CASINO SHUFFLE

by Fields Jr. , J.

  Coughing and gasping, he was laid flat on the floor.

  Mark yanked his bowtie free and snapped the button on his shirt collar. “Take a few good breaths, buddy.”

  Antonio removed a sodden handkerchief from his jacket pocket and spat into it. “Where is…Ang Wang?”

  “Right here,” said Ang. He was crouched down holding out a dripping digital camera. “Take it you fucking lunatic.”

  Chapter Thirty

  Antonio entered the butler pantry wearing silk pajamas and a plush robe from the 24-hour casino gift shop in the lobby.

  “I put it on your tab,” said Mark. “I got myself this.” He held up an eight inch rectangular box with a round red seal and ribbon affixed to the front. “It’s a cigar. To celebrate your near death experience.”

  Antonio arched an eyebrow. “That is a Stradivarius Churchill. The wrapper leaf is from Connecticut, aged fifteen years. It’s one of the top ten most expensive cigars in the world.”

  “I got you one too, thought it would settle your nerves,” he said, handing over a second one. “The gal at the counter said the box is made from Spanish cedar.”

  “It is indeed.” Antonio sat down as Mark exhumed the cigars from their coffins. He took a box of wooden matches from a collection on a shelf beside him. “Do you have a cigar cutter?”

  Mark blinked. “I just assumed you would have one on you, like you have everything else.”

  Antonio ran his hands down the fluffy lapels of the robe. “As you can see, I am prepared for nothing more than a nap.”

  “I have a pocket knife.” Mark opened the blade and ran it around the butt, removing a quarter inch of leave wrapper. “Take this one.”

  Within a minute they were smoking copiously and relaxing, the overhead ventilation fan whirring.

  “Hey look at us,” said Mark. “Like a couple of high school kids in the restroom.”

  “This is the least of the policies we’ve violated this evening.”

  “Too bad that shark didn’t get take a bite outta you,” said Mark. “You were on the clock. You coulda retired on workman’s comp.”

  “I would rather remain intact and dutifully employed.”

  “Maybe they’ll reimburse you for the tuxedo. What’s one of those things cost?”

  “The casino has already purchased the tuxedo. They are each expensed.”

  “Quite a racket you got going here.”

  “Yes, the benefits of my position are overwhelming at times.” Antonio had a sudden memory flash of open jaws and thorny rows of lethal teeth. “Did you ever determine the origins of the master key that Ang Wang was using?”

  Mark puffed out a perfect smoke ring. “Add that to my hidden talents. Yea, get a load of this: a bellhop had signed it out a week ago to deliver an amenity to a VIP guest for Player Development. He thinks he left it in the PD office. Never reported it so he wouldn’t get written up. Poor kid’s scared shitless now that he knows what it was used for…”

  “Damien Valentine, once again.”

  “That’s what I figure. A few pics of Shannon and Brandon in the suite would give the casino some free publicity. Every celebrity fan freak would wanna stay here just to post it on their Facebook page.”

  “But of course, it cannot be proven that Mr. Valentine found the key and passed it to Ang Wang.”

  “Doubt it. Ang won’t reveal his sources. If the dip in the shark tank didn’t do it I don’t know what would. Maybe we can put him in the tank with the real Liz Fiore.”

  “Was the signed confidentiality agreement put in a safe place?”

  “The confidentiality agreement Ang Wang signed, along with the signed agreement that we wouldn’t press charges against him for any wrongdoing while on the premises, were both scanned and sent to my contact in the legal department. Since his cash windfall never happened I guess a stiff fine wasn’t looking so good after all. My guess is he has an outstanding warrant or two and didn’t want to go to court. If he writes one word about anything that happened here he’ll have our whole team of lawyers trying to take a bit outta his butt.” Mark puffed, licked his lips. “And he’s been ejected for life from the casino, of course.”

  “The digital camera?”

  “While you were taking a shower in the spa I took out the memory card, stuck it under a blow dryer in the restroom. It was pretty corroded, all white around the edges. I tried it in a laptop anyways just to make sure. It was dead, didn’t even register as a memory card. The camera is dead too, it’s on my souvenir shelf in my office.”

  “So we’ll never know if he actually got a photograph. Did you make the call to get the Internet and cable turned back on for the casino?”

  “Yea, the guy wasn’t too happy about being woken up again. He wanted to know what it was all about, something had him all jacked up. I told him he’d find out soon enough. I didn’t wanna spoil the surprise.” He blew another smoke ring. “Helluva Friday night, Antonio.”

  “Saturday is looming on the horizon.”

  Mark looked at his watch. “I gotta go home and pick up dog shit. You sleeping over?”

  “Yes. Max is in my office on the pull-out. I have a rollaway bed.”

  “Why isn’t Max in his suite?” Mark stubbed out his cigar and held up a hand. “Forget it. I don’t wanna know anymore tonight.”

  The door to the butler pantry opened and a female Room Service attendant pushed in a cart with a silver serving platter on top. “It’s about time I thought you’d never come back.” She removed the cover with a flourish. “Baked Salmon fillet, compliments of Chef Carlson.”

