The Rocker That Holds Her (The Rocker...)

by Terri Anne Browning

  “I didn’t stick around long to listen to your song, Nik. I started throwing up when I realized you were…in love.” I had to strain to hear the last word.

  “Sweet, sweet Emmie,” I murmured, leaning forward to brush my lips over her neck. “Still so blind. How can I open your eyes, baby girl? Do you need me to spell it out? Have I been such a fool in not realizing that you couldn’t see just what you have done to me?” I licked the spot under her ear I had recently learned was a weakness of hers. “Yes, I am in love. There is this Ember in my heart that has hold of me and won’t let go.” I sang a line of the song I had written for her.

  A tear spilled from her eye and landed on her cheek. She didn’t try to wipe it away as it rolled down her flawless cheek and landed on my jeans. I could see that I had finally gotten through to her. That she was really opening her eyes and seeing me for possibly the first time.

  “I love you, Em. With everything inside of me, I love you. You are my favorite dream come to life and I never want to let you go.” I brushed my lips over her eyes, wiping her tears away with my tongue. “I need you to breathe. You keep the world afloat when everything else is going insane.”

  Her entire body shook. “I have loved you for so long, Nik,” she confessed softly. “You were my dark prince in rusty armor when I was a kid. Now you have become my reason for getting up each morning. The last few years, watching you with a revolving door of one night stands, has slowly killed me. I instantly hate any female that looks at you.”

  I was surprised that I was still crouched down in front of her. Her confession of loving me back made me weak. I had been just as blind as I had accused her of being. How could I have not seen how much she cared?

  “Oh, baby, I’m sorry. I had no idea.” I cupped her face. “They didn’t mean anything, Emmie. I swear it. They were just something that distracted me from doing what I knew I shouldn’t. When you came to live with us I wanted you then. I thought I was turning into some demented pedophile and I hated myself.” I still remember how sick I had felt after waking up from that first dream of her. She had been seventeen and I had felt like such a pervert. “Then I realized that it was just you, but that didn’t make me feel any better. So I used the other girls to take my mind—and other things—off of what I wanted most.”

  I grimaced. “The dreams started a few years ago. I would wake up in the middle of the night with my dick so hard, and it would take all of my will power to keep from seeking out the warmth of your arms so I could make my dreams a reality.” As I talked to her I couldn’t help but trace the lusciousness of her bottom lip. “That’s why our night together didn’t surprise me. I just brushed it off as another dream.”

  Her chin trembled. “I thought you didn’t know it was me. I hated myself for taking advantage of you like that. But I lived off the memories.” Her fingers combed through my hair, tangling in the ends. “That night was more than I could have ever hoped for …”

  For one brief moment I thought that maybe I was dreaming again. She was telling me everything I had ever longed to hear. Then her fingers tugged roughly on my hair and the pain told me that this was real. I brushed a kiss over her lips, lingering for a moment to get a better taste. Knowing that she loved me back gave me the feeling that I could take on the world and win. The longer we talked, the more sure I was of what I really wanted.

  It was risky asking her now. I knew I was rushing her, and that could always backfire when it came to Emmie. But I couldn’t keep from asking her.

  I kissed her again. “You aren’t going to leave me, are you, Em?”

  “No, never.”

  “And you love me?” I brushed my nose against hers.

  “Yes,” came her breathy reply.

  “Will you marry me, my Ember?” I held my breath as I waited for her answer, playing with her fingers to soothe myself as she seemed to think about her answer.

  “Yes,” she said as tears spilled from her eyes once again.

  At first I was sure I had heard wrong. “Yes?” I repeated.

  She nodded. “Yes, Nik.”

  I pushed her back against the pillows, my mouth already on hers as I tried to show her how happy she had just made me. Emmie was going to marry me!

  I tried to go slow but it was hard when all I wanted was to be inside of her. My hands were already stripping her of her jeans and T-shirt. My mouth couldn’t make up its mind where it wanted to taste her next as I moved from kissing her neck to sucking on her nipples. Her short nails raked over my scalp as she whimpered in pleasure.

