Murder Breaks the Bank

by Maddie Cochere

  “Jot this down,” I said with more sarcasm. “Keith Swenson will be pledging this fraternity in about seven years. Be sure to let future classmates know he’s a shoo-in.”

  The words were out of my mouth before I had considered Pepper might not appreciate them, but I needn’t have worried. She threw her head back and laughed loudly, causing her wig to fall to the floor. Dick Number Two let out a bit of a girly scream.

  He recovered quickly. “That was unexpected. For a second, I thought your real hair fell off. Now that would be a trip.”

  Pepper snatched the wig from the floor and shoved it into her purse. She ran her fingers through her short, spiky hair to fluff it. It looked the same as it did when the wig fell off.

  “It was making my head itch anyway,” she said.

  Jackie took her phone from her bag and snapped pictures of new stainless steel appliances. Dick Number Two told us Dick’s mother had ponied up the money for them when Dick got an A on his first physics test. Of course, it was impossible to know which Dick he was talking about.

  I pointed to the cast iron skillets hanging from a rack near the stove. Jackie snapped a shot of them. If nothing else came of today, Mama could at least see the result of her skillet sale.

  Dick Number Two led us through the entire house. I was surprised to find it neater than I expected and nicely decorated. Even the majority of the beds were made. Our tour concluded in the basement, which housed the rec room. This room appeared to be ground central for big screen sports, pool, and foosball. Four full-sized refrigerators were side by side against one wall. I assumed they weren’t filled with soft drinks.

  Dick Number Two made a sweeping motion with his arm. “This is where we spend most of our time when we’re not studying. Pretty sweet, huh?”

  “Wow,” Pepper said. “Buck and Keith would love this.”

  “I’d tell you to send them over, but only fraternity members and pledges are allowed in here to play.”

  Jackie sidled up to him with her best smile on display. “Do you have pledges now?”

  “Six of them, but we’re only taking two. That’s where the other Dicks are today. They’ve got the pledges up at Treehorn Lake for a final test.”

  Jackie batted her eyes. “A test?”

  He grinned. “It’s a good test.” He looked at each of us. Pepper and Jackie appeared to be breathless waiting for him to give the details. I walked over to the foosball table and flipped a flipper.

  “Oh, what the heck,” he said. “The pledges have to strip naked, jump in the lake, and stay in for ten minutes. They don’t know it, but Dick plans to run off with their clothes and leave them stranded. At least they’ll think they’re stranded. That will last another ten minutes.”

  Jackie laughed, but Pepper had a mother’s fit. “In this weather? How could you do that to them? They could end up in the hospital with pneumonia. One of them could die. Their parents will have you brought up on murder charges.”

  He looked at Pepper with disdain. “Hey, it wasn’t my idea, lady. And they don’t have to do it. Only if they want in our fraternity. No one’s going to die.”

  A sharp look from Jackie kept Pepper from saying anything more. Jackie linked her arm through Dick Number Two’s and began walking toward the stairs.

  “Show me the back yard,” she said.

  “Will do,” he said. His smile was back as he followed her up the stairs.

  Pepper didn’t give me a chance to say anything. “I know. I know. I shouldn’t have lashed out like that, but those kids could be seriously hurt.”

  “Nobody will get hurt,” I said. “It’s not that cold out yet. Frostbite won’t be an issue, and it’ll be no worse than what people do in the Polar Bear Club. Come on. Let’s go look at the back yard. I’m ready to get out of here.”

  Dick Number One was waiting upstairs with his camera phone. He held it up and asked, “What cases are you working on now, ladies?”

  I gave Pepper’s arm a pinch to let her know not to say anything about the brick bandits. She turned and batted at me with both hands. “What’d you do that for? It hurt. I was only going to tell him we just finished our last case.” She turned to him. “It was a Brussels sprouts caper, and we caught the culprit.”

  She was such a baby. I didn’t pinch her hard.

  “Do you girls fight a lot?” he asked.

  “Jackie and I never fight,” Pepper said. “And Jo’s only contrary now, because she was nearly blown up in the bank explosion this week.”

