Amour Toxique: Books 1-3 Boxed Set (Books 1-3 Series Boxed Set)

by Dori Lavelle

  In our momentary silence, we hear the distant sound of a police siren blaring. Hanna gets up and goes to the window, pushes aside the green printed curtain.

  She gazes out for a moment. “It’s been over an hour. What’s taking Adrian so long?” She allows the curtain to fall back in place.

  “I don’t know.” The knot inside my stomach is tightening with every second as I wonder if Judson had escaped the mansion after all and got to Adrian. I can’t imagine what he’d do to the man that destroyed his plans.

  “Do you know what he went to get from the office?” Hanna sinks into the couch. “I can’t imagine what can be so important.”

  “I—No.” I place a hand on my belly, guilt gnawing at my stomach lining. Damien had asked Adrian to go to the office for me, to get something for me. Perhaps something that will aid in my escape. I can’t possibly admit to Hanna that Adrian went out there because of me, that if something happens to her husband it will be my fault.

  Swallowing my guilt, I do the only thing I can do. I pray for Adrian’s safe return to his wife and life.

  Adrian walks through the door at 3:00 a.m., carrying a vintage leather briefcase. He finds both Hanna and I fast asleep on the couch, exhausted from waiting so long for his return.

  “Where in God’s name were you?” Hanna almost trips on the blanket draped over her legs as she stands and rushes to Adrian. She throws herself into his arms, both relieved and furious. She pulls back and places shaking hands on both sides of his cheeks. “You weren’t answering your phone. Do you have any idea how worried I was?”

  “I should have called. I passed by the police station to ask if they had any new information. If they arrested the son of a bitch. The place was packed and loud. It took ages to get someone to talk to me.”

  “And?” My heart jams into my throat. I unclasp my hands and lift my lethargic body from the couch “Did they get him?”

  Adrian turns his weary face toward me. “I’m afraid they were not very generous with their information. They wouldn’t quit telling me to return in a couple of hours.”

  “Did they at least mention . . . is Damien dead?”

  Adrian nods and lowers his gaze, hiding his pain at the loss of his boss or perhaps avoiding seeing my emotions. “They refused to say. But I read between the lines.”

  He says something more but due to the rush in my ears, the words that reach me are nothing but gibberish. My stomach hurts so much, as though there’s a hand in there wringing my intestines. But allowing myself to crumble now is not on the cards. I can’t let myself go until I’m sure of where I’ll go from here. I bite back tears as I watch Hanna sink into a nearby armchair and bury her head into her hands, crying softly.

  Even if I refuse for it to show, I grieve for the man who has transformed my heart in so many different ways, the man who had done terrible things but also opened the window to a part of his heart that was flooded with light instead of darkness.

  The person who deserved to die was Judson, the man with a stone for a heart, the person who started the engine of the train to hell that we all ended up on. A man with no flicker of light inside his soul. The murderer.

  Adrian lowers himself onto the couch next to me, balancing the briefcase on his lap. He flips it open and gazes into it for a while.

  “What did you have to get that was so urgent?” Hanna asks.

  “A few things to help Ivy get back home.” Adrian looks up at me. “Damien wanted to give this to you before you left for the US.” He pauses. “He had come to his senses in the end and did plan on letting you go … doing the right thing.”

  My breath catches inside my throat at the sight of the crisp dollar bills on one side of the briefcase. While I’m struggling to get my mouth to close, Adrian shifts around the other contents of the briefcase before giving up and handing me the whole thing. It’s heavier than it looks.

  “Everything you need is in there. I’m sorry you had to go through . . . all that.” Adrian stands and goes to stand next to Hanna’s armchair, a hand on top of her head.

  I lift a passport from the case and flip it open. It’s mine. My identity. Damien must have snuck into my dorm room to steal it before kidnapping me.

  I study it in silence. Will I even be able to travel with it seeing that I’m believed to be dead? I guess I’ll just have to get to the US Consulate to see what they say and ask for their help. I need to get back to the States before Judson finds me. Then I have to find a place to hide until I’m one hundred percent convinced that Judson is behind bars again, for good this time. Before that, it would be a terrible idea for me to reveal myself to anyone who knows me or to the press.

  “The money?” I ask, touching a top note with the tip of my finger.

  “It’s to keep you afloat for a while, wherever you decide to go.” Adrian returns to the couch and lifts the notes to reveal a white envelope with the Steel Enterprises logo in one corner. “That’s for you too. A letter from him.”