  I sat up long enough to tear my shirt off and toss it over my shoulder. “When?” I demanded as I kissed her shoulder. “When will you marry me?”

  Emmie stopped pushing my boxers down. “After the baby is born.”

  I wanted to argue, demand that she start planning our wedding tomorrow, but if she wanted to wait until after our child was here then I would respect that. For a brief, insane second I had the fear that she would change her mind between now and then but forced those thoughts to the back of my mind when she started pulling my underwear off again.

  “Oh gods!” Her eyes were glued to my dick as it sprang free of my boxers. “You’re perfect.”

  “Do you want it, Em?” I pushed her back against the pillows and spread her thighs wide. “Do you want my dick inside of you, baby?”

  “Yes.” Her voice was all breathy with need. “I want you deep, Nik.”

  I gripped the shaft tightly in my fist and rubbed the tip over her damp folds. Her heat was scalding and I groaned at how amazing it felt. She trembled with each brush of my cock across her sensitive clit, and I was fighting not to erupt then and there. It was almost embarrassing, the way Emmie made me lose control so fast. Not even when I was a teenager had I been so quick to finish.

  “I love you, Nik.”

  Emmie’s whispered words were my undoing, and I sunk into her balls deep. Her legs wrapped around my waist, holding me deep inside of her. “Are you okay?” I managed between pants.

  “Mm. Don’t stop. I need you, Nik.”

  “Baby!” I pulled half way out and slowly sunk deep, loving the way her walls clung to me like a second skin.

  “Harder,” she commanded. “Make me come, Nik.”

  “Fuck,” I couldn’t hold back as I started to piston my hips, jackhammering into her hard. Her nails raked down my back as she screamed my name over and over again. When I felt her walls starting to convulse, her nails dug into the skin on my shoulder blades, slicing my back open as she came all over my dick.

  Chapter 14

  Love At First Sight

  I had forgotten to shut the blinds. I groaned and turned onto my stomach, using my pillow to cover my head. Sighing, I snuggled deep under the covers.

  But I was awake now and memories of the night before had me sitting up in bed. My empty bed…

  I frowned, not completely comprehending that Emmie wasn’t in bed with me. “Em?” I called out, hoping she hadn’t gone far.

  “What?” she asked, walking into my room with a towel wrapped around her. Her long auburn hair was wet from the shower. The soft fragrance of lavender and vanilla filled the room, and I sucked in a deep breath, greedy for the scent that was so Emmie.

  “Are you going somewhere?” I asked, trying to force my attention on something other than the fact that I had an almost completely naked Emmie walking around my bedroom.

  “We both are.” She pushed her hair out of her face and sat down on the edge of my bed. “I have an ultrasound this morning and I want you to go with me. It’s time you met your daughter.”

  I reached for her, pulling her down on top of me as I lay back down. “What time is the appointment?”

  Green eyes lit with amusement. “Soon. We don’t have time for another round, baby.”

  “Figures.” I wrapped a few strands of her damp hair around my fingers. Right now it didn’t matter that there wasn’t time to make love to her again. I was content just to hold her like this. Fuck, I w
ould have been content if the world decided to shut down and everything else turned to shit. I had everything I would ever want in my arms.

  I kissed her long and hard before rolling her onto her back and lifting up on my elbow. “Still love me?”

  Emmie raised a brow at me, full of sass. “Pretty sure I still do.” She giggled when I glared down at her. After a moment the laughter died and she bit her lip. “Do you still love me?”

  “Baby, my love for you isn’t going to change overnight.” I brushed another kiss over her lips. “Or ever. No one is ever going to hold my heart like you. Understand?”

  She nodded but I saw a flash of uncertainty in her eyes before she pulled my head back down for another kiss. My body was begging for another round of lovemaking, but Emmie was already pushing me off of her as I reached for her towel.

  “I have to get dressed and you need a shower.”

