Philo Vance 12 Novels Complete Bundle

by S. S. Van Dine

  "For God's sake, be still." Markham was irritable.

  Vance looked at him in troubled concern.

  "Your hands are tied by the technicalities of a legalistic system; and, as a result, a creature like Bliss is to be turned loose on the world. Moreover, a harmless chap like Salveter is to be put under suspicion and ruined. Also, Meryt-Amen--a courageous lady--"

  "I realize all that." Markham raised himself, an agonized look on his face. "And yet, Vance, there's not one piece of convincing evidence against Bliss."

  "Most distressin'. Your only hope seems to be that the eminent doctor will meet with a sudden and fatal accident. Such things do happen, don't y' know."

  Vance smoked for a moment.

  "If only Hani's gods had the supernatural power attributed to them!" he sighed. "How deuced simple! And really, Anûbis hasn't shown up at all well in this affair. He's been excruciatingly lazy. As the god of the underworld--"

  "That's enough!" Markham rose. "Have a little sense of propriety. Being an aesthete without responsibilities is no doubt delightful, but the world's work must go on. . . ."

  "Oh, by all means." Vance seemed wholly indifferent to the other's outburst. "I say, you might draw up a new law altering the existing rules of evidence, and present it to the legislature. The only difficulty would be that, by the time those intellectual Sandows got through debating and appointing committees, you and I and the Sergeant and Bliss would have passed forever down the dim corridors of time."

  Markham slowly turned toward Vance. His eyes were mere slits.

  "What's behind this childish garrulity?" he demanded. "You've got something on your mind."

  Vance seated himself on the edge of the table and, putting out his cigarette, thrust his hands deep into his pockets.

  "Markham," he said, with serious deliberation, "you know, as well as I, that Bliss is outside the law, and that there's no human way to convict him. The only means by which he can be brought to book is trickery."

  "Trickery?" Markham was momentarily indignant.

  "Oh, nothing reprehensible," Vance answered lightly, taking out another cigarette. "Consider, Markham. . . ." And he launched out into a detailed recapitulation of the case. I could not understand the object of his wordy repetitions, for they seemed to have little bearing on the crucial point at issue. And Markham, also, was puzzled. Several times he attempted to interrupt, but Vance held up his hand imperatively and continued with his résumé.

  After ten minutes Markham refused to be silenced.

  "Come to the point, Vance," he said somewhat angrily. "You've gone over all this before. Have you--or haven't you--any suggestion?"

  "Yes, I have a suggestion." Vance spoke earnestly. "It's a psychological experiment; and there is a chance that it'll prove effective. I believe that if Bliss were confronted suddenly with what we know, and if a little forceful chicanery were used on him, he might be surprised into an admission that would give you a hold on him. He doesn't know we found Scarlett in the sarcophagus, and we might pretend that we have got an incriminatin' statement from the poor chap. We might go so far as to tell him that Mrs. Bliss is thoroughly convinced of the truth; for if he believes that his plot has failed and that there is no hope of his continuing his excavations, he may even confess everything. Bliss is a colossal egoist, and, if cornered, might blurt out the truth and boast of his cleverness. And you must admit that your one chance of shipping the old codger to the executioner lies in a confession."

  "Chief, couldn't we arrest the guy on the evidence he planted against himself?" Heath asked irritably. "There was that scarab pin, and the bloody foot-marks and the finger-prints--"

  "No, no, Sergeant." Markham was impatient. "He has covered himself at every point. And the moment we arrested him he'd turn on Salveter. All we'd achieve would be the ruination of an innocent man and the unhappiness of Mrs. Bliss."

  Heath capitulated.

  "Yeah, I can see that," he said sourly, after a moment. "But this situation slays me. I've known some clever crooks in my day; but this bird Bliss has 'em all beat . . . . Why not take Mr. Vance's suggestion?"

  Markham halted in his nervous pacing, and set his jaw.

  "I guess we'll have to." He fixed his gaze on Vance. "But don't handle him with silk gloves."

  "Really, now, I never wear 'em. Chamois, yes--on certain occasions. And in winter I'm partial to pigskin and reindeer. But silk! Oh, my word! . . ."

