Taking It All

by Maya Banks

  Maybe a town house. Something small and homey without a lot of maintenance. There were plenty of upscale neighborhoods in the Woodlands with housing ranging from apartment complexes to duplexes and townhomes. She’d rent at first until she figured out a solid plan to support herself. No matter that she would be entitled to a settlement from Tate in the divorce, she still needed to evaluate her career options.

  She had a business degree and had job experience in a marketing firm, but she hadn’t worked anywhere in the five years she and Tate had been married. In hindsight it had been incredibly stupid of her to give up everything and depend solely on her husband for support, but at the time she’d found it wildly romantic that he was so determined to provide for her every need.

  Setting aside thoughts of divorce and her lack of independence, she finished packing what she wanted from the bedroom and Jensen lugged it all out to the car while she and Kylie did a sweep of the rest of the house.

  On the fireplace mantel in the living room was a photo of her and Tate looking so happy that it hurt to look at it. Her hand hovered over it, wanting to take it, to be able to recapture a time in their marriage when they’d been in love and deliciously carefree. Before work had consumed all of Tate’s time and attention and she’d slipped in his priorities.

  She closed her eyes. Could she really blame him for wanting to make a success of himself? Was she being selfish for not being more understanding?

  No. That may have been true before the night at The House. But it was inexcusable for him to have left her at her most vulnerable when she was defenseless against another man’s actions. But then did she share in the blame for participating in a kink they both enjoyed and had shared in multiple times before the other night?

  Finally making her decision, she carefully picked up the photo and stuck it under her arm before reaching for her wedding album from the built-in shelves on either side of the fireplace.

  There were other photos. Vacations. Honeymoon pictures. Candid shots that had been taken in unguarded moments. She was infused with longing for those simpler times when their focus had been each other and there were no worries about jobs or careers or anything except loving and being.

  “I’m done,” Chessy quietly announced as she deposited the stack of picture frames and photo albums into Jensen’s waiting hands. “We can go now.”

  Kylie put her hand on Chessy’s shoulder and squeezed in silent support. “I’ll call Joss and tell her we’re on our way. She’ll probably be at the house waiting when we get there.”

  “Thank you,” Chessy said softly. “Thank you both. I don’t know what I’d do without such good friends. Having to do this alone . . .” She closed her eyes, unable to finish her statement.

  “You won’t ever have to do it alone, Chessy,” Jensen said in a determined voice. “You were there for Kylie when I was a dumbass. You were there for Joss when Dash was a dumbass. So now Tate is the one being the dumbass. It all turned out well for Joss and Kylie so maybe there’s hope yet for Tate.”

  Chessy attempted a smile but failed miserably. Compared to Tate’s “fuck-up,” Dash and Jensen’s paled in comparison. There was never any doubt in Chessy’s mind that the two men adored their women, and even when they pulled their stupid male moves, she’d known that it would turn out just fine in the end.

  Before the night at The House, Chessy had felt optimistic about her future with Tate. She’d truly believed that they’d incurred a minor hiccup on the way to happily ever after. But when a husband turned his back on his wife when she was at her most vulnerable to take an after-hours business call, what else was she to think other than that their marriage was well and truly over?

  TWENTY-TWO

  TRUE to Kylie’s word, Joss was waiting at Jensen’s house for her. As soon as they pulled up, Joss got out of her car and rushed over to Chessy’s side of the car, pulling her into a ferocious hug the minute Chessy stepped out.

  “Oh Chessy, I’m so sorry,” Joss said, tears thick in her voice. “When Kylie told me what happened, I couldn’t believe it. I want to kick Tate’s stupid ass!”

  Despite her misery, Chessy couldn’t help but smile at Joss’s vehemence. Her heart squeezed with love for her two best friends.

  “I love you,” Chessy said sincerely. “Thank you for coming. I hate to burden you when you’re so miserable with morning sickness.”

  Joss scowled, her brow furrowing in disapproval. “If you weren’t already down and out I’d kick your ass for saying that. I will always be here when you need me. God knows you’ve been there for me countless times.”

