The Trouble with Christmas

by Kaira Rouda

  James walked to the bar to get Cole’s drink and Avery disappeared. It was just him and Lily, and some incredible currents that ran between them. Cole wondered if she could feel the tension also, even as he mentally kicked himself for being so stupid. She might not be engaged to James, but she was engaged. Taken.

  “Show me your favorite ornament,” he said, a lame attempt at conversation.

  “Oh, um, since they’re not really mine, I don’t have a favorite. I just had fun helping Aves,” she answered, her long eyelashes masked her gorgeous brown eyes. Cole could almost imagine touching her face as he breathed in the scent of her perfume.

  James handed him his drink and moved in between him and Lily.

  “James, can you and Jessica help me in the kitchen?” Avery said, “We’ll be back in a few minutes. Have a seat you two.”

  James narrowed his eyes at Cole, but escorted his sister and Jessica from the room.

  Lily walked over to the oversized leather chairs and perched on the edge of one. Cole sat down in the chair next to hers. He noticed with a start that she was not wearing the engagement ring. He wasn’t sure what that meant, but he couldn’t help by feel a smile start inside.

  “Tell me why you bought a restaurant,” Lily said the light from the fireplace danced across her face and highlighted the golden flecks in her brown eyes.

  “Well, it’s sort of a long story.”

  “I have time,” Lily said, smiling softly, encouraging him.

  “I purchased it to help Sally Ann,” he said slowly, wishing he could explain it to her so that it made sense. Even his family hadn’t really understood his sense of guilt and responsibility. “She was in trouble, thanks to her nephew’s embezzlement. I thought I could make a difference. I thought I had business savvy. In my previous life, I was an investment banker, living a lot like this,” Cole said, sweeping his arms to encompass the grand library and all its opulence. “But I ruined so many lives simply caring about the bottom line.”

  “You worked too hard?” She asked.

  “Definitely.”

  “But how could you possibly ruin lives by working hard to help grow people’s investments?” She asked softly.

  He took a deep drink and stared into the fire.

  “I did.”

  The silence stretched between them, but instead of being uncomfortable, he felt himself relaxing. She had such a soothing presence. So kind. He could change her sympathetic expression in a few words.

  “Cole,” she gently touched his thigh.

  He felt her all the way to his bones although she clearly wasn’t flirting. Her beautiful face was soft with sympathy. “I can tell something is really bothering you. You should share it with someone you trust. Do you have family close?”

  His eyes closed. She was so kind, so pure. He shouldn’t even be on the same piece of furniture with her.

  “I caused a man’s suicide,” Cole said harshly and stood up. He finished off his drink, crossed the room to the bar and poured himself another. “He was a husband and a father.” Cole walked to the fireplace, feeling the warmth on his face. He wished he could burn the shame from his heart.

  “One of the investments went badly?” She asked.

  He could feel her next to him then, joining him by the fire, her small hand on his arm. He didn’t dare look down into her warm eyes.

  “Worse than that,” he said. “It was a chain of events. Some I’d put in motion. Others I didn’t know about. Still, I was his advisor. Someone I’d gone to school with was in charge of the hedge fund. I trusted him, but I hadn’t really checked too closely.”

  “Cole, I don’t have a degree in finance, but even I know that investments carry risks.”

  “His wife came to see me, told me what I had done. Destroyed him, left her and the kids destitute. All I could do was write her a check, tell her I was sorry.”

  Lily stood in front of him. She took his drink and put in down. Then she placed both of her hands over his empty ones. Her eyes held a hint of tears.

  “You didn’t deliberately bankrupt that man.”

  “But…”

  She shook her head and gripped his hands harder. She was stronger than she looked, he thought, but he could barely think. He felt like he was falling into her, drowning in the heated warmth of her intense gaze.

  “People are responsible for their decisions and actions,” she said. “You don’t have all the facts about his suicide,” she said.

  “But…”

  “I, too, don’t have the whole story,” she said, “But I do know that if you came to the island to start over, you should start over.”

  “If only it could be that easy.”

