Marriage Mayhem

by Samuel L. Hair

  “I feel uncomfortable. I’m strictly dickly, you know. And even if I wasn’t, I would never fuck around with a fat, ugly bitch like you.”

  “Let me tell you something, you little sawed-off piece of shit; I can make your life a living hell while you’re here, or I can make it contented, so you really don’t want to get on my bad side.” Gina then walked away.

  The following morning after breakfast, Pat instructed Karen to clean up the kitchen, the bathroom, rake the leaves in the backyard, and afterward work with the cooks to begin preparing the evening meal for the residents in the program. Karen was furious. She felt that this was a payback for rejecting Gina. The worse part about it was that she had forgotten to take her medication, which meant that she was momentarily mentally off-balance.

  “What kind of shit is this? Is this a form of initiation, payback, or what?” Karen yelled, directing her question toward Gina and Pat.

  “Listen,” Pat said. “You do what we instruct you to do while you’re here!”

  “Unh-unh, y’all got me twisted! Both of y’all overweighted, mongoose-looking lesbian bitches can kiss my yellow ass! I’m outta here,” Karen yelled. Then she stormed to her room and began packing her belongings.

  Minutes later, Karen stormed out of the rehab center, toting her bags. Being in the middle of the desert, the nearest telephone booth was close to two miles away, but driven by anger, Karen made it there. Aggravated by the long, hot walk, and by what had taken place at the rehab center, Karen dialed Jermaine’s cell number.

  “I’ve left the program, baby.”

  “You did what?”

  “I refuse to put up with a bunch of bitches hating on me and disrespecting me!”

  “What are you talking about, Karen?”

  “Just come and get me, okay? I’m hot, frustrated, and feeling dehydrated, and I haven’t taken my medication, so please hurry before I fall out,” Karen said.

  Luckily Jermaine’s shift did not start until four p.m. That gave him three hours.

  Karen then phoned her probation officer to inform her of what had taken place at the rehabilitation center. She definitely had to cover her ass. Trying to be of assistance, Mrs. Carter gave Karen telephone numbers to a couple more programs.

  “Karen, I know how bad that mouth of yours is, and I know how defensive and feisty you can be at times. Keeping that in mind, I’m about to call and find out exactly what took place. Don’t hang yourself, Karen, you’re already walking on thin ice,” replied Mrs. Carter.

  “I’m not lying, Mrs. Carter, and I wish that people would stop judging me by my past.”

  “Until you prove to me that you are a 100 percent changed person, I’ve got to call it like I see it and call it like your record reflects.”

  “Whatever,” Karen answered, and then hung up.

  When Jermaine arrived, Karen had already called both of the rehabs and made a decision to check into the rehab in Lancaster. The name of the program was The Straight Way.

  After filling out the necessary paperwork and agreeing to the rules and regulations, Karen then went to her assigned room and got settled. So far so good. She sensed no arrogance or superiority in the staff members she had met so far, and the residents she’d met seemed to be cool and down-to-earth. After taking a nice, hot shower, and putting away her belongings, Karen decided to go to the auditorium and listen to a speaker who used to be an addict. He was speaking on his trials and tribulations; how his life was today as opposed to how it was when he was in his addiction.

  Practically all the residents attended and were giving the speaker their undivided attention. Already, Karen liked this place.

  “I was lost and turned out, my people,” said the speaker. “I was living for a high and nothing more. Everything I did and planned to do was aimed toward getting a hit. In the beginning stages of my addiction it bothered me to associate myself with street people, gang members, and drug dealers, but after awhile I had gotten use to it. I didn’t care who I was with, how they looked, or where we got high at. I smoked crack inside of service station restrooms, behind trash cans, in vacant houses, walking down the streets, in dangerous alleys, in cars whether they were parked or moving, and I even took a hit once inside my grandparents’ house, who were both Christians. I’ve had sex with two-dollar whores, with fifty-dollar whores, and with women that only wanted a can of beer for some sex. At that time in my life none of that type of stuff bothered me not one bit. I’ve stole from my parents and relatives, and from the people who really loved and cared about my well-being. But I didn’t care what I did or who got hurt behind my actions as long as I got me a hit. I have disappointed so many people who believed in me, but today, thanks to God and my awakening and my acceptance to repent, I have been clean and sober for six and a half years now. God woke me up one Sunday morning and led me to a church and then straight to the altar. Ever since that day I have been a changed man. Today I appreciate my life and I give all the thanks and glory to God.”

