Grasping at Eternity (The Kindrily)

by Karen Amanda Hooper

  She braced her arms on the sides of my chair. “What else have you dreamt about?”

  I leaned back. “Kris, you’re suffocating me.”

  She released her death grip and kneeled in front of me. “Spill it.”

  I looked down at her and months of secrets spewed out of me: seeing Nathan the night of the attack, the hospital, every dream I had, even the Christmas ornament. I must have ranted for half an hour, but she never said a word.

  When I finished, she rubbed her hands over her face and rested in her trademark prayer position. “Take a deep breath, because what I’m about to tell you is going to require an excessive amount of oxygen.”

  I inhaled as deep as I could.

  “None of those were dreams,” she told me. “Your gift is astral traveling. You can leave your physical body and watch over anyone at any time without being seen.”

  I laughed, but it got stuck in my throat when I realized she wasn’t kidding. “My dreams were real?”

  “Yes.” She played with the ends of her dark hair. “Why didn’t you tell me about any of this?”

  She was right. I couldn’t find enough air to breathe properly. “I thought you’d think I was nuts!”

  Krista shook her head. “And we assumed you’d think we were crazy if we asked you.”

  I slid off my chair and sat on the floor in front of her. “You remember your…” I couldn’t wrap my head around all of it. “Past lives? You remember living a life before this one?”

  She rested her hands on my knees. “This is my third lifetime with everyone. I’m the thirteenth member. I was the newest member until Carson came along. In every life you and I have been family…kind of.”

  “Were we cousins in our last life too?” It felt ridiculous to say something so bizarre out loud.

  “We can get into that later. I don’t want your brain to explode.”

  I ran my hand over my head like it might be a real possibility. “There was a wedding photo of Nathaniel and Mary,” I still couldn’t bring myself to say me, “and the number nineteen next to it in my handwriting. What does nineteen mean?”

  She looked up for a moment, fiddling with her hair again. “Probably means yours and Nathan’s nineteenth wedding. Sounds about right.”

  I sat up so fast that the corner of the chair jammed into my back. “What? That’s impossible. That’s—how could—no way.”

  Krista’s bottom lip folded into a pout. “You two were an item for longer than you can imagine. That ring you’re wearing,” she held my thumb. “That’s been your engagement ring several times.”

  I gasped, staring at my ring like it was a UFO. I couldn’t imagine anyone ever proposing to me, much less someone like Nathan. “This doesn’t mean we’re engaged, does it?”

  Krista laughed. “No. He has to actually pop the question for that to apply. But there is more to that ring than meets the eye.”

  “Like what?”

  “Nathan or Louise will have to explain that one. I still don’t fully understand it.”

  “I can’t ask Nathan about any of this!”

  “Why? You do love him, right?”

  My jaw went slack. “Love him? I don’t—we never—I mean he’s—he could have any girl on this planet. Why would he want me?”

  “Oh, Maryah. Oblivious, feeble-minded angel.” Her eyes glistened and she sighed. “You are his world. He has loved you for centuries. He’s been broken without you.”

  Broken. No, I’d been the broken one. How could I be so important to him? He barely knew me. “It’s not that I don’t want to believe you. I do. I think, but, I…what do you call it? Erased, right?”

  She nodded.

  “Then think about it. I hardly know Nathan. I’m not sure I even know what being in love means. And if I don’t remember being with him then…” I shrugged, lost for what else to say.

  Krista went stone-faced. “I don’t believe this. You’re soul mates. You’re supposed to be magnetically drawn to each other. Knowing all of this I figured…so wait, you don’t feel anything for him?”

  I didn’t want to lie. I’d been attracted to him since my first dream, or what I thought was a dream. Even when I wanted to hate him, I thought about him constantly, but everything about the situation scared me. None of this was normal. Not even close to normal. “Can we take a break from talking about this for a minute? I’m getting a headache.”

  Krista glanced at my bedroom door. “They’re waiting for us. They called a meeting.”

  I looked at the door too. “A meeting? Who called a meeting?”

