Bittersweet

by Jannine Gallant

  “I’ll get you for this, Tess,” he called.

  “You should pay more attention to what you’re doing,” she yelled back. “I think Nathan has that pig cornered.”

  “Not on your life!” Turning, he lunged for the pig just as Nathan made a grab for it. The two men went down in a spray of mud, and Billy Sorenson scooped up the squealing prize.

  “I have it,” he shouted. “I won!”

  Tess leaned over the side of the pen, smiling at Nathan and Daniel. “Was seeing my ankles worth all this?”

  “Yes,” both men said in unison, and she burst into laughter.

  The afternoon’s games were over. Tess jiggled Emily and shushed her when she began to cry.

  “Do you want to go back to your folks for supper?” Nathan asked.

  She nodded. “Emily needs a nap. If she doesn’t have one, she’ll be miserable this evening.”

  “Go, then. I’ll stop by later to escort you to the fireworks. It will give me a chance to wash off the mud.”

  She looked over at Daniel. He picked up his shirt and boots with the tips of his fingers. “Are you going home?”

  “I’ll have to.”

  “You can clean up at the sheriff’s office if you like,” Nathan offered. “It’ll save you a trip to the farm and back.”

  “Maybe I’ll do that.”

  Feeling uncomfortable standing between the two men, Tess hurried off after Wesley and Nora. At her parents’ house, she nursed Emily and laid her down for a nap. With a gentle hand, she stroked her daughter’s auburn hair back from her forehead and kissed her soft cheek. Quietly, she left the bedroom.

  Tess found Nora and Lottie in the kitchen setting out an array of cold foods for their supper.

  “What can I do to help?” she asked.

  Nora wiped her hands on her apron. “Slice the ham left over from yesterday’s dinner. Lottie, go out to the garden and pick a half dozen ripe tomatoes. I think we’ll have them with cottage cheese.”

  Working alongside her mother and sister, Tess felt like a girl again. Life had been much simpler then, but she wouldn’t go back, even to avoid the pain. She was ready to face the future. She didn’t have an opportunity to exchange more than a few words with Lottie, and it wasn’t long before the meal was ready.

  “I hear they have quite a collection of fireworks to shoot off this year,” Wesley said.

  Nora passed the plate of tomatoes to her husband. “We should watch from behind the church. We had a nice view from there last year.”

  “Suits me. If we take a couple of blankets to sit on, we’ll all be comfortable.”

  Tess glanced up from her plate. “Don’t count on me and Emily, Pa. Nathan is stopping by for us, and I’m not sure what he has in mind.”

  Lottie’s lips thinned into a tight line. “You’re watching the fireworks with Nathan?”

  She nodded. “He asked me at Rebecca’s wedding.”

  “I’ll keep an eye on Emily if you like,” Nora offered.

  “No thank you, Mama. She’ll be tired, and I’m not sure how she’ll react to all the noise.”

  Lottie wiped her hands on her napkin. “I must say I’m surprised.”

  “About what?”

  “That you’re going with Nathan. Seems to me you had your eye on Daniel all day long.”

  Tess frowned. “You’re mistaken.”

  “Am I?”

  “Yes.”

  She shrugged. “Then I may as well ask Daniel to watch the fireworks with me since he’ll be all alone. You wouldn’t know where he is, would you, Tess?”

  “He’s at the sheriff’s office cleaning up.”

  She smiled sweetly. “I was certain you’d know exactly where he went.”

  Tess held her tongue with difficulty, taking several deep breaths. She didn’t know what game her sister was playing. She wasn’t sure Lottie knew. When she heard her daughter stirring in the bedroom, she gladly left the table. By the time she fed the baby and helped with the dishes, it was almost dark.

  “You should get ready,” Nora said. “Nathan will be here any minute.”

  Tess picked up the rag doll Emily dropped on the kitchen floor. “I am ready.”

  Her mother rested her hands on her hips. “Your hair could use some attention.”

