Dangerously Big

by Cleo Peitsche

  “I help myself,” I say. “And anyway, you can’t help me. You won’t.”

  “Do you even know what that would look like?” he asks. His piercing gaze seems to be prying at the edges of my facade.

  “Yes, I do,” I say.

  “And?” he prompts.

  “I need money. So I can disappear. Don’t suppose you’re going to give me some seed money to properly reinvent myself, are you?”

  “And that will solve your problem.”

  “Absolutely.” I smile. “Indubitably.”

  He doesn’t smile. “I don’t believe that, Lindsay. And deep down, I think you know better, too. Why did that man abduct you?”

  There it is. The direct question that’s surely been tormenting him ever since last night.

  “If I had money, he never would have located me.”

  Hawthorne laughs and shakes his head in disbelief. “What do you want from me?”

  “Buy me…”

  One of his eyebrows rises.

  “Buy me a new start, a new life,” I challenge him. My heart beats faster because I know he could make it happen. “Please, Hawthorne.”

  His face goes blank. “It doesn’t seem to me that new starts are working for you all that well. How many times have you started over? How many people have you been?”

  I shrug. “I’m always Lindsay.”

  “You’re never Lindsay.” He turns and walks away, and all the fight just drains out of me.

  After the door closes, I ask, “Why do you even care?”

  But the silent room doesn’t offer any clues.

  Chapter 11

  The next morning I’m early to the office. I have no idea when Hawthorne will be in, but I don’t want him to do something sneaky like swing by when I’m not there and then vanish for a week.

  Luckily, I don’t have long to wait before one of the receptionists buzzes my desk to let me know that he just arrived, and I practically run down to catch him before he can disappear.

  His mouth in a firm line, Hawthorne motions for me to follow him into a small, unused office. He closes the door.

  “You have my key?”

  He retrieves it from his pocket and holds it out.

  When I reach to take it, he raises his hand. “Not so fast,” he says.

  “You can’t hold my car hostage,” I point out. Thirty seconds and he’s already making me crazy.

  “Romeo and Slade won’t want you to leave,” he says. As he speaks, his eyes stare into mine. The morning light, shining through the window, makes it easy to see the gold flecks in his blue irises.

  “They’ll be fine,” I say.

  “You do good work.” His jaw clenches. “You’re…”

  “Hawthorne Tarraget, are you saying that you don’t want me to leave?” I ask. I’m only teasing him, but then his gaze cuts away, then back. The wounded expression on his face practically drives the breath from my chest.

  “That’s also correct,” he says. He clears his throat. “I don’t want you to go.” It seems like he could say more, but apparently he’s done because he hands me the key.

  I curl my fingers around it, my ticket to safety. “You don’t want me to leave because I do good work?” I ask.

  “And because my friends are very fond of you.” He smiles. “You’re growing on me, too.”

  “Like a fungus?”

  “We’d have to consult a mycologist.” His smile fades. “I wish you’d let us help you. You don’t have to tell everyone your business, but you should tell someone.”

  “I’ve got Bandit,” I say.

  “Tell someone who can help.”

  “If I thought someone could help me, I would. To be honest…” I trail off as I reconsider what I was about to say.

  “To be honest?” he prods.

  I purse my lips, then exhale, puffing out my cheeks. “I thought I would be safe here. But it’s not safe anymore.” How can I possibly explain who and what my grandfather really is?

  “So rather than allow someone to help you, you’re going to take off.”

  “As I said last night.”

  “Would you consider talking to Romeo before you go? He’s trustworthy, and in any event, he deserves to know what’s happening. He’s had a rough year, Lindsay. Don’t just disappear on him. Slade is resilient, and I’m an asshole—”

  “Jesus. Can I get that in writing?”

  “If you stay, I’ll have it inscribed on a plaque that you can hang in your living room.” His eyes penetrate mine. “Consider talking to Romeo.”

  My stomach twists, and I nod. “I will.”

  “That wasn’t convincing. You used to be a better liar.” Hawthorne extends his hand. “It’s been nice knowing you, Lindsay. I hope you find both what you want and what you need.”

  The handshake is weirdly formal considering how many ways this man has fucked me, but Hawthorne and I aren’t the type to hug our goodbyes.

  It’s a shame, because I could really use a hug right now.

  He turns to leave, but I lightly touch his sleeve. “Wait. I have a question for you. If you weren’t planning to blackmail me, why did you lie to Romeo and Slade?”

  “Several reasons. For one, I figured I’d try a different tactic with you instead of starting another fight.”

  I blink. “Thank you,” I say, and I mean it. “So you know, I wasn’t trying to steal money from your uncle.”

  He glances at the clock on the wall. “I’m late for a meeting.”

  I watch him go, and I try to burn the memory of his scent into my brain. Despite the fact that he’s always been such a pain in the ass, I’ll miss him.

  ~ ~ ~

  I’m feeling unsettled as I make my way toward Romeo’s office. Tamara, his assistant, is at her station.

  “Is he…” Unable to trust my voice, I point at the closed door.

  “In the big conference room,” Tamara says. “Are you ok?”

  I nod.