  The speech reminded Karen of herself. She related to everything the speaker had said. Afterward, she suddenly wanted to study her Bible, but first she decided to go take her medication.

  Chapter 7

  A few months later, while shopping inside a 99-cent store, Denise spotted Karen going down one of the aisles. She hurriedly grabbed her cell and phoned her husband. Karen had not seen her. That day was actually Karen’s graduation from the rehabilitation program.

  “Baby,” Denise said. “That bitch is right here in the ninety-nine-cent store on Valley Central Way.”

  “Is that right?” replied Maurice. “I think we should leave that bullshit alone, and put it behind us, babe. She’ll get what’s comin’ to her one way or another.”

  “Why you trippin’, baby? We told Tyrone that we would call him when we seen her, and she’s right goddamn here, so I’m about to call him.”

  “Leave it alone, babe. We don’t need any trouble. Those damn detectives are lying dead to nail me with anything, so it wouldn’t be a good idea to wake up the dead. Leave it buried, babe.”

  “You’re trippin’, Maurice.”

  “Whatever, Denise, just do like I said and leave it alone.”

  Denise suddenly thought about how Karen had caused animosity between her and her father, then she thought about Maurice being shot, and then she thought about what her Aunt Mable had told her. With all this in mind Denise left the shopping cart in the center of the aisle and left the store. Once inside her car she phoned Tyrone.

  “Is this Tyrone?” Denise asked.

  “Yeah, who is this?”

  “This is Denise in Lancaster.”

  “Oh, what’s up, baby girl?”

  “I just wanted to let you know that I just saw Karen in a ninety-nine-cent store out here.”

  “No shit! Stick to that bitch like glue until I get out there! Follow her and find out where she lives. I’m on my way, baby girl.”

  “Now listen, Tyrone, I’m not trying to be a co-conspirator to a killing, you know. All I want you to do is teach the bitch a lesson,” Denise clarified.

  “Yeah, I’m gonna teach the bitch a lesson all right. It’s all good, baby girl, don’t worry ’bout nothin’,” Tyrone said sarcastically, and then hung up.

  Denise threw on her shades and sat low in her driver’s seat. This was her one chance to get revenge on Karen from what she had done to her husband, and from poisoning her relationship with her father. Before Karen had come into Jermaine’s life, Denise and her father used to have daily, open discussions just about any and everything. They cheered together watching Lakers games on television, they went to movies and to lunch occasionally, they rented movies from Blockbuster and watched them until they both fell asleep, and sometimes her father would even ride her bus while she was working. They used to spend lots of quality time together, but not since Karen had been in the picture. Denise was not normally the type of woman who entertained evil thoughts, but this was something different; this pertained to her husban
d and father. By no means could this be overlooked. It was now time to deal with this heffa.

  Karen exited the store carrying a couple of bags, and then proudly proceeded to the bus stop. Then she grabbed her cell and called Jermaine.

  “I love you so much, Jermaine. Words cannot explain how much I really love you. I appreciate your love and concern about me, and I also appreciate you staying in my corner and not giving up on me. God blessed me with you, and I promise to never do anything again to jeopardize our marriage and friendship.” Her words were from the bottom of her heart.

  “My vows were to love you through thick and thin, through sickness or good health, and for rich or poor. What you had was a sickness, sweetheart, and it just would not have been right for me to leave you while you were sick. I take my vows seriously, and like I said in the beginning, I’ll love you until the day I die.” His words were very intense.

  Karen’s next call was to her sister.

  “Hey, girl,” Karen said, in good spirits.

