Candle in the Darkness

by Lynn Austin

  When she could no longer stand the sight of her beloved city, she asked Gilbert to take her home.

  That day, April 4, President Lincoln arrived to tour the vanquished city. Eli and Gilbert took all of the other servants down to Capitol Square to cheer for the president who had purchased their freedom. Even baby Isaac got a glimpse of the man the Negroes hailed as their Moses.

  Not quite a week after Richmond fell, General Lee and his exhausted troops surrendered to General Grant at Appomattox Court House. Charles laid down his rifle for the last time in bitter defeat. He and the friends he had fought and starved beside for four long years would finally go home. But when Charles arrived in Richmond, it was to a house of mourning. His father had died on April 9, the day Lee surrendered.

  One week after the surrender at Appomattox, Josiah walked through the kitchen door as Caroline and the others were eating their dinner. Between the three of them, Tessie, Eli, and Esther, they hugged Josiah so hard they nearly knocked him to the ground.

  “Ain’t no one ever gonna make us be apart again,” Tessie cried. “We’re free!”

  But their joyful reunion was tempered with sorrow as Eli told his son the news: “President Lincoln, the man who set us free, died today from an assassin’s bullet.”

  “Dear Lord have mercy!” Esther cried, running from the house to the backyard. “Would y’all come inside and look who’s here!”

  Caroline was in the backyard with the others that warm May evening, watching Eli, Josiah, and Gilbert dig up another section of the yard to plant vegetables. The air was ripe with the scent of spring and with the horse manure the men were spading into the soil. Esther had heard the front door chimes and offered to see who it was. Now she was dancing from one foot to the other in excitement.

  “Come on, y’all! Hurry up!”

  Caroline ran inside ahead of the others, then stopped in amazement when she reached the foyer. The two thin, bedraggled-looking men standing in her doorway were her father and her cousin Jonathan. She didn’t know which one to hug first.

  “Thank God, thank God,” she wept as she hugged them both again and again. “Where have you been all this time? I thought you were dead.”

  “I thought I was, too, Sugar. More than once,” her father said.

  “We ran into each other at Fort Delaware—the prisoner of war camp,” Jonathan explained. “Uncle George kept me alive. I thought the least I could do was bring him home.”

  “Kept you alive?”

  “He used some of the gold he had with him to bribe the guards, buying us extra rations and a warm blanket. I owe him my life.”

  “I still can’t believe you’re both here . . . that you’re alive!” she repeated.

  “Didn’t I promise that I would be back to dance with you?” Jonathan grinned and pulled her into his arms to waltz her around the foyer. He wore the same lively, impish grin she had loved since the day they’d first met. She was so glad that at least one thing hadn’t changed. “I’ll be back to collect a second dance another day,” he said. “I want to see Sally. I want to go home to my wife.”

  “She’ll be the happiest woman in the world when she sees you.”

  Jonathan’s smile faded for a moment. “Where’s Charles?” he asked. “Why isn’t he here with you? Please tell me that he made it through the war all right.”

  Pain knifed through Caroline at the mention of his name. Jonathan would learn the truth soon enough. She decided not to spoil his joyful homecoming. “Charles made it through, safe and sound,” she said, smiling bravely.

  “You mean I made it home in time for your wedding?”

  “Go now. Hurry!” she said as tears filled her eyes. “Sally’s waiting.”

  Suddenly Josiah spoke up from behind her. “I be glad to drive you down there, Jonathan,” he said. “It’s awful far to walk.”

  Jonathan looked stunned. “Thanks, Josiah,” he finally said. “I’d appreciate a ride.”

  Caroline drew her cousin into her arms again, hugging him close for what she knew would be the last time. Sally and Charles would tell him what she had done. Like the others, Jonathan would neither understand nor forgive her. His brother Will was dead, his home at Hilltop ruined. And she had helped his enemies.

  “Good-bye,” she whispered. “Thanks for bringing Daddy home.”

