Sweet Evil

by Wendy Higgins

  A prickle went up my spine. She came and sat down, putting her hand on my knee as if holding me there, as if I would run from her. She spoke faster now.

  “I woke up the next morning and told my husband about it, but he said I’d lost my mind. And, in a way, I had. All I knew was that I had to get to you no matter what. I bought a ticket for myself and I begged him to come with me, but he wouldn’t. By the time I got home with you, he was gone. He remarried a year later. But I had you and that was all that mattered to me. Do you believe me so far?”

  “Yes, of course.” But even so, my brain was rapidly firing denials against the irrational ideas. I took her hands in mine, hoping to calm her.

  “Before they let me take you, one of the nuns who ran the orphanage talked to me. Her name was Sister Ruth. She was the oldest person I’d ever met, at least a hundred years old at that point. She told me she’d been waiting for me and she could sense I was the right woman to raise you.”

  “What was that supposed to mean?” I whispered.

  She paused, studying my face. “Raising you would require extra care, because you’re more than human, Anna.”

  I’d always known I was different, so why did it sound like complete madness?

  “Then what am I?” I asked with apprehension.

  “Your parents were angels.”

  I let out a nervous spurt of laughter, but stopped when Patti didn’t crack a smile.

  “Your mother was an angel of light, and your father was...”

  “Was what?”

  “A demon.”

  I had to force myself to breathe.

  “That’s not possible,” I whispered. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”

  “Every single thing Sister Ruth warned me about has come true. You told me when you were three years old that you remembered being born. And then all of the other things happened one by one, just like she said they would.”

  “You knew about all of that?” I was shocked. No wonder Patti never asked any questions. I’d always thought it was strange that she didn’t take me to the doctor for tests when I started getting migraines from the developing senses, given her level of protectiveness over me. I thought maybe she didn’t trust doctors with her special girl.

  “I’m sorry I never told you.” Patti choked up now. “It never felt like the right time.”

  I tried to make sense of it all in my mind. There had to be some logical explanation. But hadn’t I been trying for years to come up with logical reasons for being able to do the things I did?

  “Maybe she was an insane old lady with psychic powers or something,” I reasoned.

  “Then how do you explain the supernatural things you can do? She said when you got older you’d be able to see the guardian angels, too.”

  I thought about that and was struck with a blinding moment of realization.

  “The white clouds!”

  “You can see them?”

  I sat up straight and watched Patti’s cloud. It appeared to be laying its misty hand on her shoulder. I couldn’t make out any features. It was just a hazy blur. Could it really be an angel? I held out my hand and watched as the cloudy hand flitted down from her shoulder and rested in my palm. I couldn’t feel it, but I was overwhelmed with tremendous peace and understanding before it pulled away.

  “You see, Anna?” Patti said, watching me intently. “It’s all true. There’s no one else on earth like you. There are others similar to you, but they’re only half of what you are. This is important, Anna. Focus on me.” I was still staring at her guardian angel, but I forced my eyes to hers.

  “The others who are like you are all children of demons, Anna, demons and humans. Raised by those very demons themselves. So that means this boy you met...”

  Where is your angel? Kaidan’s words came back to me.

  “He’s half demon,” I whispered.

  It all came together, hitting me sharply in the chest and slithering through me like a flood of cold water.

  “I should have told you sooner.” Patti’s tears came now, but I was too shocked to cry with her. “I’ve been selfish. I knew once I told you, there was no going back. Things would change forever. And there are so few of these half demons on earth. What were the chances you’d meet one?”

  “I’m not mad at you,” I said. I couldn’t focus on one particular emotion when so much was firing away inside of me. “I just don’t get it. Demons and angels? Really? I mean, come on! This is... it’s...”

  She walked to my dresser and picked up my Bible. I took a tissue from my nightstand and handed it to her. Patti dabbed her eyes and sniffed, then cleared her throat. She sat down and opened the book in her lap. Passing it to me, she pointed to Genesis, chapter six, verse four. I read it out loud.

