Moore to Lose

by Julie A. Richman

  Lyle returned from the kitchen with a corkscrew, some wineglasses, plates and knives.

  “Picnic.” Mia smiled.

  “Yeah. Kinda,” he agreed. Lyle poured them both wine and they clinked glasses. “To getting rid of old baggage,” he toasted.

  “Here. Here.” Mia agreed, wholeheartedly.

  Lyle picked up one of the joints and handed it to Mia, flicking the lighter for her. Mia inhaled deeply and coughed out the smoke.

  “When did I become such a lightweight?” She looked displeased with herself. Pointing to the table, “So, which varietal are we smoking?” She handed Lyle back the joint.

  “This is a combination of Hawaiian,” he pointed to some large bright green buds, “with a little bit of the Thai stick and some very finely chopped up hash.”

  One hit and Mia felt as if she were already trashed. This was good shit. “So, I’m thinking this is maybe more than a hobby?”

  Lyle laughed, his fair, freckled skin turning red. “Yeah, it is. You’re not going to narc me out or anything, are you?”

  Mia dragged deeply on the joint and held it in her lungs for as long as she could before blowing out the smoke. Handing the joint to Lyle, she picked up her wine glass and laughed. “Narc you out? You just became my new favorite neighbor,” and they laughed.

  “Well, you’ve been my favorite for a long time,” he smiled at her, handing her back the joint.

  Lyle picked up one of the small brown glass vials and twisted off the black cap. With practiced expertise, he gently tapped on the tipped bottle, a small amount of cocaine flowing to the glass tabletop. With a single-edged razor blade, he began to chop the powder and in sweeping motions broke it up into lines. Picking up a cut-off straw from the table, he offered it to Mia.

  She held up her hand, “No thanks, coke is not my thing. You have to scrape me off the walls, as it is,” and she continued to smoke the joint she was holding.

  Lyle shrugged and bent down, quickly inhaling four lines and wiping at his nose as he finished. He licked his finger and ran it over the spot on the table where the cocaine had been and then rubbed his finger on his gums above his front teeth.

  Mia carefully handed what was left of the joint back to him and instead of putting it in a roach clip, Lyle stubbed it out and opened a small wooden box on the table and extracted a joint. Mia wondered what the difference was between the joints on the table and the ones in the box.

  Observing Mia intently, Lyle lit the joint, “My special secret blend,” he offered.

  Taking the joint from him, Mia took a hit and could feel the “special blend” lighting up every cell in her body. The effect was immediate. A buzzing clarity coursed through her veins, molecules on high alert. She felt caged. Her clothes were constraining. She wanted to pull them off and stalk naked through his apartment like a Mountain Lion seeking its prey. The brown drape valence hanging along the tops of the windows bothered her. She didn’t know why, but it just did. The curtains were brown. She didn’t like that they were brown. It annoyed her. She wanted to rip them down.

  After a few hits, Mia waved him off when he went to hand it back to her. “I’m so trashed. I’m just going to focus on this wine for a little bit,” but figuring out how to pick up her wine glass correctly was a chore. Come on, you can pull it together, keep talking, she told herself. “So tell me about your, umm, operation,” Mia motioned to the drugs on the table and hoped she could follow what he was saying.

  “We deliver.” He grinned, looking like a bad red-headed teenager and making Mia think there was something cute about him in a non-traditional way.

  “So, people call you. You tell them what is on the “menu” and then you deliver?” She wondered if what she was saying made sense. Lyle was nodding, so she guessed it did.

  “I see you’ve done this.” Lyle laughed.

  “Not in a while. But there used to be a place called The Church. Phone number was always changing. I remember them once delivering to me and my friends in a snowstorm.” What the heck did I just say to him, Mia wondered. Maintain, Girl, maintain.

  “No place like New York.” Lyle helped himself to some cheddar.

  Mia looked around, noticing things in her stoned state for the first time. “Your apartment has such a great layout. You have both southern and western exposures.” I think it’s southern and western, she questioned in her head, the word western sounding odd. Western? Is that a word?

