Saved by Their Miracle Baby

by Alison Roberts

  ‘We’re completely out of anything to drink. Beer or wine.’ Hugh sounded disappointed. ‘And it’s the first night that Amy’s gone to sleep early enough for us to have dinner together properly.’

  ‘There’s an off-licence five minutes away,’ Lisa told him. ‘Go and get something. We can keep the food warm. It’s Friday night and Abby looks like she could do with a glass of wine.’

  But Abby shook her head. ‘Not for me, thanks.’

  ‘Not even some bubbles?’ Hugh was grinning as he reached out to touch Abby’s forehead. ‘You’re not coming down with something, are you?’

  ‘Go,’ Lisa ordered. ‘The sooner you’re back, the sooner we can eat.’

  ‘Don’t bother keeping the peas warm,’ Abby said as Lisa collected the containers to put in the oven. ‘I don’t think I’m even hungry any more. Maybe I’ll go home and let you and Hugh have a romantic evening together. You never know, you might get enough time for more than dinner.’

  ‘Are you kidding?’ Lisa flopped back into her chair and closed her eyes. ‘I’m too tired to even think about sex these days. I have no idea how people get round to having a second child.’

  Abby smiled but it was her turn to frown. Was she doing enough to help her sister in this happy but stressful time with a new baby? Because she was focused on Lisa’s face she saw the moment her eyes suddenly opened again to glance at the pot of mushy peas and then catch Abby’s gaze. She also saw the expression of something like alarm.

  ‘You’re not pregnant, are you? That could be why you’ve suddenly gone off something.’

  ‘Of course not. Don’t be daft.’

  ‘Well...it’s not as if it’s not possible. You’re the one who’s getting some action in that “good friendship” of yours.’ Lisa used her fingers to create quotation marks.

  Abby glared at her. She didn’t like her sex life being referred to as nothing more than a bit of “action”, even if that was exactly what it was supposed to be. ‘I’m not stupid, Lise. We’ve always used condoms.’

  ‘Not that supply from your bathroom cupboard, I hope.’

  Abby’s glare deepened. What on earth was Lisa referring to now? And they’d only used hers the first time, anyway.

  Lisa shrugged. ‘Hey, it’s not my fault they fell off the shelf when I needed some dental floss. And I’m a nurse, remember. I’m trained to notice expiry dates. Those condoms of yours expired way before you even moved into that apartment.’

  They had been around for a long time. Because they’d never been used. But Abby shook her head. ‘It wouldn’t make any difference. We all know some things last way beyond expiry dates.’

  ‘And we all know some things can fail occasionally.’ Lisa’s voice was quiet now. ‘I’ve got some pregnancy test kits somewhere in my bathroom cupboard. Maybe you should take one home with you. Just in case. And you don’t need to worry, I’m not about to say anything to Hugh.’

  * * *

  She didn’t need to worry?

  She’d thought that rumours of how far their friendship had gone would be the last thing Noah would want?

  How wrong was it possible for someone to be?

  Back home in her own apartment later that evening, in the privacy of her own bathroom, Abby was staring at what she held in her hands. At the tiny plastic window that was showing two distinct lines. At the helpful print beside the window that had an image of a single line beside the words “Not Pregnant” and one of the double lines with that single word “Pregnant” beside it.

  A word that was sounding repeatedly in Abby’s head right now. Like a bell. One with a tone that was deep enough to sound menacing. She had no idea how long she sat there listening to it before making the effort to move, taking the evidence of what she’d just discovered so that she could hide it in the kitchen rubbish bin. She was shaking her head as she went.

  She’d known that losing her virginity might change her life.

  A sound like wry laughter escaped her lips as she reached the kitchen.

  She hadn’t been wrong, had she? Neither had Lisa. Her sister had been more right than she’d realised when she’d told her she needed to be careful about what she wished for when Abby had said she thought she wanted a baby, although admitting that was not going to give either of them any kind of satisfaction.

  And as for telling Noah...

  Well... Abby couldn’t even begin to think about that. At least she had a whole weekend to start trying to get her head around this before she had to go back to work. Probably even longer before she was breathing the same air as Noah, but it wouldn’t be long enough. She was never going to be ready to deliver news that she knew would be devastating for him. He had trusted that, even though they had carried on for longer than intended, what they had was no more than a temporary arrangement. Friends helping each other out as a favour so that they would both know it was possible to move into a new stage of their lives when the time was right.

  That time was not now.

  Not for Abby and most definitely not for Noah.

  CHAPTER SIX

  IT SEEMED THAT the more you looked for excuses, the easier it became to find them, but the point at which it became obvious that something was being avoided was inevitably going to arrive. And there was only so long you could put off doing something that you knew had to be done, no matter how hard you knew it was going to be.

  It was no big deal to avoid seeing Noah that next week. All Abby needed to do was to say she was too busy to go to basketball training, which was partly true because she’d been tasked with starting an update on all the information pamphlets that the hand clinic made available for their patients. Currently, she was working on an activity list for people recovering from injury or surgery on their hands so that they would know what was permissible when instructed to keep to light or moderate activities, as well as the information given to people facing surgery for carpal tunnel syndrome.