  They all turned when they heard a car pull up.

  “There’s Dash now,” Joss said. “I called him when Kylie texted me to say you were on your way and he left work to meet us here.”

  Chessy sighed. She knew it was inevitable that her entire group of friends would learn of the demise of her marriage, but being confronted by everyone at once was overwhelming.

  Dash got out, a deep scowl on his face as he strode toward Chessy and Joss. Not even bothering to greet his wife first, he immediately pulled Chessy into a fierce hug, squeezing her against his muscular frame.

  “I’m going to kill the bastard for this,” Dash said darkly.

  “Not if I kill him first,” Jensen muttered.

  Dash pulled away and gently pushed a strand of Chessy’s hair behind her ear. “Are you okay, honey? Is there anything I can do?”

  “I’m okay,” Chessy said quietly. “Kylie and Jensen have taken good care of me and Kylie let me cry all over her earlier. At this point I’m out of tears and if I cry one more time I think my head may explode.”

  Sympathy darkened Dash’s eyes. “I’m so sorry this happened. I wish Tate would have pulled his head out of his ass a hell of a lot earlier. There’s no excuse for what he did.”

  “I know,” she said sadly. “Leaving him was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I couldn’t stay. He made a choice last night and it wasn’t me. If there was any hope for our marriage before, it died a quick death then. It made me realize I took too long to accept that our relationship was doomed.”

  “Oh sweetie,” Joss said, wrapping her arm around Chessy’s waist. “I’m so very sorry. I don’t even know what to say to make you feel better.”

  “There’s not much you could say at this point,” Chessy said wryly. “How’s the saying go? Time heals all wounds? I guess I have to hope that’s true in my case. But I really wish I could press a Fast Forward button and jump to the part when everything is okay again.”

  “Come on inside, ladies,” Jensen said. “We’re standing outside where the whole neighborhood can see us. Dash and I will cook dinner while you girls relax in the living room. I’ll open a bottle of wine, or something stronger if you prefer, and you’re perfectly welcome to get as shit-faced as you like. Well, except you, Joss,” he added with a grin. “Don’t want to get the baby drunk!”

  Joss and Kylie flanked Chessy, each wrapping an arm around her waist as they herded her toward the door. Once inside, they deposited Chessy on the sofa while Jensen and Dash headed for the kitchen to begin supper preparation.

  True to his word, Jensen popped open a bottle of wine and poured glasses for Kylie and Chessy and then set the bottle on the coffee table with another unopened bottle in reach.

  “Guess he expects us to imbibe a lot,” Kylie said dryly.

  “I’ll drink enough for me and you, Joss,” Chessy muttered. “Just keep pouring.”

  Joss reached for Chessy’s free hand—the one not holding the wineglass. “Have you thought about what you’re going to do? You know you’re welcome at my house any time. You can stay as long as you want. We certainly have the room.”

  “I don’t know,” Chessy said helplessly. “I stood in my house just earlier and thought about how weak and dependent I’ve become. I have a degree and job experience but used neither in the five years I’ve been married to Tate. I have no means of supporting myself, which is so incredibly st
upid I can’t even begin to go there. I have to be the poorest example of womanhood on the planet. The thing is I’d be the first one to advise a woman to make sure she can stand on her own two feet and to never depend completely on a man. And yet I gave up everything because I thought it was so sweet and romantic that Tate wanted to take care of me. I was so caught up in the lifestyle we led that I never considered that I’d need to be self-sufficient. Not only does it make me hopelessly naïve, but it makes me the dumbest woman on earth.”

  “Stop being so hard on yourself,” Kylie said in reprimand. “We’ll help you get back on your feet. You can’t expect to have all the answers in a day. What you need to do right now is give yourself some time. Lean on us and let us help you. Joss and I will be with you every step of the way and we’ll come up with a plan.”

