Mustard on Top

by Wanda Degolier

  “All night.”

  Unsure why, Ben breathed deep then started at the beginning. Perhaps Randy’s link to Helen made Ben trust him, or the way Randy studied him with milky eyes.

  Ben finished, and Randy nodded. “Huh. What you got wrong is underestimating Helen’s pride.”

  “Her pride?”

  “She don’t want to be your charity case.”

  “She’s not.”

  “Put yourself in her shoes.”

  Ben thought he had, but now he wasn’t sure. “I—” He didn’t know what to say.

  “You love her?”

  “I asked her to marry me, didn’t I?”

  The old guy cocked an eyebrow. “You tell her you love her?”

  He hadn’t. “That’s implied.”

  Randy shook his head. “She’s got to be convinced you love her, that you’d rather be nowhere else, son. That woman’s got pride, and the grit to refuse even Prince Charming. You got to be sincere.”

  “Dogs are up.” Moe called.

  “I’ll get them for you.”

  Randy grabbed his arm. “Let me, while I can still walk. I got my pride too.”

  ****

  Her rump hurt from sitting so long, and the blisters on her hands had turned to calluses. Helen tilted her head sideways to read the titles on the books in the library at the rehabilitation facility. Taller, thicker, and more worn than the rest, Helen pulled the World History hardback out and opened it. She preferred natural light, so she rolled the wheelchair to one of the tall windows that overlooked the courtyard.

  With another surgery scheduled, she was in leg limbo, work limbo, and home limbo. At least she had good health insurance. And Agatha. Where would she be without Agatha taking charge of Hot Diggitys?

  She cracked open the book. The history of the world, apparently, began in Mesopotamia around 3500 BC. Lines of text were highlighted in dull yellow and handwritten notes were scrawled in the margins. Helen began reading about the Egyptians when someone stepped next to her. She glanced up, and startled, lost her grip. The book fell in her lap, slamming shut.

  To see Ben again, after missing him for nearly a month, had her rattled. Her chest and face warmed as her heart raced. “Hi.”

  “You’re looking good. Rest agrees with you,” Ben said.

  Helen, self-conscious, touched her hair, which hadn’t been washed in three days. Getting help with every function of her life, from showering to getting into bed, humbled her. “You too.” Helen breathed in his scent. “Agatha says you’ve been working a lot at Hot Diggitys. Thank you.”

  “Can we talk?”

  Helen’s gut tightened. “Certainly. There’s a chair where you can sit.” She pointed. If Ben tried to push her or offer her money, she’d hit him. She was temporarily lame, not incompetent. He walked to the chair and sat, and a wave of relief flooded Helen.

  She grabbed the wheels of her chair and rolled over. “I thought I’d bring along my own chair,” she joked.

  “Good thinking.”

  Something in his eyes had changed. He clearly had something to say. Helen waited. The last time she’d seen him, he’d been wearing a suit. This time he wore jeans and a button-down shirt; she preferred this style.

  “I came to apologize.”

  “For?”

  He scratched the back of his head. “For treating you and Theo like you needed fixing.”

  Helen drew in a deep breath, she was horrible at holding grudges. “You thought you were helping.” In a lot of ways, he had. Theo wouldn’t be at Emerson if Ben hadn’t shown up.

  Ben pursed his lips. “I didn’t view you as an equal at the time.” He stared at the ground. “I’m embarrassed to admit that.”

  “That’s okay.”

  Ben’s laughed sardonically.

  “What?” Helen asked.

  “The crazy thing is I know you’ll forgive me sooner than I’ll ever forgive myself.” He sighed. “You have a generous heart.”

  The comment was better than telling her she trusted too easily, but still made her uncomfortable. “Thank you, I think.”

  “You make me want to be a better man. Viewing the world through your eyes the last few months has taught me a lot.”

  Helen choked up, then did what came naturally, she downplayed the compliment. “What, money can’t buy you love? The Beatles get the credit.”

  Ben took her hand. “You’ve a real beauty about you. A captivating earthiness.”

  Helen squirmed and pain shot through her leg. She hoped he wasn’t there to give her compliments when she wanted so much more. “You sure you got the right girl?”

  Ben chuckled. “Okay you’re gracious unless someone is giving you a compliment.”

  “Enough about me. I’ve been thinking. If your goal to make sure I’m looked after, hire someone. There’s no reason you need to nurse me.”

