Barbarian of Elysia

by Tom Gallier

  Even in the middle of the night, the flup-flups flew. Not nearly as many as during the day, but he heard one every few minutes fly by overhead. A baby started crying across the street, and numerous dogs barked their challenges to the world.

  It won’t be long, he thought.

  His dream body remained on real world timing. He couldn’t just go to bed at sundown and expect to go to sleep. Long, aggressive sex with Helene had helped, but he just woke up after an hour or so. There were no clocks, so he had no idea of the time. But the previous night he discovered everyone woke up in the middle of the night for an hour or two. Helene said everyone did, and was surprised it wasn’t his nightly routine.

  According to Helene, people mostly did chores around the house. Maybe ate something. Fed the baby. Planned the next day. Or, if they were in the mood… made love. He and Helene had chosen the latter, of course, so he was kinda looking forward to that fast approaching makeout session.

  He looked up and out the open window. A quarter moon hung in the sky, looking like the moon he knew from the real world despite having a reddish hue. If anything, that moon might be larger. And the people referred to it as the moon. Of course, they said it in their very Greek sounding language that he understood and spoke perfectly.

  This has to be a dream, despite it being so long, he thought. But how can I still be asleep with all that has happened to me? I always wake up when a dream turns into a nightmare and the chase begins. Not happening. I’ve had sex a bjillion times, and didn’t even threaten to wake up. How is that possible?

  He stiffened. What if the Hardcourt Manor staff drugged his food? They did seem quite intent on his going to bed. Was he even now lying in that big bed, hooked up to IVs to keep him alive, while some sinister hallucinogenic drug drip kept him in this dream world? All so they could slowly strip away his fortune?

  Angry shouts out in the street, followed by the sounds of a scuffle and a doubling of the barking dogs, roused Alex from his building panic attack. He wanted to look out the window, but didn’t want to wake Helene, or lose that intimate contact. In a way, she was his anchor.

  And she’ll be gone in day or two. What will I do? I’ll have to find a way to earn money to pay for a room like this. He grinned. Just when I become filthy rich in real life, I get drugged and forced to live in a dream world where I once again have to work for a living. There is no justice in life.

  A cool, delicate hand stroked his belly. Helene breathed in deeper, and then she shifted to look up into his face. Her smile made him feel all warm and fuzzy.

  “Can’t you sleep?” Her whispery, sleep-drenched voice sounded so sexy.

  “No. I’m trying to work out my problems,” Alex said.

  “Which are?”

  He hesitated. First, he didn’t want to show any sign of weakness to such a strong and independent woman. Second, how could he explain the issue in a way she wouldn’t think he was batshit crazy? Helene would never believe she was a figment of his imagination.

  “Well, two days ago the king’s men pulled me unconscious from the river,” he said. “I must’ve fallen in and nearly drowned or something. I don’t recall how I got there.”

  “Jealous husband, I’m sure,” she quipped and dug tickling fingers into his ribs.

  He grinned as he yanked her hands away. “In a perfect world, that’d be true. But I don’t know. In fact, I don’t remember anything prior to being pulled out. I do know my name is Alexander Hardcourt, but they claimed to know me as Har, Champion of Jarn. So I took Jarn as my homeland out of convenience.”

  Helene sat up and regarded him with concern. “I’ve heard of head blows stealing memories. Maybe you should listen to those men, and go up to Jarn. If you really are Har, then maybe being back in your homeland among family and friends will help return your memory.”

  More shouting out in the streets drew both of their attention. There wasn’t so much outdoor activity the previous night.

  “Not a bad idea,” Alex said. “This is going to make you think I’m crazy, but I don’t remember anything at all about this world. What is it called?”

  “You’re in the Sybaro Lands, near the Great Sea,” she said.

  “No, what is the entire world called. All of the lands combined,” he asked. “What do the gods rule over?”