  “It’s awful what happened to you the other night,” she says. “You’re brave for even coming in today.”

  The big conference room is the one on the corner with two glass sides, and as I near, I see Romeo inside.

  His brow is furrowed in concentration, and he looks upset about something in the pile of documents spread out in front of him. The other people in the meeting don’t seem as concerned, and I wonder why he can’t seem to relax.

  I watch as he flips a few papers over, then he asks for something. Sharon slides a paper down to him, and he skims it, then reads something aloud.

  I can’t help but smile as I watch him. This is how I want to remember Romeo. Competent. Surrounded by people who respect him.

  Also, not yelling at me for leaving.

  Technically I kept my promise to Hawthorne. I considered talking to Romeo. Maybe, if he weren’t busy… But he is.

  And I have an apartment to fit into a suitcase, a safe deposit box to empty, unexplored highway to travel to my next adventure, whatever it may be.

  I start to turn, then take one last look at Romeo.

  The woman who gets that man… I hate her, whoever she is, but I’m grateful if she can make him happy. He deserves that.

  Chapter 12

  My car is in the garage, as promised. I slide behind the wheel and start the engine.

  The gas tank is full. Hawthorne must have topped it off. Kidnapper Joe wouldn’t have bothered if he planned to dump the car.

  My first stop is the apartment. I flirt with the security guard, tell him I’m worried that my ex is hiding in my closet. In the end, it’s not difficult to convince him to come up with me.

  My apartment is empty, and I see no proof that Kidnapper Joe or anyone else was inside.

  Bandit follows me around, his quiet meows like plaintive entreaties, telling me to stay, that I haven’t exhausted all my options yet.

  He would say that. He’s a cat, and he likes his routine, likes the windows and the warm sun. I liked my routine, too, my job, my secret dallianc
es with the bosses.

  “Nothing lasts forever,” I tell him. He sits and stares reproachfully at me.

  I don’t have suitcases; they were abandoned when I fled the last place. So I fill up a few trash bags with my stuff.

  It has to be said that expensive clothing in trash bags still looks expensive. It just feels sacrilegious.

  My stilettos immediately want to punch holes through the plastic, but I do my best.

  Even with the new stuff for Bandit, everything I own fits easily into my trunk.

  I make two trips down, then come back up to put Bandit in his carrier. Before I zip the top closed, I stroke his soft fur.

  He looks up at me and meows.

  “Hey, I warned you that life with me would suck,” I tell him. Carefully, I close the top and slide the carrier’s strap over my shoulder.

  ~ ~ ~

  Twenty minutes at the bank, and I’ve cleaned out my safe deposit box.

  That’s it. I’m done. I’ve got everything I need in my car. I’ve got a full tank of gas.

  All I have to do is pick a direction and start driving.

  As I wind through the familiar roads en route to the highway, I try not to think about the fact that I didn’t get to see Slade one last time.

  Maybe it’s just as well. What the four of us were doing… It was surely destined for disaster, for heartbreak.

  I get onto the highway, and as the road spools behind me, I admit that I had a narrow escape.

  The truth is that I was falling for them. For Slade, yeah. That was obvious even to me. And for Romeo. How could I not?

  Even Hawthorne was growing on me. Under different circumstances, if we hadn’t gotten off to such an awful start…

  My phone rings, and I look over to see the vibrating photo of a cactus wearing a sombrero.

  I’m reaching for it even before I know what I’m doing, but I stop just shy of answering.

  Clean break. That’s the only way.

  A moment later, a text buzzes. The road is empty this time of day, and I glance at Hawthorne’s message. In the glove box and under the seat. You won’t accept the help you need, so there’s the help you want.

  One hand steady on the wheel, I lean over and pop open the glove box.

  Inside is a plastic bag, tightly wrapped around something rectangular. I strongly suspect that I know what it is, and when I tug it out, my guess is confirmed.

  Money.

  Crisp hundred dollar bills, each compact packet belted with a label that says $10,000.

  I lean forward and probe under my seat, and my fingers touch more plastic.

  At the first rest stop, I pull off. There’s a secluded area near the edge of the lot, and I park there, angled so that I can make a quick getaway if I need to.

  My hands shaking, I start to count the stacks.

  It’s a lot of money.

  Enough to make myself a new life somewhere.

  I stuff them into my oversized shoulder bag, then get out of the car. Kneeling on the ground, I sweep my arm under the seat to make sure I have it all. Then I check the other side of the car. Thirty stacks total. $300,000.

  That can’t be a coincidence.

  I honestly don’t know what to think.

  Obviously I should thank Hawthorne, but I’m afraid to call. He might already know that I didn’t talk to Romeo, and I don’t want a lecture.

  So I send a text back. Thank you. I’ll repay every cent.

  He doesn’t reply, and to my shame, I’m relieved.

  ~ ~ ~

  That night I take a room in a mid-budget hotel that advertises itself as dog friendly. Nothing about cats, so I sneak Bandit in. He seems to understand how important it is to stay quiet.

  I’m still wearing the same clothes from the day before, so I shower and change into Romeo’s T-shirt. It doesn’t smell like him, or like much of anything, but wearing it soothes my soul.

