felt gruff right now, as if all of her good intentions were mired in calamitous results.

  He pondered the question almost too long, then looked beyond her to the staked out rooms. “Because it might help someone who needs it. And right now, that’s reason enough.”

  Julia moved ahead of him. All the midday thoughts of flirting and fun had been dashed by the vandalism, but when she pictured the day, Gracie Jayne’s face was the image she carried into the work area. Nearly two hours later, when she’d finished framing the final two walls of room three with Tanner, the repeated physical pounding of the nail gun strengthened her resolve.

  They’d have their clinic and they’d have it here, no matter what the local thugs thought. Because good care for women and unborn babies was what every one of them deserved.

  * * *

  For a guy who’s made a practice of avoiding pregnancy like the plague, you’re doomed, man.

  Tanner shushed himself, knocked on Zach’s door and pushed it open when he heard Zach holler from inside later that afternoon. He strode in and grabbed a seat next to Zach’s recliner. “We need to come up with a plan to keep your sister safe.”

  “My dad filled me in,” Zach acknowledged. “Knowing you were right won’t thrill Julia because they’d already jumped headfirst into this project before she ran it by me a few months ago.”

  “And you told her what?” Tanner asked.

  “Same thing you did. You mess with the locals, they’re liable to make your life miserable. Now it will be our job, well—” he stared glumly at his raised leg “—your job to keep her safe. For the next few months anyway. You got any ideas who threw the brick?”

  “Most likely someone from our cast of usual suspects, but we’ll have to see how things pan out. Catching anyone will be hard unless we get footage. The clinic’s security system won’t go in for a couple of weeks when the electrician hardwires the place, so I’m installing a temp. I intend to have it in place by tomorrow night.”

  Tanner faced Zach more fully before asking the next question. “Was I wrong to tell Julia it was a bad spot? Because now I feel like a jerk for being right.”

  Zach shook his head. “You were spot-on, but Julia’s brand of medicine is to take help to the streets as often as possible. Did you know she wrote the grant application for this endeavor?”

  “Nope.”

  “Julia’s got a heart of gold, an eager-to-please personality and a work ethic that puts most people to shame. That’s why she and Piper get along so well. They’re driven and bossy.”

  “And cute. And nice. And faith-filled.” Piper came in from milking just in time to overhear Zach’s words. “She’s the kind of person who is constantly doing for others and expects nothing in return, and her ex-husband is a jerk for taking advantage of that.”

  “I can’t believe she has to take the boys ninety minutes east next week to have her first face-to-face with the cheating moron.” Zach’s dark expression said he’d like to have a few words with Julia’s ex-husband. “She won’t let Dad go with them. My father’s a peaceful guy, but he didn’t take kindly to his only daughter being cheated on.”

  “She’s got to take the boys across the state?”

  “Vic lives in Ithaca. They’re required to meet halfway between here and there.”

  “I’m going with her on the drop-off,” Piper added. “But she’s on her own for the pickup next Sunday, and Vic’s the kind of lowlife that picks his moments carefully.”

  Any guy who took advantage of a woman like Julia was pond scum in Tanner’s book. Tanner stood and moved to leave as Piper’s stepmother bustled in the back door with Piper and Zach’s boy, Jackson. The little guy spotted Tanner, shrieked in mortal terror and raced for his mother.

  Tanner stood, rooted, not sure what to do because his simple presence scared the little guy to death.

  Lucia moved in quickly. She started talking to Jackson in a mixture of English and Spanish that defied mere mortal understanding. The toddler got the gist of her scolding. He peeked up and sent Tanner a smile so sweet and winsome that one side of Tanner’s crusty heart melted while the other section shattered into a million pieces.

  Solomon would have been eighteen months older than Jack. He’d never been given the chance to smile, laugh, run, jump, climb on counters and wreak havoc. So small and fragile, born too soon and gone just as quickly.

  His heart cramped. He couldn’t do this, couldn’t stand here watching the blessing of Zach’s beautiful child while missing his own. He started to leave, but then Jackson raced across the floor, grabbed hold of his legs and wouldn’t let go.