  “Well, everyone has their own gods,” she said. “The Sybari Gods rule over the Sybaro Lands and the Sybari people. Up north were you live, you worship the Nine Gods of War. The elves worship Mother Elysia. Oh! Elysia! Our whole world, with all the seas and lands, is called Elysia. Does that help?”

  “Yes. You are a Sybari of Elysia, and I’m a…”

  “You’re a barbarian of Elysia,” she laughed, clapping her hands. “My big, beautiful barbarian.”

  The sound of running feet outside took them both to the window. One group of shadowy men was chasing a smaller group. Dogs were barking while chasing after them all.

  “You sure live on a noisy street,” he said.

  “Not usually. Something’s going down. I can feel it in the air.”

  “Magic?”

  “No, survival instinct,” she said. “Get away from the window. It’s best to lay low on nights like this.” She lay back on the bed, spreading her legs. “In fact, I want to hide underneath you. I’m sure you can figure out some way to make that happen.”

  The snake tattoo on her leg began to move. He froze, watching it in fascination. Was their lovemaking so amazing because she was using magic to enhance it?

  “Helene, what does your snake tattoo – what the fuck!”

  An elderly man’s face appeared in the window. Alex fell off her, reaching for a sword he wasn’t wearing. Helene just frowned and stood up, striking a pose with arms akimbo.

  “What’s going on, Isidore?” she demanded. “Can’t you see I have company?”

  Alex watched Isidore’s eyes rake her naked body several times. Yeah, Isidore was old but he wasn’t dead. His eyes lingered on her breasts.

  “I came to warn you,” Isidore said, still gawking at her boobs. Alex understood why, because he had a hard time not staring at them even when she was clothed. But it really ticked him off to see the old guy ogling her like that. “The palace guards are looking for you and your friend.”

  “Is that what all the activity outside is about?”

  “Yes,” he said, finally able to look up into her face. “They don’t know exactly who you are, are what your names are, but they brought lots of coin to loosen lips. And, sweetheart, you’re the only witch with a big blond barbarian right now.”

  “Dammit. Someone will talk. Tonight,” she said, nodding. Helene took Isidore’s face in both hands and kissed him. “Thanks, Isidore. You’ve always been a good friend.”

  “As have you,” he said. “I saw Wraith sail in today. Get aboard and let Tiana protect you. Tonight.”

  And then he was gone. Just like that. Alex heard his soft pad fading away down on the street a second later.

  “A friend of the family?” Alex asked.

  “Personal friend,” she said. “He taught me Heavy Lift magic.”

  “I thought it was just that tattoo.”

  She gave him an annoyed look. “Because you don’t understand magic. We don’t have time for a lesson.” Helene pointed to the top shelf. “Get me that pack and get dressed. We’re leaving and not coming back.”

  The pack proved to be an undyed leather knapsack. Not very big at all, so he didn’t see how she’d be able to put even a quarter of her clothes inside. But it proved a lot heavier than anticipated.

  “This thing’s already full,” Alex said. He held it out, measuring its weight. “What do you have in here, gold bullion?”

  “Never ask a girl what’s in her Keep All,” Helene said, snatching it away.

  “Keep All? You mean a purse?”

  “No, a purse is where you keep your money. You put everything else in a Keep All,” Helene said, and then drew an elaborate symbol on its flap with her fin
ger before she opened it. He watched her quickly stuff everything she owned into that small knapsack. “Why are you just standing there? Get dressed.”

  “How the hell are you…”

  “Magic. You’ve never seen a Keep All before?”

  “Are they expensive?”

  “Very. Get dressed, or I’m leaving you behind.”

  Alex only had his dirty trousers, boots, and sword belt. He finished before Helene, who donned tight, bright red leggings, flat-heeled knee boots that laced up snugly, a ruffled yellow, off the shoulder halter top, and then pulled a sword belt out of her Keep All. Just like that.

  He gawked at the wide black belt, with short sword, belt knife, and six throwing daggers. There was no way that could fit inside a knapsack that size. The sword’s length was many times the knapsack’s depth. She noticed his look and shook her head.

