How to Leash a Thief

by Cat Clayton

“Mother, with all due respect, please wait by the jeep. I need to speak with my daughter alone,” he said, his voice steady and calm.

  Wearing a sheepish expression, Gertie padded over to the jeep.

  Cuff returned to my side. Tread lightly. He looks spittin’ mad, Chiquita.

  Pop set his sights on me. “What in God’s name were you thinking?”

  “I was—”

  Pop held up a hand to silence me.

  Cuff tried to intercede. She—

  “Hush. Just listen,” he said. “I can’t believe you started a physical altercation with a damn law enforcement officer. I’m highly disappointed in your behavior.” His words stung. Anger and pain took turns plaguing his tired face.

  I’d let him down. There was no worse shame.

  “I’m sorry, Pop. But he’s been cheating on me!” I said in my defense.

  “Yes, I know. And damn that boy to hell and back, but right now I can’t worry about what he’s doing. I’m too busy keeping your butt out of jail,” he said.

  Cuff whined at my feet.

  “Sorry, Pop,” I said, hanging my head. Good gosh, I was the worst daughter in the world.

  “That girl claims you are harassing her, and she’s insisting on filing a restraining order. You need to stay away from her. You know she’s Mrs. Peacock’s niece, right?” he said.

  Peacock’s niece? Mother trucker. The woman had the means to squash me like a flea, business wise. I’d be lucky to keep Scrubadub open after word got out.

  “You best be on your most pristine behavior from here on out. Understand? They’ve already cautioned you for interfering in an FBI investigation.”

  “Yes, sir.” I tucked my tail, looking down at the ground.

  “I’m going back to the house. You coming?” he asked.

  “I have to go back to the shop. But I’ll be home for supper. I’ll cook.” I’d have to pick up frozen dinners or something equally simple.

  “No, we’re going out for supper. Today, would’ve been your mother’s and my anniversary. I feel like celebrating over a nice, juicy steak. We’ll have dinner at 6:00 PM.” He turned to leave, driving a knife straight through my heart.

  Jeez, I couldn’t have picked a better day to lose my cool in public.

  Gertie waved, telling me she needed a nap, and she and Pop got in his jeep and drove away.

  I stood there shell-shocked, arms dangling at my sides, heart bleeding all over the pavement.

  Don’t be so hard on yourself, Chiquita.

  “Easy for you to say. You didn’t break your father’s heart,” I told Cuff as we loaded into the Bug. We drove back to the shop in silence.

  For once, Cuff had nothing to say.

  “SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! You did what?” Daniel screamed over the blower. He switched it off and the giant ball of fur on the washstand shook, showering me.

  Now, I smelled like a wet dog. Lovely.

  “They detained me at the police department for attacking Nick,” I said. “Who is that under all the fur, anyway? Beulah?” The English sheepdog mix had a ton of fuzzy hair.

  Yes, it’s Beulah! Now tell him what happened! Cuff danced around my feet.

  Daniel’s blue eyes popped out of his head. “When you say attack, you mean verbally, right? Park it and don’t move an inch until you tell me what happened.” He directed me to the stool across the room, hanging the dryer on a hook. Brushing the moppish fuzz on the dog, he said, “Every last juicy detail.”

  Relaxing a bit, I let out a wheezing sigh. I guess the excitement had finally caught up with me. I coughed, trying to catch my breath.

  Cuff jumped up in my lap. Take a puff, Chiquita.

  Thanks, buddy. Digging in my purse, I found my puffer and took a quick, deep inhale. My lungs opened and my breathing eased.

  “Spill it, chica,” Daniel said.

  “Well, I was on my way out to the house to get some things, when I saw Nick and the blonde making out in the parking lot of the station,” I said.

  “Oh my gosh!” Daniel said. With a large oval pin brush, he raked the fur down the length of the dog’s back. Beulah arched her spine under his hand. He was meticulous with his brushstrokes, as if Beulah was a canvas and he the artist.

  “Something inside of me snapped. I saw them kissing and everything turned red. I couldn’t turn it off. So, I let him have it,” I said as I fumbled with Cuff’s collar, finding it difficult to believe only an hour ago my entire world had fallen apart. Went south. Turned to hell in a handbasket, literally.