  “You can’t kiss a guy like that and just walk off, woman!” I called after her and was rewarded with the sound of her giggling again.

  An hour later we were in an exam room waiting on the doctor and the ultrasound tech to come in. Emmie was sitting up on the table in a gown the nurse had given her and nothing more. To tell the truth I was nervous as hell and had no idea why. I had the picture that Emmie had been given from a few days before still in my wallet. I hadn’t looked at it much, but the few times I had, I had memorized every inch of the grainy picture.

  To distract myself from my nervousness, I kissed Emmie as often as she would let me. Fortunately for me that was often. Unfortunately, I was rock hard and she wasn’t going to let me ravish her any time soon. I knew because I had already asked. Twice.

  Her lips were swollen from my last kiss, and she licked at the bottom lip, seeming to savor my taste. “Will you be good?” she laughed, something that she had been doing a lot of this morning. “I’m not going to have sex with you when the doctor could come in any minute.” Her soft hands pushed at my chest with barely any force, her smile making my heart skip a beat as I watched her. “Nik…”

  I stuck my bottom lip out in a pout. “One more kiss?”

  Big, green eyes sparkled with happiness. “Okay, just one more.” Her arms slid up my chest and her fingers combed through my hair as she pulled my head down.

  Yeah, it was official. I was completely addicted to this woman’s mouth. Groaning, I thrust my tongue inside, deepening the kiss. Scorching heat greeted me and my hands gripped her hips through the ridiculously thin material of her gown in an attempt to keep from touching her more intimately.

  The kiss might have lasted for another hour if there hadn’t been a knock on the door. I heard it before Emmie could even comprehend what was going on and reluctantly stepped back from her. I was just turning around when the door opened and the doctor came in with a younger woman behind her.

  “Good morning, Ember,” the doctor greeted Emmie before zeroing her gaze in on me. “Umm, and you are?”

  “Nik Armstrong, ma’am.” I offered her my hand. “I’m the daddy.”

  Her eyes widened and then she smiled. “Great, I always like meeting the father if possible. But since you couldn’t be here yesterday it was nice that Jesse was able to come with Ember. That’s a pretty nice friend you have there.”

  I grinned, sensing that the lovely doctor might have developed a crush on my best friend. “Yeah, he’s pretty amazing.”

  The doctor turned her attention back to Emmie. “Is your bladder full?”

  Emmie grimaced. “Pretty full.”

  “Good. We can see the baby better that way.” After introducing the tech, the doctor helped Emmie lie back and produced a blanket which she spread over Em’s legs before pulling up her gown. “I promise this won’t take too long. We just have to get measurements and I want to confirm your due date.”

  I felt like I was in the way. The tech was busy punching information into her machine while the doctor continued to mess with Emmie to get her comfortable. I stood off to the side, aching to at least hold Emmie’s hand. My heart was racing and my palms were sweating. I was terrified.

  The more I thought about the baby, the more freaked out I became. I had had a lousy father and there had never been anyone to ever show me how to be a good one. I was going to ruin this kid, I just knew it. She was going to think I was the worst dad in the world because I was such a douche bag.

  The lights were dimmed and I didn’t even notice. I heard the three women talking but couldn’t tell you a word they said. I was trying to keep my cool, at least pretend for Emmie’s sake that I was okay.

  The voices hushed all of a sudden as the room filled with a strong galloping noise. I frowned, focusing my attention on the screen where the tech was fiddling with nobs and buttons. The galloping was hypnotizing, and I found myself stepping closer to see what was making that oddly beautiful noise.

  Like the picture Emmie had given me, it took me a moment or two to focus on what it was supposed to be. But after a minute I saw the outline of a hand as it swung back and forward as if waving at me. Then came the leg and of course the foot as it kicked out at some imaginary ball. My breath caught as I continued to watch my daughter on the screen.

  “Everything looks good so far, Ember,” the doctor said as she pointed at the screen. “The baby is a good size and is measuring perfectly for your due date. Heart is strong and she looks very active. You should be able to feel her soon.”

