The Rocker That Holds Her (The Rocker...)

by Terri Anne Browning

  The cop was someone I remembered well. He had been one of the cops that had arrested Drake when he had beaten his sick-ass stepdad unconscious six years before. After Drake and Shane’s mother had killed the bastard, the cops let Drake go. The man sitting on Emmie’s front steps had even come to Mrs. Nelson’s funeral.

  Recognizing us, the cop stood. “Boys.” Officer Brady nodded his head in greeting. “I figured you would be showing up sooner than later.”

  I offered the man my hand. “She’s ours.” It was a simple enough answer, but a true one. Emmie had belonged to us since she was five years old.

  “This is Miss Hill. By law she has to take Ember. She’s only fifteen and as far as I know there are no living relatives.”

  I shook my head and pulled out the paper that I had been waiting three years to use. Three years of paying five grand a month to the Devil for this one piece of paper. I would have paid more—double, triple, fuck ten times that amount—each month. Emmie’s mother had set that amount and I wasn’t going to tell her no. Not when she had given me what I wanted.

  I unfolded the simple sheet of paper with the woman’s handwriting on it, and more importantly her signature at the bottom, and handed it over to Officer Brady. “She’s Jesse’s sister.”

  The man raised an eyebrow at the lie but didn’t say anything as he read the paper that we had been smart enough to have notarized. If there had been time I would have made that bitch go one step further and had a lawyer draw up the right legal documents, but there hadn’t been time.

  “Mr. Thorton, is this true?” Miss Hill asked after reading the notarized sheet of paper in the dim light that came from the cop car’s headlights. “You are Ember Jameson’s brother?”

  Jesse’s father had died from a massive stroke just two years ago so there wasn’t anyone that could dispute our claim. Unless they wanted a DNA test, but with the notarized letter there was no reason for that. Jesse nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I’m her brother.”

  The social worker frowned down at the paper then let out a frustrated sigh. “Well, we will have to speak to the notary that signed off on this. But I am sorry to inform you that Ember has run away.”

  I shrugged. “I’m sure she is just upset about her mother. We know all of Emmie’s hiding spots. Finding her won’t be a problem … that is if you are letting us have her?”

  Cool blue eyes looked right through me. “No. I am not letting you have her.” My stomach actually twisted into a knot until she turned that cool gaze back to Jesse. “But as her only living relative, I will sign her over into your custody, Mr. Thorton, as soon as the notary has authenticated all signatures.”

  There was no describing the relief I felt. Knowing that Emmie was ours now—okay, Jesse’s but whatever—was like having the pressure of the world lifted from my shoulders. The social worker handed Jesse a stack of papers, told him he would have to come down to her office first thing the next morning with Emmie, and left with Officer Brady. I waited until the cop car’s taillights had been out of sight for a good ten minutes before calling Emmie’s cellphone.

  “Nik?”

  “Are you hungry?” I suddenly felt as if I were starving. “How about some pizza?”

  “I’m not hungry.” She sounded tired but there was still no emotion in her voice. I couldn’t begin to understand what was wrong with Emmie until I had her warm, fed, and safely tucked into bed back in the hotel I had reserved for us.

  “Let’s get out of here, baby doll.” I glanced at Shane, Drake, and Jesse. They were all looking a little anxious to get out of here. “We’re all tired and need a good night’s sleep.”

  “Are the cops gone?”

  “All gone, sweetheart,” I promised her.

  “I can go with you? They aren’t going to take me away?” There was a small hitch in her voice this time.

  “Ah, Emmie. Do you honestly think we would let them take you from us? No way! You’re ours now.”

  The phone disconnected and at first I thought maybe something had happened to her. “Emmie?” I glanced around, hoping that she had hidden somewhere close by. “Emmie!” I shouted her name when I didn’t get an answer.

  The others started calling for her too. Drake and Shane headed off to some of her usual hiding spots. Jesse rubbed a hand over his bald head, worry in his eyes. “Em?” He turned in a full circle. “Where are you, Em?”