  “Absolutely,” Joss said firmly. “For the next few days all you need to do is sit back and take stock. There is no hurry. We’ll make a list of things that need to get done. Dash knows a divorce attorney and we can consult with him if that’s still what you want to do after you’ve had a few days to think on it. You don’t need to make hasty, emotional decisions. Then after you decide if you want to proceed with a divorce we’ll figure out your job options and a place to live, although you’re welcome to stay with either us or Kylie and Jensen for as long as you want.”

  Kylie nodded her agreement.

  “You need to be sure this is what you want,” Kylie said quietly. “Divorce is a huge step. You obviously love Tate and I am not disputing the fact that he royally fucked up, but are you certain there can be no reconciliation? I know he has a lot to make up for, but I also believe he truly does love you.”

  “I don’t doubt he loves me,” Chessy said in a low voice. “But sometimes love isn’t enough, you know? His actions don’t back up his words. Time and time again he’s chosen something else over me. I’ve done all the giving in our marriage and he’s done all the taking. I’ve supported him unconditionally. I’ve given him my submission, my heart, my soul. What else is there for me to give except forgiveness? I’m not sure I can this time.”

  “You make a very good point,” Joss admitted. “In your shoes I honestly can’t say what I’d do. But no matter what you decide, I support you one hundred percent and I’ll always be here for whatever you need.”

  “The same goes for me,” Kylie said resolutely. “And Jensen. Whatever you decide, no matter whether I agree or not, we are behind you. We’ll do whatever you need us to. True friendship has no boundaries. No parameters. And certainly has no conditions. I love you like a sister—you are my sister in my heart—and I’ll never forget how supportive you were of me when my relationship with Jensen was just beginning. You held my hand through it all. I’ll never forget that or be able to repay you for your love and friendship.”

  Chessy set her half-empty wineglass on the coffee table and then reached for both their hands, squeezing with heartfelt love. “I love you both so much. A woman has never had truer friends than I do.”

  “Soup’s on,” Jensen called from the doorway of the living room. “You girls ready to eat?”

  Chessy didn’t have the heart to tell him that the very last thing she felt like doing was eating after the effort he’d gone to in order to cheer her up. With a sigh, she pushed herself up from the couch and followed Kylie and Joss to the kitchen where Dash was finishing up setting the table.

  Dash pulled a chair out for Chessy and dropped an affectionate kiss on the top of her head as she sat.

  “You’re going to get through this, honey,” he said. “I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but you’re a beautiful, strong, loving woman. You’ll survive.”

  • • •

  ACROSS town, Tate stared broodingly out the window of his living room, admitting to himself that he was watching for Chessy. Hoping against hope that she’d change her mind and come home to him.

  No doubt she was at Joss’s or Kylie’s surrounded by the unconditional support of them and Dash and Jensen. Jensen had been rightfully pissed and furious with Tate. He hadn’t taken it well at the time because he’d known Jensen had been justified in his reaction. The truth was hard to swallow. It was painful and direct. And it cut straight to his heart.

  He’d failed Chessy yet again. Time after time he’d let her down. He’d put her in serious jeopardy, her safety, her very life in danger, and that was unforgivable. He knew it was unforgivable and yet he couldn’t face the possibility that Chessy wouldn’t forgive him.

  His greatest fear was that he’d pushed her too far this time. That he’d used up his allotment of second chances. Hell, not even second chances. More like third, fourth and fifth chances.

  He rubbed his face wearily. Sleep eluded him. All he could do was sit here, phone in hand, sending her text after text, begging her to answer her phone. To talk to him. To come back home and give him yet another chance.

  Each text had gone unanswered. The last time he’d tried to call her it had gone straight to voicemail, signaling that she’d turned off her phone. The rejection cut him to the core.

  Tears burned his eyelids and he rubbed impatiently at them, refusing to give in to the overwhelming despair that crowded his heart.

  He had some serious damage to repair. Starting with his career. He had to prove to Chessy that she could count on him going forward. Whatever it took. He’d made several calls to other financial advisors who’d expressed an interest in partnership after his last partner had bailed.

