Murder Breaks the Bank

by Maddie Cochere

  After Jackie assured him we would do just that, we left the bank and headed to Estelle’s Emporium of Wonders to find Pepper. She was there to help with some crazy event Mama had cooked up.

  We found her right away and filled her in on what had happened.

  “I miss all the excitement,” she whined. “So, Mr. Oakes went all nutso on Benny, did he? I always thought he seemed a little off. He never had patience with me or the kids when we were there. Sure, Keith upset him when he pretended to rob a teller, but he was just a kid then, and he was opening his first bank account. For all Mr. Oakes knew, Keith could be rich someday and make the bank a lot of money with his deposits.”

  I laughed at her indignation. Up until he was about seven years old, Keith was a monster and fully out of control everywhere they went. It’s a wonder Pepper didn’t have a full head of gray hair by now.

  I looked around and said, “It’s obvious Mama has some kind of seventies event going on here, so why are you dressed as a hippie from the sixties?”

  She adjusted her long dishwater blonde wig. A paisley scarf tied around her forehead held it in place. Her long caftan dress with faded yellow flowers completely obliterated her shape. It was too cold for sandals, but she was wearing them – with white socks.

  “This is early seventies and perfectly acceptable. Mama thinks I look nice.”

  “I never said you didn’t. I just think you look more like a flower child than a disco baller.”

  She made a humph sound. “If you want disco baller, go find Roger and Keith. They’ve got disco baller locked up.”

  “What exactly are you doing?” Jackie asked, looking over Pepper’s shoulder at the computer screen in front of her.

  “You already know Mama and Roger are branching out and selling items online. Mama thinks the money is in vintage items, and today’s promotion is junk … uh … I mean merchandise from the seventies. Anyone who brings in something from the seventies for Mama to sell online gets the listing fee waived. She’ll only charge a commission if the item sells. My job is looking up the value of the toys that have come in.”

  Pepper had a handwritten list of items in front of her. I peeked over her other shoulder. At the top of the list was a Rubik’s Cube in original packaging. The value projected on the screen was between fifty and one hundred dollars.

  “I’m just getting started,” she said. “Mama told the guy who brought this in that it didn’t qualify, but the guy insisted that even though it was released in the eighties, it was invented in the seventies, so it should count.” She pointed to the dates. “I agree with him, so he’s in.”

  “Who would buy a toy they can get in the store right now for probably less than ten bucks?” I asked.

  “Collectors,” Pepper said. “A lot of people don’t want something new. They want the exact item they had as a kid, and they want it in the original box.”

  “Makes sense,” Jackie said.

  “Mama said she sold a Pet Rock last week for forty-seven dollars. Can you believe it? A rock. She said it was that valuable because it was in an original crate with straw bedding.” Pepper looked heavenward and sighed. “Why can’t I invent something like that? Do you think there could be a market for a pet … uhm … I don’t know … sticks … stones …”

  “Broken bones?” I asked.

  She smiled. “No silly, but there has to be something.”

  Roger had slipped up behind us and was listening.

  “How about pet boogers? Get that boy of yours to start manufacturing them.”

  “Ewww, that’s disgusting,” Pepper said.

  “Who’s a booger factory?” Keith asked, walking in on the conversation. “I could give them a run for their money. Two years ago, I counted how many boogers I picked over the summer. My friend Joey kept track of his farts. It was an epic battle, but I won.”

  Pepper looked at him with her mouth hanging open. “Whose child are you?” she asked. “Why would you keep track of something like that?”

  Roger clapped Keith on the back. “Healthy competition. Good for you.” The two of them simultaneously struck a John Travolta Saturday Night Fever pose.

  My smile was so big, my face hurt. I finally broke into laughter. Not only was Keith a funny kid, but he and Roger had dressed alike today. They looked downright goofy with black Afro wigs, bellbottoms, and brightly colored shirts unbuttoned halfway down their chests. Keith wore a white t-shirt under his, but Roger was more than happy to expose more of the tattoos covering his body.

