House of Goths

by Maria Bernard

  Coming at him, Kell grabbed Crispin by the collar and glared menacingly into his eyes.

  “Go ahead, do your worst.” Crispin challenged, staring him down. “You know I’m right. Yet here you are, wasting your time with me when you could be upstairs, doing away with all her fears with just three little words.”

  Reluctantly releasing him, Kell slowly backed away and fell backwards into a chair. With his head in his hands, he eventually found his voice. “What’s the point, though? I’ll only end up letting her down. I’ll fuck it up, same I always have. In fact, I may have already ruined any chance at happiness with Becky. I’ve hurt her beyond redemption. I’ve taken a sweet innocent girl and torn her apart.”

  “Good lord, Kell, get over yourself.” Crispin couldn’t help but smile at his distraught friend. “You may have hurt her feelings, but you haven’t fucked anything up. Not yet. Give Becky a little credit. She’s tougher than she looks, the little scrapper.”

  “That’s not the point,” Kell muttered in defeat. “I’m not good at this relationship thing. I don’t know how to be who she wants me to be. I’ll only disappoint her in the end. I’ll let her down like I’ve let everyone down in my life.”

  “You really don’t see it, do you?” Crispin gave his head a shake. “I tell you, it’s at times like these, I’m glad I never had parents. Your father really did a number on you.”

  “Shut the fuck up, man!” Kell growled menacingly.

  “No, you shut the fuck up!” Crispin said, opening the fridge door and pulling out Becky’s drawer, plunking it down in front of Kell. “Who is this all for?”

  “Becky…” Kell said, confused.

  Next Crispin reached into the breadbox, pulling out a fresh bag of crusty Italian buns. “These?”

  “Those are for Becky.”

  Crispin then proceeded to pull out everything that had Becky’s name scrawled out in marker in Kell’s handwriting from the cupboards. “Who exactly is all this for? I for one did not request rainbow chocolate chip cookies!”

  “What’s your point?”

  “Kell, you’ve done nothing but look after this girl ever since she had the misfortune of crashing into you that day! You took her in when I would have turned her away. You nursed to back to health, watched over her. You drove her all the way to Toronto when her grandmother died. You stuck by her side when I know it must have killed you to go through that again.”

  “You and Dorian were there too!” Kell protested.

  “Yes, but not in the way you were. Damn you, open your eyes! It was not my company she needed most. It was yours. She cried for you in her sleep. She called for you the entire time she was out of it.”

  “You see? I wasn’t there for her. I wanted to run away. In fact, I did run.”

  “You came back in the end! That’s what matters here. You and I both remember how you took her in your arms that night. It was your embrace she sought, no one else’s.”

  “What the fuck, Crispin? Are you in love with her too?” Kelley asked, searching his pained expression.

  “I am not in love with her. I’m in love with what you two have together. I only wish one day I might find the same for me. You’re soulmates, don’t you see?”

  “Crisp…”

  “Seriously, Kell, you underestimate yourself. You’re not that selfish kid anymore. In fact, there isn’t a selfish bone in your body. Bullheaded, perhaps but definitely not selfish. Aw, man, not only have you looked after all of us, you’ve given us a place where we can be ourselves. You took that girl in without a moment’s hesitation. You even took Keegan back when you and I both know he doesn’t deserve it. God knows I wouldn’t have taken him back. Kell, you’ve been nothing but generous, especially with our little Becky. God, how could she not fall in love with you?”

  “All right, Crispin, you’ve made your point. You’re starting to freak me out here,” Kell said, suppressing a smile.

  “Just being honest…”

  Chapter 37

  Dorian didn’t know what the others had in mind, but he’d made his plan to make things right between him and Becky.

  There she is, hiding behind that tree trunk, thinking he hadn’t seen her. The girl could be silly beyond belief sometimes. He barely contained his laughter as he pulled up to the curb and got out of the van.

  “Ah, ha!” he said, sneaking around the tree. “Got you!”