  I lie on top of the covers and look through my email on my phone.

  No one has contacted me since Hawthorne’s text in the morning.

  Maybe I’m over-thinking things, but I find it weird that they haven’t tried to reach me. Even if Romeo is mad, which I can very well imagine, Slade should have said… something.

  I try to see it from their perspective. Who am I except a sexually open-minded woman who came into their lives, caused some trouble, and then disappeared?

  But still.

  Bandit jumps on the bed, and I’m amazed at how lightly he lands. He picks his way over to me, then settles in close.

  “You don’t think I’m a horrible person, do you?” I ask.

  Of course he doesn’t. It’s his job to love me and to shed hair everywhere.

  It occurs to me that for all his general awfulness, Hawthorne really did help out when I needed it.

  All the more reason not to get him, or any of them, involved in my mess.

  So I’m glad no one has called. Right?

  I sit up and pull out the map I bought at a gas station. I’ve been going south, but I find myself tracing a route to the northeast.

  What if Hawthorne is right? What if it’s time to try something besides running?

  “What do you think, Bandit?” I ask.

  He’s too busy purring to reply.

  In the end, it’s a decision only I can make, but I think it’s time to go home. Time to see my sister, even if only to say goodbye.

  ~ ~ ~

  Curious about Cleo? Swing by my blog for the latest news, to join the mailing list or to contact me.

  http://cleopeitsche.wordpress.com/

  Or click here to go directly to my New Releases mailing list. (Note: I love releasing books at a temporary lower price to thank my readers, so if you want in on that, sign up!)

  Please visit your favorite online bookstore for these and many other stories!

  OFFICE TOY (Office Toy #1)

  Elle’s job interview starts with Cunningham throwing away her cheap clothes and sending his assistant to buy new outfits. He’s got her naked, so of course he’ll lay her out on the conference table and claim her mouth. Soon Elle is trussed up, all of her holes stretched full while three hot men have their wicked way.

  She loves her first tastes of liberated, naughty sex. But she’d better not start falling for her boss—no matter how safe he makes her feel—because while office sex is encouraged, romance is strictly forbidden.

  CARELESS (After Forever/Bisexual Billionaire Trilogy #1. Box set now available!)

  After being forced out of his company, Nelson returns home a billionaire with a hole in his life. When he meets Kimberly and Samuel, he decides he’ll have them both.

  But Kimberly and Samuel aren’t a couple, and Samuel’s the one holding things up. He hasn’t dated a woman in five years, and even though it’s plain he loves Kimberly, he agrees to Nelson’s threesome on the condition that it be only one night.

  Kimberly would marry Samuel in an instant if he asked. He’s just not interested. But a single night to satisfy her curiosity is better than never knowing Samuel’s kiss.

  There’s no way for Nelson, Samuel and Kimberly to all get what they want, and one careless moment of weakness carries the power to destroy everything.

  TRAPPED BY A DANGEROUS MAN (By a Dangerous Man #1)

  What does she owe to the man who saved her life?

  Despite growing up a bounty hunter, being taken seriously is a constant struggle for 24-year-old Audrey Stroop. When she stumbles across information on Corbin Lagos, she recognizes the chance of a lifetime.

  One blizzard and a car accident later, she wakes up in gorgeous Corbin’s bed. She doesn’t know how he’ll react if he discovers that the woman he rescued intends to haul him in. She also can’t fight her attraction to him.

  He’s nothing like the men she typically seduces and discards. He’s dominant. He’s dangerous. And he’s going to explode her life into a million tiny pieces.

  TOUCHING PARADISE (The Shark Shifter Paranormal Romance #1)

&nb
sp; Despite his billions in the bank, Koenraad is a shark shapeshifter haunted by secrets and regrets. Unable to move on with his life, he relentlessly patrols the waters near the island he once considered home. Fate puts the beautiful Monroe in his path, and duty demands he offer his services, but one look into her eyes and he knows the lonely, frightened woman secretly yearns for adventure.

  Monroe is having a hard time getting into the vacation spirit. She’s surrounded by powdery white sand and swaying palm trees, but she’s terrified of the ocean. When her tour boat breaks down at sea, she’s thrilled to skip the so-called trip of a lifetime. However, a gorgeous man with a sleek yacht is determined to change her mind… and maybe her life.

  SLEEPING LADY (Fantasy Playland #1—Box set now available!)

  Georgia is broke, and she can’t resist the ad in the paper: “Women with low libido needed for sex theme park.” Never mind that as someone who masturbates several times a day, she hardly qualifies … she needs money, and she’ll do anything to get it.

  But first she has to pass the audition. All she has to do is pretend to sleep while the sexiest man she’s ever seen uses her however he pleases.

  USE ME HARD (Standalone story, but is included in the Take Me Hard compilation)

  Even before Alyssa meets Eric at a party, she knows all about him. That he likes to tie up submissives, that he has a dungeon somewhere, and that he breaks more hearts in three months than most guys do their whole lives. As far as she's concerned, Eric is just another rich playboy, and though part of her craves him, Alyssa knows men like him are good for one thing: nothing!