  “‘The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—and also afterward—when the sons of God went to the daughters of men and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.’”

  I looked up at her, hoping she might explain.

  “I’ve done a lot of research over the years,” she said. “The sons of God are the angels. The daughters of men are simply human women. A Nephilim is the child of a heavenly angel or a demon. Demons are merely fallen angels. You are a Nephilim.”

  The word seemed familiar.

  “I thought Nephilim were giants. Like Goliath.”

  “It does mean giant, but you know how the Bible is.” She gave a watery smile. “It’s hard to tell what you should take literally and what’s only metaphorical. It’s easier for people to think of them as a race of actual giant people that have come and gone, or as some genetic mutation. Scripture is full of references to angels and demons, but even believers tend to think of them as fable and fantasy. It’s hard to wrap our minds around so many things we can’t see.”

  “But I don’t get it. How could angels or demons have children? They’re spirits, right?”

  “They have to possess somebody.”

  Eek! Demon possessions. This was getting worse and worse.

  “I asked Sister Ruth a lot of questions, and she tried to explain the angelic hierarchy. There are messenger angels, like the one who came to me. The guardian angels are the most nurturing of the souls, chosen for their obedience. They can’t interfere in human lives unless they’re sent divine power to do so. If it’s not someone’s time to die, the guardian angels can perform healing miracles or prevent disasters. Otherwise all they can do is try to soothe our pain. It’s actually very beautiful to think about.” Her eyes stared off wistfully, and I realized she’d spent a lot of time thinking about it over the years.

  “I had so many more questions for Sister Ruth, but there just wasn’t time. She gave me a message for you.” Patti’s hands shook as she took the Bible from me and closed it. “She said you’d need to go to her as soon as you were mature enough, which you are.”

  “Okay, yes. Definitely.” I needed to meet this Sister Ruth. “Did she say why?”

  “She wouldn’t tell me. She has knowledge she’ll share only with you, and it would be too dangerous to write it down. She also said you need to...” Here she closed her eyes and seemed to struggle. “... to see your father.”

  It took a lot to make me mad, but thinking of my “father” made me angry now.

  “I don’t want to see him.”

  “I know. I told her I was against it. The thought of you being in the presence of a demon makes me sick. But I’ll tell you what she told me. She believes your parents were in love. And all angels are capable of the full range of emotion, even the fallen ones. So if he could love your mother, an angel of light, couldn’t he love you, too?”

  I thought of his face on the day of my birth as he watched my mother die and her spirit ascend. Yes, he’d loved her. And his eyes had shown no ill will when they looked upon me that day either. But still. All these years without a single word...

  “How did the nun know all this?”

  “She said she’s one of a kind on earth, lik
e you, only different from you and the others, though she didn’t explain how. Sister Ruth was definitely special. She had a peaceful presence, like you. I’m sorry I don’t have more information, Anna. It was a lot to take in that day.”

  “It’s okay, Patti.”

  Part of my brain, the realistic part, didn’t want to believe a word of what I was told, but the other half, the heartfelt spiritual part, knew without a doubt it was the truth. My heart usually led the way. But I was aware enough to know that when it all sank in, I would be terrified.

  “Did she say anything else about, like, my nature?”

  “You’re not evil, if that’s what you’re wondering.” She grabbed my hand and pulled it to her lap, holding it between both her own. “Your ability to feel other people’s emotions comes from your mother. All guardian angels can see and feel human emotions. From your father you’ll have a tendency toward a particular sin, but she didn’t know which one.”

  Oh, I was pretty sure I knew. Hello, drugs and alcohol.

  “But not evil,” I stated, for the record.