  “Dorian!” she gasped, startled before blushingly guiltily. “What are you doing?”

  “I might ask you the same question.” He smirked, crossing his arms, leaning casually up against the tree. “Why are you hiding from me?”

  “I am not hiding,” she lied, averting her eyes from him.

  “Don’t lie to me.” He quirked a smile, bending to her level. “I saw you deke behind this tree when you spotted my van following you.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at her guilty expression. “Never mind that now. It’s cold out. Let me drive you home.”

  “I don’t need you to drive me home!” she stated, looking furtively from his friendly face to the puffy collar of his fleece lined bomber jacket. “I don’t mind walking, and I’m quite used to the cold.”

  “Nonsense…” He laughed, taking her hand and literally dragging her towards the van. “Go on, Becky, get in before someone thinks I’m abducting you.” He chuckled heartily as he hoisted her up into the passenger seat and shut the door.

  Becky sat fuming as Dorian got in beside her and started up the van. “Just who do you think are?” she challenged, reluctantly buckling herself in.

  “Your housemate? Your friend?” he said as he drove along.

  “I don’t have any friends,” she said, looking out the window, seeing him drive right on past their home. “Hey?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” Dorian said, patting her on the knee. “You have us, and you have me. Even though we haven’t been very good at showing it sometimes, you must know we do care about you.”

  “All you all care about are yourselves,” she said with a frown. “Now tell me where we’re going or pull over and let me out!”

  “Relax, Becky, I thought you’d like to come pick out a Christmas tree with me.” He let her jab go for now. He wasn’t looking for an argument, just to spend some time with her, away from the others.

  “A Christmas tree?” she repeated, suddenly realizing just how far into December it was. In her melancholy state as of late, she hadn’t even noticed. How odd, given that she’d always loved Christmastime. Then again with all that had happened lately, it shouldn’t surprise her.

  “Yeah, what do you think?” he asked, glancing sideways at her.

  “What kind of tree, and where will we put it?” she asked, slowly coming around.

  “Well, I don’t know, a regular one?” He chuckled. As far as he was concerned, a Christmas tree was a Christmas tree. “We usually put it in the living room by the old fireplace.”

  “Oh… that sounds like a nice place to put it, but won’t it get in the way of the television?”

  “Ah, we’ll make it work. Besides, it doesn’t have to be a big tree.”

  “No, I suppose not.” She shrugged as he pulled into the grocery store parking lot.

  “Here we are, Becky.”

  “Oh, of course,” she said, seeing the burlap covered trees out front. “I was afraid we were going to have to go cut one down.”

  “Uh… no. I’m not quite that adventurous. Besides, that would require spending a lot of time outdoors. If you haven’t noticed, I don’t much like being cold,” he said as hopped out of the van. “Come along, girlie.”

  The two of them walked silently side by side, looking like a most unlikely pair. The people they passed couldn’t help but stare at Dorian’s eccentric steampunk style of dress, goggles over his floppy mohawk, combat boots on his feet, visible tattoos creeping up his neck.

  Becky couldn’t exactly blame them for looking. He was quite striking. He wasn’t as beautiful as Crispin or as handsome as Kelley. His features
were more rugged and manlier for lack of a better word, but he had a sweet nature that reflected easily in his steely blue eyes. His obvious attractiveness was not lost on Becky, or the pretty checkout girl wearing a Santa hat.

  “How about this one?” Becky asked, pointing at a particular tree.

  “Hmm… a little too big,” Dorian winced. “Ah, ha, here we go.” He pulled up a smaller tree and stood it up next to Becky. “Just about your height, perfect. Won’t take up much room at all,” he said with a grin.

  “Dorian, stop trying to make me laugh,” Becky said, unsuccessfully suppressing a giggle.

  “Oh, but I live for making pretty girls laugh.”

  At his words, Becky turned pensive. He could literally see the wheels turning in her mind. His job wasn’t done here yet.