  She got up and the movement gave her a head rush. Everything spun for a moment and she waited for all parts of her body to catch up as she walked over to the dining alcove where Lyle’s apartment jutted out. The windows faced west toward the Hudson River. “Wow, you have two great views,” she observed. “The Trade Centers and the Hudson River. Oh God, look how filthy the windows are in my apartment,” the thought amused her that she was listening to her mother coming out of her mouth. Dirty windows? What was she thinking? She giggled at the absurdity. Putting her hands up on the window, she leaned forward, placing her right cheek against the cool, smooth glass. It’s chill was refreshing and she stayed like that for a few moments.

  Lyle came into the alcove and was standing behind her. He was close enough that she could feel the heat from his body. The hairs on the back of her neck were standing up. “Your windows don’t look so bad. I like your windows.”

  It was in that moment that Mia realized why she was Lyle’s favorite neighbor. He reached around the front of her cupping both her breasts, his thumb and forefinger rubbing until her nipples hardened. “Oh crap,” thought Mia, “I’m wasted and he’s touching me from behind — the ultimate turn-on for me. I’m so fucked. Literally and figuratively,” and she giggled again.

  “I’ve loved watching you get fucked. You can’t imagine how many nights I’ve gotten off watching you and your boyfriend. I’ve come with you so many times, Mia.” He was whispering in her ear and Mia couldn’t decide whether this was creepy or hot and since she was so fucked up, and her inhibitions (and standards) significantly lower than usual, she went with hot.

  Mia could feel Lyle’s hard cock pressing into her and she rubbed her ass up and down on it getting him harder. “My business partner, Nick, and I jerk off to you all the time and here you are in my apartment and tonight I’m going to jerk off inside you.”

  Mia turned her head back to him and grabbed him by his hair, pulling his mouth to hers in a crushing kiss that she was controlling. “So, you want to fuck me, huh?”

  “You know I do,” he was panting.

  “Well if you want to fuck me, you need to make me come first.” Mia broke from his arms and sat on the dining room table that was right behind him, the movement giving her another crazy head rush. “Take my pants off,” she ordered and he unzipped her jeans and worked them down her legs, exposing pale pink satin bikini underwear. “Get them off, too,” she demanded. She needed to control this situation with him and even in her dazed state, she knew that the most she could give him was the illusion of control — but never control itself.

  Lyle looked down at Mia’s glistening Brazilian waxed pussy. “Rub my clit and get me hot and then go down on me.” He stood looking at her. “Do you want to fuck me?” He nodded vigorously. “Then do as I say.” He had manipulated the situation and now he was going to play by her rules.

  Spreading the soft lips of her pussy, he ran two fingers up her slit, dipping them in and rubbing the wetness all over her clit. When she began to moan, he dipped his head down and spread her wide with both hands. Making the tip of his tongue pointy, he licked into her as deeply as he could go, pulling out to lick her clit and suck on it until it hardened in his mouth. Letting his teeth graze her firm clit, he sucked it into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it.

  Mia threaded her fingers through his hair and pushed him in deeper into her pussy. “Suck me,” she moaned, as she began to ride his face. Nothing else mattered but getting herself off on his face. Riding it furiously, she pressed it harder into her pussy. There was nothing i
n the entire universe but the nerve endings in her pussy and she had one single goal. One mind-blowing orgasm in this crazy, fucked up, drugged out state. Mia had been stoned many times in her life — but nothing felt like this. Whatever was in that second joint, the secret stash, was something she had never experienced before. This was the word euphoria personified. And right now euphoria existed only one place in the universe — her pussy. “Lick me, I said. If you want to fuck me, you need to eat me until I come and then you can fuck me anyway you want to.” She didn’t care what he did to her at that point, as long as he gave her one mind-blowing, stoned orgasm. After that, she’d just ride the high and go with it because there was no option to get off the ride.

  That was all Lyle needed to hear. He grabbed Mia by the ass, burying his face deep in her pussy and licking, sucking and nipping, spreading her wide open and sucking her clit until her legs clasped around his head and she started to quake.