  Mark grunted. “In the mood for fish, Antonio?”

  Antonio gently took the silver dome cover from the attendant and placed it back over the serving dish.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  “Thanks for breakfast, I’m starving.” Max was sitting behind Antonio’s writing desk in his undershirt and boxer shorts. “I think these scrambled eggs have Salmon in them.”

  Antonio exited the office bathroom, tugging the ends of his bowtie. “I wouldn’t be surprised in the least.”

  “A new tuxedo, a new day,” said Max. “What kind of shoes are those – alligator?”

  “Ostrich.”

  Max stood up and patted his stomach. “Do I have to wear a tuxedo again today?”

  “I have a fresh one for you in plastic in the closet.”

  “What kind of shoes do I get?”

  “I believe they are cow.”

  “Can’t we just tell Shannon the truth?”

  Antonio took a sip of his double-espresso. “Let us see what the day brings.”

  “Trixie’s birthday! What time is she coming again?”

  Antonio consulted his wristwatch which was, luckily, waterproof. “It is now 9am. She is expected to arrive by town car at 2pm, assuming her flight is on time.”

  “The tickets for the show are in my tuxedo jacket! Where’d it go?”

  “To the dry cleaners,” said Antonio. “You’ll find the envelope with the tickets in the inside pocket of the jacket hanging in the closet.”

  They both started at a loud banging on the office door. Still holding his cup and saucer, Antonio stepped over, turned the latch and opened the door. “Good morning, Sonny.”

  Sonny Wu stared at him wide-eyed. “Why aren’t you answering your BlackBerry?”

  “It became water-logged last night.”

  “That rumor about the shark is true? Forget it, listen, Max Allen is having an emergency in his suite. I just opened the door for the EMTs but wanted to tell you…” He was staring over Antonio’s shoulder. “Is that Max back there in his underwear?”

  Antonio sat down his espresso. “Why were EMTs called to Max’s suite?”

  “Someone in there dialed 911.”

  “Shannon!” Max pushed past them, and Antonio and Sonny ran in his wake.

  Outside the suite were a gurney and a crash cart with a concerned looking security guard which they rushed past. Inside the suite there was
a group of kneeling EMTs. In the center, lying prone on the floor with an oxygen mask over her mouth was Shannon Moon. Face swollen and red, sweating, but breathing.

  Antonio asked, “What happened?”

  A female EMT answered without looking up. “She had an allergic reaction to something. When we arrived she was asphyxiated and unresponsive. We gave her a shot with an EpiPen and got her breathing. She’s stable.”

  On the nightstand Sonny picked up a gold foil wrapper. “Belgian chocolate with almonds.”

  “My god,” said Max, nearly breathless himself. “Is she allergic to nuts?”

  “Yes, and it’s odd that she would be so careless,” said Antonio.

  “She took a couple sleeping pills last night.”

  “Perhaps the aftereffects clouded her judgment. Luckily she was cognizant enough to dial 911 when she realized what had happened.” Antonio turned to Sonny. “Call Marty Kline and inform him of her condition.”

  They had the collapsed gurney in the suite and the EMTs transferred Shannon from the floor to the sheeted gurney, one of them holding the oxygen tank connected via tube to her breathing mask. “We’ll be taking her to BackusHospital in an ambulance.”

  Max put a blanket over her before the EMTs connected the straps over her body. He said, “Antonio get me some pants, I’m going with her.”

  Antonio held the door open while one EMT used the foot pedal to raise the gurney and the three of them pushed her through the door and into the hall. Antonio held out a hand to stop Max from following. “I assume Brandon will be joining her.”

  “Oh,” said Max, stopping in his tracks. “But it’s my fault. I thought I got out all the food, but I left that behind.”

  “You weren’t aware of her allergy. It was an accident.”

  Max wavered slightly on his feet. “What do I do now?”

  “Shower, shave, and get dressed for Trixie’s arrival,” said Max. “You have a second beautiful lady to attend to, and as any good butler, you must learn to serve more than one at a time.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Mark Ford met up with Antonio around noontime in the butler pantry. He was wearing his blue pinstripe suit. “I got about five hours of sleep. Did I remember to shave?”

  “Considering the circumstances of last evening, you pass inspection.”

  “I almost called out sick, but I was afraid I’d miss something.” He gestured towards Antonio’s shoes. “What are those, shark skin?”

  “Ostrich.”

  “I brought you a new BlackBerry. You have fourteen missed calls and a bunch of text messages from Liz. The one that feeds on fresh meat, not the one in the tank.” Mark walked over to the Electra espresso machine. “Come here baby, Daddy needs a pick-me-up.”

  Antonio reviewed the screen on his BlackBerry. He browsed through the texts, each one providing more detail of the wrath he was about to face. He braced himself and dialed her number.

  She answered, “Good morning Antonio.”

  He was taken aback at her pleasant tone of voice. “Good morning, Liz.”

  “Did you get some sleep last night? I know you had a big day.”

  “I slept adequately.”

  “You did? That’s wonderful.”

  There was a long pause.

  Antonio cleared his throat. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

  “Are you in the butler pantry?”

  “Yes.”