  “You have to keep trying, but you definitely have to stop punishing yourself.”

  “I have been doing just that,” he said. “Once I heard her story, I knew our company had hurt more than just this family. I couldn’t stomach it anymore. So I quit. Left everything I knew and had and came here.” Cole shook his head and smiled ruefully. “When I had lunch at Marshside Mama’s with my Realtor and heard Sally Ann’s story, about how she was about to lose everything, her business, home, and her family would be destitute with no income, I thought if I could help her it would somehow…” He broke off, realizing his actions probably made as little sense to Lily as they had to Sally Ann, although she’d been grateful he had paid off enough of the restaurant’s debts that it could still function.

  “My family definitely thinks I’ve lost my mind.”

  As well as his friends and former coworkers.

  “You have to live with your conscience, not them.”

  He laughed a little bitterly, but for the first time in months he felt human again. He felt a bit more like himself.

  “I’ve totally interfered with the way Sally Ann’s ran her restaurant for years.”

  Lily picked up his drink, handed it to him and led him back to the couch.

  “So tell me what’s wrong with your restaurant.”

  “I thought the restaurant would be my new start. I’d get it on track and then start a food bank. There’s more hunger on the island than you’d think. With basic needs satisfied on the backside, I’d start getting businesses and families on the island onboard to build a Boys and Girls Club using my money and community funds to construct it and the restaurant profits to help operate it,” Cole said. “But I’m afraid there won’t be a club anytime soon at this rate.”

  “Why? What’s happened?” Lily said. She turned to him, her full attention on his face, worry across hers.

  “I messed up,” Cole said, and couldn’t believe he was admitting something he just confessed to himself. “I talked Sally Ann into offering catered Thanksgiving and Christmas meals, hoping to attract a new following to the restaurant.”

  “That’s what she was referring to earlier and I thought it was a wonderful idea,” Lily said, tucking a strand of her shiny brown hair behind her ear.

  “It’s not, if you don’t have the capacity,” he said. “We don’t. We don’t have the staff, the storage, the freezer space, or the team to deliver the meals. Thanksgiving was a disaster, with more than half of our orders arriving late in the evening, hours past our guaranteed delivery time. Sally Ann didn’t speak to me for a week.”

  Cole noticed a flicker of something cross Lily’s face, something he couldn’t read but wanted to.

  He smiled. “Sally Ann and her husband Otis have five kids, a love of this island, and a way of doing things that is way better than anything I’ve figured out. They would be better off without me, I’d bet.”

  Cole took a deep breath. He couldn’t believe he’d just shared all of that with Lily.

  “You’ve already taken the orders for Christmas?” Lily asked, a small smile played at the corners of her mouth. “Can’t you just refund the money?”

  “No, we took it, used it to fund the Thanksgiving purchases. Dozens of the turkeys went bad before Sally Ann could fix them when one of our freezers died. That’s the
trouble with Christmas. We have to follow through this time or Marshside Mama’s hope of growing, surviving even, is over.” Cole shook his head. He hated the sound of failure coming from his mouth. He took a gulp of his cocktail.

  Lily stood up. “I can help, if you would like. Everything you want to do is good and needed here on the island. But you’re not a chef. I am. And I’m here on the island, on my own, doing nothing through Christmas,” her voice briefly faltered, but then she continued. “Perhaps I could come up with a scalable, Lowcountry Christmas dinner that will be both delicious and cost-effective and appropriate for your kitchen,”

  Cole watched her eyes light up and caught his breath. She was animated. The sadness he’d sensed inside her was replaced by excitement.

  He wasn’t sure what Sally Ann would think—and he wasn’t even sure what Lily was proposing. He knew chefs were protective of their kitchens, but he did know he was open to help if it meant the restaurant would continue to operate. Also, he would be able to see Lily. The fact she wasn’t wearing the ring now threw him a little. She didn’t seem like someone who would tease him or cheat on a fiancé, yet she’d worn a ring earlier today but not tonight. Should he ask?