  The sound of tin bending caught my attention, and I had a sense of déjà vu when I saw thin legs crawling out from under her trailer. Only this time Emmie wasn’t a beaten little rag doll, hiding from her mother until we could find her and keep her safe. Now she was ours and we were taking her home with us.

  Jesse was like lightning. I still couldn’t get over how fast and smooth that big man could move. Before Emmie’s head could come out from under the trailer he had her in his arms. “Stop, I smell bad,” she complained when Jesse held on to her for dear life.

  “Don’t give a fuck.” Jesse laughed as he swung her around and around. “God, Emmie, it’s so good to see you again.”

  I grimaced. We hadn’t seen Emmie in person in nearly eighteen months. Texting and phone calls throughout the day didn’t show us how she was growing. And she sure as fuck had grown since the last time I had laid eyes on her. She was at least four inches taller, her auburn hair hanging half way down her back. And even in the dim light of a distant streetlamp I could tell that Emmie was no longer my pretty little baby doll.

  Fifteen year old Emmie was beautiful!

  --

  It took us four days to get everything situated with Emmie.

  We made sure her mother—may her soul forever burn in the deepest bowels of Hell—had a proper funeral for Emmie’s sake and nothing more. That was easy compared to having to fill out all the paperwork the social worker, Miss Hill, made Jesse handle. When he kept stumbling, Emmie took over and did the paperwork herself, giving it back for him to sign his name at the end.

  Of course there was school to worry about, but I found an alternative for that. She could be homeschooled via internet while we were on tour. I bought her the best laptop and made the tech guy put all things she would possibly need on there, and a few things just for fun. I wanted to make sure that she didn’t get bored while we were on the road.

  Instead of packing up her clothes in that disgusting trailer, we took her shopping. She didn’t want us to buy her anything, but she needed it. Deserved it. The only thing she ended up taking with her from her room was a backpack full of pictures. All of them were of us. Pictures of us when we were all younger. Things she might have gotten out of magazines or tabloids. She had started a scrapbook, something to help her when she missed us the most.

  I was convinced we were smothering her by the last day before we were due to rejoin the tour in Oklahoma. We hadn’t really let her out of our sight to do more than use the bathroom. I think we all had an irrational fear that someone was going to barge in and steal her away from us if we didn’t have our eyes on her at all times. Emmie, however, didn’t seem to mind it at all. She was just as glad to see us. For the first time since I had met her, she was smiling more often than not. There wasn’t any fear in her big green eyes. With her mother gone, she had no one to fear.

  Of course that didn’t mean that people didn’t have to fear her. As soon as we rejoined the tour, our manager, Rich Branson, ripped into us. As soon as greedy eyes landed on the newest addition to our group, his eyes narrowed on her. “You are nothing but trouble, you know that, princess?”

  Green eyes burning with fire, Emmie said, “Don’t call me princess, fucker.”

  “Nice. What a sweet little girl you are.” Rich threw his arms in the air. “I can already see this is going to be fun.”

  “Back off, dude,” Jesse told him. “Mess with Em, I’ll fuck you up.”

  Rich walked away after that, muttering under his breath.

  Chapter 4

  From Baby Doll To…GODS, She’s Beautiful!

  It took us a while but
we settled down. We got a new bus, one that didn’t smell like Jack Daniels and sex so much. The guys and I had already agreed that there would be no sex on the bus. Emmie wasn’t to be exposed to that at all. She had witnessed shit like that all her life with her mother. Our lifestyle wasn’t going to be another whore house for her to have to deal with.

  For the first few months we didn’t let Emmie meet any of the other bands that were touring with us. The tour that we had been doing when her mother had died was already over and another one was just starting when Axton met Emmie again for the first time. To say I was on edge when Axton Cage hugged her close, like she was another one of his groupies, was an understatement.

  “Little Emmie is growing up,” Axton told her with one of his shitty grins that I knew got him laid on a daily basis. “Someone is going to be a hottie when she’s legal.”

  My hands fisted at my sides. He didn’t have to tell me that she was beautiful. Fuck, now that she had gained a little weight, she was even more stunning than when she first came to live with us. I hated how much I noticed the little things that made her so beautiful. So… female.