  “Now then, Becky, need anything else while we’re out?” he asked, having just placed the tree in the van.

  “No.”

  “Come on, a coffee or a hot chocolate perhaps?”

  “I don’t know… where?”

  “Well, we could go to the Second Cup, across the street.”

  “If you want to.” What was he all about? Why was Dorian being so friendly all of a sudden? She couldn’t help but be suspicious.

  “Oh, wow, a little enthusiasm would be nice,” he said stiffly, looking quite dejected. Zipping his coat up higher, he turned and walked towards the street.

  Oops, she must have offended him, she realized, biting her bottom lip. She couldn’t help but feel bad for hurting his feelings. Of all of her housemates, he’d always been so even tempered and good natured. It obviously took a lot to upset him, and she had done just that. She could tell that she had by his posture and the way he was avoiding looking at her.

  “Come along, we have a green light,” Dorian stated, digging his hands into his pockets while taking purposeful steps as they crossed the street. Oh, what was the point? He frowned as he walked. She obviously didn’t want to hang out with him. Not that he could blame her. He hadn’t exactly been there for her as of late. Still, he was going to try his best to get through to her.

  “What would you like?” he asked, holding the door for her.

  “Hot chocolate, please.” She automatically reached for her satchel.

  “Hey, it’s on me. Go grab a table, would you?”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I wouldn’t have offered otherwise,” he said, playfully tugging her knit hat off her head.

  Becky found a table by the window. She waited and watched as snowflakes started to fall from the sky. It was a pretty sight yet she couldn’t but shiver at the thought of the long cold winter ahead. Especially given the mood around the house.

  “There you go, Becky,” Dorian said, placing two hot beverages down on the small table.

  “Thank you,” she said, noticing him glancing out the window at the grocery store, towards the girl in the Santa hat specifically. “You should go talk to her.”

  “What? Who?” Dorian said, snapping out of his thoughts.

  “You know who I mean.” Becky raised an eyebrow at him and smiled when he practically blushed. “The girl with the Santa hat. I saw you making eyes at her.”

  “Don’t be silly. Besides, what would be the point? I don’t think I’m exactly her type,” Dorian said, almost sheepishly.

  “How do you even know that without at least talking to her?”

  “Look at me. Look at her. Come on, Becky. What are the chances?”

  “Are you saying that you only date Goth girls?” she asked with a pensive frown.

  “It’s not that I prefer Goth girls, it’s just that Goth girls aren’t as judgemental when it comes to me.”

  “I don’t think any less of you because of how you look.”

  “Yeah, well, you’re a special kind of girl.” He focused his attention solely on Becky. “Kell’s lucky to have you. In fact, we all are.”

  “Oh, please, don’t even go there. Besides, I don’t feel very special,” she said, staring at her cup of frothy hot chocolate.

  “You are special. We’re practically family. We hang out together, watch movies, read the flyers on Saturday mornings.”

  “Yeah, well, I used to enjoy all that before I realized how you all truly felt about me. I’m nothing more than a nuisance, a distraction. I thought you guys were my friends. But we’re not really friends, are we?” She shuffled awkwardly in her seat, averting her eyes from him. “Dorian, I don’t feel comfortable talking to you about this.”

  “Becky, of course, we’re friends. I am your friend.”

  “Then why… how…” she stopped, unable to form the words.

  “Speak to me, sweet baby,” he pleaded, reaching across the table for her hand.

  “I don’t feel I can be myself around you all anymore,” she said, wiping away a stray tear. “I’m so confused. I’m at a complete loss as to where I stand with you.”

  “Listen, all you have to know is that you are wanted, you are loved and you are respected. Speaking for myself, I can promise you that I think very highly of you and I like the way you are. I want you to be you. Please, don’t think that you have to change a thing about yourself. You’re the sweetest, cutest little housemate….”

  “But that’s just it!” she interrupted him. “I… I don’t want you to find me cute. The last thing I want is to lead you or the others on in that way.”