  Cole felt so attracted to her. Not just her body or her face but how kind she was. He had to fight the urge to kiss her incredibly full lips.

  “I’ll do some research tonight and we can meet in the morning, what do you think?” “Okay.” He had to drag his mind back to the present.

  Then she smiled and walked over to the Christmas tree that twinkled in the corner of the room. “Actually, I do have a favorite ornament on this tree. This one.”

  Cole walked over to the tree and bent to get a look at what Lily pointed to. He saw two white birds, facing each other inside a handcrafted frame made from glued together Popsicle sticks.

  “It’s mine. I made it when Avery and I were in third grade together. Back when I thought dreams came true,” Lily said and Cole saw that her eyes were a bit misty.

  He smoothed his hand down her incredibly soft hair and then pulled her in for a quick hug.

  “They do come true,” he whispered.

  “Lily, it’s dinner time,” James announced from the door of the library, startling them apart.

  Cole watched as Lily brushed the tears away from under her eyes then she turned and smiled at James. “Of course. Are you staying for dinner?” she asked Cole.

  “No, thank you,” he said, although James’s sudden tension almost made him want to say yes. “But let’s meet tomorrow. Why don’t you come to my house for breakfast tomorrow, nine a.m.”

  Lily nodded.

  “I’ve really enjoyed this,” he said, barely managing to restrain from touching her again. “Please do tell Avery thank you for having me. Nice spending time with you both,” he said, trying to force a smile from guard-dog James.

  And before the tension could become any thicker, he left the room and showed himself out. The cold air snapped him out of the ridiculous frenzy of the past moments, and he took a deep breath, exhaled and watched his breath dissipate in the night air. Slowly, he walked down the front steps of the elegantly decorated Putnam Plantation and to the darkness of his golf cart.

  What just happened? He wondered as he turned the key in the ignition and, blissfully, the cart responded, and he drove away into the night.

  Chapter Five

  LILY

  ‡

  Avery appeared in the foyer just as Cole closed the front door behind him.

  “James, did you kick him out?” she asked, hands on hips, mouth an angry line.

  “Don’t be melodramatic, Avery. He left on his own accord, right Lily?”

  “Yes, he had other plans, Aves,” Lily said quickly. She hated being in the middle of Putnam family fights. She tried to be Switzerland whenever possible, much to Avery’s chagrin.

  “James was sent in here to invite him to eat with us,” Avery said, glaring at James.

  “Well, he had to go. Strange fellow. Just can’t get a read on him,” James said. “I’m famished though, is dinner ready?”

  Avery eyed her brother and shot a Lily a look. She shrugged.

  “Yes, it’s ready. Millie has put everything out, buffet style. Since it’s just the four of us and mom. Jessica has already helped herself. Rude.”

  “Whatever, Avery,” James said and headed past them toward the kitchen.

  “Coming, Lily?” Avery asked.

  Lily would have preferred to stay in the glow of the library Christmas tree and remember the warmth of Cole’s embrace, the smell of him, mingled with the Christmas candles and pine. It was strange. She didn’t know much about him, yet, only that his former career had left him ashamed and committed to helping others. But that seemed enough right now. After this afternoon and evening, she felt close to him and his goal of improving himself and his small piece of the world.

  “Of course,” she said and followed Avery into the kitchen.

  *

  James and Jessica excused themselves after dinner, claiming James had an early morning meeting at the inn. Lily thought it odd James and his date appeared on Indigo Island so soon, but she had forgotten this retreat was now tied to the Putnams’ business. Avery’s husband Mark and the rest of the Putnam men were back in Atlanta at work. They weren’t arriving until tomorrow. Denton and Blake would probably bring dates for Christmas, too. Everyone would be a couple, except for her. That was the trouble with Christmas. There were just too many expectations and not enough sprinkles of magic when someone needed them.

  “You two are adorable together,” Avery said as soon as they were alone and clearing the table.

  “We are not a two,” Lily said quickly, but she was embarrassed that her voice seemed to lack conviction because Avery smiled.