  Thankfully Emmie took Axton’s praises in her stride, putting him in the same category as the rest of us. Friend. She was just as comfortable with him as she was any of us. It was almost funny how she teased the rock god at times, and even I found myself laughing at it. Of course they were the times I could actually stand to be in the same room with Axton and Emmie.

  By the time she was sixteen, none of us could deal with how gorgeous Emmie was. She was becoming sassier and that, on top of being beautiful, had guys coming out of the woodwork to just get her to notice them. Of course, she didn’t. She was immune to any attention, good or bad. That didn’t mean we didn’t stress over it.

  Jesse was the worst of the four of us. When he caught one of the sound guys talking to her, the guy’s eyes eating up the sight of Emmie in her tight Demon’s Wing tank top, skin tight jeans, and stiletto boots, Jesse had made sure the guy knew just how dangerous even thinking about Emmie like that would be to his health. A few loose teeth later and everyone that worked with us knew that she was hands—and eyes—off.

  I was slowly going out of my mind. I was fighting my reaction to Emmie, which had only grown stronger and stronger with each passing month. I was a sick fucker. I hated myself in almost every way because I was feeling things that I had no business feeling for the girl that had once been my little baby doll.

  It was a struggle to still be close to her, but the alternative was to give up the friendship—the connection that for me went soul deep. To do that would destroy me, so I learned to hide my sickness. To try and curb my needs, I found girl after girl and got lost in her, trying my best not to let Emmie sneak into my mind.

  Seventeen came and slowly went by. I was sure that my desire would fade soon.

  Right?

  Wrong. So, so, so wrong!

  --

  “Happy birthday, Emmie!” Drake exclaimed.

  “What is the one thing you want more than anything in the world?” Jesse asked.

  We were all sitting in the back of the tour bus, which was parked in the parking lot of the arena we would be performing at tonight. But that was hours away, and we had dedicated the entire day to Emmie. Legal, eighteen Emmie.

  She was cuddled between me and Shane, her head on my chest as Shane rubbed her feet that he had put in his lap. It was a bittersweet hell for me having her this close, smelling her shampoo and lotion that was subtle but no less seductive to my senses.

  “I have everything I want right here,” she told Jesse with a grin.

  I tortured myself by running my fingers through the ends of her silky soft, auburn hair. “Don’t be rotten, baby girl. What do you want to do?”

  She shrugged, making her breast brush against my bicep. “I don’t know. Can’t we just veg out? Watch movies, eat junk food? I want pizza and Chinese food, and lots of ice cream and a cake. A huge cake.”

  “I’ll have to run a marathon to get all of that off later,” Shane laughed. “But if it’s what you want, it’s what you’ll get.”

  “Okay, who’s getting what?” Drake asked, already sucking on a bottle of Jack Daniels at barely ten thirty.

  “I’ll order the pizzas,” I offered, picking up my cellphone from the table beside the couch I was sitting on.

  “I’ll go pick up the dessert and some movies. What are you in the mood for, sweetheart?” Jesse asked, getting to his feet.

  “I want chocolate ice cream, and I don’t care what the cake is. Just birthday cake. And toppings. I want lots of toppings for the ice cream. No nuts though.” She kicked at Shane’s legs when he tried to tickle her toes. “Jerk! Just for that I want to watch gore. Lots and lots of gore.”

  Shane groaned. “No. I’ll throw up and then how am I going to play tonight?”

  “Then be good to me!” She squealed when he grabbed for her feet again, already starting to tickle them. “No, no!” She kicked him hard in the side, making him release her. Of course she scooted back onto my lap, seeking the safety of my arms. “Don’t let him, Nik!”

  Good lord, the agony! Having that tight little ass brush against my groin was torture. Having her holding on and giggling so adorably only added to the pain. But it was a good pain. So fucking good!

  With one arm I held onto her, keeping her against me. The other arm I warded Shane off, not wanting him to disrupt my lovely burden anytime soon. “Mine!” I claimed dibs on her teasingly while my heart screamed that it wasn’t a joke. “Get your own.”