  When they were gone, Caroline became aware, for the first time, of all the servants, standing in the hallway behind her, staring at her father as if they were seeing a ghost. She wasn’t entirely sure that they weren’t.

  “Sure is good to see you, Massa Fletcher,” Gilbert said.

  “Well, now. It’s good to see all of you, too. I thought for sure y’all would have run off by now, like every other servant in the state of Virginia.”

  “No, Daddy. They all stayed here with me. They saved my life. I would have starved to death if it weren’t for them.”

  He looked at them for a long moment. “I’m grateful to you,” he said quietly. “Now then, I don’t suppose a man could get something to drink around here?”

  “Sorry, sir,” Gilbert said. “Drink’s been long gone.”

  “I ran out of gold a long time ago, Daddy. It went fast, with flour costing five hundred dollars a barrel.”

  “Well, here. Maybe this will help.” He removed his jacket and handed it to Caroline.

  “This jacket weighs a ton.”

  “I know. It’s a wonder I didn’t sink to the bottom of the harbor when those blasted Yankees sank my boat. I sewed my gold inside the seams so it would be safe. For goodness’ sake, rip it out and buy me something to eat. I’m starved.”

  “That’s music to my ears,” Esther said.

  “You mean . . . we’re not broke?” Caroline asked.

  “Heavens, no. I told you I made a fortune as a privateer. I just wasn’t able to get it all home safely during the war.We have plenty of gold and even some U.S. Treasury notes hidden away down in the islands. I plan to go collect it all, first chance I get. I could use someone to go with me, but I don’t suppose Jonathan or Charles will want to leave home anytime soon.”

  Caroline couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her face. “I know someone who would love to go with you, Daddy.”

  “Who?”

  “Gilbert.”

  Her father looked at Caroline, then at Gilbert, as if they were both out of their minds. “Go ahead, Daddy,” she said. “Ask him.”

  “I’d be mighty pleased to go with you, Massa Fletcher,” Gilbert said before her father could open his mouth. “I been hoping you’d ask me someday.”

  “Well, I’ll be darned,” he said. He looked around at all of them in amazement, then noticed the walls of the foyer for the first time. “Good heavens!” he cried as he stared at the ragged patches of bare plaster where the wallpaper had been. “What on earth have you done to my house?”

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  June 1865

  “Some of these books are going to be easier for my students to read than others,” Caroline told Ruby as she handed her another pile.

  “Easy or hard, they could all use a good dusting,” Ruby grumbled.

  Caroline had attended worship services with Eli at his African Baptist Church, where he’d announced to his congregation that she was willing to teach classes to anyone who wanted to learn to read and write. Hundreds of former slaves had hurried forward to sign up. Now she was working in her father’s library, putting his books in order and making a list of the titles she could use with her students.

  When the front door chimes suddenly rang, Ruby set her armload of books on the desk. “Who’s pestering us now?”

  “If it’s someone who wants to sign up for classes, send him in,” she called after Ruby. Then she realized that all of her potential students were former slaves who would never dream of coming to her front door. She listened for a moment to see if she could recognize the person’s voice. Instead, she heard Ruby shouting in anger.

  “You get on out of here! A
in’t no Yankees welcome in this house! Go away!”

  Caroline jumped down from the chair she was standing on and ran to the foyer. Ruby was trying to close the door on a man in a Federal uniform. The officer had his foot wedged inside, preventing it from shutting.

  “Wait a minute, please,” the Yankee begged. “It’s me, Robert Hoffman.”

  Caroline froze in shock at the name, then stared in disbelief. She recognized him now. Robert had gained back the weight he’d lost in Libby Prison, and he looked surprisingly handsome in his navy blue uniform, his black hair and mustache neatly groomed, his brass buttons and belt buckle shiny, his boots polished. She couldn’t believe her eyes. For the first time in his life, Robert looked every inch the army officer he’d always longed to be.

