OUTLAW'S BABY

by Amy Brent

  But something was stopping me. I didn’t understand it. Maybe if we left here, then I would be in a position to think with my head and not my fucking dick.

  “Baby. I’m having your baby.”

  She blurts out, and then the tears start rolling uncontrollably again.

  “Did you say?”

  She nods because I can’t even mutter the word.

  Baby!

  What the fuck?

  I told her to get the morning after pill and sort it out after that night. Silly me!

  “I thought you went to sort it out the next day…”

  Everything comes through my mind like a flash. She’s been on the run since that night. I should have connected the dots. Made sure that everything was in place, she’s been on the run ever since that night.

  Fuck!

  One night changed everything.

  “We need to go. Get in the car,” I open the car door, and she sniffles and hops in. I get into the driver side ready for our escape.

  “You bought this car? When?”

  Shit, that doesn't matter. She doesn’t need to know the technicalities. “When we stop, we can talk. For now, we just need to get out of here.”

  “I didn’t even get to say goodbye,” she sniffles and then she starts to wave at the town that she’s been calling home for the last month.

  “Bye Rosie. Thanks for giving me a home and a job even if it wasn’t for long.”

  She looks at me and says, “Maybe one day I can come back and explain.”

  I don’t want to lie to her. There could be a chance. For now, I’m not sure, so I just spit out, “Maybe.”

  For now, I need to drive and fast, to the secret hideout that I had planned for myself once the job was done. Now, I was going there not only with Maddie but with our unborn baby that was inside her. Nothing was going to plan, and I should have been pissed. But, for some reason, I wasn’t - maybe because for the first time, I was fucking scared.

  Chapter 15: Maddie

  I don’t know how long we were driving; Hunter made it clear that he didn’t want to talk. I had so many questions burning inside of me, but by the same token, I was exhausted. Everything made me want to sleep. Including this long car drive to a place, that I had no idea where we were going. It didn’t feel as if it as important as long as I was with Hunter. Even then I didn’t even know who he was, but I knew that he was the only one that could keep me safe for now.

  “How long have you known?”

  He broke the silence with his question. I knew he was talking about the baby.

  “Officially a week.”

  He nods his head, “Do you know what you want to do with it?”

  I shake my head.

  “No.”

  “I’m an evil man. The type that girls like you should stay away from, let alone have babies with.”

  “No one could be as bad as Spencer.”

  We’re on the freeway and all of a sudden he does some crazy turn. Like a man possessed, I remember the signs from when we were in the hotel. He would be gentle one minute and the next, it was as if he was lost. Just like now. He parks and turns to me.

  “I’ve killed people. A lot of people.”

  “How many?”

  “Does it matter?”

  I nod, somehow the question feels as if it’s so important. Does it mean the difference between having the baby or not?

  “We don’t have enough fingers or toes to count them all.”

  I feel naive as I hang my head and say, “That many.”

  I’m not sure what else to say. I’m a murderer, and then I have to ask about that night. “Was it you that bumped into me when Pedro Alvarez was killed?”

  He nods his head, and I know that I’m in trouble, so I try to get out of the car. “It’s locked. You need to listen and listen well.”

  I’m still trying to get out of the car, but he turns me around so that I can face him. So that I can listen to what he has to say. I just don’t want to; I want to go. Something that I’ve become accustomed to doing. Maybe it started from the moment I left Spencer. Ever since then I’ve had the guts to just pick up my things and move. Something that I could never do in the past.

  “The police are after you. The feds. No one can keep you safe, but me. I’m your only option, and I may have killed a lot of people. But you can see that as a bonus point. It’ll mean more likely; I’ll be able to keep you safe because I’ve been trained to do this sort of thing.”

  “Trained?”“Yes, I was in the army. You’re carrying my baby, so that gives you some brownie points too. We’re going to a safe place. One that I sorted out before coming to see you. This whole fucking thing is a set-up.”

  He’s rambling and closing his eyes at the same time. He was in the army; I wonder why he left. There are so many questions in my mind.

  “For now, I’ll take you to the safe place.”

  It feels as if he’s talking to himself rather than me.

  “Then what?”

  “I’ll figure that out on the drive. We’ll have to change cars one more time. And then we’ll be there. Do you understand?”I nod because I know that he’s not talking about the situation. He’s talking about what we’re supposed to do next. Neither one of us has a clue. I just know that I’m carrying his child and even after he told me that he’s a murderer, I should have been wanting to get rid of it. It just makes me want to keep it even more.

  Maybe our baby can make him change his ways?

  Then again, maybe he was like Spencer after all. The same evil mind, I blurt out, “I don’t like brownies. And there’s no need to tell me the score. It’s clear. I stick with you, I live. I don’t, and I die.”

  “Good, you understood clearly,” get some sleep it’s going to be a long drive.

  I want to close my eyes and have a peaceful sleep, but I keep reliving Spencer’s death over and over again. So, I face the window after I decide that what I see with my eyes wide open is so much better than what I see when my eyes are closed.