  He went to the folding door and threw it open. Hani stood just outside in the hall, with folded arms, a silent, watchful sentinel.

  "Has the doctor left the study?" Vance asked.

  "No, effendi." Hani's eyes looked straight ahead.

  "Good!" Vance started down the hall. "Come, Markham. Let's see what a bit of extra-legal persuasion will do."

  Markham and Heath and I followed him. He did not knock on the study door, but threw it open unceremoniously.

  "Oh, I say! Something's amiss." Vance's comment came simultaneously with our realization that the study was empty. "Dashed queer." He went to the steel door leading to the spiral stairs, and opened it. "No doubt the doctor is communin' with his treasures." He passed through the door and descended the steps, the rest of us trailing along.

  Vance drew up at the foot of the stairs and put his hand to his forehead.

  "We'll never interview Bliss again in this world," he said in a low voice.

  There was no need for him to explain. In the corner opposite, in almost the exact place where we had found Kyle's body the preceding day, Bliss lay sprawled face downward in a pool of blood. Across the back of his crushed skull stretched the life-sized statue of Anûbis. The heavy figure of the underworld god had apparently fallen on him as he leaned over his precious items in the cabinet before which he had murdered Kyle. The coincidence was so staggering that none of us was able to speak for several moments. We stood, in a kind of paralyzed awe, looking down on the body of the great Egyptologist.

  Markham was the first to break the silence.

  "It's incredible!" His voice was strained and unnatural. "There's a divine retribution in this."

  "Oh, doubtless." Vance moved to the feet of the statue and bent over. "However, I don't go in for mysticism myself. I'm an empiricist--same like Weininger said the English are."* He adjusted his monocle. "Ah! . . . Sorry to disappoint you, and all that. But there's nothing supernatural about the demise of the doctor. Behold, Markham, the broken ankles of Anûbis. . . . The situation is quite obvious. While the doctor was leaning over his treasure, he jarred the statue in some way, and it toppled over on him."

  * Vance was here referring to the famous passage in the Chapter--"Das Judentum"--in Otto Weininger's "Geschlecht und Charakter": "Der Engländer hat dem Deutschen als tüchtiger, Empiriker, als Realpolitiker im Praktischen wie im Theoretischen, imponiert, aber damit ist seine Wichtigkeit für die Philosophie auch erschöpft. Es hat noch nie einen tieferen Denker gegeben, der beim Empirismus stehen geblieben ist; und noch nie einen Engländer, der über ihn selbstständig hinausgekommen wäre."

  We all bent forward. The heavy base of the statue of Anûbis stood where it had been when we first saw it; but the figure, from the ankles up, had broken off.

  "You see," Vance was saying, pointing to the base, "the ankles are very slender, and the statue is made of limestone--a rather fragile substance. The ankles no doubt were cracked in shipping, and the tremendous weight of the body weakened the flaw."

  Heath inspected the statue closely.

  "That's what happened, all right," he remarked, straightening up. . . ." I ain't had many breaks in my life, Chief," he added to Markham with feigned jauntiness; "but I never want a better one than this. Mr. Vance mighta lured the doc into a confession--and he mighta failed. Now we got nothing to worry about."

  "Quite true." Markham nodded vaguely. He was still under the influence of the astounding change in the situation. "I'm leaving you in charge, Sergeant. You'd better call the local ambulance and get the Medical Examiner. Phon
e me at home as soon as the routine work is finished. I'll take care of the reporters in the morning. . . . The case is on the shelf, thank God!"

  He stood for some time, his eyes fixed on the body. He looked almost haggard, but I knew a great weight had been taken off of his mind by Bliss's unexpected death.

  "I'll attend to everything, sir," Heath assured him. "But what about breaking the news to Mrs. Bliss?"

  "Hani will do that," said Vance. He put his hand on Markham's arm. "Come along, old friend. You need sleep. . . . Let's stagger round to my humble abode, and I'll give you a brandy-and-soda. I still have some Napoléon-'48 left."

  "Thanks." Markham drew a deep sigh.

  As we emerged into the front hall Vance beckoned to Hani.

  "Very touchin', but your beloved employer has gone to Amentet to join the shades of the Pharaohs."

