by Ruthi Kight
I was spending the night at Kitty’s. Only a short distance from her bedroom. The only space in her home that I had never seen. It was like the forbidden land. An area that I had never been privy to, but longed to explore. I hadn’t thought out the idea before I opened my big mouth, but afterwards I was sweating. Could I resist the temptation to invade her space? I wanted nothing more than to climb into her bed and pull her close.
We spent the night watching movies, neither of us doing much talking. While we were both on the couch, there seemed to be a mile wide gap between us. She was obviously shaken up and I didn’t want to push her. She needed me by her side, supporting her, not pushing her for something that she wasn’t ready for. I was totally fine with taking things easy. I knew I would have to prove to her that we had a future, and if that took the rest of my life, I was willing to try.
As the final movie credits rolled across the screen, I noticed her eyes drooping. She was exhausted, that much was obvious. “I think it’s time to call it a night.” I rose from the couch slowly, stretching my body as I stood upright. She gave me a lazy smile before she leaned her head back against the tattered couch cushions.
“You’re probably right,” she said. “Tomorrow is going to be a long day.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll be here with you. If you want me, that is.”
She gave me a duh look and giggled before finally standing up. “Thank you for staying.” She stepped up in front of me and slowly guided her face closer to mine. I was frozen, my body going into shock. She looked like she was going to kiss me. I waited, my lips tingling in anticipation, but they were bypassed at the last moment. I felt her lips make contact with my cheek and I could smell her sweet shampoo.
She pulled back immediately and our eyes locked. Words weren’t needed in that moment. She was scared, nervous maybe, of the path we were headed down. I lifted my hand to her face, cupping her cheek in my hand. She closed her eyes and let some of the tension in her body melt away. I closed the distance between us slowly, being careful not to startle her. Her eyes were smoldering, mirroring the desire I felt.
“Kitty...” I inhaled deeply, my thumb rubbing her delicate skin as we spoke. “Are you sure?”
“No...but I’m tired of being sure.” Her lips were on mine before my brain could register her answer. The intensity of her kiss was insane. I could feel her frustration, her pain, every little secret she had kept hidden, all of them slamming down on me. She was releasing it all, knowing that I would take it all away from her. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to protect her from the world.
When her lips parted, my tongue began its seductive dance. Her mouth was soft and sweet, just like I knew it would be. I had dreamt of this moment many times, but even my dreams couldn’t hold a candle to what I was feeling in that moment. My head was spinning as I struggled to not collapse under her assault. When her teeth nipped at my bottom lip I almost came undone right then. I released a small hiss and pulled back.
Her face was flushed, her lips swollen from our kisses. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before. “Dammit Kitty. Keep that up and I won’t be sleeping down here tonight.” I gave her my best devilish smile, the one I usually reserved for those I was trying to bed. I hadn’t expected her to smile. It was disarming...and so damn sexy.
“Who said you had to sleep down here? I have more than enough room upstairs, if you’d like to...” I tilted my head at her, desperately trying to assess the situation. She was already in pain, probably not thinking too clearly, but how could I say no? How could I say yes? No matter which way I answered, things would change between us.
“What about your mother? You said she would wake up...” She grabbed my hand and pulled it to her lips. The feeling of her soft and supple lips on my hand was more than I could handle. “Shit. I really want to say yes...more than I’ve ever wanted to...but are you sure? We don’t have to-“
She sealed her lips to mine once again. In that moment, I knew I would never be able to tell her no. She owned me, mind, body, and soul. It was pure bliss. Nothing had ever, or would ever, compare to the taste and feel of her lips. Her body, crushed to mine, was torture. I wanted to touch every inch of her. Explore her depths. Adore the woman who had my heart in a vice grip.
She licked my lips before pulling back, a wicked smile on her face. “I’ll race you upstairs.” She took off and I chased after her. I would follow her to the ends of the earth if she asked. I was in serious trouble.