  Lily began to wrap up the leftovers from their casual meal, which had been a gourmet feast of exotic cheese, charcuterie, fresh field greens, and crisp French bread along with local delicacies.

  “Earth to Lily,” Avery said, and Lily snapped out of her daydream, hoping Avery hadn’t been talking too long. “You like him,” Avery accused.

  “Yes, he’s nice,” Lily said trying not to blush. “But I was thinking. Cole has a problem, and I’ll bet you can help me figure out how to help.”

  “You love a good problem, especially when it looks like him, don’t you?” Avery teased her while wrapping the leftover shrimp cocktail with a big sheet of aluminum foil.

  “I do when it’s a culinary problem,” Lily said and explained what Cole had told her about his restaurant.

  “You two have so much in common,” Avery said, dumping the cocktail sauce into a glass container, spilling half of it on the granite counter top. “I think I should let you two solve it together. Plus, I know nothing about the restaurant business, except for how to make a reservation, am I right?”

  Lily smiled at her friend. “But that’s why I need your input,” she said, pouring the remaining kale salad into a bigger glass bowl and sealing the lid. “We need to know what people like you want from an authentic Lowcountry restaurant for Christmas.”

  “We?” Avery repeated. “He works fast. Bob who?”

  “Avery, this is business,” Lily said. “But yes, I thought staying busy would help me not think about Bob marrying someone else this Christmas only a few weeks after dumping me.”

  “I know,” Avery said softly. “I shouldn’t tease, but Cole is a hottie. And a culinary hottie at that. What could be better?”

  “Avery, stop, I’m serious. I’m helping him with his business, that’s all. He’s not even a chef,” Lily said, too embarrassed to look Avery in the face as she was certain she was blushing.

  “Okay, honestly, I’d love a meal from a more simple time. A meal with homemade Christmas cookies with sprinkles for desert,” she said, laughing.

  “Honestly? Isn’t that too, well, unsophisticated for the people who have second and third homes on Indigo Island?” Lily said and carried the stemware to the ki
tchen island.

  “No, I don’t think so. We come here for a simple pace, to a more peaceful place. But then, being creatures of habit, we import the same foods, the same drinks, the same—well—everything. We aren’t really experiencing the island, are we? We’re simply making it a reflection of home,” Avery said, stacking the dishes in the sink.

  Lily couldn’t love her best friend any more if she tried. “You are brilliant,” she said and hugged Avery hard. “You are so right. Let the inn serve traditional Christmas dinner. Let all of the homeowners who want to make their own Christmas hams and turkeys—either with their staff or on their own—gasp,” Lily said with a wink. “Do just that. Marshside Mama’s is going to give them a different experience.”

  “And just what experience will that be?” Avery asked.

  “Well, I think I need to take you on a field trip to the restaurant before I can answer that. Let’s do that after my meeting in the morning.”

  At Avery’s questioning look, Lily felt her face flush, and she wished she’d kept her breakfast with Cole a secret, at least until it was over.

  “You have a date?”

  “It’s a meeting to discuss the menu,” Lily said and began to put the dishes into the dishwasher.

  “You’re seeing him tomorrow,” Avery grinned and kicked off her shoes. She turned out the kitchen light. “That’s a date.”

  Lily was grateful for the dark so Avery didn’t see her bright red face.

  “Don’t read anything into it, Aves. We’re discussing a menu,” she helped Avery blow out all the Christmas candles.

  “I’m not reading anything into it, until you do,” Avery said. “I think we’ve got all the lights, you need to get a good night’s beauty rest. Race you up the stairs.”

  And just as they had done for years, they raced each other to the top. And this time, Lily actually won.

  Chapter Six

  COLE

  ‡

  What was I thinking? Cole asked himself for the millionth time. He was a bachelor, living in a huge house somebody else had decorated for their family. He had a Sub Zero refrigerator that was absolutely empty except for coffee and half a bottle of orange juice. He ate every meal at the restaurant, or, on days off, at the inn. He had a few power bars in the pantry if his blood sugar dropped too low after a workout.