Starlight

by Debbie Macomber

  His pride made him so defensive, Karen thought sadly. Knowing and loving Rand made her realize how much it had cost him to come to her.

  “There’s only one chair left in the apartment.” She gave a tiny laugh and wiped the last happy tears from her face. “I’ll have to sit on your lap.”

  The quizzical look on his face prompted her to add, “Everything else has been sold. I’m packed and ready to leave.” Her arms automatically went around his neck as she positioned herself on his knees.

  His hands tightened around her upper arms. “Were you so sure of me?” His look was weary, and there was a grimness in him.

  “I wasn’t sure of anything,” she said, defending herself. Her eyes narrowed questioningly. Certainly he couldn’t believe she had expected his return. In truth, she had never been more shocked in her life.

  “I want the wedding to be small.” The demand startled Karen. She hadn’t expected him to mention marriage, not yet. Not that it mattered how many guests attended.

  “Wedding?” Karen breathed in wonder as her heart soared with a new happiness. She began spreading kisses over his face, and fresh tears misted her eyes.

  “Your father wouldn’t accept anything less,” Rand murmured caustically. “Nor would you.”

  Karen was too happy to question his decision.

  They were married nine days later in Evan and Milly Forsyth’s home. The preceding days were a whirlwind of activity as Judy, Karen, and her godmother rushed to have everything ready. Karen saw Rand only once, when they applied for their wedding license, and if he was curt and taciturn, she attributed it to nerves and the pressures of teaching. Because Rand had a speaking engagement in New York scheduled for the weekend of their wedding, it was decided that Karen would travel with him on a working honeymoon. Rand’s mother lived in New York, and Karen was eager to meet her.

  As Rand wished, the wedding was unpretentious, with only family and a few intimate friends attending. The Forsyth home was decorated with garlands and several bouquets of fresh flowers. Their sweet fragrance lingered in the air, their colors vivid. Karen felt she couldn’t have asked for a more lovely wedding.

  As Randall Franklin Prescott and Karen Madeline McAlister exchanged their vows, Rand’s voice was firm and unfaltering. Karen’s voice trembled slightly as she repeated hers. Her heart swelled with a burning love. Marrying Rand was the culmination of every romantic dream she’d ever had.

  The wedding meal was served in the Forsyths’ huge dining room. If Rand was somber and unusually quiet, no one noticed, for Karen was so obviously happy. Her spirits soared with an unrestrained freedom, yet she had just uttered vows that bound her for life.

  It was late by the time they arrived at Rand’s home. The stars were out in an ostentatious show, their brilliance lighting up the black, velvet sky.

  As Carl carried in her cases, Karen looped her arm in Rand’s, savoring the beauty of the evening. “This reminds me of the night we met.” She smiled dreamily, placing her head against his upper arm. “Oh, Rand, I’m so happy … I love you so much.” She longed to have him take her in his arms and whisk her over the threshold, but he paused, holding himself stiff and unyielding against her.

  “My mother had a homemade sampler in the living room when I was a little girl. I’ve thought about it so often these past few days. I’d like to make one for our home.”

  Rand remained unresponsive, and Karen hugged herself to him. “Aren’t you interested in what it said?” she asked with a gentle smile.

  “I have the feeling you’re going to tell me whether I want to hear it or not,” he murmured.

  Karen laughed. “It said, ‘If you love something, set it free. If it doesn’t return, it was never meant to be. But if it does, love it forever.’ ” She gave a long sigh. “I let you go that night. It nearly killed me to let you walk out of my life, but you’ve come back, and now I’ll love you forever.”

  Rand jerked her arm from his. “That’s just the point,” he retorted angrily. “I didn’t come back. You forced me into this farce.”

  “Forced you?” Karen asked in confusion. “I didn’t show up on your doorstep. You were the one who came to me.”

  Rand gave a short, derisive laugh. “That I did, two hours before the deadline.” He stormed into the house, leaving Karen standing alone and baffled. When she followed him, Rand had already poured himself a tall drink from a decanter of whiskey.

  “I thought you said you rarely drink?” she asked accusingly.