  Roger resumed a normal stance and looked at me. “Your mother wants to see you. She’s dishing up Jackie’s pies at the snack bar.” To Jackie he said, “Estelle wants to know if you can add half a dozen pies to her order next week – pumpkin, pecan, and mincemeat – two of each.”

  She nodded. “I can do that. I’m ready to start my own holiday baking, so adding extra pies won’t be a problem.”

  “Great,” Roger said. He clapped Keith on the back again, and as they walked away, I heard him ask, “Just how many boogers did you pick in one summer?”

  I left Jackie to marvel over the toy prices with Pepper and found Mama dishing up a slice of cherry pie to Arnie. He was on his usual stool at the end of the bar. I sat on the corner stool next to him.

  “So, this is where you spend your Saturday mornings,” I said.

  “Humph,” he mumbled through a mouthful of pie. “Best coffee in town. But don’t tell Parker I said so.” He looked me over for a few moments. “How you doin’? I ain’t seen you since the blast. You comin’ to work Monday?”

  “I’m doing fine, and I’ll be there. Did we get the loan officer job for BB&T?”

  He only half smiled. “I’m guessing you won’t be happy to hear we did.”

  “They might cancel the job.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

  “Hugh Oakes was arrested this morning for the murder of Oscar Preston. It looks like he lost money with Ellis Rich, too, and even made threats against him. Jerome Conner said Ellis was in the bank two days after he was. Hugh must have taken the cards, so only the power of attorney forms would stand. Then he planted the bomb knowing the next time Ellis Rich came in, he’d die and Conner would be blamed. He didn’t expect Oscar Preston to show up.”

  Arnie looked doubtful. “What’s wrong with that theory?”

  My eyes popped open wide. “Wrong? It sounds solid to me.” I stared at him with a blank look.

  “Think it through, Jo,” he said. “Go back over each detail you just told me. There’s a monkey wrench in there.”

  I didn’t have a clue and shook my head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. He went crazy when he realized he was found out. He even tried to blame Benny and choked the poor man.”

  Arnie groused under his breath, “Poor man, my tuchus. You think about this, and if you haven’t figured it out by the time you come to work on Monday, I’ll tell you.” He shoved the last bite of pie in his mouth.

  Mama walked up to refill Arnie’s coffee cup. “You want a piece of pie?” she asked me. “I still have a slice of blueberry.”

  I was doing my best, but it was hard to eat healthier when temptation was always around the corner. The bowl of oatmeal I had eaten before leaving the house kept me from giving in. “No thanks. Roger said you wanted to see me.”

  She leaned forward and said in hushed, melodramatic tones, “I have a lead for you. The ladies of the Blue Hat Society would follow up on this, but I can’t get away for a few days, and time is of the essence.”

  She looked to her left and right to be sure no one other than Arnie was listening. “Roger was in the loo Thursday afternoon. He likes to use the stall on the end so his unpleasant odors won’t float out into the emporium.”

  “TMI,” I muttered under my breath.

  “No it’s not,” she said. “You need to know why he was in the stall on the end, so when the guys who came in started talking about the Signa Delta Apple Pie, they didn’t know Roger was in there
.”

  Just as I suspected. Her lead was something goofy. A wild goose chase for me instead of her. A smile crossed Arnie’s face. I swear, I didn’t see how everyone thought Mama was so funny. I stared at Arnie.

  “What?” I asked him. “What’s so funny? She obviously doesn’t know what she’s talking about, so why is that funny?”

  His smile broadened. “Oh, come on. Your mother should have a standup comedy act, and you know it.”

  Mama’s eyes lit up. “Standup comedy. What a great idea.”

  “They have open mic night on Friday nights over at The Broken Nine Iron in Patterson Plaza,” Arnie said. “You have to sign up, but you can do whatever you want – sing, read poetry, comedy.”

  “How do you know this?” I asked.

  “When my sister was in town, we went to The Broken Nine Iron for dinner the night before she left. It was open mic night then. Addison managed to get herself on stage to belt out All That Jazz. She won a C-note.”