  “Hey, Karen, how you doing?” asked Jewell, dryly. Jewell was basically tired of hearing the same old song from Karen each time she relapsed or went to jail. Even though she received a check every month for each kid, it simply was not worth the stress and inconvenience she had to tolerate. She was simply fed up with keeping Karen’s kids and more so was her husband.

  “You know I graduate today, girl. I feel so good today that I feel like screaming, but instead I’m just rejoicing and praising the lord. God is good, girl, and I am truly blessed. I’ve been going to church every Tuesday night, Thursday night, and Saturday night, and I’ve been reading my Bible every single day. Girl, I’m just feel amazingly blessed. Are you coming to my graduation?” Karen asked, hoping that her sister would come and bring the kids.

  “Girl, these kids got me so tied up doing this and doing that, to be honest with you I don’t think I’ll be able to make it. Between your three and my four, my hands are tied twenty-four-seven,” Jewell replied.

  Even if she didn’t have her hands full with the kids, she still wouldn’t have gone. She was just simply tired of hearing the same old shit each time Karen got released from jail or graduated from rehab.

  “Don’t worry about it, sis, I understand. Anyway, Jermaine and I are coming over after my graduation to pick up the kids and take them home. If it’s not a problem, please have their clothes ready, okay? Take care and I’ll talk to you later.” The connection was then broken.

  Other than the residents and staff at the rehabilitation center, Jermaine was going to be the only one present on Karen’s behalf. Her family members were simply tired of giving her support one way or another and being let down in the long run.

  Denise ignored the continual calls from her husband and soon turned her phone off. Karen had just stepped onto the bus.

  Denise then started her engine and began trailing the bus by a few car lengths. About twenty minutes later, Karen finally exited the bus and proceeded toward the rehabilitation center. Denise was very careful not to get too close. She had gotten too far to blow her cover.

  Moments later, Karen was walking inside of the rehab center. Seeing exactly what house Karen went inside, Denise sped up to it, wrote down the address, and then sped off. On her way back to the 99-cent store to continue shopping, Denise gave Tyrone a quick call, giving him the address and also the directions to Karen’s whereabouts.

  “Let me know when you’ve handled your business,” Denise said to Tyrone.

  “Don’t trip, baby girl, I’ll let you know,” Tyrone replied, en route to Lancaster.

  Tyrone sped in and out of traffic, reaching speeds of a hundred miles an hour in hopes to catch up with Karen, but unfortunately the Regal suddenly cut off. He was out of gas.

  “What the fuck, man?” shouted one of his homeboys from the backseat.

  “The nigga probably out of gas,” said his homeboy sitting in the passenger’s seat.

  “Fuck y’all niggas,” Tyrone yelled, hoping that the car rolled to the shoulder, but it had abruptly stopped in the middle of ongoing traffic. People began honking and flipping them off.

  “Look at the gas needle. I can’t believe this nigga got us to go on a mission and didn’t have any fuckin’ gas. The fuckin’ needle is behind empty, cuz.

  “Who got a few dollars?” Tyrone asked.

  “Nigga, don’t tell me you ain’t got no gas or no money.”

  “That’s what I’m tellin’ you, nigga. Now, my question was, do any of you niggas got a few dollars?”

  “Man, my girl gonna break me off when she get her welfare check, but right now I’m tapped out,” replied G Money.

  “I don’t see why people call you G Money and your ass is always broke. That kind of name belongs to a baller, not to broke-ass nigga,” Tyrone said.

  “Fuck you, nigga. My day is coming. The first is almost here, so don’t trip.”

  “I ain’t made no sales yet, and I had just re-copped, you know what I’m sayin’? A nigga short for the moment, homey, but it’ll be greater later,” answered Lil’ Bo-low.

  “I ain’t got no money either, cuz. Hell, you’re the one that came to get me to go on a mission, if anything, nigga, you should be paying me, but I ain’t trippin’,” responded Charlie C.

  “I don’t believe this shit!” Tyrone yelled. “Four niggas ain’t even got one funky-ass dollar between them. That’s a goddamn shame.”

  “Blame yourself, nigga. Don’t be trippin’ on us,” said Charlie C.