  Abby had convinced herself that there was no great urgency in telling Noah. She’d only done a home test and even Lisa had said that she should not only repeat it but have a more definitive blood test done.

  She also needed more information before she would be able to answer the questions that Noah would undoubtedly have—like how far along in her pregnancy she was. Abby had no idea, but if she was at a really early stage, she might have to consider whether or not she needed to tell him at all, given his tragic history and how this could affect him. It was obviously going to affect their friendship and, while it was new, it was something that Abby didn’t want to lose.

  The possibility that she might decide she simply wasn’t ready for parenthood because of her age or career or disability or the fact that she was lacking a life partner might be something she didn’t want to consider yet but it would have to be faced soon. Time was not her friend right now.

  She could legitimately claim that she was too busy treating a patient to stop and talk to Noah on an occasion when he happened to visit the clinic in the days before the appointment she had booked. She knew that he’d been told that she was at a doctor’s appointment the following week when she’d missed the team meeting about new patients but she also knew that none of her colleagues had any idea that her appointment was with an obstetrician rather than any of the more usual members of the medical team that had looked after her for most of her life.

  It was, therefore, more than a little disconcerting to find Noah, with a worried frown on his face, at the door of her office later that same afternoon. As she stared at him, unable to find a smile, he came inside and closed the door behind him.

  ‘I just came to check that you’re okay,’ he said. ‘You missed the team meeting.’

  ‘I’m fine,’ Abby told him. Which was true. Pregnancy wasn’t an illness, after all, and she had an echo in the back of her mind reminding her that being less than truthful was far more convincing if at least a part
of it was accurate.

  ‘But you had a doctor’s appointment today.’

  ‘Just a check-up.’ Abby turned to rearrange the papers on her desk. The element of truth thing might be forgivable when you were trying to pass off a store-bought meal as home cooking but she was running out of excuses now. She had all the information she needed.

  And Noah needed to know the real truth. Even if she was still having trouble processing everything she had learned today herself. In a way, it was a relief that she was already past the point where an option to make this all disappear would have been relatively straightforward but that was shocking in itself because she was that much closer to her life changing for ever. To becoming a mother...

  ‘I have something for you,’ Noah said.

  Abby tried to smile as she took the manila folder from his hand. She had something for him as well but, for the life of her, she couldn’t find the words she needed to drop the bombshell that his life was also about to change for ever. She couldn’t find the courage to deliver those words either. Maybe that was because work was definitely not the right place? With an inward sigh of relief, she focused on the distraction immediately at hand.

  ‘Oh...these are the photos we talked about a couple of weeks ago.’ When everything had been as it should be in her world. Better than that, in fact. She’d had it all. Her wonderful job and apartment. A demanding sport to keep her fit. A new niece to treasure and a new friendship that was so special it was also something to be treasured.

  ‘We had a carpal tunnel day surgery session this morning. I had someone from Medical Illustrations come up and take the photos of the endoscopic procedure, which is what the majority of patients will have here now. I’d only consider open surgery if there’s a tumour or some other growth to deal with. Or scar tissue from a previous injury or surgery perhaps.’

  Abby nodded. She was sifting through papers on her desk to find the relevant pamphlet she’d been tweaking.

  ‘Have you got a minute to check some of the text I’ve changed? Oh...and I wondered about using a different anatomical diagram to identify the ligament that gets cut.’

  ‘That diagram is fine,’ Noah said, as he pulled a chair closer and sat down beside Abby. ‘But I’d label it the transverse carpal ligament rather than the flexor retinaculum. This information is intended for laypeople, yes?’

  ‘Mmm...’ The word “information” was reminding Abby of what she had to share and she bit her bottom lip as she watched Noah scanning the rest of the text in the updated pamphlet. This wasn’t an appropriate time. Not that there was ever going to be a good time but Noah, especially, was someone who preferred to keep his personal and professional lives completely separate. She couldn’t say anything. Not here. Not now.

  ‘That’s a good description of endoscopic surgery, saying that there’s a tiny camera through one cut and the other one is used to guide the instrument that cuts the ligament. One of today’s photos will be ideal to go with that paragraph. I’d add in a bit about it only needing local anaesthetic and it being a day procedure.’

  ‘What about risks?’

  ‘I can give you some percentage data. Basically, there’s more risk of nerve damage with an endoscopic procedure rather than open surgery but it’s almost always temporary and recovery time is less. On average, people are back at work about nine days sooner. And there’s much less risk of scar tenderness.’

  ‘I won’t go into too much detail. That’s something patients can discuss with their surgeons. It’ll vary so much between cases anyway—like how much time they’re going to need off work. I’ve said it can be anything from one to eight weeks depending on whether it’s a dominant hand and how much repetitive manual work is required.’