  Pride had made him refuse. He wanted to become a solid success on his own, but now he realized that he was sacrificing what mattered to him most with his stubbornness. He had enough clients to take on at least two partners. With the clients they’d bring, they’d have plenty of accounts to spread among the three of them. And he would have more time to devote to Chessy and their marriage. Provided she gave him the opportunity.

  All he could do was set into motion the partnerships and hope for the best. Words were useless. Until now his actions hadn’t supported his words, his promises. It was time to show Chessy instead of telling her. He refused to give up and go quietly away, allowing her to walk out of their relationship.

  This would be the biggest fight of his life, but one he was fully ready to wage. There would be no holding back in his bid to win Chessy back. Her love, her faith, her trust. He wanted it all. And in return he’d give her his all.

  TWENTY-THREE

  THE next few weeks were a test of endurance for Chessy. She was surrounded by Kylie and Joss as well as Jensen and Dash and their unfailing support, and God knew she needed it because Tate was persistent in his campaign to win her back.

  Flowers arrived daily. Chessy had gotten on a first-name basis with the florist who delivered each bouquet. Equally prevalent were gifts. Earrings—she was admittedly an earring whore—a delicate necklace, and handwritten notes, each recalling a memory in their marriage.

  She was at her breaking point emotionally. Tate had, for all practical purposes, declared emotional war. Everything he did pulled relentlessly at her heartstrings. Made her remember much happier times. If only he’d exerted half as much effort before as he was now they wouldn’t be living apart in separate beds.

  What was she supposed to do?

  Kylie and Joss had resolutely thrown their support behind Chessy, vowing to murder Tate in his sleep if he didn’t cease with the emotional warfare. It had gotten to the point where Chessy hated answering the doorbell to greet that day’s delivery. Perhaps what she needed to do was move into her own place and not give out the address.

  It seemed like the cowardly thing to do, but she wasn’t prepared to face Tate. In the two weeks since she’d walked out on him, she hadn’t seen him. Oh, it wasn’t for lack of effort on his part. He’d gone first to Joss and Dash’s house, thinking she was staying there. Joss had immediately called to warn Chessy that he was likely on his way to Kylie’s and, sure enough, he’d knocked determinedly on the door only to be greeted—and turned aw
ay—by a scowling Jensen.

  It hadn’t deterred him, though. He’d continued his relentless assault and Chessy imagined had she left the shelter of Kylie’s home to go anywhere, Tate would probably make an appearance and cause an embarrassing public scene. Not that he’d intend to make a scene. He’d never do anything to humiliate her. But he would likely beg her to give him another chance and then make her look like the biggest bitch who ever lived when she refused. Publicly.

  So she’d remained inside Kylie’s home, not venturing out for fear of running into Tate. And that pissed her off. She was a total coward. A spineless, gutless idiot for allowing him to dictate her every movement.

  It was high time she took back control of her life and stopped living in fear of the inevitable confrontation with Tate. It would have to be done sooner or later. She couldn’t avoid him forever. But she simply couldn’t decide her own fate. One day she’d be convinced that she needed to set an appointment with the divorce attorney Dash knew and the next she’d back down from that conviction and float in the direction of not being positive of such a huge step yet. Once in motion, there was no going back. Having Tate served with divorce papers would be so . . . final. And she simply wasn’t sure if she was ready for that.

  And added to that, she was coming down with some sort of ugly stomach bug. She couldn’t look at or smell food without gagging. She was listless, run-down and she wasn’t sleeping at night. And Tate’s daily onslaught was wearing on her.

  Her anxiety had gotten so bad that she’d actually made a doctor’s appointment so she could be prescribed medication to help calm her. She cringed at the very thought of having to be dependent on medication for her emotional stability but at the same time she was desperate for some sense of normalcy.

  Since Kylie was working, Joss was coming over to take Chessy to the doctor. Chessy had protested, saying she didn’t need someone to hold her hand through a doctor’s appointment, but Joss had firmly told her that there was no way in hell she was letting Chessy go alone. In the end Chessy had caved under Joss’s insistence and was now waiting for her to arrive.