  I listened intently without taking my eyes off the ultrasound screen. The tech moved again and I lost the view I had of the baby’s leg and foot. But when she moved out of my way it was to find the head instead. I felt tears burning my throat and had to blink as they filled my eyes as well. My little girl looked like she was smiling as she looked back at me on the screen.

  “She’s beautiful.”

  “Yes, she definitely is,” Emmie agreed and reached for my hand. “You’re going to be a great daddy, Nik.”

  Before I could stop them my tears spilled over. Emmie knew me better than anyone in the world. I might have thought I was hiding how freaked I was, but she had known anyway. “You think so?” I whispered, wiping at a few tears as they rolled down my cheek.

  “No, I know so.” She smiled up at me lovingly, making her that much more beautiful. “I love you, Nik.”

  Not caring that we had an audience, I bent and brushed a kiss over Emmie’s lips. It wasn’t the kind of kiss I had been giving her before the doctor had come in—one that begged her to let me take her to bed. This kiss had nothing to do with passion and everything to do with how much I loved Emmie… and our daughter.

  First Date

  By the time we got back to the beach house the guys had gotten home. Emmie made lunch, and we ate in front of the television watching the DVD of the ultrasound that the doctor had given us before leaving her office.

  It didn’t surprise me that my band brothers wanted to watch the video. It did catch me off guard a little when Jesse started to tear up. My best friend was a big old softie underneath all that scary rocker aggressiveness. Shane made a few wise cracks about the baby, but I could tell he was just as affected as Jesse was. Drake seemed the most apprehensive about it all, but he couldn’t keep his eyes from getting glassy when the baby stuck her finger in her mouth and kicked out like she didn’t have a care in the world.

  If one of our fans had seen all of us, they would have dropped dead with shock, or maybe of laughter. The big bad boys of Demon’s Wings just didn’t come across as emotional pansies. But really, with the evidence of Emmie’s pregnancy waving back at us on the huge flat screen, that was what we were.

  When the DVD was over I urged Emmie to take a nap. She looked beat and I hadn’t let her get anywhere near enough sleep the night before. As soon as I had her tucked into our bed in the master bedroom, I started working on the plans I had come up with the day before. It didn’t matter that we had sorted through the majority of our problems the night before.

  Emmie deserved to be wooed. Starting tonight I wa
s going to make sure she got everything she deserved.

  I was just finishing up my shower when Emmie walked into the bathroom. She was cursing a blue streak, and I stuck my head out of the shower to watch as she rushed toward the toilet. She didn’t seem to notice me as she sat down and then moaned in pleasure. I frowned, concerned. “You okay, baby?”

  She grimaced. “It’s never felt so good to pee before in my life.” She glared at me. “Stop looking at me like that! I’m trying to use the bathroom.”

  Chuckling, I turned away, rinsing the last of my bodywash away. When the toilet flushed I lost my chuckle as the water turned scalding for a moment. “Em!”

  I heard her giggling as she went back into our bedroom, making my grin return in full force as I turned off the water and reached for a towel. The sound of that woman’s laughter would always make me smile.

  Emmie was snuggled under the covers again when I entered the bedroom. She looked content and still a little sleepy. I ached to climb into bed beside of her and spend the rest of the day making love to her, but I had plans that I intended to follow through with.

  I walked over to the closet that I had hung my clothes in while Emmie was still sleeping. “Grab a shower, baby girl.” I told her as I pulled out a pair of slacks. I only had three pairs in my entire wardrobe. I fucking hated slacks, but the restaurant I was taking Emmie to tonight wasn’t the type of place that accepted jeans and a T-shirt as appropriate attire. “Then put on one of those sexy outfits you bought yesterday.”

  She yawned. “Why?”

  I didn’t turn to face her because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from joining her in bed. “It’s a surprise.”

  “I’m not a fan of surprises, Nik.”

  I grinned as I pulled a white T-shirt over my head and reached for my dark gray dress shirt. “Guess you will just have to deal, baby.”