  Mama’s eyes were positively glowing now. “A hundred bucks. I could win that. I’ll start my act by telling about the time I walked up the aisle at church to receive a blessing from the pastor. I had the walking farts all the way. Old man Hodges started laughing, and the laughter spread through the church like wildfire.”

  I rolled my eyes so hard, the muscles behind them felt sprained. “Mama, you can’t tell your fart stories to strangers. They’re inappropriate and offensive.”

  She let out a loud pfftt sound. “No they aren’t. It’s self-deprecating humor. Everyone likes that, and everyone laughs at fart stories. It’s the law. That hundred bucks next Friday is mine.”

  “I’m surprised you went to dinner with Addie,” I said to Arnie. “I thought you were avoiding her whenever she was in town.”

  “I was. That’s why I waited until her last night to have dinner with her.”

  Mama set the coffee pot down on the warmer. “I have to find Roger. Maybe he’ll want to put an act together, too. Or maybe we can be a duo.” She was gone in a flash.

  I looked over to Arnie. “You do know you’ve created a monster, don’t you?”

  He chuckled. “Your mother is a natural. The audience will love her.”

  “Do you have any idea what she wanted to tell me about Roger’s eavesdropping in the loo?”

  He smiled broadly again. “Not a clue.”

  “I’m going to go. Tell Mama I’ll call her later. I want to get started on the housework before Glenn gets home, and I want to finish my notes on the Oscar Preston case. I think the murder charge against Hugh Oakes will stick. He had motive, means, and opportunity. Any good prosecutor will be able to make the case.”

  “Monkey wrench, Jo. Monkey wrench. Think on it.”

  I couldn’t fathom what he was referring to and shook my head as I walked away. After letting Pepper and Jackie know I would catch up with them later, I headed for the exit and heard Keith behind me, begging his mother to let him do a standup comedy act with his grandmama.

  I smiled and felt another wave of love wash over me for my family. As crazy as Mama made me at times, I loved the adventurous spirit of everyone in my family and realized I was actually looking forward to seeing what Mama came up with next Friday night.

  Chapter Ten

  I was surprised to find Glenn home when I walked in. He was seated at the kitchen table with a notepad and pen and appeared to be making a list.

  “Why aren’t you still at the station?” I asked. “Don’t you have a ton of paperwork after charging Hugh Oakes with murder?”

  He smiled. “Clay’s doing it. I don’t know if you remember, but I was supposed to be off this weekend. Clay and I got a reliable tip on a stalking case, so we had to follow up on that this morning, but I’m off now.”

  He reached out to grab me and pull me onto his lap. I always flinched a little when he did this. My weight was great compared to when I was shoving pizza and ribs in my mouth at every opportunity, but I still felt like I weighed too much to sit on his lap. I pushed the feeling away and allowed him to run kisses down my neck.

  “You did a good job this morning,” he said. “That wasn’t the outcome I was expecting when you called for Clay and me to sit in.” I could hear in his voice how proud he was of me.

  “It was the outcome I was hoping for. It makes perfect sense that the killer was a bank employee. Benny runs such a tight ship in his department, it would be nearly impossible for anyone other than Hugh Oakes to steal the signature cards.”

  Just saying the words caused a nagging feeling to surface in the back of my mind. Something about that statement was wrong. Was that what Arnie was talking about? Why couldn’t I see it? I needed to work on my whiteboard.

  I stood from Glenn’s lap. “You’re making a list?”

  “Don’t get mad,” he said. “I know I should have run this by you first, but it came up, and I said yes without thinking.”

  My stomach flopped over. I could probably handle anything other than a houseguest. I smiled. Whatever it was, I would be cheerful and accept the news graciously … unless it was a houseguest.

  “What did you get us into now?” I asked. “Naughty nurse might have to pack a few extra hypodermic needles in her bag tonight.”

  He pretended to look frightened. “It’s not that bad. No needles necessary. I only offered to host Thanksgiving dinner for your family this year. I’m making a grocery list.”