  She smoothed back a few stray wisps, tucking them into the knot at the back of her head. “I don’t have time to fix it properly, and if I did, it would still be coming down around my ears five minutes after I left the house.” She wasn’t too concerned with her appearance. “Any way, I hear Nathan.”

  He stood in the front room talking to Wesley when Tess carried her daughter out of the kitchen.

  “Are you ready to go?”

  She nodded. “Shall we all walk over together?”

  “You two go ahead. Your ma and I will be along in a few minutes.”

  “What about Lottie?”

  Nathan cleared his throat. “I passed her on my way here. She was going to look for Daniel.”

  “Then I guess there’s no reason to wait.” Tess took the arm he offered. It was almost fully dark as they walked down Main Street toward the crowd gathered at the east end of town.

  “Would you like to sit in the buggy?” Nathan asked. “I left it near the church.”

  “Will the horses stand when the fireworks start?”

  “I think so.”

  “All right then, let’s. It sounds more comfortable than sitting on the ground, especially with Emily to hold.”

  Nathan led her to his buggy and helped her in. From the high seat, the view was excellent. Tess spotted Fay and Doc Fredericks standing with Hank and Mary and waved.

  “Would you like to join them?”

  “No, this is nice.” She leaned against the seatback and studied him. “You got all the mud off.”

  He chuckled. “It took some doing. I guarantee you won’t talk me into entering that contest next year.”

  “I enjoyed watching. I don’t know who was dirtier, you, Daniel, or the pig.”

  “Daniel by far. He was still trying to get the dirt out from under his fingernails when I left.”

  “He managed or gave up. I see him over by the church with Lottie.” Her pleasure in the evening dissipated.

  “Does that bother you?”

  She scowled. “I don’t want Daniel to get hurt.”

  “Shouldn’t your concern be for your sister?”

  “Lottie can take care of herself. When her current beau bores her, she moves on to the next one.”

  He smiled. “She sounds like a few men I know.”

  Tess’s tone was grim. “Daniel is the loyal sort. He doesn’t deserve to have his heart broken by a girl who doesn’t know what she wants.”

  “Maybe Lottie wants Daniel.”

  “She’s restless. She would be happier living in a city with plenty of excitement, and Daniel will never leave the farm. The land means everything to him. I don’t think they’re a good match.”

  “What about you? Would you ever want to leave?”

  She stroked Emily’s hair. “No, my roots are here. I want Emily to grow up around my folks and Aunt Fay and her Uncle Daniel. I want her to have a sense of belonging.”

  “You forgot to mention her Aunt Lottie.”

  “Lottie, too,” she said hastily.

  Nathan laughed. “You can’t fool me, Tess. Family may be important, but you and Lottie get along as well as your dog would with a stray cat.”

  “You’re right. I guess I’m not very good at hiding my feelings.”

  “No, your feelings are pretty clear.”

  His tone held an odd note. She looked up at him, but it was too dark to read his expression. Before she could question him, fireworks exploded in a cacophony of sound and brilliant color.

  Emily stared up at the sky and shrieked with delight at each new display.

  “And I was worried she would be afraid,” Tess said.

  He looked down at the baby. “She doesn’t seem like the timi
d sort.”

  “No, she takes after Rory.”

  When the show was over, he turned the horses toward the main road. Tess waved to Wesley and Nora. Nathan stopped when Lottie stepped up to the buggy.

  “What did you think? Wasn’t the show beautiful?” she asked. She clasped Daniel’s arm firmly to her side and leaned against him. “It was the best display ever.”

  Tess’s gaze met Daniel’s. “It was spectacular.”

  He nodded. “It was indeed. Goodnight, Tess.”

  She was quiet on the way home, and Emily fell asleep in her arms. Her thoughts vacillated between Daniel and the man at her side, leaving her more confused than ever. Nathan stopped the horses near the back porch and helped her down. While she shushed Shadow, he carried Emily’s bag into the house and lit the lamp on the kitchen table. Turning, he smiled.

  “I’ll go. You need to get Emily to bed.”

  Tess shifted her daughter to her shoulder and held out her hand. “Thank you for a wonderful day.”