  Chapter 16: Hunter

  I hate being in these types of uncertainties when I’m alone. Now, I’ve got the responsibility of an unborn baby and its mom. A dad, me. It just feels like a fucking joke. Most men get to that stage in life when they want a replica of themselves. It makes them feel like a man.

  I’m like that when I kill other’s, not being a dad. That’s not my style. I never thought about having kids let alone a wife. I’m a one-night stand kind of guy. As I stop to change cars, I notice that she’s sleeping. So, I move the gear from one car to the other and think about what I’m going to do about clothes and all the rest of it.

  Shit, it’s doing my head in already, and the kid hasn’t even come along. I’m not ready to be a dad, not now not ever.

  I smile as I see her sleeping. She’s trouble. Big trouble and yet she looks so vulnerable and everything that I’m not attracted to in a woman.

  One that was a victim of her ex and now she’s carrying my child. I don’t even know what to call her. She needs to get rid of it. A replica of me sends a shiver down my spine.

  I lift her up, and she moans a bit, “No. No.”

  She’s having a nightmare, but then she wraps her arms around me, and once again I feel as if I need to protect her like I did that night. The temptation to wake her up creeps up my skin again. I don’t know how I’m going to spend the next few months with her. Just one night feels too long. I put her back into the car, and she didn’t even move as I laid her on the back. I’ll drive slowly so that she doesn’t fall or anything. There I go thinking about her again. Shit, I need to figure out what I’m going to do. This fucking nice guy routine is not working out for me. Not one bit.

  ***

  “Hunter, are you here?” she screams out as she rushes out of the bedroom.

  I nod, “Here,” and then I walk towards her as it’s morning and I couldn’t sleep. I came in and sat down on the sofa and after about two turns got up and went to the nearest Walmart. I wa
s going to tell her, but she was practically dead. I had to stick my finger under her nose to check that she was still breathing. Damn, she can sleep!

  “I thought that you left me,” she wraps her hands around me and then it dawns on me. This is why she’s so sensitive. Her pregnancy hormones must be kicking in. That’s why she’s so delicate and holds on to me as if her life depends on it.

  I have something to tell her. Something that I know, she won’t be able to cope with, but she has no choice. I need to go, and she needs to be alone.

  “Sit down,” I try and peel her hands away from my body. But, it’s damn hard. Her breathing calms down, and then I tell her, “Look you need to sit down. I need to go soon.”

  “Why?”

  This was the part that I was dreading, but it’s the only way that we can be free.

  “Remember the question you asked in the car?”

  “Which one? I asked so many?”

  I was hoping that this was going to be easy, but I can see that it’s going to be tougher than I thought it would be.

  “You asked about how many people I had killed.”

  “That question,” she sighs as her hands are on my legs. I think that if I don’t talk fast, then she’ll have me strapped up and I won’t be able to leave even if I want to.

  “Well, that’s what I’m going to do.”

  She blurts out, “Kill the police. Feds. And anyone involved?”

  I swing my head from side-to-side, when she sums it like that then it sounds a lot worse than it is, but maybe she’s right. Adam was top of my list, but I have a couple of names added to it too. They’re like the pieces of the puzzles. The ones that connect the dots.

  “Spencer was a piece of shit. I don’t want to know the details of why you hooked up. It’s none of my business. He rubbed too many people the wrong way. To say who’s involved in your supposed murder and his death is hard to point out. I know that the guy that sent me to you, he lied.”

  “Was he a friend?”

  She must see the disappointment which is written all over my face. “He owed me.”

  “I see.”

  She didn’t, but I didn’t want to correct her about that. She had a bad boyfriend and thought that she knows about this type of life. She doesn’t.

  “I saw Spencer kill a man once,” she confesses, and the tears start streaming down, so I need to keep this conversation simple. I can’t explain everything to her. Just the important thing.

  “You need to stay here. You can go out. The place has everything you need, and there’s over ten gees in the closet up there.”

  “How long are you going?”

  That’s the hard part to explain.

  “I don’t know. All I know is ‘my friend’ sent me to you and then all of a sudden, both of us are at risk.”

  She asks confused, “Why would he do that?”

  She doesn’t understand my world. It’s never about why, more about who and how to solve it. I quickly change the subject, there’s no point discussing it with her. I have no idea why Adam sent me to her. Maybe he needed confirmation that it was her. I don’t fucking have a clue. I just know that he’s going to pay for it.

  “But it’s a two-bed apartment. Everything’s paid for the next six months. You don’t have to worry about bills or anything.”

  “But, I’ll be alone. Can I go out?”

  “You’re not in the joint. Everything’s new and the bedroom is comfortable, isn’t it?”

  I feel as if I’m talking to a child as I take her hands to comfort her. I can tell that she’s nervous about staying here alone. But she has no choice. Neither do I.

  She takes a deep breath, “It’s a beautiful apartment. When do you think you’ll be back?”

  She had asked me once; I didn’t know the answer five minutes later. I hug her and stroke her the same way I did the first night. “As soon as I can.”

  She pulls back and says, “Then make it sooner.”

