Bittersweet

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Bittersweet Page 18

by Jannine Gallant


  “That sounds like a welcome change.” She smiled at him before looking over at Daniel. “Are you certain you don’t need me to help with the corn?”

  “Go on your picnic. I might haul a little water up from the creek, but it’s no trick to do it myself.”

  “All right then, I would love to go.”

  As they walked around the church, Lottie hurried toward them. They stopped to wait for her.

  “Good morning,” she called, her cheeks flushed.

  “Hello, Lottie. Where are Mama and Pa?”

  “Inside I imagine. I was late leaving the house, and now I’m glad I was.” She took Daniel’s arm and smiled up at him. “Will you come to dinner after church?”

  “I shouldn’t. I have work to do.”

  “You work too hard. Anyway, Tess will need a ride home.”

  “Nathan and I are going on a picnic. I won’t be coming to dinner.”

  “Oh.” Lottie’s bright smile dimmed. She looked up at Daniel from beneath her lashes. “You’ll come, won’t you?”

  His gaze strayed to Nathan’s hand on Tess’s arm. When he turned back to Lottie, his lips were tight. “Why not? I can take off a few hours.”

  “Wonderful.”

  The church was crowded, but they managed to find seats toward the back of the building. Tess sat sandwiched between Nathan and her sister with Emily on her lap. The room was hot enough to fry an egg, and she prayed the sermon would be short.

  As Reverend Thomas spoke, she squirmed. The theme of the sermon was Love Thy Neighbor, a subject a little too close to her heart. She glanced at Daniel over Lottie’s head and found him looking back at her. Her gaze held his until finally he looked away. She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat.

  * * * *

  Daniel turned away and sighed. As he listened to Reverend Thomas, he wondered if he was making a mistake. Was this sermon a sign from God that his love for Tess wasn’t a sin? A minute later he knew he was mistaken. Reverend Thomas’s words were a brand on his soul. Love thy neighbor but do not covet his wife. How much worse was it to covet his brother’s wife? His love for Tess weighed heavily in his chest. God wasn’t giving him a sign. He was issuing a warning to stand firm against temptation. Daniel stared straight ahead through the rest of the service. He made certain he didn’t look in Tess’s direction again.

  “In closing, Lord,” Reverend Thomas prayed, “we ask for rain. Please look kindly upon us and send some our way. Amen.”

  Daniel added his own heartfelt Amen to the chorus from the congregation. Relieved to escape the unbearable heat in the church, he hurried toward the exit.

  He clenched his fists as Tess chatted with Hank and Mary, Nathan by her side. Daniel had made his choice, however painful. Having regrets only made it worse. When her gaze met his, he looked away. Squaring his shoulders, he took Lottie’s arm and walked out of the churchyard.

  * * * *

  “Where are we going?” Tess asked as Nathan drove west out of town.

  “I thought we would drive into the foothills. It might be cooler up there.”

  “Cooler sounds wonderful.” She pushed damp strands of hair off her perspiring brow. Emily squirmed in her lap and started to cry.

  “What’s wrong with her?” Nathan asked.

  “She’s hot, poor thing.” Tess unbuttoned Emily’s little dress and pulled it over her head. The baby quieted.

  Nathan smiled. “So that’s the secret.”

  “It is with Emily. She’d be content never to wear clothes again.”

  “If you’re similarly inclined, don’t hold back on my account.”

  Tess burst into laughter. “Very funny, Nathan.”

  “A sense of humor is important, don’t you think?” He gave her a sideways glance.

  “Yes.” She sighed.

  He guided the horses around a rough spot in the road before glancing over at her. “Daniel looked awfully grim during the sermon. What’s bothering him?”

  “I expect it’s the corn. Our crop is dying.”

  “I’m sorry.” Nathan squeezed her hand.

  “We’ve been working all week to save it.”

  “Maybe it will rain soon.”

  “I hope so.”

  As they reached the foothills and began to climb, a gentle breeze stirred the hot air. He stopped in a shady spot beside a creek.