  “No, honey, not evil. An evil soul rejects the goodness and love naturally embedded in us from being made in the image of our Creator. You’ll have to fight harder than the average human against temptations, but you can do it. You’re basically a regular girl, but you feel everything stronger, both the good and the bad.” She paused, looking down at my hand in her lap and rubbing it. “Do you forgive me, Anna?” she asked. “For not telling you sooner? I always thought it would make things harder on you if you knew, but now I don’t know whether I did the right thing.”

  “I forgive you. I’m not mad.” I leaned forward and hugged her. As we held each other, all of her actions during my entire life came into perspective: the extreme protectiveness to sustain my innocence and keep me hidden, the nurturing without question. I squeezed her tighter, realizing how much she’d given up to raise me. She pulled back now.

  “This is why I always encouraged you to call me Patti instead of Mom. I know it sounds silly, but I didn’t want to take that title away from your real mom when I knew she’d be looking down on you. For all intents and purposes, Anna, you are a daughter to me, and I couldn’t love you more.”

  I wiped a falling tear from under my eye, and whispered, “I know.”

  “So, I have a plan.” She smoothed a hand over my flyaway hair, becoming practical once more. “I don’t have any money saved right now after helping out Nana with her doctor bills, but if I start saving now, we should have enough to make a trip to California by the end of the summer. How does that sound?”

  “Great. But I want to get a job, too.”

  “Deal. It’s a date, then.” I felt a wave of eagerness as we shook hands. “Now that I’ve told you everything I know, why don’t you tell me all about these superpowers of yours.” We both smiled, excited to finally be able to talk about it.

  “Oh, wait. One thing, before you start. I need you to make me a promise.” Her face went hard. A smoky light gray nervousness blended with the pastel green of hope in her aura.

  “Okay.”

  “Promise me you’ll stay far away from the boy you met.”

  I opened my mouth and hesitated. Her guardian angel, as cloudy as it appeared, seemed to stare down at me, waiting.

  “Please, Anna,” Patti said. “It’s not safe. There are things I can’t protect you from, so you’ve got to make smart decisions to protect yourself.”

  “But—”

  “No.” She swiftly cut me off. “I’m not sure what’s up with your father, but you can be darn sure the other demons are evil. Pure, real evil. And this boy was raised by one of them. Understand? I need your promise.”

  I swallowed hard. “I promise.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CONSEQUENCES

  I could not stop thinking about Kaidan Rowe.

  I wondered exactly what it entailed to be the child of a demon. One without the balance of an angel side. He had been helpful and kind to me the night of the party, in his own brutish way.

  Knowledge of what I was only fueled the fiery need within me to know more. I had so many questions. Patience was a virtue I’d never had a problem with until now. I needed to stay busy. Getting a job was first on my priority list.

  I went to Paula’s Dairy Bar just outside of our neighborhood, within walking distance, and was hired on the spot. The owner’s only rules: Smile. And don’t give away my ice cream for free! Yes, ma’am. I could manage both of those.

  I worked and tried to keep my mind occupied. I jogged every day, sometimes twice, read a lot of books, and spent time researching on the internet about angels and demons. I had no idea whether anything I read was true or if it was all just folklore.

  A month passed, and I now had a couple hundred dollars saved. We were getting closer. But no amount of keeping busy could make me stop thinking about him. He was so near. I was sure he had at least some of the answers to my questions. But I had made a promise.

  Patti was being her usual cautious self, but if Kaidan intended to hurt me, he would have done it, right? She was imagining him as something terrible, but if she met him, she’d see he was just a kid, only special, like me. I sat tapping the phone with my finger, debating, then picked it up and dialed.

  “Hello?” he said.

  “Hi, Jay.”

  “Hey, princess of Popsicles! Queen of curlicue cones.”

  “Nice alliterations.”

  “Thank you very much. I try. So, what’s up with you?”

  “Actually, I was wondering if, um...”

  “Yeeees?” he said. I bit the inside of my lip.

  “Is Lascivious playing anytime soon?” I blurted.

  Complete silence.