  “The kindrily. This is where you hear the rest of the story. They want to make sure you’re okay with everything.”

  “But I don’t know if I am.”

  “That’s why they called a meeting. Come on.”

  CIRCLE OF LOVE

  Maryah

  Everyone had gathered around the huge dining room table.

  Outside, rain fell, but inside, the chandelier burned brightly. I’d never seen its candles lit before. The flames glistened in the rainbow glass of the star skylight. The room and all the people in it seemed to glow, including Dylan and Amber, who I was shocked to see. Krista guided me to three empty seats and pulled out the middle chair. I sat down, expecting her to sit beside me, but she took the seat between Carson and Faith.

  All of the couples sat beside each other holding hands: Edgar and Helen, Anthony and Louise, Dylan and Amber, and Faith and Shiloh. The seat on my left was obviously for Nathan. I glanced to my right at Harmony one seat down from me. The empty chair between us must be for Dakota, but, no, wait. Her brother couldn’t be her soul mate. Things couldn’t be that twisted.

  Helen spoke first. “Maryah, your mother shared part of our secret with you; however, there is more to your story, and it’s time you are aware of it. We will try our best to explain as much as we can without overwhelming you, but stop us if you have a question. This will be a lot of information to comprehend in one sitting.”

  Carson laughed from across the table. “That’s an understatement.”

  “I have a question.” Every pair of eyes focused on me. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. I looked pointedly at Dylan and Amber. “How did everyone get here so fast?”

  “We flew,” Amber replied.

  “Both of you can fly?”

  “No, we flew in the family plane,” Dylan answered.

  “The family plane?”

  Carson tucked his hair behind his ears. “Come on, Sparky. Did you think a supernal bunch like us wouldn’t have some cool toys?”

  “If you have your own plane, why haven’t I seen it, and why didn’t we use it to go to Colorado?”

  “It’s a special kind of plane.” Carson smirked. “You weren’t ready for that kind of exposure to our way of life.”

  I looked at Krista. “Is that how you got here?” She grinned. A plane was the least of my worries. “Everyone is part of this kindrily thing? And you all remember past lives and have superpowers?”

  Helen answered. “Everyone at this table is an Element. We are called Elements because of our divine consistency. We’re all considered Aether because it’s fundamental and the most powerful of the elements. However, we also take on a role as Earth, Fire, Air, or Water. Each lifetime, when we return, we are born under the same sign. Edgar and I are Earth. Anthony and Louise are Fire, and so on and so on. We were all gifted with unique abilities and yes, we all choose to perpetually retain our memories from all our lives.”

  “I’m so confused,” I mumbled.

  “You think you’re confused now?” Carson laughed. “Just wait.”

  Louise spoke patiently. “The concept is nearly impossible for most human minds to comprehend. We don’t expect you to understand it all right away.”

  Edgar put on his glasses. “Let me elaborate. Elements are exceptional souls who are created and gifted to the world in pairs.”

  “Edgar,” Helen said sternly.

  “My apologies, I haven’t fu
lly adjusted to the recent permutations. I meant neither ill will nor harm.” He nodded at Krista and Carson before continuing. “Originally, the system dictated that Elements were born in pairs—soul mates or twin flames. Nathaniel is yours. He has been since your first birth, as Helen is mine, and so on throughout the family.” He nodded at each couple. “However, recent developments have proven there are exceptions. Krista and Carson are our latest additions and it seems the twin flame theory does not apply to them.”

  Louise leaned forward. “You and Nathaniel have always been Air signs, however this time you were born as Water. It’s the first time in any Element’s existence that one of us changed roles. Only time will tell if there is a consequence or meaning behind it.”

  Helen smiled at Louise then looked at me. “Maryah, after reading your mother’s letter, do you understand the concept of retaining or erasing?”

  “I think I get it.” I didn’t get it at all, but I didn’t want to admit how clueless I was.

  “So you understand that we continuously choose to retain our memories after each life, and that many of us remember, and have been connected for centuries?”

  I thought about the book series I recently read. “Are we like vampires or something, immortal? Do we live forever?”