  He snickered. “I find I can’t stand to be in your presence without something to dull my sense of decency.”

  “That’s a rotten thing to say.” What was happening to him? Why was he acting like this? Karen searched his face, hoping to find some clue of what was wrong. All she could read was contempt.

  “That’ll be all, Carl.” Rand broke into her thoughts. “I’ll call you when we’re ready to leave for the airport.”

  Carl’s eyes avoided Karen’s, although she silently pleaded with him; for what, she didn’t know.

  As soon as the front door closed behind her husband’s driver, Karen asked, “What … what did you mean when you said you came to me two hours before the deadline? What deadline?”

  His face twisted malevolently. “Drop the charade, Karen. You’re not going to fool me by playing dumb. I’d guessed you’d try something like this.”

  “Something like what? Rand, please, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  He emitted another sadistic laugh. “I walked into the whole thing like a lamb going to the slaughter. I have to admire you, Karen. You were more cunning than I thought possible.”

  “Rand?” she pleaded urgently. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Sure you don’t.” He tipped his head back and drained the glass. “I needed that.” Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he sat, leaning his head against the back of the couch. “Like a lamb to the slaughter,” he repeated. “You must have been frantic when you saw your little ploy wouldn’t work that night. You hadn’t counted on me handing you your walking papers so soon, did you? It was quick thinking on your part to pretend you’d hurt yourself. It got me into that bedroom.” He ran his hand over his eyes. “I should have known something was up when you were practically naked.”

  “I’d spilled wine on my dress,” she cried.

  “Sure you did.” His words were uttered in a harsh whisper.

  Karen paced the living-room floor, her mind racing, her thoughts confused. Nothing made sense, least of all the things he was saying. “Rand,” she whispered imploringly, “I’m going to ask you one last time. Please tell me what’s going on.”

  He sat upright, flexing his shoulders as if he were going to ignore her. “What did you expect me to do? Welcome you with open arms? I don’t take kindly to blackmail; I could hate you and your father for what you’ve done to me.”

  “Blackmail? Dad?” She glared at him, her face tightening with shock. Walking the full length of the floor, Karen poured herself a drink from the same decanter Rand had used, then choked and coughed after the first gulp. “Good grief, how do you drink this stuff?” Her eyes were watering, and she shook her head; her mouth felt as if she’d been sucking lemons. She moved back to Rand. “All right,” she murmured tightly, “let’s start at the beginning. I invited you to dinner—”

  “Like a black widow to her web,” Rand interrupted mockingly.

  Karen clenched her hands together, fighting the urge to scream. “I invited you to dinner because … because I had to know what was happening with us.”

  “Ha!” Rand laughed sarcastically. “More likely to lure me to your bed so your father could find us.”

  “So my father could find us?” She echoed one of the short, bitter laughs he’d given her. “Really, Rand, if I’d gotten you into my bed, the last person I’d want to see is my father.”

  “So you say,” he remarked flippantly.

  Karen studied him closely again, feeli
ng hurt and bewildered.

  “I have to admit your duplicity worked well. I wasn’t given much choice, was I? Since Evan Forsyth is your godfather, who do you think he’d believe?” His mouth twisted bitterly. “I haven’t got ten years in at the university; you knew that. I’d stand a snowball’s chance in hell of finding another decent position after Forsyth was through with me.”

  Even as understanding came, Karen refused to believe what she was hearing. Matthew had seen them together that night and was using what he’d witnessed against Rand, forcing him to marry her. She inhaled sharply. “The noise that night was Dad,” she said incredulously, her voice tight with embarrassment.

  “My contempt would be less if you’d admit your part in this.”

  “Damn it, Rand,” she shouted, “I am telling you the truth.” Suddenly, her knees became so weak she had to sit down. She sat tense and stiff in the chair opposite Rand as she pleaded with him. “Please listen to me.” She spoke softly, enunciating each word. “I swear by everything I hold sacred that I had nothing to do with this.”