  "He is dead?" the Egyptian lifted his eyebrows slightly.

  "Oh, quite, Hani. Anûbis fell on him as he leaned over the end cabinet. A most effective death. But there was a certain justice in it. Doctor Bliss was guilty of Mr. Kyle's murder."

  "You and I knew that all along, effendi." The man smiled wistfuly at Vance. "But I fear that the doctor's death may have been my fault. When I unpacked the statue of Anûbis and set it in the corner, I noticed that the ankles were cracked. I did not tell the doctor, for I was afraid he might accuse me of having been careless, or of having deliberately injured his treasure."

  "No one is going to blame you for Doctor Bliss's death," Vance said casually. "We're leaving you to inform Mrs. Bliss of the tragedy. And Mr. Salveter will be returning early to-morrow morning. . . . Es-salâmu alei-kum."

  "Ma es salâm, effendi."

  Vance and Markham and I passed out into the heavy night air.

  "Let's walk," Vance said. "It's only a little over a mile to my apartment, and I feel the need of exercise."

  Markham fell in with the suggestion, and we strolled toward Fifth Avenue in silence. When we had crossed Madison Square and passed the Stuyvesant Club, Markham spoke.

  "It's almost unbelievable, Vance. It's the sort of thing that makes one superstitious. Here we were, confronted by an insoluble problem. We knew Bliss was guilty, and yet there was no way to reach him. And while we were debating the case he stepped into the museum and was accidentally killed by a falling statue on practically the same spot where he murdered Kyle. . . . Damn it! Such things don't happen in the orderly course of the world's events. And what makes it even more fantastic is that you suggested that he might meet with an accident."

  "Yes, yes. Interestin' coincidence." Vance seemed disinclined to discuss the matter.

  "And that Egyptian," Markham rumbled on. "He wasn't in the least astonished when you informed him of Bliss's death. He acted almost as if he expected some such news--"

  He suddenly drew up short. Vance and I stopped, too, and looked at him. His eyes were blazing.

  "Hani killed Bliss!"

  Vance sighed and shrugged.

  "Of course he did, Markham. My word! I thought you understood the situation."

  "Understood?" Markham was spluttering. "What do you mean?"

  "It was all so obvious, don't y' know," Vance said mildly. "I realized, just as you did, that there was no chance of convicting Bliss; so I suggested to Hani how he could terminate the whole silly affair--"

  "You suggested to Hani?"

  "During our conversation in the drawing-room. Really, Markham old dear, I'm not in the habit of indulgin' in weird conversations about mythology unless I have a reason. I simply let Hani know there was no legal way of bringing Bliss to justice, and intimated how he could overcome the difficulty and incidentally save you from a most embarrassin' predicament. . . ."

  "But Hani was in the hall, with the door closed." Markham's indignation was rising.

  "Quite so. I told him to stand outside the door. I knew very well he'd listen to us. . . ."

  "You deliberately--"

  "Oh, most deliberately." Vance spread his hands in a gesture of surrender. "While I babbled to you and appeared foolish no doubt, I was really talking to Hani. Of couse, I didn't know if he would grasp the opportunity or not. But he did. He equipped himself with a mace from the museum--I do hope it was the same mace that Bliss used on Kyle--and struck Bliss over the head. Then he dragged the body down the spiral stairs and laid it at the feet of Anûbis. With the mace he broke the statue's sandstone ankles, and dropped the figure over Bliss's skull. Very simple."

  "And all that rambling chatter of yours in the drawing-room--"

  "Was merely to keep you and Heath away in case Hani decided to act."

  Markham's eyes narrowed.

  "You can't get away with that sort of thing, Vance. I'll send Hani up for murder. There'll be finger-prints--"

  "Oh, no there won't, Markham. Didn't you notice the gloves on the hat-rack? Hani is no fool. He put on the gloves before he went to the study. You'd have a harder time convicting him than you'd have had convicting Bliss. Personally, I rather admire Hani. Stout fella!"

  For a time Markham was too angry to speak. Finally, however, he gave voice to an ejaculation.

  "It's outrageous!"