  Ben shook his head, popped open his briefcase, and retrieved a paper bag. “I talked to a friend of yours. He asked me to give you this.”

  The tan-colored bag, splotched with dark brown spots on the bottom, smelled of fried food and something worse. Helen tried not to make a face, as she unrolled the top and saw the smattering of dollars among the coins. “Who gave you this?”

  “One of your homeless friends. Randy I think.”

  “How sweet. They shouldn’t have done this.”

  “He made me realize...” Ben’s voice cracked, and he stopped talking.

  He fidgeted with his briefcase, and Helen sighed. Loving this man seemed unavoidable. “Made you realize what?”

  “He made me realize how I missed the obvious.” Ben took a deep breath. “I love you Helen. I want to marry you so I can spend my life with you. My motivation is not some misguided need to fix what I’d so badly screwed up.”

  Tears sprung to Helen’s eyes, and she bit her lip to keep from crying.

  Ben went on. “I know I can’t change the past, but I’m finally ready to move on to the future. Please say you’ll be in my future.”

  Helen swiped the escapee tears off her face. She’d been sure guilt had motivated his first proposal. And maybe it had, but the love on his face was so sincere it nearly burned through her. They were good together. “I can’t even walk right now. Why—”

  “I’ll carry you down the aisle if necessary.” Ben grinned.

  Still, her doubt lingered. “What about your partnership? You can’t walk away from such an opportunity.”

  “Yes I can.” His tone had a swagger as if to say even considering the idea had been ludicrous. “In Chicago, I realized how the crazy pace is, how the partners work ridiculous hours, and don’t interact with their families. All I could think was that I’d rather be here with you. I want to enjoy my time before I die, not cram through life counting up billable hours. I don’t want to see sunsets from thirty-five floors up.”

  Helen swallowed. “Nalley truly is a glamorous place.” She aimed for light sarcasm and missed her mark. Ben didn’t react. Helen decided to ask the question that had plagued her. The words barely crawled over the hunk of hope in her throat. “When did you decide to turn down the partnership?” She feared he’d turned down the job because of her accident.

  “The partnership?” Ben seemed stunned. “After they gave me the contract, I took it back to my condo and thought about it. Once becoming partner became real, and I truly contemplated linking my life to theirs, I couldn’t do it. My heart is here. More money does not equal more happiness. I turned down the offer the following morning.

  “They wasted another hour of my time trying to change my mind. That’s why I was late to Theo’s party.”

  Theo’s party seemed like another life. If Ben spoke the truth, he’d turned down the offer before her accident. She’d been convinced events had occurred the other way around.

  “You have more compassion and love in your little pinky than all the partners at Blake, Esteban and Associates combined. I don’t want to become that.”

  “So what are your plan
s?”

  “I intend to open a small practice here in Nalley, something part-time maybe. I was thinking I could travel with you to help you open up all those new franchises. We’d see the world together.”

  Helen smiled. “Sounds poetic.”

  “I want to enjoy life, with you, if you’ll have me.”

  Epilogue

  Ten Months Later

  The sunshine warmed Ben’s face. He stood with the beachfront to his right and the storefronts to his left, and stared down the center of the boardwalk. People in everything from dress suits and gowns to grungy street clothes had forged a path.

  Helen wore a simple, white dress, and carrying a bouquet of red-and-orange flowers, came up—walked up—the path. Her dark hair was swept into a loose twist showing off her elegant neck.

  With her arm linked through Theo’s, she moved slowly, stopping to grasp the hands of friends and to give each a smile. To Ben it seemed she was universally loved, and as he watched her move toward him, gratitude for all the things that had led to this moment grew within him.

  Helen stopped three feet away to give Agatha a hug before squeezing Moe’s shoulder and shaking Jeremy’s hand. She stopped in front her mom, Eve, and smiling reached for her. Eve burst into tears.

  Ben harbored resentment toward Eve for taking Helen’s money, but Helen forgiven her. Forgiveness, was another thing he admired in his bride. Then Helen turned her glow on him, radiating the kind of warmth that heated him from the inside out.

  “You’re beautiful,” he said.

  She captured his hand and squeezed.

  Ben leaned in to kiss her when the judge cleared her throat. He ignored the judge, and pressed his lips to Helen’s. The crowd cheered.

  He broke the off the kiss, and grinning, gazed to their guests. He’d found home, happiness, and so much love that he could share his smile and his heart.

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