  He lowered his phone and frowned. “What bank explosion? My current events class didn’t have any news this week about an explosion.”

  “Buxley Bank and Trust,” Jackie said. “A man was killed when he opened a safe deposit box rigged with explosives.”

  Dick Number Four had positioned himself on a stool near the kitchen counter. He looked up from texting on his phone and said to Jackie, “You’re the journalist. That sounds like murder. I read at least a dozen papers online every day. I never saw anything about this. Did your paper run the story?”

  Jackie appeared mildly disgusted. “There was a mention yesterday, but it’s not my story, and I didn’t write the article.”

  “But it’s our case,” Pepper told him. “It was our client who was blown up. That’s why Jo was there with him. She was protecting him.”

  Dick Number Two snickered loudly. “That was some protection.”

  “Hey, smart mouth,” I said. “I protected him just fine. Neither of us could have known about the explosives.”

  Pepper handed her new improved business card to each of the three Dicks who didn’t have one. “If you hear any gossip on campus about what happened, give me a call.”

  Before I could ask her why she thought anyone on campus would be talking about Oscar Preston, Jackie linked her arm through Dick Number Two’s again and said, “I have enough information for my follow-up story, but I’d like to note any changes to the back yard.”

  A new student walked into the room. He smiled at Jackie, took her arm from Dick Number Two, and said, “The back yard is my domain. I’m the grill master, caretaker of the pool, and you’ll see my engineering major on display in how everything is laid out.”

  This Dick seemed to have more clout than the others. Did fraternities have presidents? If so, his demeanor suggested he fit the bill.

  The other Dicks disappeared, leaving us alone with Dick Number Five.

  Upon stepping out the back door, Pepper immediately began oohing and ahhing. I had pictured an above ground pool and a couple of charcoal grills, not the lovely area before us. It didn’t appear there had been any flowers planted, but the trees and shrubs were well manicured and cared for.

  The yard went back at least an acre beyond the house. A basketball court was at the back of the property. An in-ground swimming pool that had been covered for winter was between the patio and the basketball court. The patio went from the back door all the way to and around the swimming pool. At the center of the patio, the fraternity insignia had been painted in blue on the bricks. The remaining patio space was taken by two expensive grills and several tables and chairs.

  “Wow,” Pepper said, running her hand across one of the stainless steel grills. “Which Dick’s mom paid for this?”

  Dick Number Five cocked his head. A frown crossed his face. “Excuse me?”

  Pepper smiled. “The Dick giving us the tour said one of the mothers paid for the appliances. I was wondering if one of the Dick’s parents paid for the grills.”

  “Gordon’s mother paid for the appliances,” he said. “I don’t know why you think he’s a dick.”

  Pepper looked offended. “I don’t think he’s a dick. He said his name was Dick. He said all the guys we met today were named Dick.”

  Dick Number Five threw his head back and laughed loudly before doubling over with laughter. “I can’t believe they pulled it off.” He laughed harder. “You three actually thought four guys in one house were named Dick.”

&nbs
p; Jackie and Pepper looked amused. I wasn’t.

  “No, we didn’t think everyone was named Dick,” I said with disgust. “It was obvious they just didn’t want to use their real names.”

  “I thought they were all Dicks,” Pepper said.

  Dick Number Five had another bout of laughter at her words.

  “What’s your name?” Jackie asked, pen poised to write the information down.

  He gave her a huge smile and said, “Dick.”

  “Oh, come on,” I said. “Give her your real name, so she can say nice things about you in her newspaper article.” I turned to Jackie. “Don’t you remember any of these guys from the last time you were here?”

  “Not these guys,” she said.

  Dick Number Five appeared sincere when he said, “I really am named Dick. My name is Richard Brooks. I’m the only true Dick in the fraternity. I came up with the idea of having the pledges all use the name of Dick, but the idea was shot down. I had no idea some of the guys would try it out on you.”

  “Well, Richard Brooks,” I said. “You’ve done a really nice job out here. This patio is beautiful. Where did you get all the bricks?”