  Uncertainty flashed across his face, wrinkling his brow. “I could almost believe you … almost.” His fingers twisted the wedding band, so recently placed on his finger, tying him to her. “But everything falls into place so neatly. You set up this trap for me …”

  “I didn’t, I swear,” she cried.

  “All right, you didn’t, but why was it when I came to your room, thinking you were hurt, that I found you half naked?”

  “I already explained that,” she pleaded. “I spilled wine on my dress. I had to take it off and soak it, or it would have been ruined. After I removed the dress, I bumped into the closet door.”

  “Your father just happened to walk in and witness that sordid little scene with us on the floor?”

  Karen felt sick. “Dad … Dad has a terrible habit of walking into my apartment unannounced.”

  Rand’s face turned sour. “Sure he does. You were so confident you had me trapped that you quit your job and packed your things.”

  “No! I’d decided to leave Tacoma … to move away.” Karen could see it was useless; she couldn’t argue or reason with him. Rand had already tried her and found her guilty. “Nothing I can say will make a difference, will it?”

  “That’s right,” he jeered. “I have to admit you play the innocent well, but I’ve fallen for your deceit once. I won’t be such easy prey next time.”

  A sick sensation churned her stomach; they could never build a marriage under the circumstances. “I realize you believe I was involved in this. I think I can even understand that.” She spoke softly, her voice barely audible. “The evidence certainly points in that direction.”

  “What takes the cake is that you even had the marriage performed at the Forsyth home,” he accused her again. “That was like rubbing salt in an open wound, my dear.”

  “That’s the point, isn’t it?” she asked, with pain-filled eyes. “I’m not your dear. You must hate me.” Karen didn’t know how she could sound so calm when she wanted to scream.

  Rand’s fingers tightened around the whiskey glass until Karen was sure the tumbler would be crushed into a thousand pieces. “I wish I could hate you,” he whispered in a tone that reminded her of the night he returned and admitted his love almost as if it were a guilty secret.

  “You once reminded me that we are two adults,” she began shakily, gathering her resolve, “and that we should be able to handle things in an adult manner.”

  Rand nodded curtly.

  “I can only apologize for my father’s behavior. I don’t know why he would do something so underhanded …”

  “Karen …” Rand’s voice rose threateningly.

  Despondently, Karen realized Rand thought she was placing the blame entirely on Matthew’s head.

  “Please, let me finish,” she asked, her voice stiff, polite. “I can only hope that someday you’ll find it in your heart to forgive Dad … and to think kindly of me.” She slipped the exquisite diamond from her long, slender finger and watched it slide off with a sadness she had never known. The ring had been on her finger for only a few hours, and Karen thought she’d rather have lost her finger than part with this symbol of their love. “I’m … I’m giving you the wedding ring back. I’ll begin annulment proceedings the first thing Monday morning.”

  Rand smiled stiffly as he accepted the diamond. “Maybe an annulment would be best.”

  “I’ll have my things moved out before you return from New York,” she said weakly, fighting back the first shock waves.

  Rand’s look became intent. “Where will you go?”

  She turned away from him, tilting her head back and blinking wildly to keep the tears from spilling. “I … I don’t know yet, but it won’t matter. Once the annulment is final …” She left the rest unsaid, the words stuck in her throat.

  Rand slouched forward, running his fingers through his hair. “You don’t need to leave immediately. I’ll be gone for the next three days. We both need time to think, to decide what we’re going to do. By the time I return, I’ll have the situation in perspective and a better grip on my emotions. I think you should do the same thing. We’ll talk then. Is that agreeable?”

  “All right,” she murmured tightly. “I’ll stay here for now and let my family assume I’ve left for New York with you. Maybe while you’re gone, I’ll come up with a solution to this mess.”

  “Until we decide, I’d like for you to keep the ring.”

  Miserably, Karen shook her head. “No … I don’t think I should. Marriage is something very binding as far as I’m concerned. My parents were married for twenty-seven years, and if I place a wedding ring on my finger, I think my intention should be for a lifetime … not a three-day weekend.”

  Rand frowned slightly. “Whether we stay married or not, the ring is yours.”