  “This is lovely,” Tess said as he helped her down. “I wouldn’t mind taking off my shoes and soaking my feet.”

  “Go right ahead. I’ll turn the horses loose and join you.”

  She sat on a rock at the edge of the water and watched Emily dig in the wet gravel. Her daughter looked up and squealed.

  “Emily approves of your choice.”

  “Good.” He sat beside her. “I put the picnic basket under a tree. Do you want to eat now or later?”

  “Let’s wait a while. Right now I just want to sit here and enjoy the water.” She struggled to unbutton her shoes. Finally she took them off and pulled down her stockings. “I wasn’t joking about soaking my feet.”

  He pulled off his boots and socks and set them next to hers. Together they waded into the stream.

  “Oh, oh,” Tess said. “I’d better grab Emily before she falls in.”

  “I’ll get her.” He scooped up the baby and carried her to Tess. Then he hunkered down and dangled her feet in the creek. Emily kicked the water and laughed. Tess bunched up her skirts and waded into the water knee deep.

  “I’m in heaven.”

  “It’s fitting since you look like an angel.”

  She smiled. “Thank you, Nathan.”

  They splashed and played until hunger drove them out of the creek. Opening the picnic basket, Nathan pulled out thick ham sandwiches, potato salad, peach pie, and a jar of lemonade.

  Tess fed some of the salad to Emily. “This is delicious. Did you make it?”

  “I’m no cook. I ordered it at the restaurant.”

  She leaned against a rock and stretched her legs out on the quilt. “You may not cook, but you have other talents.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Such as?”

  “You knew I needed to get away from the farm when I didn’t know it myself. Every time I look out the window I see the corn baking in the sun and get a knot in my stomach.”

  “Is it that bad?”

  She nodded. “You’re lucky your livelihood isn’t tied to the weather. Of course, I don’t have to worry about getting shot at the way you do.”

  He cleared his throat. “Speaking of shooting, we should have another practice session.”

  Tess shivered as a cloud passed over the sun. She looked up hopefully, but it was just a small puff of white. “I practiced on my own.”

  “How did you do?”

  “Eventually I hit all six cans.”

  He smiled. “I knew you could do it.”

  “All I needed was the proper motivation.” Tess picked a peach out of the pie and fed it to Emily. “Did they catch the men who killed that woman?”

  “No, I’m afraid they didn’t. I worry about the three of you alone on the farm.”

  “Daniel is worried, too. He offered to move in with us.”

  His fingers tightened around the jar of lemonade. “What did you tell him?”

  “That it wouldn’t help. He can’t be with us all the time.”

  Nathan relaxed and raised the jar to his mouth. “Emily looks tired.”

  “She is.” Tess scooped up her daughter. The baby leaned against her shoulder and gave a little sigh, her eyes half closed.

  “She missed her morning nap.”

  “She can sleep on the blanket.” Nathan cleaned up the remaining food and put it back in the basket.

  “I need to nurse her first. Do you mind?”

  “No, of course not.” He rose to his feet. “I’ll put this in the buggy and check on the horses.”

  Relieved, she unbuttoned her dress. It hadn’t bothered her to have Daniel nearby while she nursed, but she felt awkw
ard with Nathan. Emily fell asleep within minutes, and she laid her down on the quilt. Getting to her feet, she walked down stream. Nathan stood near the water with his back to her. She touched his arm.

  He turned and smiled. “That didn’t take long.”

  “No, she was exhausted.”

  He fidgeted with a rock, tossing it back and forth before dropping it in the creek. After a minute he took her hand and led her over to a fallen log. They sat down side by side.

  “What is it, Nathan? You aren’t acting like yourself.”

  “I’m a little nervous,” he confessed. “I’m working up the courage to ask you to marry me.”

  She stared at him, certain she’d misunderstood. He put one hand in his pocket and pulled out a ring. The setting was a pearl surrounded by small diamonds. When she didn’t move, he slipped it on her finger. Stunned, she looked down at her hand. A great emptiness engulfed her

  “Say something,” he pleaded.