  Tanner froze. Should he pick him up? Talk to him? Or run for his life?

  He looked down. Jackson’s round eyes stared up at him, a blend of brown, green and gray like a winter sea. Tanner reached down, picked the little fellow up and hugged him.

  And the toddler hugged him back.

  Emotions rose high. His breath caught. He had to put the kid down and run because the onslaught of old feelings and lost chances grabbed him dead center and refused to let go. He wasn’t about to have an emotional breakdown in front of these nice people.

  He made a lame excuse to Piper and Zach, gently extricated Jackson’s grip from his neck with Lucia’s help and left as quickly as he could.

  He got to his car just as his lawyer called. He hesitated, then answered the phone. “Darren, what’s up?”

  “We’re on the brink of good news,” the lawyer exclaimed. “Southern Erie Women’s Medical will likely make an offer to settle out of court.”

  The news should have made Tanner feel better. Isn’t that why he’d pursued the lawsuit? To make someone pay for the loss of his wife and child? “Why?”

  “Lawsuits are costly,” the lawyer explained. “They take a lot of time. Busy medical practices carry insurance for that very reason. For them to invest time in a suit they might lose makes no sense. So the insurance company seems willing to settle before we go to court, which is good, right?”

  Was it? Tanner wasn’t sure. “Does this admit their wrongdoing?”

  “It doesn’t have to,” Darren explained. “It’s a legal means to clear the case and move on, with significant payout to the injured party, which is you.”

  “So they’re willing to pay me even if they think they did nothing wrong?”

  “That’s how the system works.”

  “Well, that’s a horrible system, Darren.” The lawyer’s silence said Tanner’s reply confused him, but then he launched what to him was probably a simple explanation.

  “It makes things easier all around. They may not feel responsible for the sad outcome of your wife’s heart problems, but they commiserate with your loss.”

  Tanner didn’t want commiseration. He wanted justice. He wanted someone to admit they messed up and would never, ever do it again. He longed for the satisfaction of a heartfelt apology and a pledge to do better.

  Instead, they were going to offer him money and clean their slate of him.

  “There’s no offer yet, and I’m not sure what time frame we’re
looking at, but I wanted to give you a heads-up. We’re almost there, man. Almost there. The settlement’s so close I can feel it!”

  “Keep me updated,” he said, then shut off the phone, afraid he’d say too much. Raw feelings wrestled inside him. Holding Jack Harrison, the scent and sight of the little boy so fresh in his mind—

  What price could he put on that? None. He wasn’t after money. He wanted justice. He wanted joy. He wanted—

  He sighed, staring at the dank, dark, rain-shrouded March afternoon.

  He wanted what he couldn’t have. His family back. And no amount of settlement was going to fix that. Ever.

  He hit Upper Lake Road and drove past Julia’s boarded-up house. The reconstruction of her back wall and half the kitchen would take weeks. Then to have her new project targeted by vandals, in the midst of whatever was going on with her ex-husband, had to be the icing on the cake.

  Growing up like he did, pulled in multiple directions by his parents, he hated divorce. He’d promised himself to steer clear of family drama. Been there, done that and had strong emotions because of it.

  He wanted a normal family. Was that too much to ask?

  He got home, parked, walked through the condo and stepped onto the balcony overlooking the water. Sheeting rain pummeled the strategically placed rock wall, built to keep water from flooding the western shore. Waves lapped the boulders, rising and falling beneath the condo lighting.

  Lunch with Julia and Marty seemed like it’d happened years ago. He’d forgotten how nice it was to smile, laugh and talk with a woman. He’d dated a few times since Ashley’s death, but it always seemed contrived and not quite right.

  Until today, sitting in The Pelican’s Nest, talking with Julia about her silly notion of dieting.

  Julia, the midwife, a woman who pledged her life to helping other women, the very same profession he was suing for a great deal of money.

  How could he reconcile it? And why did it feel wrong to push Ashley’s medical practice for payment if they didn’t do anything wrong? If they weren’t negligent, why should they pay? Why would they pay?