  “Magic. Get over it.”

  “I want one.”

  “Everyone does.”

  Someone started pounding on the home’s front door. Alex started to peek out the window, but she pulled him back. Angry shouts erupted inside and out. The men in the street demanded entrance in the name of the king.

  “Let’s go.” She turned and rushed through their curtained door.

  Alex thought they’d go down and out the back, but Helene went up another notched log stair to the roof. It surprised him to see three families sleeping up there, all roused by the banging and shouts.

  “What’s going on, Helene?” a young woman asked.

  “My friend and I made the mistake of rescuing Princess Thaleia from slavers, so now the king wishes to thank us in the traditional way.”

  The others all nodded grimly.

  “Come along, lover,” Helene said, and took off running.

  Her last step was up on the low wall enclosing the roof, vaulting her onto the next roof over. Alex heard the front door crash open down below, so took off after her. He landed just inches from a middle-aged couple going at it like young lovers.

  “Sorry, carry on,” he said, and looked across that roof just in time to see Helene leaping over to the next one. “Hey, slow down!”

  It took him eleven houses to catch up, leaving him huffing and puffing. Fortunately, she needed to rest as well. So far, there wasn’t any indication the authorities had figured out they’d escaped via rooftop.

  “Are we going to your ship?”

  “No. The captain would have my head if I brought a stranger on board,” she said. “I have a few bolt holes. Tomorrow, I will help you find passage out of the city, before I go join my crew.”

  “So I really can’t come with you?”

  She hesitated, a pained look on her face. “First, my bunkmate, Nicanor, would not appreciate it. Secondly, the crew might just cut you down without a second thought before I can argue your case to the captain. Only the captain is allowed to bring strangers aboard. It’s her ship.”

  Alex nodded. So, he’d be on his own. Kind of scary, but then he hadn’t done so badly so far. Maybe he could find a job on a flying ship, and thus see his dream world. It didn’t seem like he’d be waking up soon.

  I wonder what happens to me if I get killed in my dream? Will I die in real life? Or will I just start a new dream, or nightmare?

  Chapter 8

  Alex sipped his morning tea while sitting in the inn's window and watching the street below. His lover of the last two days and nights reclined within his arms, both of them still damp from vigorous sex. He didn't know how he got to that world, but it obviously wasn't a dream. And really, his life had never been so incredible.

  “Would you go and wait for me if I told you where my next layover would be?” Helene asked.

  He sighed. She might be worth the effort and wait. Unfortunately, Helene was committed to set sail later that day on a voyage she expected to take two to three years. Maybe longer. She said they always took longer.

  “You know I can't wait that long,” he said. “Are you sure they won't take me on?”

  “I’m afraid to ask. On my first voyage, the ship’s cook brought her lover onboard when we picked her up, saying he’d be killed if left behind. The captain killed him herself, kicking his dead body back down the gangway. And then at our next port of call, she threw the cook overboard and hired a new cook.”

  “Well, that sounds harsh.”

  Helene shrugged. “Female captains have to be ten times tougher than men to earn the respect and obedience of the crew. Not fair, but it is what it is.”

  Maybe, but he thought she could find other ways to be tough. That just sounded mean-spirited. It made him glad Helene didn’t want to try.

  “I’ve never said this to anyone before, but I’m going to miss you all the way into my bones,” Helene said, getting misty eyed. “I don’t know how you did it, but I… I… Oh hush.”

  “I didn’t say anything.”

  She elbowed him in the ribs for that. “I said hush.”

  He wrapped his arms around her and hung on tight. “If it’s any consolation, I feel the same way. I haven’t felt this sad in a long time.”

  “Ha. You say that after telling me you lost your memory.”

  Then a retinue of guards approached below surrounding a family of nobles. He could tell they were nobles, because they only wore gold jewelry and tiny bits of cloth. The father looked early thirties, with a gold penis sheath half as long as the king’s had been. There were probably laws regulating length.

  “A man could take out and eye with those things,” Alex joked.