  He took her hand. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, but there is something that would make the ending perfect.”

  The dim light created a sense of intimacy that lent Tess courage. She knew what he wanted but asked anyway. “What would make it perfect?”

  “A goodnight kiss from a beautiful woman.”

  She tilted her face for his kiss, telling herself it was the right thing to do.

  His lips were soft, his mustache scratchy. The feeling was a new one for Tess. She responded tentatively, and he cupped her face in his hands, deepening the kiss. When Emily stirred, he stepped back.

  She opened her eyes. He squeezed her hand and released her, picked his hat up off the table, and walked to the door. There he paused.

  “Will you have supper with me one night soon, maybe with James and Rebecca? We could eat at the restaurant.”

  “That sounds fun. I can leave Emily with Aunt Fay for the evening.”

  He smiled. “Maybe the next time I kiss you there won’t be a baby between us.”

  Tess shut the door behind him. She closed her eyes, remembering the feel of his kiss. One memory led to another; another night, another kiss, another man. With a sigh, she headed for the stairs. Emily was the least of the things standing between her and Nathan.

  Chapter 8

  Tess patted her lips with her napkin and sat back in her chair with a satisfied sigh. “It certainly was enjoyable eating a meal I didn’t cook myself.”

  Rebecca dropped her napkin on her empty plate. “I couldn’t agree more.”

  James draped his arm around his wife’s shoulders. “No offense, Rebecca, but I don’t know when I’ve had tastier meat loaf. I’m glad we agreed to come along tonight.”

  “I know I’m not a very good cook. Be thankful I’m getting better.”

  “Oh, I am!”

  Nathan cleared his throat. “I hate to end our evening, but it’s late, and I have the early shift in the morning.”

  Rebecca glanced down at the watch pinned to her bodice. “My goodness, it is late. Settle the tab, James.”

  Tess watched the men cross the room. The sheriff smiled at something James said, his teeth gleaming in his handsome face. Nathan was everything she could possibly want in a man. He was strong and reliable, caring and kind. He was gorgeous. But he wasn’t Daniel.

  Rebecca touched her arm. “Are you and Nathan serious?”

  She turned to face her friend. “It’s too soon to say.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. The man can’t take his eyes off you. I think his feelings are pretty obvious.”

  “I don’t want to rush into anything.”

  “I’ll admit I was surprised when the two of you started keeping company. I assumed you and Daniel would end up together. I guess I was wrong.”

  “You weren’t the only one.”

  Rebecca’s eyes widened. “Tess, do you have feelings for Daniel?”

  She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. There won’t ever be anything between us.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s too complicated to explain. Anyway, I like Nathan. The more time I spend with him, the more I enjoy his company.”

  “Do you love him?”

  “Maybe in time I will.”

  “Take all the time you need.” Rebecca smiled and patted her stomach. “As long as you don’t jump the gun like we did, there’s no reason to rush things.”

  Tess drew in her breath. “Rebecca, are you pregnant?”

  Her eyes sparkled. “Hush, we haven’t told anyone yet.”

  “Congratulations. I’m so happy for you.”

  “We’re excited about it. Oh, here come the men.”

  They left the restaurant, and the two couples parted company on the street. Nathan turned the horses toward the farm and urged them into a trot. Riding beside him in the warm night air, Tess clenched her hands together in her lap, debating the wisdom of asking Nathan inside. Was she ready for what would follow if she did? As they turned into her yard, she sighed.

  “Tired?” he asked.

  “A little. Mostly I’m nervous.”

  “Why would you be nervous?”

  “All the way home I’ve been wondering if I should invite you in.”

  He set the brake on the buggy and turned to face her. “What did you decide?”

  “I didn’t.”

  “What if I promise not to push you into a decision you aren’t ready to make?”

  “Then I might ask if you would like a cup of tea before heading back to town.”

  “I would love one.”

  The house was dark except for the lamp burning on the kitchen table. Tess ran upstairs to check on Emily and found her daughter sleeping soundly. When she returned to the kitchen, Nathan had stoked the fire in the stove and filled the teakettle with water. He placed it on the stovetop and smiled.