  “Is that all? Why would I be mad? I’d love to stay home on Thanksgiving and have everyone come here. Plus, we get all the leftovers.”

  “Wait. There’s more,” he said, sounding like a commercial.

  Now my spidey senses went up. The bad part was coming.

  “Hank and Nancy are coming home from Hawaii,” he said. “I told them they could stay with us.”

  The old me would have had a fit, but I was thrilled Hank and Nancy were coming home for the holidays.

  I threw my arms around Glenn’s neck and gave him a hug. “Awesome. It will be a blast having them here.”

  “Good, because they’re flying in next Saturday.”

  I did flinch at that bit of news. That was five days before Thanksgiving. I hoped we could all get along for a week.

  “What’s on your list?”

  “Everything. I’m doing all the cooking. I told your mother and Pepper to take a break this year and enjoy themselves. I commissioned Jackie for a few pies, but I can handle the rest.”

  He amazed me, and once again, I felt an intense wave of love for him wash over me. My eyes even welled up with tears. What was that all about?

  “You’re the best,” I said softly. “How did I ever get so lucky to have you for my husband?”

  He stood and gathered me into his arms. “I’m the lucky one. You make me happy, Jo.” He held me for a few moments before asking, “Want to go upstairs?”

  For me, the sappy moment passed almost as fast as it had come. “Yes, but not now. I wouldn’t be able to relax. There’s too much to do. I have to get the guestroom ready, do the laundry, and it’s my turn to clean the bathrooms.”

  “I’ll get the bathrooms. They’re easier for me than they are for you. Besides, I don’t want you to wear yourself out. If naughty nurse shows up tonight, I want her to be alert and on her game.”

  I threw my head back and laughed with delight. I was definitely taking him up on his offer to clean the bathrooms, and I had a few new ideas for naughty nurse later.

  After stacking two laundry baskets full of clothes and bedding, I snatched them up and made my way downstairs to the washing machine. When the first load was in, I stood in front of my whiteboard. It only took a few minutes to refresh my memory of the case details.

  I made notations that Jerome Conner was probably not only innocent, but a case against him would never stick. I also made a note that Ellis Rich was in the bank two days after Jerome was, but because the bank cards were now missing, Jerome may be lying about that to cover up the fact he stole money from the box when he was
there.

  Under Oscar Preston’s name, I added another question – Why was Oscar in Ellis Rich’s box in the first place? Why? I could try to talk with Ellis again, but it was doubtful he would tell me anything. Sergeant Rorski would have to officially question him and ask why he sent Oscar to the box.

  I resigned myself that we might never know why Oscar went to the bank that day. Sergeant Rorski would be thrilled to have a solid case against Hugh Oakes, and he wouldn’t want to follow up on any other leads.

  I let out a deep sigh.

  “What’s the matter?” Glenn said, coming up behind me.

  “I’m just wondering why. Why was Oscar Preston given a power of attorney from Ellis Rich to open his safe deposit box? He wasn’t one of his employees. He was a client who lost a lot of money.”

  “Maybe Ellis sent him there to grab some cash for himself. Maybe he was giving him back some of his money.”

  “Not likely. If it were found out he was giving refunds, he’d have a lot more people demanding their money back, too.”

  “He was picking up extortion money?”

  “That’s one of my theories. I haven’t had a chance to look into Oscar’s financial records yet, but he could have found out something about Ellis and his scam and was blackmailing him. That would explain why Ellis appeared delighted when he found out Oscar was dead. No more extortion payments.”

  “His financials might not tell the story,” Glenn said. “If he was getting payments in cash, he might have stashed them somewhere.”

  “Pepper and I were all over his bedroom. If the money was in there, we didn’t find it.” Our visit with Mrs. Preston surfaced in my mind. “I heard you were the person who notified Elsie that her son was dead. I’m sorry.”

  “She’s a strong woman. It was hard for her, but she seemed to handle the news better than most.”