  She touched the pearl. “It’s like the necklace you gave me for my birthday.”

  He nodded. “They were a set. Do you like it?”

  “Yes.”

  “Will you keep it?”

  She looked into his kind, hopeful eyes. Words failed her. “Why, Nathan? After all I said about my feelings, why are you asking me to marry you?”

  He shifted closer and put his arm around her waist. She leaned against his chest and waited for him to speak.

  “I know you don’t love me, but I love you. I want to be with you every day. I want you beside me when I wake up in the morning and when I go to bed at night. I’m tired of being alone. I think you are, too.”

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  “You care about me, don’t you?” At her nod he continued. “You know I’ll do my best to make you and Emily happy?”

  “Yes.”

  “Isn’t that enough, at least for now?”

  She thought about the last few days, working in the fields with Daniel and remembered her birthday wish. Daniel would never come around to her way of thinking, so why shouldn’t she marry Nathan? He knew how she felt and still wanted her as his wife. It made sense to agree to his proposal. She hesitated.

  “I don’t know, Nathan.”

  “Will you keep the ring and think about it?”

  She nodded, staring down at her hand.

  He let out a whoop and swung her up off the log into his arms. Tess shushed him. “Don’t wake Emily.”

  “Sorry, but I was certain you would say no. I had a whole speech planned, listing all the reasons why you should marry me.”

  “I haven’t said yes. Let’s hear them.”

  This is the most important reason. He lowered his head and kissed her. She closed her eyes. His lips were soft and warm. When he deepened the kiss, his mouth tasted of lemonade and peaches. She forced herself to relax, to respond to his kiss. This man would be her husband if she agreed to his proposal. She had to get used to his touch.

  His lips moved down the side of her neck, and his hand cupped her breast. Tess squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated on breathing steadily.

  Nathan released her. “What’s wrong?”

  She opened her eyes. “I’m sorry. I need time to get used to the idea. I have to be sure.”

  “How much time do you think you’ll need?”

  She rubbed the toe of her shoe through the grass. “I don’t know.”

  “I’m rushing you, and I didn’t mean to. We’ll wait until you’re certain.”

  She met his gaze. “Thank you, Nathan.”

  He cupped her chin in his hand and stared into her eyes. “It won’t be long, will it? I don’t know if I can stand the suspense.”

  “I won’t make you wait forever.”

  Over on the quilt Emily cried. Tess hurried to her, and Nathan followed at a slower pace.

  “The two of you look so beautiful together.” He knelt and held out a finger to Emily. Slowly she took it. He glanced up, smiling.

  “She likes you, Nathan.”

  Tess stood, and he picked up the quilt. “It’s getting late. Shall we head back?”

  “I suppose so. It’ll be dark before we’re home.”

  He helped her into the buggy and started the horses. “I know you haven’t officially accepted my proposal, but if you do, have you thought about where you’d want to live?”

  She looked at him in surprise. “Why on the farm of course.”

  “Would you feel awkward living with me in the same house you shared with Rory?”

  “Marrying you wouldn’t change the fact that Rory was my husband. I loved him very much.” She touched his arm and smiled up at him. “But I don’t intend to live in the past. I’m ready for a new beginning.”

  He nodded. “Living on the farm is fine with me.”

  Tess tightened her hold on Emily. It felt wrong discussing living arrangements with him. She knew accepting his proposal was the wise choice, but her heart rebelled. “This conversation is premature, don’t you think? I haven’t said I’ll marry you.”

  “But you didn’t say you wouldn’t. I feel optimistic.” He grinned. “Convincing you to say yes will be a pleasure. I was certain you would turn me down.”

  “Then why did you ask?”

  “Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Life is full of challenges.”

  “Am I a challenge?”

  “In some respects. It would have been easier to fall for an uncomplicated girl who could love me without reserve.” He guided the horses around a fallen tree before returning his gaze to hers. “But I’ve never chosen the easy path.”