  "Of course it is," Vance agreed amiably. "So was the murder of Kyle." He lighted a cigarette and puffed on it cheerfully. "The trouble with you lawyers is, you're jealous and blood-thirsty. You wanted to send Bliss to the electric chair yourself, and couldn't; and Hani simplified everything for you. As I see it, you're merely disappointed because some one else took Bliss's life before you could get round to it. . . . Really, y' know, Markham, you're frightfully selfish."

  I feel that a short postscript will not be amiss. Markham had no difficulty, as you will no doubt remember, in convincing the press that Bliss had been guilty of the murder of Benjamin H. Kyle, and that his tragic "accidental" death had in it much of what is commonly called divine justice.

  Scarlett, contrary to the doctor's prediction, recovered; but it was many weeks before he could talk rationally. Vance and I visited him in the hospital late in August, and he corroborated Vance's theory about what had happened on that fatal night in the museum. Scarlett went to England early in September,--his father had died, leaving him an involved estate in Bedfordshire.

  Mrs. Bliss and Salveter were married in Nice late the following spring; and the excavations of Intef's tomb, I see from the bulletins of the Archaeological Institute, are continuing. Salveter is in charge of the work, and I am rather happy to note that Scarlett is the technical expert of the expedition.

  Hani, according to a recent letter from Salveter to Vance, has become reconciled to the "desecration of the tombs of his ancestors." He is still with Meryt-Amen and Salveter, and I'm inclined to think that his personal love for these two young people is stronger than his national prejudices.

  THE END

  THE KENNEL MURDER CASE

  A Philo Vance Story

  by

  S. S. Van Dine

  1933

  TO

  THE SCOTTISH TERRIER CLUB

  OF AMERICA

  CONTENTS

  I. The Bolted Bedroom

  II. The Dead Man

  III. A Startling Discovery

  IV. A Strange Interruption

  V. The Wounded Scottie

  VI. The Ivory-Headed Stick

  VII. The Missing Man

  VIII. The Ting Yao Vase

  IX. A Threat of Arrest

  X. "Needles and Pins"

  XI. More Bloodstains

  XII. The Chinese Chest

  XIII. The Scented Lip-stick

  XIV. Vance Experiments

  XV. The Dagger Strikes

  XVI. The Den Window

  XVII. The Six Judges

  XVIII. The Scottie's Trail

  XIX. Death and Revelations

  XX. The Startling Truth

  CHARACTERS OF THE BOOK

  Philo Vance

  John F.-X. Markham--District Attorney of New York County.

  Ernest Heat
h--Sergeant of the Homicide Bureau.

  Archer Coe--A collector of Chinese ceramics.

  Brisbane Coe--His brother.

  Raymond Wrede--A dilettante and friend of the Coes.

  Hilda Lake--Archer Coe's niece.

  Signor Eduàrdo Grassi--An officer in the Milan Museum of Oriental Antiquities.

  Liang Tsung Wei--The Coe cook.

  Gamble--The Coe butler.

  Luke Enright--An importer.

  Major Julius Higginbottom--Sportsman and dog breeder.

  Annie Cochrane--A maid.

  Hennessey--Detective of the Homicide Bureau.

  Burke--Detective of the Homicide Bureau.

  Snitkin--Detective of the Homicide Bureau.

  Sullivan--Detective of the Homicide Bureau.

  Emery--Detective of the Homicide Bureau.

  Guilfoyle--Detective of the Homicide Bureau.

  Captain Dubois--Finger-print expert.

  Detective Bellamy--Finger-print expert.

  Peter Quackenbush--Official photographer.

  Doctor Emanuel Doremus--Medical Examiner.

  Swacker--Secretary to the District Attorney.

  Currie--Vance's valet.

  THE KENNEL MURDER CASE

  CHAPTER I

  THE BOLTED BEDROOM

  (Thursday, October 11; 8.45 a. m.)

  It was exactly three months after the startling termination of the Scarab murder case* that Philo Vance was drawn into the subtlest and the most perplexing of all the criminal problems that came his way during the four years of John F.-X. Markham's incumbency as District Attorney of New York County.

  * "The Scarab Murder Case" (Scribners, 1930).