  Dylan chuckled. “No, we’re far from immortal. We live and breathe. We get hurt and sick, and eventually our bodies die, but not our souls. The body is simply a vessel to allow us human experiences.”

  “But if you look at it that way then everyone is immortal. No soul ever dies?”

  Amber pulled her hair into a ponytail. “In a sense that’s true, however there’s more to it. It’s difficult to explain because you chose to erase. You have no memory of what we’ve been through, or the lessons we’ve learned throughout our lives, and our experiences in the Higher Realm.”

  That Higher Realm place again. I had so many questions about that too, but there was a bigger issue at hand. “Why would I erase?”

  “We don’t know.” Several people answered in unison. I could see the pain in their eyes. I’d never intentionally hurt any of them, but what could I say? I didn’t remember having a choice, much less why I erased. Faith looked the saddest, but Amber came in close second. Dylan watched me like he was expecting me to say something.

  “What’s your gift?” I asked him.

  Louise placed her hand on Dylan’s shoulder. “Dylan exhibits more self-control than any of us. At any time he could use his gift for personal gain, yet he continually lives an exceedingly virtuous life.”

  “Sometimes he uses it for personal gain,” Anthony said.

  Dylan looked offended. “All of you get to enjoy your gifts; I should too.”

  Anthony fought back a smile as he shook his head.

  Dylan continued. “I have the power of persuasion. I can persuade anyone to do almost anything.”

  My mind raced at the unlimited possibilities. I thought back to how easily he convinced me to drive his new car. How did I miss so many telltale signs that this family wasn’t ordinary? I looked at Carson. “The fire in my room. You put it out way too fast. Can you control fire?”

  Carson smirked. “No. Anthony and I tag teamed that crisis.”

  “Carson is multi-gifted,” Faith said.

  His tan cheeks blushed. “I’m fast physically and mentally too. I can figure things out, like solve problems or see how to make things work, and I’m pretty strong.”

  “Pretty strong?” Faith sang, reaching around Krista and grabbing his bicep. “Those muscles stopped a hot air balloon from crash landing!”

  “You stopped us from crashing?”

  Carson brushed the hair from his eyes so fast that I barely saw his hands. “Basket, fabric, and two people: not much of a challenge.”

  I nodded, realizing that was also how he grabbed me off the dirt bike and saved me from falling off the cliffs. I knew something like that wasn’t possible under normal circumstances.

  Anthony hadn’t said a word. “And Anthony—you fix stuff?”

  He cleared his throat. “I acquired that talent through a lot of experience. My gift is something different.”

  “He freezes time,” Carson announced excitedly.

  I gasped. “I saw you do that in my dream!”

  Anthony’s eyes narrowed and every head at the table whipped around to look at me. Krista shifted in her seat. “Yeah, sorry, probably should’ve mentioned this earlier. Turns out Maryah still has her gift. She thought her travels were dreams.”

  Murmurs broke out around the table.

  Faith knelt in her chair and leaned forward. “Jeez Louise! Nathan was right!”

  They all had questions, but I had way more than them. Glancing around, I realized this was one of the few times I could see everyone’s eyes. “Sunglasses. Why is everyone obsessed with sunglasses?”

  Dylan spoke. “The eyes are the window to the soul. As Elements, we recognize people by the detailed light and coloring in their eyes. We have history with some evil souls we’ve been protecting ourselves from. They have no idea what most of us look like this time around, and if they see our eyes, they might recognize us.”

  “They have powers like we do?”

  “We assume they still do,” Dylan continued. “Edgar can only see the leader’s plans up until about thirty years ago. Then he disappears as if he no longer exists, but we know differently. He was behind the attack on you and your family.”

  Snake Eyes and the other monster flashed before me. “Oh my god,” I whispered. They were looking for me. I’m the girl they wanted to kill? “What if they find me again?”

  Shiloh looked extremely serious. “Your eyes no longer reveal who you used to be. They wouldn’t have tried to kill you if they knew it was you. You have the eyes of a stranger because you erased.”