  “Most of them came from the Patterson Brickyard. A few pallets were here on the property when we moved in last year.”

  I gave the insignia a closer look. “How did you do this? I thought this was painted, but the blue appears to have already been on the bricks.”

  “It took some planning, and the guys got tired busting up bricks for the right sizes, but it turned out pretty good.”

  Jackie beamed at him and placed her hand on his arm. “Pretty good? It looks amazing. You’re a genius.”

  “It was a labor of love,” he said, shuffling his feet on the bricks. “And I like working on things I love.” He stared deeply into her eyes as he said the words.

  I understood her wanting to get the Dicks to trust her, but this was over the top and bordering on freaky.

  “Are you also the genius behind the pledges?” Jackie asked. “Having them jump into Treehorn Lake naked is hysterical. I wish we could have been there to see it.”

  “Me, too,” he said. “I had to meet with my father this morning, so I couldn’t go, but yeah, it was my idea. I heard from Elliot it all went according to plan and no one drowned. The guys should be back soon.”

  Pepper realized what Jackie was up to and decided to help. She attempted to bat her eyes like Jackie had earlier, only the fluttering made it look like she had specks of dirt in each eye. “I’m impressed,” she said. “Getting the pledges to throw the bricks at car windows over in Buxley and not get caught by their police department was genius, too.”

  “Hey, those weren’t my pledges,” he said, holding his hands up in a stop motion.

  “Sure they were,” Jackie said. “Some of your Dicks were in Estelle’s Emporium of Wonders and talking about it. They said they were glad they were done throwing bricks, and they were delighted they got away with it. It was their final act before pledging Signa Delta Apple Pie.”

  Pepper laughed. “I bet they were surprised to find out they were swimming naked this morning.”

  Richard Brooks looked like a deer caught in headlights. He laughed a nervous laugh. “You’re not going to tell anyone are you?”

  “Nope,” Jackie said, smiling and sidling up to him again. “I’m only here for a follow-up to my story last spring.”

  “Thanks,” he said, letting out a huge sigh of relief. “It was just a college prank. Nothing was stolen and no one was hurt. Since all cars have to be insured in Ohio, I knew the damage to the windows would be covered.”

  “Genius,” Jackie said without enthusiasm this time. “You’re a real genius.”

  I looked at Jackie and Pepper. “I think that’s our cue to leave.”

  Pepper nodded. “I’m ready to leave this house of Dicks behind.”

  We didn’t bother going back through the house. We left Dick Number Five standing in the back yard and walked around the house to Pepper’s car out front.

  After I was buckled in the backseat, I asked Jackie, “Won’t this be a he said, she said situation?”

  “You know me better than that.” She held up her phone, pressed a couple of buttons and replayed the latter part of the conversation with Richard Brooks. “You don’t think I was fawning all over those Dicks because I thought they were cute, do you? I needed to stay close so my phone would pick up what they were saying.”

  Pepper’s eyes lit up. “Oh, I get it. When you told Dick you weren’t going to tell, you really weren’t, were you? You’re going to let him tell in his own words.”

  “Yep.”

  I put my head back to nap on the way home. With my eyes closed and sincerity in my voice, I said, “Genius. You’re a real genius, Jackie.”

  Chapter Twelve

  The odor of freshly baked zucchini bread filled the house. I breathed deeply and let out a satisfied sigh. I loved when Glenn baked.

  I walked into the kitchen and found five full-sized loaves and twelve mini loaves of the bread on the kitchen counter. One additional loaf on the table had already been sliced.

  “Wow. You’ve been busy this morning,” I said. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

  “You’ve had a stressful week. I thought it would do you good to sleep in. Besides, it’s Sunday. You deserve a day to rest.”

  “I appreciate sleeping in, but I thought we were going to help Mama at the Emporium this morning, and Jackie’s still available today to help work Oscar’s murder this afternoon.”