Chapter Fifteen
Katy
I rushed through my bedroom door, acutely aware of Brian running behind me. I was giddy with excitement. I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew it was right. It felt right. For once, I was going to listen to my heart instead of my head. My soul was crying out for him, begging to inhale his essence and make him mine. In that moment, he was mine. Tomorrow might bring feelings of regret, but tonight was mine. For one night...I was free.
He closed the door to my room softly, the click of the lock vibrating in my head. He turned to look at me, a look of pure lust covering his face. As my eyes raked down his body, I found that his face was not the only giveaway. He was sporting a distinctive bulge that would have normally made me blush. This time I could only quiver with excitement. He crossed the room, coming to a stop mere inches from my body. I reached out to touch his chest, but he grabbed my hand, stopping me before I made contact.
“I want to make sure that you’re ready for this. I never expected...I mean...this isn’t technically what I had in mind for tonight.” He was nervous and stammering, which only endeared him to me even more.
“I wouldn’t have invited you if I wasn’t. I’m tired of being scared. I’m tired of hiding. I want this.” I kissed his knuckles before continuing, “I want you.”
With those words, he crushed his body to mine. Our lips met and the electricity was overwhelming. There were sparks, definitely, but it was more than just physical. In that moment, my heart split open. He had put a crack in my wall, and now he was wiggling his way inside. I wanted him there. Completely.
We lay down on the bed, our bodies pressed together. The smell of his body was heady, intoxicating, and all encompassing. I lifted the bottom of his shirt, my fingers seeking out the hard lines of his chest. The sparse hair on his chest tickled the pads of my fingers, begging me to explore more. His hands found mine and together we explored every inch, every muscle, both languid in our discovery of his body.
I wanted to see him; all of him. I pulled my hands free and found the buttons on his shirt. I slowly undid each one, taking my time as I soaked in the view of his body. He was lean, sinewy, and hard. His body was that of a laborer, and for the first time, I found my body shaking with want. I wanted to run my tongue up and down his skin, tasting, devouring him. With the buttons finally undone, I slid his shirt open. Before I could go further, he sat up.
Pulling his shirt over his head, he gave me the full view of his torso. He smirked at me, taking notice of my jaw hanging wide open. He grasped the bottom of my shirt and pulled it up, quickly discarding it on the floor. One moment I’m fully dressed, and the next we’re both shirtless. Shit. My brain was finally starting to catch up and a mild panic was settling in. He must have noticed the look on my face because he leaned back, giving me space.
“You look scared, Kitty. If you’re not ready, I’ll understand.” He was breathing hard and his face was strained. I didn’t want to stop. My body was begging for contact, but my brain was not as receptive.
“I’ve...umm...I’m a...” I couldn’t get it out. It was like glue in the back of my throat.
“Virgin?”
“Yeah...that.”
“I had a feeling...” My eyes snapped up to meet his. He wasn’t upset. In fact, he was smiling.
“How...?” My face was heated and I’m sure my cheeks were aflame by now. I could feel the blood rushing to every inch of my skin.
“I know you. I know who you are. How you are. I know you would never just sleep with someon
e...”
“Until you.” Our gazes were locked, our eyes telling more than words could ever say. It was an intense moment. One that I should have felt awkward about. Instead, I felt a calm settle over my body. We had found a mutual understanding.
We hadn’t moved or spoken in what felt like an eternity, but I noticed right away when his body became tense. His eyes narrowed to slits and his nostrils flared. He stood up suddenly and ran to the door. I was frozen. What had I said? As soon as he threw the door open, I smelled what had caught his attention. Smoke.
I grabbed my shirt from the floor and struggled to put it on. By the time I had it covering my body once more, Brian was already out of the room. I ran down the stairs, barely staying upright as my body fought me with each step. The smell of smoke worsened the closer I got to the kitchen. From across the room, I watched as Brian opened the kitchen door. He jumped back, narrowly escaping the flames licking the door frame.