  “My turn now,” he roared. “Now guys can jerk off to me fucking you.” He pulled Mia off the table and led her back into the living room where he bent her over a chair in front of the window. Foreplay was over. He slapped her ass hard and she moaned. “Spread,” he demanded and she complied. With one swift thrust, his unimpressive cock was buried deeply inside of her.

  She’d been so lost in the sensation of Lyle eating her pussy on the table that neither one of them heard his business partner, Nick, enter the apartment. Bent over the chair, Mia was focused on Lyle’s cock ramming into her from behind. Opening her eyes as she moaned, she felt her body jolt with surprise as she saw handsome gym rat Nick just feet away from her, cock in hand jerking off while he watched his partner fuck her.

  Mia’s eyes locked with Nick’s. A slight smile tugged at the corners of his lips as she watched him. In his hands was by far the biggest cock Mia had ever seen in her life. No longer was she focused on Lyle pounding into her, now her eyes and thoughts were transfixed on Nick’s huge cock as she wondered what it would feel like to fuck him. “I want to fuck you,” she mouthed to him. “Tonight.” His mouth opened, as if to say something, but only a moan emerged as he came. Mia endured the rest of Lyle’s endless pounding.

  At midnight, there was a knock at Mia’s door. She had been stalking around her apartment like a caged animal. Grabbing her deep red satin robe, she wrapped it around herself, tying it loosely. Looking through the peephole, she immediately felt turned-on as she saw Nick standing there. She unlocked the door. He grabbed her by her hair and kissed her roughly, his tongue deep in her mouth. He lifted her so that her legs straddled him and walked down the hall toward her bedroom. Dropping her on the bed, she shrugged out of her robe and let it puddle on the bed. Stepping out of his jeans and boxers, he stood at the edge of the bed and Mia came over on her hands and knees and sucked the head of his cock into her mouth. The girth was so wide she was not able to get much more past the crown into her mouth. Licking and nibbling the head, she stroked him with both hands until he was rock hard.

  Mia took Nick’s hand and pulled him onto the bed, where she straddled and mounted him. She sank as low onto his cock as she possibly could, greedily taking in inch after stretching inch. She wanted to know what it felt like to have as much of this impossibly large cock inside of her. The pleasurable sensation bordered on pain that she wanted more of and she began to ride him furiously, trying to get him deeper with each stroke. Nick reached up and grabbed Mia by the hips and rammed her down on him. She gasped loudly. And he did it again. And she screamed.

  “Take it, Bitch,” and at his words, Mia rammed herself down harder as if it were a challenge.

  “Does he know you’re here?”

  Nick smiled and shook his head, “No.”

  “What would he think?”

  “He’d be pissed. He told me that I wasn’t allowed to touch you unless he was there, and only then for his pleasure, to watch us.”

  “So, he likes watching you fuck other women?” Mia was intrigued as she rode Nick. While she knew that she was still high as a kite, and all of her sensations were magnified, her brain was starting to feel like it was attached to her body again.

  “He does, but not usually his women.”

  Mia stopped moving and looked down at Nick laying beneath her, like a big gorgeous stallion. “I’m not his woman.”

  “You’ve been his fantasy for a long, long time. He’s not going to want to give that up.”

  Mia looked down between her legs and wrapped her fingers around the portion of his cock that was not inside of her, “And I’m not going to want to give this up. Don’t make me,” and with that she squeezed him as tight as she could and began to ride him hard.

  Waking up the next afternoon, Mia had never had a headache so blinding. She wondered with what the hell that second joint that Lyle lit up had been laced. Coke? Heroin? Had she really just fucked two men in one night? In all her pot smoking years, she had never been so uninhibited and out of control. What the hell was in that second joint? (And was Nick’s cock really that big or was that a hallucination?).

  She rolled over and grabbed her cell off of her night table and dialed.

  “Silver? Are you ok?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “What’s going on? Talk to me.”