  They soon bailed out of the car and pushed it to the shoulder and left it, and then began walking to the next exit. Tyrone then called one of his homeboys named Papa to pick them up and take them to Lancaster. An hour later, Papa showed up.

  “Damn man, I hope I don’t miss that bitch! But fuck it, as long as I’ve got an address, I’m straight,” Tyrone said as they pulled off.

  Jermaine had purchased Karen a beautiful lavender dress with matching low pumps. He had also paid for her to get a manicure, pedicure, and a bad hairstyle. She looked totally stunning, somewhat like she looked the day of her wedding. She stood proudly, smiling onstage, accepting her award of completion along with a six-month clean and sober chip. She was required to make a speech expressing how the program had assisted her in her thinking, personality change, religion, and was also obligated to discuss her plans for the future. All eyes were on her as she began speaking.

  “First of all, I would like to thank God. And secondly, I want to thank my husband for never giving up on me. His love and support was unbelievably real. Actually, I thought I had lost him when I left home and took to the streets, but thank God we’re reunited. I also want to thank the residents and staff for their encouragement, concern, and guidance. Today my thinking is totally different than it was when I was in the world surrounded by sin and cracked out. Crack had completely stripped me of all my qualities and morals. Today, God is the director of my heart and mind and my family is my reason to remain clean and sober. When I was out there I didn’t care about if I lived another day, or how I looked, or what people thought of me; the only thing I cared about was how I was going to get my next hit. I thank God that I can see clearly now, and I thank God that the devil has no power or control over my mind.”

  Jermaine approached her onstage and wiped the flow of tears from her eyes, and then kissed her. Several staff members and residents surrounded her and embraced her with hugs, wishing her well.

  “I am so proud of you baby,” Jermaine sincerely expressed as he lovingly fed Karen forkfuls of cake that were served at the graduate’s reception. Fifteen minutes later, Karen and Jermaine said good-bye, and then left.

  Jermaine was very impressed by his wife’s speech and appearance, but he hoped and prayed that her interior was just as pure and beautiful as her exterior was. One of his father’s favorite sayings was, “A pretty woman without a good head on her shoulders or a good heart, is just like a Rolls-Royce without an engine; it’s only good for its looks and nothing more.”


  Jermaine prayed that would not be the case with his wife.

  Before picking up the kids Jermaine treated his wife to dinner at Red Lobster. While eating they talked, laughed, and made future plans to begin taking vacations once a year, and to begin spending more quality time together as a family.

  Denise sat quietly thinking on her sofa, waiting for Tyrone’s call. He should have called me by now. I wonder if he already beat her up. I hope he doesn’t kill her because that would involve me in a murder. Hurry up and call me, Tyrone.

  Maurice’s mind was preoccupied watching Court TV, but he strongly sensed that his wife was up to something because normally she was not this quiet. Each time he asked her was she okay, she responded, “Everything is fine, babe.” He could not pinpoint what was bothering her but he definitely knew that something was.

  Due to Maurice being on disability, he spent his days watching television, babysitting his son, and occasionally taking walks, trying to rebuild his strength and energy. Being the workingman he had been for years, this type of lifestyle was very hard for him to accept, but during that time he had no other choice. His plans were hopefully to be back working the following month, but his doctor had told him that he would not be completely healed for at least another two to three months.

  When Tyrone and his crew reached Lancaster, he anxiously called Denise for directions to Karen’s last whereabouts.

  “I’m down the street from your apartment, baby girl. How do I get to that bitch’s address?” Tyrone asked.

  His adrenaline was flowing fast, which triggered his mind to picture exactly how he was going to do this. The joint of PCP and forty ounce of Olde English played a major role in his thoughts as well.

  “What took you so long?” Denise asked, playing it off like she was talking to one of her friends.

  She did not want Maurice to hear her conversation, nor did she want him to know what was about to go down. She figured she’d wait a few days after the ass-kicking, and then tell him about it. By that time things would have cooled down. Then she went to her bedroom and closed the door, but little did she know Maurice was standing on the other side eavesdropping.