  Daniel cocked his head sideways, arching his eyebrows. “I may not be an expert on law, but I hardly think arguing in public is a criminal offense. But keep going.”

  “No, but assault is.” I flashed him one of those cheesy, emoji grimaces.

  “Assault?” he asked.

  “Yeah. I sort of hit Nick,” I said.

  What she’s trying to say is she really let him have it! Cuff yipped.

  Daniel studied Cuff, a peculiar glimmer in his eyes. “I swear. Sometimes I think he knows what we’re saying.”

  I do! I do! Cuff yipped again.

  “Steely, how do you sort of hit someone?” Daniel asked.

  I shrugged. “I think hitting is more like punching. Right? This was technically a slap. With nails,” I said.

  “No, I’m sure we can consider a slap hitting. I know you have a Texas-sized temper sometimes, but let’s cut out the violence, please!” he said in almost a squeal.

  Beulah who must’ve thought he was being playful wagged a fluffy tail, her tongue hanging to the side of her smiling muzzle.

  The portable shop phone rang in Daniel’s pocket. He snapped Beulah’s leash to the rail above his head and answered it. “Scrubadub, Three Pups in a Tub, Daniel speaking.” He listened to whoever was on the other line. His mouth gaped open, eying me.

  “Well, there are two sides to every story, Mrs. Peacock,” he said.

  “Mrs. Peacock, in the ballroom, with a dagger,” I whispered.

  You’re quite the comedian, Chiquita.

  Daniel gave me a disapproving look and pulled the phone away from his ear. I heard the woman ranting. He waited patiently for her to finish. “No, ma’am. She’s away from the shop at the moment.” He listened. “Yes, I understand she’s your niece, but—” He stuck his finger in his mouth, pretending to gag himself. “Well, just because she struck Lieutenant Campbell doesn’t mean your niece was in harm’s way. And I’m sure Steely has a reasonable explanation.”

  Not really, except Nick is a two-timing loser.

  Louder yelling bled through the receiver.

  “What?” Daniel threw his hand in the air. “I don’t think a restraining order is necessary.” He did a face-palm. “Oh. At the urgent care clinic? I’m sure his scratches will heal.” Shaking his head, he closed his eyes and listened.

  I squirmed on the stool, dying to hear the other side of the phone conversation. She was really letting him have it. Thank goodness he’d answered the phone and not me.

  This is bad.

  “Yes, I’m positive Ms. Lamarr doesn’t have rabies from working with the dogs.” Daniel rolled his eyes. “I see.” He frowned. “Well, on behalf of Scrubadub, we hope Nick’s recovery is swift, and your niece has nothing to worry about. Thank you for calling.” He disconnected, dropping his chin.

  “Wait, let me guess,” I said. “The old bat wants to know if I gave Nick rabies and if her niece can contract it. Right?” I chuckled.

  That’s funny. Wait, can humans get rabies?

  “This isn’t funny. You insulted one of the most influential people in this town!” Daniel said.

  In my defense, I didn’t know the blonde bimbo was related to her. But she must’ve been the niece Mrs. Peacock was carrying on about a few days ago. Then, like a slap across the face, I remembered. The woman said her niece and I had a lot in common. Did she mean Nick? The thought made my stomach ache.

  “Who cares about the Buckleville Belle’s Society, anyway? Not me,�
� I said.

  “Nearly everyone in town. That’s who! What in the blue blazes were you thinking?” He went back to brushing out Beulah’s coat. “I swear; this is like an episode of Snapped.”

  “I didn’t know she was her niece. It all happened so fast.” I really couldn’t recall what went through my head before I struck Nick. Crazy what rage will do to a person. “And besides, it’s not like I hit her niece or anything. Did she say anything else?”

  He grimaced. “Well, we won’t be grooming Pop-Tart any longer. She’s taking her business elsewhere.” He returned his attention back to Beulah.

  “Don’t worry, Daniel. We’re the only dog groomer in town,” I consoled him. But I knew this was bad, bad news.

  “She says she’ll drive all the way into Houston to have someone else groom her dog besides us.” He refused to look at me. “People will think she wasn’t pleased with my grooming.”