  It was too much information. My head felt so heavy it actually fell forward until my forehead thudded against the table. When Snake Eyes looked at me, he said I wasn’t her. Technically, I wasn’t her anymore. Was I? I craned my head up and looked at Edgar. “Dylan said you could see his plans. So you read minds?”

  “No, dear, I can only read the Akashic Records.”

  My eyebrows ached from rising so much.

  Edgar elaborated. “The Akashic Records are a collection of human thoughts and intentions. Everything that ever happens, or any human thought, is recorded in the cosmos. It is the book of life, a detailed reference that is constantly evolving.”

  I looked at Faith. “That book you gave me about Edgar Cayce, it mentioned the Akashic records.”

  Faith giggled and pointed at Edgar.

  “Holy crap.” My head fell into my hands. I recalled my thoughts about suicide and how I hated Nathan. I thought of all the lies I’d ever told and the bad things I’d done. I mumbled into my palms. “Have you read my thoughts?”

  Edgar waited for me to look up. “Maryah, my dear, I do not play judge or juror. I only wield my power with fellow members when it is critical to our wellbeing. Besides, I assure you, even if I had knowledge of every bad thought you had, it would pale in comparison to the iniquitous actions I have witnessed throughout my lives.”

  I nodded, relieved that Edgar didn’t think I was an awful person, but made a mental note to be more conscious of my intentions and actions. He wasn’t a judge, but if a permanent record existed, I wanted to keep mine as clean as possible. A thought came to me. “Can you read your book and find out why I erased?”

  He peered at me over his bifocals. “It doesn’t work that way. When you made that decision, you were in the Higher Realm. The Akashic Records document thoughts and intentions of the human mind. The Higher Realm and astral journeys are beyond my jurisdiction. It is believed by an elder of another kindrily that a collection referred to as the Sacred Scrolls records what transpires in the Higher Realm. However, we don’t know if the collection truly exists. No soul has been known to access it.”

  “There are other kindrilies like us?”

  Hele
n responded. “Yes, dear. Over six billion souls live on this planet. Many have abilities that would astound you.”

  “Why is it such a secret?”

  Much to my surprise Krista answered.

  “The theory isn’t believed by the majority of the world. In the past, people have been killed or tortured for telling the truth about who they are. Many humans can’t comprehend ideas or theories that are bigger than them. If they can’t see it or understand it right away, they dismiss it. Some take it to an extreme and label it as evil or claim it’s demonic. It’s safer for us to stay quiet, at least until the world evolves enough to accept the possibility.”

  Centuries-old souls and superpowers? Of course the majority of the world didn’t believe it. I sure as heck had trouble believing it.

  I turned to Edgar. “Krista said Carson is the newest member. We arrived at different times?”

  Edgar laid his hand on top of Helen’s. “Helen and I were born into the world during the first century. Four centuries later, fate allowed us to cross paths with Anthony and Louise. Another four centuries passed before Dylan and Amber joined.” My eyes progressed from couple to couple as Edgar explained. They were sitting in order of the timeline. “You and Nathaniel made the original eight in the twelfth century.”

  I looked at Nathan’s chair beside me then at the other empty seat and five members to my right. “The original eight?”

  “Six centuries passed before another synchronistic meeting occurred. For a short time we assumed it would be only the eight of us. However, the pattern picked up again in the eighteenth century with Harmony and her soul mate, Gregory. That same century Faith and Shiloh entered, then Krista—well, perhaps she should explain her own history.”

  Krista started in a wispy voice. “Three lifetimes ago, I was born in Egypt to psychically gifted parents, but they were killed when I was fourteen. My little sister and I were shipped off to an orphanage in England where you worked as a nurse. My sister got hurt, and you saw me heal her. After that, you and Nathan adopted us.”

  I couldn’t blink. “What?”

  Krista stretched her hands in front of her like she wanted to reach across the table. “You taught my sister and me about the system, and about Elements. Everyone thought you were crazy, but you believed in us. You loved us wholeheartedly, and you said you knew we were meant to be in your kindrily.”