  When Chessy heard the car pull up, she went outside to meet her. Joss had just gotten out and looked decidedly green. There was a pallor to her face that made Chessy feel instantly guilty.

  “Joss, you look awful, hon. Why don’t you go back home and go to bed? I can drive myself to the doctor’s office for God’s sake.”

  Joss waved a hand in front of her face. “It’s nothing. I promise. Mornings are just terrible for me but I can’t stay in bed for my entire pregnancy even if that’s precisely what Dash would prefer. I swear he’s like a mother hen. One would think no other woman in the world has ever been pregnant before! He acts like I have a terminal illness. Although I will say being waited on hand and foot is a very nice perk of this pregnancy.”

  Her eyes twinkled merrily, some of the color returning to her cheeks. Chessy hugged her just because. Joss’s good spirits were infectious. She was so sweet and kind it was impossible not to be cheered just by her presence.

  “Well thank you,” Chessy said. “I’m always glad to have your company. We better get going. I don’t want to be late.”

  Joss snorted. “As if you being late will make a difference. It’s not like doctors are ever prompt in seeing patients. You could probably arrive thirty minutes late and still have to wait.”

  “True enough, but you know I hate being late.”

  Joss rolled her eyes. “Is that a dig at me and the fact that I’m perpetually late for everything?”

  Chessy laughed as she slid into the passenger seat of Joss’s car. “Would I do something like that?”

  “Yes!”

  It was a fifteen-minute drive to the doctor’s office though it wasn’t that far away as the crow flies. But there were an insane amount of lengthy traffic lights and they caught every single one of them.

  Half an hour later, Chessy sat in shock as her doctor delivered very unexpected news.

  “You’re pregnant, Mrs. Morgan,” her physician calmly stated.

  “What?” she squeaked.

  Chessy felt faint and then her dizziness gave way to utter panic. Pregnant? But she was on birth control. She tried to think back. Had she taken her pills on her anniversary weekend when things had been in such upheaval? It had to have been then. She and Tate had made love that weekend. Before that it had been awhile.

  “You look very distressed,” the doctor said in a concerned voice. “Is someone here with you? Should I summon them?”

  “No,” she murmured. “I’ll be fine. It’s just a shock. I was—am—on birth control.” Then another thought hit her and she stared anxiously up at her doctor. “I’ve continued to take birth control. Will that hurt the baby?”

  “Well you certainly need to discontinue them,” he advised. “But I doubt you’ve done any harm to the fetus. You’ll need to get an appointment with an obstetrician so they can do a sonogram to determine your due date. And they’ll want you to go in for routine prenatal care. I can give you a referral unless you already have someone in mind.”

  Her head was spinning trying to process the bombardment of information. Pregnant. Separated from her husband. A husband she now had to tell she was pregnant.

  A few minutes later, she stumbled back into the waiting room where Joss sat. Joss took one look at her and her brow furrowed in concern. She met her halfway across the room, putting an arm around her for support.

  “Chessy, what’s wrong?” Joss demanded. “What did the doctor say? Did he give you a prescription for something to help your anxiety?”

  Chessy closed her eyes. “What he gave me was more anxiety.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I’m pregnant, Joss.”

  Joss stared at her in shock. Her mouth fell open. “Oh my God, Chessy. What are you going to do? I know how much you wanted children but Tate wanted to hold off.”

  “I didn’t do this on purpose,” Chessy said fiercely. “I know we talked about it at some point before Tate and I separated. But I acknowledged that a baby wouldn’t fix our problems. I’d never purposely become pregnant with our relationship in the shape it was.”

  “I never thought you did this on purpose,” Joss soothed. “But hon, the timing is horrible. Tate is going to want you back more now than ever.”

  Tears gathered in Chessy’s eyes. “I don’t want him back because of the baby. I want him to want me. To put me first. I have no doubt he’d put his child first. Is it selfish of me to want that priority over my baby?”