  But this wasn’t about him. It wasn’t even about her niece. No. She was punishing me. For not joining her stupid society, being my mother’s daughter, and well, being me. She probably had some long-time vendetta against Gertie, too. Only I didn’t know about it yet.

  “Don’t worry. We have so many other clients. It’ll be like we never had her.” But I knew better. This had the potential to cause Scrubadub trouble. Big time financial trouble.

  “But don’t you understand? I don’t see them as merely clients. Each one of them is like a masterpiece for me when they leave the shop. I take pride in my work, and I feel you’re making a mockery of it!” he said, sticking out his bottom lip.

  Yeah! Cuff leaped from my lap onto the floor and trotted over to Daniel and sat down. You should kiss the ground he walks on. Cuff blinked at me.

  “Look, Daniel. I’m sorry.” First, I’d let my Pop down and now Daniel. “But it’s not like I set out to do any of this intentionally,” I said.

  Don’t forget about letting your Mama down, too.

  I glared at Cuff. Stomp on me while I’m down, why don’t you?

  Oh, stop your whining. Look at him, Chiquita! He’s a mess!

  Daniel’s eyes clouded with tears. “What if she talks? Huh? Have you thought about that? What if she goes around town, badmouthing us, and we lose all of our customers? Oh gosh, this is worse than I imagined!” He dropped his head in his hands and sobbed.

  Great, Chiquita. Now, you’ve made him cry! Cuff let out a pathetic howl, wailing along with him.

  As I jumped up to comfort Daniel, the front doorbell jingled.

  “Hey, that’s not gonna happen. We’ll fix this. That should be Beulah’s owner. Let me take her up front. You pull yourself together,” I said and handed him a clean towel.

  “Okay,” he said, sniffing and wiping his tears.

  I tied a magenta bandana bow around Beulah’s neck and led her up front. While checking her out, I tried pumping her owner to see if she’d heard about my latest debacle. But if she’d heard any dirt on me, she wasn’t squeaking.

  I headed back to the washroom to find Daniel cleaning up.

  “Fat chance of Mrs. Peacock keeping this juicy news all to herself. She’s vindictive, you know. I’ll bet my cream cashmere scarf, by morning, the entire town will have heard what you did to Nick and her niece,” Daniel said, spritzing a lavender sanitizer around his workstation.

  I shrugged, knowing it was the truth. “Well, try not to worry about it. Hey, we’ve only got paperwork left today. Why don’t you go home early?”

  “Good idea, boss.” Daniel moped to the front, grabbed his things, and headed out the back door.

  Sometimes you should think before you act, Chiquita.

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I told Cuff and retreated to my office to get some bookkeeping done.

  Instead of curling up in his bed on my desk, Cuff sprawled out on the cool linoleum floor, yapping away in my head.

  You know, you should thank your lucky stars you have Daniel.

  He is a good friend.

  He takes care of all the grooming.

  He keeps this place in tip-top shape.

  You should show him more appreciation.

  “Will you stop your hounding and let me get some work done?” I said.

  But Cuff was right. Daniel was my saving grace at the shop. He’d taken over all the grooming, so I could focus on running the place. I owed it to him to fix this mess. If I didn’t stop screwing things up, I’d wind up causing us to lose all of our clients, and then we’d both be out of a job.

  I busied myself filing the stack of invoices piled high on my desk. They were already in alphabetical order. Daniel must’ve started on this mess earlier. It was mindless work, but to get it all ready to transfer to the computer, first we needed some organization.

  When I got to the last invoice, the skin on my arms prickled. Welton’s invoice. My fingers trembled as I scanned the page. What a phony. My instincts had been so off when he came into the shop the other day. One would think since two law enforcement officers raised me, I could detect the truth from a lie. I should’ve been able to see right through him. Instead, I fell for his newcomer-to-town act.

  I picked up Agent Metzger’s business card, studying it.

  Maybe you should verify them with the chief. Just to be sure. Anybody can manufacture biz cards.

  “You’re right. Good idea,” I told him.

  I am full of them.

  I picked up my cell and dialed the station.

  “Buckleville PD, this is Lenora Grace. How may I direct your call?”

  Play this smart, Chiquita.