  “In what way?” he asked, squeezing her hand.

  “You know…”

  “Becky, don’t insult my intelligence,” he said, having heard enough. “I may find you attractive, and, yes, if you must know, I would jump at the chance to have a girl like you, but I also know that we are just friends. No matter how much flirting goes on in the house, I can promise you that nothing will ever happen between us. That’s because I am your friend first. Besides, I know where your heart lies.

  “Okay, Dorian,” she said with a reluctant smile. He could be quite persistent with those big blue eyes. Dorian was quite the contradiction at times. Outwardly, he looked tough and almost mean. On the inside, he was just a big playful puppy. Even now, with his ruggedly handsome face all contorted and pleading sincerity, he was impossible to resist. “I believe you and I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.”

  “No apology necessary. I’m just glad that we’ve cleared the air between us. Seriously, I’ve missed your smile, your laughter around the house. It’s been quieter than a crypt this last little while.

  “Sweet Dorian.” She turned her hand into his and gave his fingers a reassuring squeeze. “Thank you for this.”

  “Never mind all that. Just finish up your hot chocolate before it gets cold.”

  Chapter 38

  “Hey?” Becky murmured groggily. Out cold, she was, in her own bed when she felt herself being lifted up by a pair of very strong arms. It was still dark, probably only one or two o’clock in the morning.

  “Shh,” Kelley whispered into her ear.

  “Kelley… am I being abducted?” she protested weakly, hearing him chuckle deep in his chest. Which by the way, she was presently pressing her nose into. Oh, and another thing, the handsome Goth wore no shirt.

  “Missed you in my bed,” he murmured as he lay her down under his blanket and crawled in beside her. “That’s all.”

  Becky was suddenly quite awake and just a wee bit confused. What was he about? Sure, he’d been hovering around her lately, staring longingly at her when he thought she wasn’t looking.

  “I didn’t think I was welcome in your bed,” she said as he rolled with her so that she rested on his chest, he on his back, an arm around her middle. With his other hand, he played with her hair, looping his fingers around its locks.

  “You’re always welcome to share my bed, love,” he said huskily. Running his fingers along the curve of her face, he turned her chin up towards him. He bent his head and kissed her softly. He’d missed her. Everything about her, her lips, her smiles, her sighs…

  “Becky, I’ve been such an
ass.”

  “Yes, you have,” she said, suddenly hesitant. “To be honest, I don’t know where I stand with you.”

  “Love, I haven’t been very fair to you. I’ve said some awful things. But that’s all going to change now. That’s if you’ll give me another chance. Becky, I care so much about you.”

  To be honest, she’d forgiven him days ago. It was not lost on her how he’d tried without words to please her. Often hovering around her, hoping for a kind word or a glance in his direction.

  She could be quite surly in her own way, keeping her distance from him even though she could sense his need for reassurance. As tough as he pretended to be, she was well aware of the fact that he cared about her. It was plainly evident from everything he did. She never went without anything, from food to art supplies.

  The Goth had even started to make her lunches for her, even adding her favourite cookies for snacking. Every morning this week, she’d found her lunch caddy lined up on the kitchen counter. That’s when she realized that with Kelley, actions really did speak louder than words.

  “I’ve missed you too, Kelley.” She sighed, crawling up closer to his wonderful mouth, literally climbing on top of his chest so that the length of her body rested fully on his. “And I forgive you.”

  “Oh… thank God,” he nearly cried.

  “Let’s not be mad at each other anymore.”

  “There’s no room for anger between us, love.” he said, squeezing her to him.

  “Yes, Kelley…”

  “Say my name again, please.” He’d woken up moments ago with the hugest erection of his life. He’d been dreaming of her, of them together just like this. Like so many nights, he’d hoped that she would come to him. He’d tried to resist the urge to go to her, but in the end, he gave up the good fight. He was done fighting his want of her, his undeniable need of her.