  “Are Fay and Emily asleep?”

  She nodded.

  “Relax, Tess. You look ready to fly to pieces.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m not used to this.”

  “I can go.”

  “No, I’d like you to stay. I’m just nervous you’ll want to kiss me again, and I don’t know how I feel about that.”

  He put a gentle hand on her arm. “Sit down, please. Are you always this honest?”

  She sat. Leaning her elbows on the table, she rested her chin on her clasped hands and studied him thoughtfully. “I try to be, but nobody is completely honest all the time.”

  He poured the steaming water into the teapot and took two cups from the cupboard. “I appreciate your truthfulness. I don’t like playing games with a woman.”

  “Why aren’t you married, Nathan?”

  “Maybe because I’ve moved around so much.” His smile held a hint of regret as he poured the tea and passed her a cup. “I’ve never spent much time with the kind of girl you marry. I made up my mind to change that when I came here.”

  “Oh.” She should be delighted by his admission. She wasn’t.

  Nathan set down his cup and slid his chair closer to hers. He picked up her hands and held them in his warm ones. “Just answer one question. Do you want to marry again?”

  She nodded.

  He squeezed her hands. “That’s all I wanted to know. You need time to sort out your feelings. It’s not just your future you have to think about, but Emily’s, too.”

  Relief eased the tightness in her chest. “You’re a very understanding man.”

  He pulled her to her feet. “Walk me to the door.”

  She did, letting him hold her hand as he drew her out onto the porch. She turned her face up to the stars and breathed in the scented night air.

  “Now about that kiss,” he said in a teasing voice.

  She let out her breath. “What about it?”

  “Am I going to get one?”

  She lowered her eyes. “A man as understanding as you are probably deserves a kiss.”

  He took two steps forward, bringing her up against his chest. He
cupped her face in his hands and smoothed a stray wisp of hair off her cheek with his thumb.

  “You’re very beautiful.”

  “So are you.”

  His chest shook with laughter as he wrapped his arms around her. When he sobered, he looked into her eyes. Apparently he found her expression reassuring, for he lowered his lips to hers. The kiss started with some hesitation but quickly grew confident, then insistent. When he pulled back, she was breathless.

  He groaned. “That certainly gives me something to think about. Sweet dreams, Tess.”

  “Goodnight, Nathan,” she answered softly.

  She stood at the door for a moment before going back inside. Out of habit she cleared their cups from the table and turned down the lamp wick. Once upstairs, she undressed in the dark and climbed into bed. Confusion kept her awake deep into the night and colored her dreams.

  * * * *

  Tess twisted the soggy cotton in her hands, wringing all the water she could from the wet fabric. The cool sheet refreshed her heated skin as she carried it to the clothesline and pinned it in place. A hot breeze snapped the diapers and dresses hanging on the line. With a sigh of relief, she walked back to the porch and tipped the heavy tub of rinse water over the edge, watering the petunias blooming in the flower bed.

  Tess pushed her straggling hair off her sweaty forehead and plopped down on the bottom porch step. Emily was playing with twigs in a patch of shade. When she looked up and smiled, Tess burst into laughter. Her face was covered with dirt, and her little dress looked worse than the rag Tess used to clean the stove.

  “She’s a picture, isn’t she?” Fay said. She slipped peas from the pod into a bowl and reached for another.

  “I don’t imagine I look much better. Maybe I’ll take her down to the creek to cool off. Would you like to join us?”

  “I don’t think so, Tess. I’m going to finish these peas and lie down for a spell. The heat is giving me a headache.”

  She smiled at her aunt in sympathy. “Leave the peas. I’ll finish them.”

  “Don’t be silly. It’s just a headache. Enjoy yourself at the creek.”

  Tess ran upstairs, grabbed a bar of soap and fresh clothes for her and Emily, and hurried back down. She picked up the baby, and with Shadow leading the way, headed toward the creek. A movement in the south pasture caught her attention. She paused in the middle of the yard and shaded her eyes.