  Mia pushed her unruly curls from her face. “I think I’m really fucked up, Rob. On some level, I don’t really care what happens to me.”

  “What’s bringing this on, Mia?”

  “I got high with my neighbor last night and I think he probably laced it with something. I ended up having sex with him. His business partner came in, watched us, and came over my apartment later and I fucked him, too.” Mia was now sitting up in the middle of her bed. A frown on her face as she recounted the events of the evening.

  “Shit, Mia. You are definitely acting out. Is it over Sheehan?”

  “I’m sure that’s a part of it on some level. I couldn’t control him having sex with other women. And while I gave him the illusion of control sexually, I never actually handed the control over to him. But I like doing things that are bad for me, Rob. I get off on it and then I feel like shit and I just do some more.”

  “Are you going to forever punish yourself for being raped?” Rob sounded defeated.

  “Is that what you think I’m doing?”

  “There are healthier ways to know that you’re alive and can still feel, Mia. You need to find them or you need to finally find a good therapist.”

  “But Rob, I want to do it again. Well, maybe not both of them in the same room again, but definitely one of them.”

  “Of course you do, Mia. The edge is the only place you currently feel alive.” Rob Ryan was so fucking smart. What Mia didn’t know was that Rob Ryan was scared for his friend. Very scared. He was afraid to think about what more she had to lose before she could start putting the shards of all that had been shattered back together again.

  Hanging up the phone with Rob, Mia thought about her last conversation with Tom and what she told him she needed and wanted. Someone who would love her, treat her right. If she thought she was far from that goal with Tom, she had just self-piloted the Concord right off of the flight path.

  With a groan, Mia pulled the blankets over her aching head. The stark brightness of daylight was too painful.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  “BBC, are you still asleep?” Just listening to Seth’s voice hurt and she groaned at him. “It’s 6 P.M. Are you sick or something?”

  “I just had a really rough night,” she pulled the cover over her head again.

  “I’m afraid to ask.”

  “Suffice it to say it involved two men and a lot of drugs.”

  Seth gasped, “BBC, I am shocked.”

  “Yeah, well by the light of day, I’m kind of shocked, too.”

  “Don’t leave me hanging, Bitch. Did you go to some neighborhood bar and pick up some more boys?” Seth would needle her until he got every last detail. Resistance was futile.

  “No. It was
the guys down the hall.”

  “The creepy one and the hot Mafia looking dude?”

  Mia was picturing Seth’s face, his eyes wide, perched on the edge of his chair. “The very same.”

  “And you fucked them both?” His voice went up an octave.

  “Ugh. Yes.”

  “Together?”

  “No.” Mia sounded appalled and immediately she thought, “I am such a damn hypocrite.”

  “One after the other?”

  “Like hours later.” Mia rolled her eyes at herself, as if waiting hours made it all right. Geesh, she was a mess.

  “Seriously, Mia?” Even Seth was shocked and it took a lot to shock Seth Shapiro.

  “We got high and I think there was more than just pot in the second joint. I’m pretty sure it must’ve been laced with coke, because to say I was wired and uninhibited does not even begin to describe what happened last night.” Mia padded into the bathroom and under the harsh glow of the vanity light she groaned upon seeing the dark circles under her eyes.

  “Well, are you up for coming to Limelight with me and Rory tonight?”

  “I guess so.” Mia continued to stare at her face in the mirror. Except for looking a little burned out, she still looked like the same person.

  “Do you want to meet us there around eleven?”

  “Yeah, ok. I’m going back to bed now.” She was already under the covers.

  She heard the knocking on the door and with a groan got out of bed again and made her way down the hall. Looking through the peephole, she could see Nick in the hall. “I’m not ready for this,” she thought, but opened the door anyway.

  He greeted her with a sexy smile. This man looked dangerous and even if he wasn’t carrying a gun, she knew he was packing some serious heat. She’d met that pistol head on (or at least she thought she had — although she was seriously hoping it was just a drug induced hallucination).

  Pizza box in hand, “Hey, Lyle and I were just about to have pizza. Want to join?”