  “I’d prefer it if you kept it for now.” The ring would become very much like the bracelet he’d given her. Unless they stayed married, it could be only a painful reminder of what could have been.

  Carl drove Rand to the airport an hour later. If he was surprised that Karen was staying behind, he didn’t show it. Sadly, Karen stood in the open doorway as the car drove into the distance, watching until the lights faded and the car turned onto the main road. Rand’s farewell had been cool, but the open hostility was gone. For that, at least, Karen could be grateful. Rand’s face was drawn and tired as he stepped into the car, and Karen yearned to go to him and erase the finely strung tension between them. But she stayed where she was, watching him go.

  Her suitcase remained in the master bedroom, a room indelibly marked by Rand’s presence, and Karen avoided it as long as possible. Instead, she sat in the sunken living room, feeling lost and very much alone. Suddenly, she remembered this was her wedding night and could have wept with bitterness and disappointment.

  Shortly after midnight, it began to rain, a steady torrent with mounting fury that pounded sheets of rain against the windows. Thunder rolled closer and closer; lightning flashed in jagged arcs across the sky. How quickly the storm had come; only a few hours before, Karen had been staring at clear skies and brilliant stars. The storm was like the day. It had begun with such promise; she had entered Rand’s home as his wife, determined to do her best. Now, only a few hours later, her marriage was threatened, her life in turmoil.

  When the phone rang, Karen was surprised. “Hello,” she answered hesitantly. Surely Rand didn’t receive many calls after midnight. More than likely it was a prank call.

  “Miss Karen?”

  The voice was familiar, and Karen recognized it immediately. “Yes, Carl, it’s me.”

  He sounded awkward, as if he didn’t often use the telephone. “I was phoning to see if you are all right … the storm and all.”

  “I’m fine, thank you. I’m not frightened by thunder and lightning. Did … did Rand get off okay?”

  “I assume he and Miss Dibner were not delayed. I didn’t stay to see the flig
ht off.”

  Cora was with Rand. A sick feeling came over Karen’s stomach. She had endured so much this day, the whole gauntlet of emotions from utter happiness to abject misery. Knowing Cora was traveling with Rand was almost more than she could bear.

  “No, of course you wouldn’t wait to see him off,” Karen murmured, the lump in her throat building. “Thank you for your concern, Carl, but I’m fine.”

  “Let me know if you need anything,” he offered soberly.

  “I will.” Her voice suddenly sounded frail and wobbly.

  There was a pause on the other end of the line. “Good night, then.”

  “Good night.” She replaced the receiver, looking around her helplessly. Rand and Cora. The picture of them traveling together when it was her and Rand’s wedding night was almost more than she could bear. When the sobs came, she roughly jerked her hand across her face. If this was what love does, Karen decided, she wanted no part of it.

  Stiffening her back, she turned out the living-room lights and walked determinedly into the master bedroom. Ignoring Rand’s dominating presence, marked in every corner, she lifted her suitcase onto the king-size bed and took out her nightgown. It was a lovely full-length satin of pale blue that Judy had given her before the wedding. Karen took one look at it, stuffed it back inside the suitcase, and slammed the lid closed. Randall Prescott could fly across the country with another woman on their wedding night, but she … but she … The anger drained as quickly as it had flared.

  Karen sat on the bed and lightly ran her fingers along the pattern of the multi-brown-colored bedspread. For an instant, she’d been ready to run, to surrender without so much as a confrontation. She couldn’t stay, yet she couldn’t leave. Releasing her breath slowly, Karen wandered from the room and found two other large-size bedrooms and a den that Rand obviously used as an office. She moved her suitcase into one of the other bedrooms; sleeping in the master bedroom was an agony she couldn’t bear tonight.

  Karen woke early the next morning, her heart heavy. She sat up, deciding to get away from the house for a while and sort through her thoughts. Evidence of the night’s storm littered the yard; short branches of fir and pine from the trees that surrounded the property were scattered everywhere. Karen kicked them aside, her irritation so strong she failed to appreciate the freshness of the early-morning air. Heavy gray clouds continued to darken the sky, rain ready to pelt the earth at any time. Yet Karen noticed none of this.