  Chapter 17: Maddie

  I was in the heart of the city. Another face among hundreds of people. No one asked who I was because no one cared. I thought about getting a job. I could do with the fake ID that Hunter left for me. I wanted him to make love to me before he went. That was my one request, and as he did, I thought that it would be enough to fill me for a day or two. It lasted all of two hours. Mainly, because that was how long I slept after he had left. I heard him moving, but I didn’t want to get up. I didn’t want to say goodbye.

  Doing that would mean that there was this slightest chance that he never came back. I told him that I wanted to keep the baby.

  It felt crazy at the time, and two weeks later I don’t know if I can do this waiting game any longer. He didn’t tell me how long he was going away, but what if something happened to him? I hardly knew him, and I was having his baby. Mainly, for me than for him. I needed something, and it may have been wrong to bring a child into the world, to have a sense of meaning in life. But knowing that someone so precious was growing inside of me. Made me feel whole again. Something I used to feel when Grandma was alive.

  I went into the Starbucks and ordered a Frappuccino. This was when I knew that my life was going to change. There was talk. I ignored them usually, but as the blonde check-out girl asked, “What would you be having?”

  All I could hear was, “Yeah, that’s a guy from the CIA, FBI and a cop all in one week. Do you think that it’s the Russians?”

  Everyone liked blaming everything bad on the Russians, but this was no coincidence. Three top guys in one week, it had to be Hunter. Or rather I hoped that it had something to do with him.

  “Miss, do you want to order something, there are people waiting?” she starts to panic as the line gets bigger and I stand there frozen in time. I’m listening to the girl next to me. The table in front of me, the same topic and I know that it has something to do with Hunter. I smile at her and say, “No, thanks, I need to go home and wait.”

  She says, “Whatever? Next. Can I help you please?”

  She dismisses me before I’ve even moved. Normally it would bother me; I would think that she was rude and say something. Today isn’t any ordinary day, Hunter was on his way home.

  It was our home for now, and I couldn’t wait for him to get back and put this whole mess behind us once and for all.

  God, really must have heard my prayers last night. Because this was the second time that I had prayed. The first one was for Grandma to live. He never answered, but this one for Hunter to come back. He did, which meant that he was listening. He just never gave me what I needed, but this time he did, and I rushed out of there with only one thing on my mind. Cooking Hunter the meal of a lifetime. Not only for keeping me safe but my unborn baby too.

  ***

  That’s when he walks through the door and says, “It’s done.”

  I smile thinking that everything was in place and we could be free. I should have been happy. Free. But, I didn’t, because I started to feel nervous. Just say it ended up the same way that it did with Spencer. Everything was great at first, but the moment I gave him my heart that was when he started to be abusive and the tables turned.

  As I saw the face that was behind him. The person that was standing behind him. I knew that things this time were going to be different.

  “You didn’t think that I would let you have a baby and not be part of the picture, did you?”

  Lena rushed in and hugged me. I kiss her on the cheeks and pull her back wondering if it’s her or just a fantasy?

  “You’re here?” I ask her through the tears. The ones that I’ve been crying every single night.

  She nods and says, “Yes, things are going to be a bit rough. But, we’ll get through it together.”

  Hunter leaves the room, and I can tell that he’s relieved by the trail of events, “I need a drink.”

  He slams the door shut and heads to the bar.

  “Besides does he have a brother?”

  I think about Hunter’s line of work, an
d the last thing I need is my best friend to be mixed up with Hunter. Or even me?

  “I just don’t think that it’s safe for you to be here.”

  For the first time since Hunter walked through the door, he acknowledges me. He makes me feel safe, by wrapping his arms around me and whispering, “I would never put you in harms way again. It’s safe.”

  Then he kisses me, and somehow I know that it’s a promise. One that he intends to keep. I no longer think of Hunter as the bad boy that I met in the casino. The one that promised me only one night. I think of him as the father of my child, and if he plays his cards right, he may end up as my husband and me as his wife.

  “You got lucky this time.”

  Lena loops her arm into mine, she wants the gossip, the lowdown and more importantly if Hunter’s got a brother. Hunter winks at me. It feels as if he’s blown a thousand kisses in the wind and they’re all heading in my direction.

  I sit down and face Lena. I’ve got a lot to catch up on, later. Much later Hunter and I will go to our room and make love. The same way that we did the first night he left me. Just that I wasn’t the one that was creeping in the middle of the evening. He was, now we have nowhere to creep too. We can fall asleep in each other’s arms. Planning and thinking about tomorrow together. I smile thinking about the fact that for the first time in my life, I have no money. No home, but I couldn’t be happier. It’s funny how things work out. I had painted this picture of how I expected my life to be; it was going to be the complete opposite of the fantasy that I had in my mind. Which meant that it was going to be even better.

  Epilogue: Hunter

  I’m sitting in the hospital waiting room. I feel nervous. There was only one time I sat in a waiting room, and it didn’t end well. My best friend, someone I considered a brother was shot in the line of duty. That was when I decided that I didn’t want to work on the field. I wanted to change my commitment and work for the government, but they had other ideas.