  She didn’t answer. His words hit her hard, and she spent the remainder of the drive thinking about them. Accepting Nathan’s proposal was choosing the easy path. Fighting for Daniel was a losing battle, and she was weary from the struggle. Maybe she lacked moral character, but her sense of self-preservation was strong. Life was too short to waste it waiting for something that might never happen. There were no guarantees.

  “You’ve been awfully quiet,” Nathan said as he helped her down from the buggy. The moon rose above the corn field, casting silver light over the barnyard. Emily slept on her shoulder.

  “I’ve been thinking.”

  “About what?”

  “Your proposal. I’ll have an answer for you soon.”

  “As long as it’s the right one.”

  He kissed her and left. Long after he’d gone, Tess stood on the porch, looking out at the night. The breeze rustled the dry corn stalks, and frogs croaked down by the creek. She rubbed Shadow’s head. The dog leaned against her legs.

  If she married Nathan, he would stand at her side on nights like this. He would give her security and companionship, and in return she would be a helpmate and a loyal wife. There would be brothers and sisters for Emily. She would have a happy, fulfilling life. The only thing missing would be love.

  Chapter 12

  Tess filled the last jar with tomatoes, screwed the lid down, and grunted as she lifted the heavy cooker onto the stove. Turning, she wiped her hands on a towel. Her gaze shifted to the window where her ring sat on the sill, glittering in the sunlight. She’d removed it a half dozen times since Nathan had given it to her. She couldn’t get used to seeing it on her finger.

  She reached for the ring just as the light streaming through the window dimmed. She jerked her hand back and leaned forward, staring up at the sky. There was a cloud, a big one.

  With Shadow at her heels, she ran out into the yard. A bank of dark clouds rolled slowly across the sky from the west. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Please, God, please.

  As she waited and watched, Daniel hurried toward her from the direction of the creek. Together they stood looking up at the cloud.

  “It’s a long way off,” he said. “It may rain itself out in the foothills.”

  “I know, but maybe it won’t. It doesn’t hurt to pray.”

  “Oh, I’m praying.”

  They stood for what seemed an eternity before the firs
t few sprinkles of rain fell. The drops sent up little puffs of dust as they hit the ground. Tess turned to Daniel, her smile huge. The rain came faster, turning into a shower, and then becoming a downpour. Lightening split the sky, and thunder boomed overhead. Joy filled her.

  He gave a shout, picked her up in his arms, and swung her around in a circle. Within minutes she was drenched. Her dress stuck to her skin, but she didn’t care. It was raining.

  She pushed her wet hair out of her face and hung onto Daniel, laughing and carefree. Dancing about the yard, they whooped and hollered like children. Finally she stopped for breath and stared into his eyes. His gaze lowered. Her wet dress and chemise clung to her breasts, and her nipples were clearly outlined. They stood erect against the damp material.

  When he raised his eyes, she saw desire blazing in them. “Daniel,” she whispered. His arms tightened around her, and he lowered his mouth to hers. The kiss burned through her body. It seared her soul, igniting passion that made her whimper with need. He groaned deep in his throat. His hands tangled in her hair as his mouth plundered hers.

  A shrill cry carried on the wind. Lost in a haze of desire, it was several moments before she acknowledged the sound. Finally, she began to struggle.

  “Daniel, stop!” She wrenched her mouth away from his. “Emily is crying.”

  He blinked, his eyes unfocused. “Emily?”

  “She’s upstairs napping. The thunder must have wakened her.” Reluctantly she stepped away and ran toward the house.

  Her daughter sat in her crib, screaming.

  “Shush, Emily,” she crooned. “It’s just a storm.” Picking up the baby, she carried her downstairs.

  Daniel stood under the shelter of the porch with his back to her. She touched his arm. He flinched.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

  “You didn’t. Is Emily all right?” he asked without turning.

  “She’s fine. Please come inside.”

  “I’m soaked. I don’t want to drip all over your floor.”

  “I already did. It doesn’t matter anyway.”

  Finally he turned to face her. “I’m sorry, Tess.”

  She didn’t pretend to misunderstand him. “It was just a kiss. We were excited about the rain. No harm was done.”

 

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