“Shit!” He spun around, his eyes wild. “Call 911. Now!”
The words weren’t registering. All I could think about was Mom. Was she in there? Would we be able to get her out if she was?
“Katy! Dammit! Snap out of it!”
I ran for the stairs again, in a rush to get my cell phone. I had left it upstairs, like usual. I could hear Brian yelling for my mom as I searched around my room for the phone. In my panic I couldn’t remember where I had left it. I heard a piercing scream just as my eyes settled on the floor where the phone lay. I snatched it up and ran downstairs. My heart was pounding and my ears felt like they were full of cotton. The blood rushing through my body was making me light headed.
I made it down the stairs again, only tripping once, and found Brian crouched down by the closed door. He was sweating and coughing, but my mother was not with him.
“Where is she? Brian! Where is my mom?!” I was crying. My stomach was screaming at me as the smoke filled my nostrils. I fell to the floor, my lungs seizing as I scrambled to regain my footing.
“Katy!” I felt his arms wrap around my shoulders. His clothes reeked of smoke causing me to choke up again. “We have to get out of here!”
“No! I have to find my mom! She’s in there!”
I fought to get out of his grasp, but his strength overpowered me. I could feel him pulling me up. My body had gone limp. The need to crumble was crushing me. My heart was shattering into a million pieces as he dragged my unwilling body out of the house. My eyes were glued to the flames that were now scorching the walls of the living room. The fire was spreading, destroying my past in a gulp of flames.
When I felt the dew seeping into my pants, I was snapped back to reality. We had made it out of the house, but as I searched around the yard, Mom was nowhere to be found. I could hear Brian talking to someone, but I couldn’t concentrate on him. My heart was still stuck in the house. It was being smothered and blackened with each passing second. She wasn’t going to make it out. The pain was intense; unbearable.
When I felt hands grip my shoulders once again, I looked up to find Brian kneeling behind me, his body wrapped around mine. I leaned into him, letting his body support mine. I wanted to let go. Disappear. Maybe if I closed my eyes and let the darkness take me then I could forget what was going on around me.
The sirens were background noise as I watched the house I grew up in go up in flames. The heat pouring from the scorched structure reddened my skin. I could feel the soot and ash slowly cover every exposed inch of my body. I could no longer hang on. I finally allowed the darkness to overtake me. Succumbing to it, I slipped into sleep, my body still nestled in Brian’s arms.
Chapter Sixteen
Brian
I watched as her eyes closed. It was for the best. She didn’t need to watch what was going on. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the tragedy occurring in front of us. The nightmares that were sure to ensue were enough to damage anyone for life. Luckily, she hadn’t been able to get to the kitchen door when the fire first started. If she had, I doubt she would have made it through the night.
When I first opened the door, the smoke was too thick to see through. Moments later it cleared slightly, allowing me a glimpse into the hell that had overtaken her country kitchen. There, on the floor, was a mass of flames that resembled a human body. The blackened mass was no longer recognizable, but my gut instinct told me that it had been her mother. I wanted to keep her from seeing that. I had to keep her away.
There was no reason for her to know that her mother had burned to death. At least, not yet. Eventually she would find out. But for now, I wanted to protect her. As I held her in my arms, I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. Where would she go? How would we tell her father? No matter how distant they had gotten over the years, I was sure that at least a small part of him still loved her. At least, I hoped so.
As the fire department put out the blaze, the bones of the house were finally visible. The fire had engulfed it, swallowing up Katy’s past and present, taking her future right along with it. It may not have been a happy existence for her, but it was her home. It was her mother that had died. I knew how it felt to lose someone that you loved. It was heart wrenching. It was hard to imagine life without them there. Some days it was akin to denial. But this time I wouldn’t run and hide.
This time I would be by her side, holding her hand, helping her deal with putting the pieces back together. She needed me and I needed her. Together, we were a damaged duo that would need to rely heavily on the other to make it.