  “Go away!” Ruby said, pushing hard against the door. “You gonna get Miss Caroline and the rest of us in trouble waltzing up to the front door in that uniform. You the enemy! Get on out of here!”

  “Caroline, it’s me,” Robert shouted when he saw her. “What’s wrong with Ruby? She’s acting like I’m a stranger. Please, tell her to let me in.”

  “No. She’s right, Robert. You have to go away. You’re putting me in danger.”

  “What are you talking about? I would never—”

  “There are rumors all over town that I betrayed the Confederacy. I’m hated enough as it is. Please leave.”

  Robert looked at her for a long moment in sorrow and disbelief. Then he pulled his foot out of the way and left. Ruby slammed the door behind him.

  “I’m awful sorry for turning Massa Robert away like that. But everybody in the whole neighborhood looking out their windows and watching that Yankee man sashay up to your door, tying his fat Yankee horse to our post. We let him inside, they be hating you for certain.”

  “Thank you, Ruby,” she said. “You did the right thing.”

  But later that night, when it was dark, Robert returned. He came to the back door this time, tying his fat Yankee horse to her back gate where fewer people would see it. He was dressed in civilian clothes instead of his uniform. Even so, Caroline didn’t invite him into the house but stood outside the open drawing room doors to talk to him. The June evening was clear and warm, the sky sprinkled with stars.

  “I’m sorry for coming to the front door this morning,” he said. “I never meant to get you into trouble. I didn’t know. . .”

  “That I’d been caught spying?”

  “There wasn’t any record of your arrest . . . I checked.”

  “That’s because Richmond fell and the war ended before they had a chance to punish me for my crimes.”

  “I’m sorry. I only wanted to make sure that you were all right and to see if there was anything you needed. I’m stationed here in Richmond for the time being. I can make sure that you receive food rations, that you’re protected. The army wants to show you their appreciation for all your help . . . and so do I.”

  Caroline folded her arms across her chest, hugging herself. “The best way to help me is to stay far away and leave me alone. If you hang around here, bringing me food and doing special favors for me, it will only make things worse.”

  “You sound so bitter, Caroline. I thought you wanted to see the Union restored and the slaves freed.”

  “I did.”

  “Then why. . . ?” He stopped himself. Gently, carefully, he unfolded her arms and took her left hand in his. He rubbed the empty place on her finger where the ruby ring had once been.

  “What happened, Caroline?”

  She bit her lip, unable to answer.

  “Forgive me for hurting you, but I need to know. Your fianceé. . . ?”

  “Charles survived the war,” she finally managed to say. “But he can’t forgive me for helping you.”

  “How did he find out?”

  “I told him.”

  “I’m sorry . . . I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me, since I was the one who got you involved—”

  “I don’t blame you or hate you,” she said wearily. “I could have refused to help you. I knew what I was getting into. And deep down I guess I always knew I was risking my future with Charles.”

  They stood in silence for a long moment as crickets chirped and a carriage rattled past on the street out front. Caroline wanted Robert to leave, and yet she didn’t. His voice was warm, his presence comforting somehow. He was the first visitor she had talked to since her father had left on his voyage three weeks ago. And she was so very tired of being alone.

  “I know my timing is probably all wrong,” Robert said quietly, “and that I’m being very insensitive, but I have to say this. I love you, Caroline. I never stopped loving you from the time we first danced together in Philadelphia. My love grew even stronger when you visited me in prison for all those months. And when you helped me escape.”

  “Robert . . . please, don’t . . .”

  “I would take good care of you, Caroline. We could move away from here if you wanted to, and go home to Philadelphia. Or we could start all over again someplace new, wherever you choose. I know you don’t love me yet, but maybe in time . . . they say love can sometimes grow from fondness and friendship if you give it a chance.”

  Sweet, gentle Robert. He was offering to rescue her, willing to play the role he had played in Philadelphia and be her island of safety, her refuge. But was it fair to use him this way? He had always been her dear friend. Might love grow from that friendship?