  She laughed. “Yes. I’ve been poked in the eye more than once.”

  Wait, that meant she was… Alex shook away that thought.

  “His wife is gorgeous. I haven’t seen a blonde woman in Kandos,” he said. The mother of two toddlers had a glorious mane of golden blonde hair that cascaded in waves across her tan shoulders, and down to her knees. The early morning sun lit her hair up gloriously, too. He noticed just about everyone down on the wharves turned to gawk at her. And she was soaking it all in like the goddess she was.

  It didn’t hurt that all she wore was a thin gold wire filigree bra around her jostling milk-laden boobs, and the tiniest of golden triangles over her most private patch. She wasn’t even trying to hide her swollen nipples. She was the first noblewoman he’d seen wearing flat sandals, though of gold.

  The two toddler boys wore golden kilts, each being led by the hand of a parent.

  “That’s actually one of the princes. There are over a dozen, so I don’t know which one he is,” Helene said. “Nor do I care. His wife is probably a northern princess. No Sybarite woman looks like that. Oh, look at her ears! She’s elven.”

  That was exciting. She was the first elf Alex had ever seen. Heck, he barely remembered there were elves, orcs, goblins, and such on that world. Apparently, they all lived in places far from Kandos. He idly wondered if there were centaurs and minotaurs in that world, too. That would be cool.

  They watched them board the royal barge. Others were already onboard. Looked like a party on the river today. He wondered if King Talos and Princess Thaleia would be coming soon. He kind of wanted a last look at the princess before he left the city forever.

  Further down the wharves, just at the edge of his sight, Wraith waited. Helene’s eyes were pulled toward the ship every few minutes. Soon, they’d leave to find him passage on another ship. And that would be the end.

  The whole thing felt wrong. He worried about Helene. Alex was pretty sure something illegal was going on. Heck, even the name of the ship – Wraith – sounded sinister. She would not confirm or deny the ship smuggled illegal goods. She just changed the subject.

  So earlier, he’d dropped the subject when she started getting uncomfortable.

  “Oh well, it's another beautiful day in Kandos. Perfect day for a pleasure cruise on the river,” he replied. “Is the weather ever bad here?”

  “Not often, but when it turns bad, it's really bad,” she said. “Mud bricks homes don't fare we
ll when it rains too much.”

  Their mud brick homes were covered with plaster, which was white-washed. The plaster protected the mud bricks underneath, but if it cracked or was otherwise damaged, they would know it when it rained.

  The previous nights’ discussions with Helene had proven informative. Alex now knew exactly where he was. The world, apparently, was called Elysia. He was in the city-state of Kandos, on the Pharra River. There was a sea a day's voyage downriver, called the Great Sea. Apparently, according to Helene, it was the largest of the Three Seas that separated the Three Lands.

  Since everyone seemed to have Greek names, in his mind he was in Greece. They called the land Sybaro, and the people the Sybari, but they were ethnically Greeks. It was partial confirmation knowing that blondes and redheads came from the northern forests, or barbarian lands. Well, technically, the Sybari considered anyone not from the Sybaro Lands to be barbarians.

  Since she was setting sail that day, Helene had to visit the nearby temple to their Sky God first thing that morning and make an offering. He tagged along, and even made an offering of a single bronze coin. Helene’s offering was a small cloth sack with what he estimated held twenty such coins.

  After their prayers, Helene gave him a short tour of the temple. There was a mosaic map of the known world covering the floor. He quickly determined the people of Kandos mostly didn't understand the concept of continents, so just called the three giant land masses “Lands.” There was the Northern Land, upon which Kandos sat on the south-eastern edge. The continent below them was called the Southern Land, and the one stretching out to the east was, of course, the Eastern Land. The map failed to show the entirety of any of the Lands.

  The Three Lands came together across what they called the Inner Sea. A large island occupied the eastern end of the Inner Sea, called Qûm.

  “Can you at least tell me which of the Three Lands you'll be voyaging to?”