*****
After answering questions and dealing with the emergency personnel, we were finally able to leave. I didn’t want to wake her up, but I knew we needed to leave. I knew I could take her to my house, but there would be a million questions to answer if I took her there. As I looked around, I was shocked to see Roxie’s truck come screeching to a stop in the grass. I watched as she and Chase jumped down and ran to us.
Roxie fell to her knees in front of Katy and began looking her over, no doubt looking for injuries. “She’s fine. Physically, at least,” I assured her.
“What the hell happened?” she whispered, her eyes never leaving Katy’s face.
I gave her the short version. I couldn’t fill in all the blanks, as I wasn’t sure how it happened to begin with. I knew there was drinking involved because of what Katy had told me, but that was as far as my knowledge went. As I finished telling her what happened, the squeal of ungreased wheels filled our ears. Looking to the front of the house, we all watched as a gurney was wheeled out. On top of it laid a black, zippered bag.
A sob broke out of Roxie’s body as Chase wrapped his arms around her. She sobbed into his chest, her heart breaking for her best friend’s loss. I felt Katy stir and when I looked down, tears were flowing from her now open eyes. I hugged her to my chest as tightly as possible. There was nothing I could do to fix this. No matter how much I wanted to, there was nothing I could do. I hated the out of control feeling coursing through my body. It was too much.
“Brian, can you help her up?” Roxie asked. I nodded. “Help her get in the truck. She’s coming to my house.”
“Good idea.” I nodded again, unable to tear my eyes away from the girl I loved. I helped her up and we all walked to Roxie’s truck. Betty’s truck. Shit. Yet another reminder of how unfair life seemed to be.
Chapter Seventeen
Katy
I opened my eyes to find myself in an unfamiliar bed. Sunlight was pouring in, cascading over the room, and wrapping me in gentle warmth. I fought to get my bearings as I sat up and looked around. When the events of the night before surfaced, I felt my body seize up. I let out an ear piercing scream and wrapped my arms around my body. I was shaking by the time I heard the door open. I looked up to see Roxie running over to me. She sat down beside me and enveloped me in a warm hug.
“Shhh. It’s okay. I’m here.” She rubbed my hair, smoothing it down my back with gentle caresses. The sobs escaping my lips were loud and uncontrollable. I felt every piece of my
soul shatter again.
“She’s gone. Oh my God. She’s gone,” I choked out.
“I’m sorry. So damn sorry.” She pulled me tighter as she broke down with me. My world was shattered and I had no idea where to go from here. How could I make it through this? What would I do now? She may not have been very motherly most of my life, but she was the reason I was alive. She had given me life, taken care of me the best way she could. I couldn’t imagine life without her there.
“I need to call Dad. Where’s my phone?”
“I already called him. He’ll be here within the hour.”
“I should have called him. It should have been me.” I was muttering, my words running together. My brain was on autopilot, making its own decisions. I couldn’t stop the train even if I had wanted to.
“You’ll be able to see him soon.” She pulled back to look at me. “Come on. Let’s get you in the shower. You’re filthy.”
I nodded, barely able to comprehend what I was doing or where I was. I followed her to the bathroom and she helped strip me down. I was left to my own devices afterwards, and as the hot water cascaded down my body, I fell apart again. At least there I could fall apart without pitying eyes watching my every move.
I curled up in a ball and let the water pour over me, washing away the tears as soon as they surfaced. I lost track of time, but when the water turned cold, I knew it was time to get out. I shut the water off and climbed out, wrapping a soft towel around my body. I found a pile of clothes on the sink and I gave a silent thank you for Roxie helping me. As I slipped them on I began to wonder what would happen next.
What would I do now? Where would I live? Dad was sure to run as soon as he could, but where would I go? Could I go with him? I didn’t want to leave, but my options were extremely limited. I threw my hair into a messy ponytail and left the bathroom. I stumbled through the house, searching out Roxie. I could hear talking coming from downstairs.