  She was about to answer, to tell him that it was still too soon to make such an important decision about her future, when Robert spoke first.

  “I don’t need an answer now. I’ll wait, Caroline. I’ll wait forever if I have to. In the meantime, may I visit you again?”

  She felt the ache of loneliness and nodded.

  “Thank you.” He lifted her hand and kissed it tenderly. He rested his cheek against it for a moment, then kissed it again. She remembered Charles once kissing her hand the same way. She watched Robert walk through the gate, mount his horse, and ride away.

  She was still standing outside the drawing room doors, gazing at the star-filled sky through her tears, when Tessie walked quietly across the yard to stand by her side.

  “Is Isaac asleep already?” Caroline asked her.

  “No, but his daddy’s gonna put him to bed tonight,” she said, smiling slightly. “He in there telling him stories.”

  For some reason, Caroline remembered the morning in the train station when she had asked Charles to tell Josiah that he was going to be a father. “Josiah is never going to be a father in the sense that you mean,” Charles had said. But now he was. She wished that Charles could see how happy Josiah was for the first time in his life. She wondered what Charles would say if he could see him rocking his son to sleep.

  All of her servants were happy. Six months ago, on Christmas Day, they had shared their dreams for the future, dreams that were being wonderfully fulfilled. Josiah was back home. Eli had his church. Esther had food to cook again. Luella had married her sweetheart, Gus. And as improbable as Gilbert’s dream had seemed, he was now on his way to Bermuda with Daddy and might even find himself a wife. Caroline’s own wish that her father and her cousin Jonathan would return home safely had been miraculously fulfilled. And Caroline loved her work as a teacher. Why, then, did she still feel so restless and unhappy?

  “You all right, honey?” Tessie asked.

  “Robert was just here.”

  “I know. . . . You all right?”

  “He told me that he loves me. He asked me to marry him. He said he would take me away from Richmond if I wanted to go. We could live in Philadelphia . . . anywhere, he said.”

  “That what you wanting to do?” Tessie asked. “Get away from here and all the memories?”

  “I don’t know, Tessie. I don’t know what I want. I hoped that by now my love for Charles would start to fade. That I would be able to stop thinking about him, stop hoping that he would come back someday. I’m so tired of hurting,
so tired of living without him.”

  “Do you think Robert could ever take Massa Charles’ place in your heart?”

  “When I saw him standing out here in the darkness tonight, his face was in the shadows . . . and for one terrible, wonderful moment I thought he was Charles.” She paused, biting her lip.

  “If it had been him,” Tessie asked, “would you still marry him?”

  “Yes—a thousand times, yes. But it will never happen.” A single tear rolled down her cheek. “You told me that love only comes around once in most people’s lives . . . that we don’t get a second chance. Remember, Tessie?”

  “Seem like a long time ago, honey. Back when you still writing all those letters to Massa Robert at West Point.”

  “Tonight, after I’d talked to Robert for a while, I really didn’t want him to leave. It was so nice to have him here. So nice to have . . . a friend to talk to. I’m fond of Robert. He says our friendship could grow into love if I gave it a chance. Do you think he’s right, Tessie? Do you think if we moved away from Richmond and started all over again someplace else that I would learn to love him someday? I know he would be good to me. . . .”

  Tessie’s brow furrowed with concern. “Do you have to decide right away?”

  “No. Robert said he would wait. I told him he could come back and visit me again.”

  “Please, take your time, Missy. It’s too soon for you to decide to stay or go. Give your heart a chance to heal.”

  Caroline looked up at the stars again. They looked blurry through her tears. “I honestly don’t think it ever will heal,” she murmured.

  Tessie climbed the ladder to the loft above the kitchen where she and Josiah slept. Moonlight, filtering through the leaves outside, made the room dim, but she could see her husband leaning with his back against the wall, holding their sleeping son in his arms.