  “Hi, Lenora. It’s Steely Lamarr. Special Agents Welton and Metzger stopped by the shop earlier and asked me a few questions. So, I’m checking to see... I mean, I’m making sure they’re working with y’all.”

  Lenora cleared her throat. “One second, dear.” I heard Lenora cover the phone with her hand and then the sound of her muffled voice, although I couldn’t make out what she was saying. After a few seconds, she came back on the line.

  “Ms. Lamarr, I can assure you everything is good. Special Agent Metzger arrived early this week from the Federal Bureau of Investigation out of Houston. Agent Welton was already here in town. They’ve teamed up and are working together with our department,” she said.

  Interesting. “I see,” I said.

  “Anything else I can help you with?” she asked.

  “Do you know if they’ve found out anything about the black Buick that had been following me? And what about the break-in here at the shop? How come nobody has called to let me know anything? I’m not sure why I’m being left in the dark about all this, but two of the crimes happened here on my property. I’m certain—”

  “Sorry to interrupt you, Ms. Lamarr, but I’m afraid I’m unable to answer your questions. If you’d like, I can leave a message for someone on the case,” she said.

  “No, never mind. Thank you,” I said.

  “Well, good afternoon, Ms. Lamarr,” she said and disconnected the call.

  Something niggled at the back of my mind. I was curious why Welton hadn’t arrived with Agent Metzger. Why had he come to Buckleville alone? It seemed odd. Maybe the case was bigger than they’d first suspected and the FBI had sent out another agent to assist him.

  As I switched off the computer, my cell phone buzzed. It danced across my desk. I picked it up and swiped it open to answer the unknown caller.

  “Hello?” I said.

  Hollow silence.

  “Hello?” I said again.

  Muffled breathing. Someone was definitely there, toying with me.

  “Helloooo! Anyone there?” I asked, giving the caller one last chance to answer me.

  Cuff popped his head up, cocking it sideways as he watched me. I am getting a bad feeling about this. I think you should hang up, Chiquita.

  Curiosity got the best of me, so I stayed on the line despite Cuff’s doggy intuition.

  “Okay then, I’m hanging up,” I said, trying to sound brave.

  “I told you
to keep out of this. Now, you’re gonna get it!” a garbled, hoarse voice whispered and then the phone went dead.

  As if it were on fire, I dropped the phone on my desk. It bounced once on its rubber cover and landed face up. A selfie of me and Cuff on the home screen stared back at me.

  “What the heck is going on around here?” I shivered and picked up my phone like it had cooties and tossed it into my bag.

  You got another death threat, Chiquita.

  “Ya think?” I said.

  This is serious!

  A tidal wave of fear crashed over me. Cuff was right, again. The four walls of the office closed in on me, reality setting in. The voice sounded an awful lot like Mr. Peters’. Old, grumpy, and mean.

  Chapter 20

  I kept my pie-hole shut about the threatening phone call during supper celebrating what would’ve been Mama and Pop’s wedding anniversary. Pop didn’t need more bad news. He had enough on his plate. Except for Gertie spilling her sweet tea all over the waiter and flipping a cherry tomato from her salad plate across the room, dinner ended without a hiccup.

  After we devoured mouthwatering steaks, loaded baked potatoes, and salads, I announced I had paperwork to finish at Scrubadub. But I had no intention of going to the shop to work on it. Truth was, I couldn’t bear hearing Pop’s heavy sighs any longer. I needed fresh air to clear my guilt and collect my thoughts.

  As Cuff and I drove down Main Street, he stuck his head out the window, his little ears flapping in the breeze. Downtown was deserted, except for a few business owners closing their shops. Near dusk, the heat of the day subsided, making it almost bearable to be outdoors. I pulled over to the curb, parked, and grabbed an old quilt from the trunk. Cuff and I strolled over to the edge of the small, man-made pond. Spreading the quilt on the ground, I pulled off my boots and socks and relaxed.

  Cuff chased a mother goose and five tiny goslings to the edge of the water. If mama goose had any smarts, she would’ve turned the tables and chased him. She doubled, maybe even tripled his weight. In a panic, the geese plunged into the water, paddling to the center. They were safe. Cuff didn’t like to get his feet wet. Instead, he raced up and down the grassy bank, barking his head off.