  “Right, so… chocolate, birthday cake, and the full collection of Full House it is.” We all groaned and Jesse gave a wicked grin. “Unless the birthday girl has a better suggestion.”

  “Comedies. I want to laugh today.”

  By the time we were supposed to take the stage my stomach hurt. Half the pain was from being so full after all the junk we had gorged on all day. The other half was from laughing with Emmie and my band brothers so much. I was still grinning like an idiot when we closed the concert that night.

  When I got back to the bus all I wanted to do was continue the way we had been all day long. Eat some cold pizza and stuff my face with another piece of the cake Jesse had produced that said: Happy Birthday Emily. The drummer had still been cursing about the bakery’s mistake right before the show had started. Then I wanted to settle down and watch another movie with Emmie while the crew packed up and we headed out for the next city on our countrywide tour.

  As soon as I stepped onto the bus I could hear Emmie giggling. The giggles were joined by a deeper chuckle, and my gut twisted with something close to jealousy. I didn’t know why it bothered me that Jesse was already getting comfortable and doing the same things I had been planning on doing. Really, I hadn’t even thought of my best friend in the whole scenario for tonight. With Drake and Shane off doing only Lord knew what, I had assumed he would be too.

  I had wanted some alone time with Emmie. Alone time that may or may not have ended with her on my lap once more.

  Pissed, I stomped through the bus like a kid that had been told he couldn’t have a desired toy to play with. When I got to the back where our living room was, I found Jesse in the spot I had sat in most of the day… with Emmie snuggled up to him. Her head was on his chest, her arm wrapped across his waist. Her favorite blanket was tucked around her legs, and she was grinning in a way that made her soul shine through.

  “I didn’t think you would be back tonight,” Emmie said without looking over at me from where I stood in the doorway.

  I grimaced, a little sick to my stomach that she was so familiar with my normal routine after a concert. “There was something better waiting for me here,” I told her honestly.

  Her head turned then and she smiled up at me with that sassy tilt to her lips. “There’s plenty of room on the couch for you.”

  I wasn’t about to turn the invitation down. Sending Jesse a smug grin, which he rolled his eyes at, I sat on t
he other end of the couch. Once I was comfortable, I did something that I had wanted to do all day. I pulled her away from Jesse, tucked her into my side, and kissed her forehead. “Happy birthday, baby girl.”

  --

  I woke with a warm weight on my chest. Something soft brushed across my cheek, and I blinked open my eyes to find Emmie sleeping soundly on top of me.

  My body grew harder, because yeah, I had woken with my usual hard-on after dreaming of this beautiful girl. Her sweet smelling hair caressed my face, tickling me a little, and I just barely bit back a groan. With a soft sigh, she shifted, not disturbed by my slight movements. She had fallen asleep with one or the other of us over the last few years so this was nothing new to her.

  For me, however, it was a mixture of Heaven and Hell. But I chose to enjoy this moment rather than let it make me miserable.

  The last thing I remembered was Jesse turning in for the night around three o’clock. The bus was about to leave, and Drake and Shane had been in bed for more than an hour by then. With both of us getting tired but not ready to head off to bed just yet, I had turned on another movie and stretched out on the long couch. Emmie hadn’t even asked before lying down beside me. As tiny as she was she didn’t take up much room, and I had held onto her tight as the bus had pulled out into traffic and the opening credits started.

  The movie hadn’t been over before I had drifted off, still holding her close. She must have done the same, and then rolled on top of me in her sleep. Content for the moment, I ran my fingers over the soft skin of her bare arm, loving how silky it was. Goose flesh popped up as I continued the slow caresses.

  Knowing that, at least in her sleep, she liked my touch thrilled me on a dark level, and I hated myself all over again. I couldn’t do this. She trusted me, loved me as a friend and nothing more. She deserved better than what I could ever give her. I knew how hard it was to keep a meaningful relationship going when you were a rocker. I had watched the friends I had made over the years go through one horrible breakup after another.