  Abby was about to point out one of the introductory paragraphs of the pamphlet where there was information about the non-surgical treatment of carpal tunnel syndrome, such as steroid injections, splints and ultrasound, that would be tried for some time before surgery was considered, when she became aware that she was being watched. Closely.

  ‘Are you sure you’re okay, Abby? You do look a bit pale.’

  ‘Do I?’

  ‘Mmm. And, I may be wrong, but it feels as if you’ve been avoiding me lately. Have I said something to upset you?’

  ‘No...not at all...’

  ‘Then what is it? You can tell me, you know. We’re friends, aren’t we?’

  Oh, boy...being under the intense gaze of those dark, dark eyes was doing something weird to Abby’s stomach. As if the butterflies that came with sexual attraction were being buffeted by powerful currents generated by a churning sensation that could well become nausea. It was unbearable, in fact, and the words that Abby had been finding impossible to form suddenly came rushing from her throat into her mouth and beyond with such force that it was astonishing they escaped as no more than a whisper.

  ‘I’m pregnant...’

  They were so close. She could see the moment that Noah’s brain processed her words. She could see the shaft of shock and then pain that followed almost instantly. Was he remembering the last time someone had told him he was going to become a father? The joy that had become such an unbearable tragedy a few months later?

  She was doing this to him. She was causing this pain and Abby hated herself for it. More than that, she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around Noah so that she could do her best to absorb that pain for him. To protect him. To promise that she would do anything to try and help.

  And it was in that moment that Abby realised just how much she loved Noah. This wasn’t the kind of love that came from friendship—even one that happened to include some pretty amazing sex. It certainly didn’t come from a transitory crush. This was the kind of love that came from a place that included the permanence of family. From caring so much about someone that you would choose to spend the rest of your life with them.

  This was about being in love.

  And it was heartbreaking because she could see so clearly what she had known all along—that there was no way Noah was ever going to feel the same way about her. He was looking so shocked right now.

  Appalled, even...

  ‘But...we were careful...’

  Abby closed her eyes. ‘It might have been that first time. My secret stash had been in the cupboard for a long time. Years. I’m so sorry... It didn’t occur to me that they might have gone so far past their expiry date—’

  ‘The first time?’ Noah had clearly only heard her first sentence. ‘But...but that’s more than two months ago.’

  ‘I had a scan this afternoon,’ Abby admitted. ‘It looks like I’m into my second trimester so it would fit. I’m a bit over thirteen weeks.’

  Noah was looking at her now as if she’d stepped into this room from another planet.

  ‘I had some spotting,’ she told him. ‘My period’s usually light and my cycle’s not that regular anyway. It didn’t even occur to me until...’

  Until Lisa had wondered why she’d thought the mushy peas looked so horrible...

  But she couldn’t say that. Because it reminded her of the night that Noah had been there to share a takeaway dinner on his first day working at St John’s and he’d joked that she was into healthy food. The night that connection with their passion for their work and their friendship had been born. A friendship that had rapidly led to a whole lot more and was now tumbling down around them into such a total disaster that Abby knew she was about to burst into tears.

  Noah looked just as upset. He was as white as a sheet and the pamphlet he’d been holding was slipping from his hand to hit the floor and slide towards Abby’s wheelchair.

  It was the knock on her door that broke that awful moment as they stared at each other with neither of them knowing what to say next. Abby ducked, to hide her face from whoever was about to come into her office, holding onto her wheel so that she could lean down far en
ough to pick up that pamphlet.

  ‘Ah... I’m so glad you’re still here, Noah.’ It was Alex, the orthopaedic registrar. ‘I couldn’t borrow your expertise for a second opinion, could I? I’ve got a chap in my clinic outpatients and he’s got a post-surgical complication. A wound breakdown that I don’t like the look of at all.’

  As Abby straightened, she could see the effort that it took for Noah to replace something intensely personal with the mantle of professionalism. She could see the remnants of that private pain being swept from his face and replaced by a mask that would reveal nothing before he turned towards the door.

  ‘Of course, Alex.’ Only Abby would notice the extra effort that went into pushing himself to his feet—as if even that ordinary action was physically painful. ‘Your timing is perfect, in fact. Abby and I have finished our discussion for the moment, haven’t we?’

  He didn’t wait for a response or even look at her as he joined Alex at the door and then disappeared down the corridor. He was right, of course. There would be plenty of time to discuss other things in the weeks and months to come.

  Clearly, Noah had already heard a lot more than he wanted to for now. Abby didn’t realise she had been holding her breath until it came out in a long sigh. At least the first step had been taken and she had told him. She knew it would have brought back terrible memories for him and that he was hurting but this would be the worst of it, surely? When he’d had time to get over the shock, they could talk again. In the meantime, Abby needed someone else to talk to.

  Her big sister. The closest thing to a mother she’d ever had, in fact. Lisa had been six years old when Abby was born and right from the start she’d been her guardian. After her accident, Lisa had pretty much centred her life around her younger sister. It was time to tell her everything because she really needed to be with someone who would be on her side. Who loved her unconditionally, as much as she loved them.