  He shook his head. “Jackie stopped by about an hour ago. She’s on her way to Pittsburgh. Harry wants her to cover a possible scandal in the making with the mayor and some construction kickbacks. She’ll be gone for a few days and said she’d see you Friday night at The Broken Nine Iron for Estelle’s comedy debut.”

  My eyes were still tired, but I rolled them as far upward as I could manage. “I can’t believe Mama is really going to go through with that.”

  Glenn chuckled. “She’s been trying out jokes on customers at the Emporium. She’ll be great.”

  I wanted to believe him, but I still had a sinking feeling most of her material would likely be from when Pepper, Hank, and I were kids. I had no doubt she would be funny, but our humiliation factor could be high.

  Glenn finished drying the recently washed loaf pans. “Pepper and the kids are helping at the Emporium. Your mother agrees with me that you need a day to rest and do nothing. She also said to tell you good job on following up on her lead, and don’t forget you owe her half the reward.”

  “Half? She told me she only wanted twenty-five percent. Who put the money up anyway? I’ve never known the Buxley Police Department to put up money of their own for any reward.”

  “First of all, no one said there was a cash reward. One of the town’s residents donated season tickets for two to the Buxley Playhouse.”

  “That’s actually not a bad reward. Tell Sergeant Rorski to go ahead and give the tickets to Mama. I think she and Roger will enjoy them.”

  Glenn looked at me as if he was expecting me to say something more.

  “What?” I asked.

  “That’s it? Give the tickets to Mama and Roger. They’ll enjoy them.” He shook his head. “No snide comments about Mama and Roger disrupting the shows with their bad behavior?”

  I laughed. “It might have crossed my mind, but I’m feeling charitable this morning, and I really do think Mama and Roger will enjoy the plays. If Roger hadn’t been in the loo at the Emporium the day the boys came in, they probably would have gotten away with it. So, it was a good tip worthy of the reward.”

  “All good points,” he said, walking over to give me a kiss. “What do you want for breakfast?”

  I gave him a duh look. “Are you kidding? Zucchini bread. Why’d you make so much anyway?”

  “I wanted to make a couple of loaves to freeze for Thanksgiving dinner, but I decided to make extra for us and then the mini loaves to give as
gifts.”

  I nodded my approval and smiled. He was such a domestic, and I loved him for it.

  My bag was still on the table where I had tossed it the day before. I slipped a slice of the zucchini bread onto a napkin and sat down. I dumped the contents of the bag on the table and began sorting objects while I nibbled on the bread.

  “What are you looking for?” Glenn asked, setting a cup of coffee before me.

  “Nothing. I want to get rid of some of the junk in here. I don’t know how I accumulate so much stuff, and my bag is too heavy now.” I plucked three lip balms from the pile and set two of them aside to start a do-not-return pile.

  Glenn picked up three full-sized notebooks. “Why don’t you use something smaller to keep notes in? These take up a lot of space and add weight.”

  “Those small notebooks are hard to write in and they fill up too fast.” I grabbed the books, tossed two on the do-not-return pile and started a to-be-returned pile with my current one.

  Glenn held up my stun gun. “How’s this working out for you? Is it charged?”

  “I keep it charged, but I haven’t used it in ages.” I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. The last time I used it was when I accidentally tased Glenn after thinking he was an intruder in my house.

  He sensed the change in my demeanor and tried to make light of the memory. “It wasn’t so bad when I tested it for you before. Want to give it another go?”

  I grasped his hand and pulled him over to me. “I still get sick to my stomach when I think about that day. It kills me that I did that to you. What if I owned a gun? I might have shot you.” I shuddered at the thought.

  He pulled a chair next to mine and sat to look into my eyes. “Of course you wouldn’t have shot me. You wouldn’t shoot blindly in the dark without knowing who or what you were shooting at.” He smiled. “It wasn’t that big of a deal, Jo. Quit worrying about it.”

  It was a big deal to me. Even though I had been tased once, and the pain was fleeting, I deeply regretted I had inflicted the same pain on Glenn.

  He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and glanced at the bag’s contents again. He pointed to a small notebook and said, “That’s more like it.”