  “Jay? Hello?”`

  “Sorry, I just passed out for a sec.”

  “Very funny.”

  “You wanna see Kaidan,” he teased.

  I exhaled into the receiver. “Yes. I do. I want to talk to him. This is going to sound really random, but I think our dads might know each other.”

  “Really? That is random. How do you figure?”

  “Just some things he said when I talked to him, and some things I’ve found out from other people since then. Anyway, are they playing soon?”

  “They’ve been playing venues around the state and in Alabama some. Let me hit up a few people and I’ll call you back.”

  “Thank you.”

  I hung up and walked around the apartment, straightening things here and there, trying to pass the time. I didn’t have any set chores. Patti and I always did whatever needed to be done at the time. I took out a duster and made my way around the house, barely noticing what I touched with it. When the phone rang, I dropped the duster on a shelf and ran.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey. They’re not playing around here for another two weeks, but I know their practice schedule.” Jay’s band-stalking tendencies were coming in handy. “They practice at Kaidan’s place. Greg says there’s this whole sweet setup in his basement for the band. According to Greg, Kaidan always has the house to himself.”

  “Where’s his dad?” My stomach dropped at the thought of his demonic father.

  “His dad works in New York City. He commutes in his own private jet. Crazy, huh? I don’t know how hard it’ll be to get into the band’s practice, but I can take you, just to see.”

  That sounded horribly awkward, but it was all I had to work with.

  “Okay,” I told him.

  There were people pouring out of the front doors. Jay had gotten us through the Rowes’ private gate by telling the man on the speaker we were friends of Kaidan’s. Judging by the number of cars, a lot of people came to watch them practice. It looked like they’d had a miniconcert or a party. Jay stopped his car on the side of the circular driveway lined with vehicles. There was a fountain in the middle of the circle, directly in front of an enormous house made of gray stone, with hundreds of rose vines lining the giant arched doorway and windows. It
was as close to a castle as I had ever seen, only there was no Prince Charming waiting inside.

  “Want me to come in with you?” Jay asked.

  “It might be better if I talk to him alone.”

  “That’s cool. There’s this instrument store out here I’ve been wanting to see anyway. Just call me when you’re ready for me to pick you up.”

  “’Kay, thanks.”

  I got out and walked up to the door, passing people who were leaving. When I lifted my hand to knock, the door swung open. The lead singer of Lascivious, Michael, stood there in tight black jeans with a swanky girl under his arm.

  “Practice is over,” he said, brushing past me.

  “I just need to talk to Kaidan,” I said. He shrugged, walking away.

  “Suit yourself,” he said over his shoulder. “He’s downstairs. Probably busy by now.”

  I walked into the wide-open foyer filled with gleaming hardwoods and a grand staircase. I felt like an intruder as I followed the sound of voices through a dining room with elaborate china place settings, to an open doorway with carpeted stairs leading down. Two girls in miniskirts came up the steps, one of them stomping her feet and cussing as she went. Sounds of percussion began in the basement, following the girls upward.

  “If you’re here to see Kaidan,” the angry one said, “don’t bother.” She pushed past me and continued a tirade against him as they walked away. “I am never calling him again.”

  “Whatever,” her friend said. “You’ll be calling him tonight.”

  I stopped, contemplating turning around and running from the house. The bang of each drumbeat coming up from the basement matched the deafening thud of my heart in my ears. I forced myself to move forward, and then down the steps one at a time. I stopped at the bottom and surveyed a basement that put Gene’s to shame. It was bigger than my whole apartment. I stepped into the massive room and closed the door behind me.

  Part of the room to the right looked like a miniature movie theater, complete with three rows of leather stadium seating and a giant screen. Right in front of me in the middle was a tiki bar area with tall tables and stools straight out of a Hawaiian scene. To the far left were two long couches in front of a stage with speakers, microphones, and drums in the center. The drums were currently being used. And used very well, I might add.