  “Would you be so kind as to select a knife from the silver cutlery and plunge it into your goddamn chest?”

  Mark turned around and sipped his espresso. “Mmm. Hot.” He raised his eyebrows. “Is she pissed off?”

  Antonio said, “She is requesting that I stab myself with a knife.”

  “Who are you speaking with, Antonio?” Her voice was still sweet and very calm.

  “I’m here with Mark Ford.”

  “Oh splendid,” she said. “Could you ask him to also find a knife and cut off your balls? Then have one of your butlers deliver them to my office on a silver platter. If you would be so kind.”

  Mark asked, “What’s she saying?”

  Antonio waved him off. “Liz, would you like me to explain the events of last night?”

  “Oh I am tingling with curiosity, Antonio. But first may I tell you about an event that occurred last night?”

  “Of course.”

  “Why thank you, kind sir. The President of the casino drove in last night and entered his office. He logged onto his computer and entered a website address where he held a Skype conference call with an investment banker in Macau. Do you know where Macau is, Antonio?”

  “It is in the People’s Republic of China. The time difference is exactly opposite from our own.”

  “Why yes it is. So this investment banker represents a contingency of wealthy individuals who would like to invest in an expansion of the Native Sun Casino. That’s the casino where you and I are employed.”

  Antonio waited, but a quiet dread was looming.

  “So when our President was in the middle of his very well thought out, meticulously researched presentation to said investment banker on the other side of the world, his computer screen went blank.”

  “I can explain that.”

  “No need, no need. He called me right away, and I in turn called an individual from IS at his home, where he was surprisingly already awake. He was kind enough to inform me that I had instructed you to have him to turn off the Internet for the entire casino complex.”

  “Liz, if you might pause for a moment…”

  “So I told him that was fine, and he asked me if I wanted it turned back on and I declined. Instead, I called back the President and told him that you had completely lost your mind. I would describe his reaction as somewhat upset.”

  “There is a rational explanation for my actions…”

  “He wasn’t upset about the Internet, Antonio. He was upset because he had left his office to walk over to the business center so that he might use the computers in there, thinking perhaps it was just the Executive Offices that had lost Internet capability. Would you venture to guess what he saw as he crossed the hotel lobby?”

  The rising dread broke across his person like a storm front. “He may have encountered me in a somewhat precarious position.”

  “He did not. What he encountered was a fucking psychopath in a tuxedo fighting a shark in the showcase tank behind the front desk. Thus, my explanation of how you had lost your mind was completely validated.”

  Antonio rubbed one temple with the tip of his finger. “Has my employment been severed, Liz?”

  “I would never dream of doing that over the phone, Antonio. I will call you to arrange a face-to-face meeting.”

  “Very well.”

  “Enjoy the rest of your afternoon,” she said pleasantly, and ended the call.

  Mark finished off his espresso. “Can you put in a good word for me? I think I could do your job.”

  “I’m not convinced that my recommendation would be to your advantage.”

  “She won’t fire you once she has the whole story.”

  “We shall see.” Antonio brushed a bit of lint from his sleeve. “It appears that we have another interesting day on our agenda, Mark.”

  “I heard Shannon was taken out in an ambulance. She okay?”

  “I was just about to call and inquire about her status. Did you hear any gossip regarding last night’s festivities?”

  “It’s all over the casino. Some high roller lost all his money on the craps table and tried to commit suicide by jumping into the shark tank.”

  “Interesting.”

  “You jumped in to save him and stabbed the shark in the head with a knife you had in an ankle sheath.”

  “Indeed?”

  “Word is you used to be a Navy Seal. Are you sure those shoes aren’t shark?”

  “Would you like to include that as part of the storyline you’ve been telling everyone?”

  “I would, yes.”


  “As you wish,” said Antonio. “If this is to be my last weekend, it might as well be remembered in an adventurous spirit.” He sighed and then set to work on focusing his attention to the day’s duties. “I believe I’ll check on Max and call the hospital from his suite. Would you care to join me?”

  Mark shook his head. “I gotta go finish my report and explain everything to the boss. I might include that part about the shoes.” He looked around. “Got any of those apple fritters today?”

  “I’ll have some sent over to your office.” Antonio’s phone buzzed and he answered. “Hello Sonny. Thank you for attending the morning operational meeting for me.”

  “Stay in the butler pantry.”

  Antonio paused. “I was just about to go check on Max.”

  “That would be a very bad idea.”

  Antonio put the call on speaker so that Mark might hear. “Where are you, Sonny? I’m here with Mark.”

  “I’m down the hall hiding behind a decorative floor vase. Hi Mark.”

  “Hi Sonny.”

  Antonio asked, “And whom are you hiding from, Sonny?”

  “Brandon, who is standing outside Max’s door holding a gun.”

  Mark said, “Glad I came in,” and lifted his hand to speak into his cuff mic.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Mark and Antonio were in the elevator landing area between the butler pantry and the exit doors to the Villa hallway.

  Antonio was on the phone with Max. “I was hoping you weren’t in your suite.”

  “I wish I wasn’t. He’s still banging on the door.”

  “Yes, I can hear him.”

  “He’s going to shoot me.”