  Sucking in a breath, I pick up Damien’s last letter to me. I expel the breath through my mouth and open it.

  Ivy my love,

  If you’re reading this, our time together has come to an end. You have left me and I’m to blame. In my attempts to love you, I’ve hurt you in unforgivable ways. The words bleeding onto this paper are not enough to express how sorry I am for being cruel, for breaking your heart with my love for you. Maybe I’m naïve but I dare to hold the hope that one day you will find it in your heart to forgive me for destroying your heart and your life. I wish I could turn back the clock and do everything differently.

  I wish I’d realized sooner that loving you too much is the surest way of losing you. Holding you tight has only suffocated you and pushed you further away. This goodbye is inevitable and it’s my bloody fault. Nothing will ever be able to repair the parts of you I damaged, but I’m hoping that the little I’m offering you will make it easier for you to get back into your life. I hope you find someplace safe and far away from me, where you can rebuild your life and find happiness.

  I hope you get your life back, that you’ll find your laughter again. I’m such a fool for making everyone believe you’re dead, even though you are the most vibrant person I have ever met. I never told you this, but you gave me my life back.

  It may be selfish of me to say this but I have to say it. The truth remains that my love for you is real. It hurts to think I’ll never see your sweet face again, but that’s a punishment I deserve and have to live with.

  Goodbye, Rosebud, forever if that’s your wish.

  D.S.

  A teardrop hits the page as I fold up the letter. Damien is not the man I’d fallen for in Oaklow, the man who had arrested me with his words. The man who wormed his way into my heart is Judson, the devil. Having seen Judson’s true colors, perhaps I should be grateful it was Damien who showed up first. If it had been Judson who had kidnapped me, I’d probably be dead by now, or lost to the point I’m be unable to recognize myself.

  I slide the letter back underneath the cash and close the briefcase, but hold on to my passport. I change my mind and reopen it, removing a handful of cash. Without counting the bills, I press them into Adrian’s hand. If I didn’t need the money to get out of Mexico, I’d have given them everything.

  Adrian pushes the money back into my hand and curls my fingers around it. “This is too much. We can’t take it.”

  Hanna comes to sit on the other side of me. “He’s right. We’re not worthy of your generosity. Not after what we did. We buried our heads in the sand while you endured so much suffering.”

  “You did nothing wrong.” I sigh. “Damien was your boss. You did what you thought was right. And you’re here now. You stepped up for me when it mattered most.” I hand the money to Hanna this time. “Please take it.”

  Hanna nods and takes the money. She squeezes my hand.

  “Will you return to Oaklow?” Adrian shifts in his seat. “I don’t mean to pry. You deserve to live your life how and where
you please. It’s just that I promised Damien I’d make sure you’re safe.”

  “I have no idea. So much has changed. I’m not sure I still have a life where I left it.” I chew a corner of my nail. “Oaklow is the last place I felt at home. I don’t know where else to go.”

  “If Judson escapes, Oaklow would be the first place he looks for you.”

  I suck in a breath before I release it through my nose. The thought of Judson still roaming free is one I do not want to entertain. “How about both of you? What are your plans? You rescued me, Adrian. You could be in as much danger as I am. Judson saw you.”

  “True.” Adrian runs a hand over his mustache. “That’s why we’re moving out of Mexico as well. It holds too many dark memories.”

  Hanna clasps her hands in her lap, over the money I gave her. “We’ve been considering returning to the US for a while now. Now that Damien is . . . dead, there’s nothing keeping us here.”

  “Where will you go?”

  “Have you heard of Misty Cove, Florida? It’s a small beach town I used to spend most of my summers as a child, visiting my grandparents.” Adrian leans back and gazes into space. “They’re long gone now, but their cottage is still there.”

  I close the briefcase and set it on the floor. “I need a place to hide out for a while. Is Misty Cove big enough for one more person?”

  “Absolutely.” Adrian leans forward. “You might even find you like it enough to stay longer than a few weeks. You’re welcome to stay with us until you get back on your feet.”

  Hanna gets to her feet. “That’s a wonderful idea. I think we should leave as soon as possible. We wouldn’t want Judson to find us here.”

  “I agree.” Adrian pulls a pad and paper from a nearby drawer. “In fact, we should take tomorrow’s evening train to Guadalajara. We’re not taking much from this house. We want nothing weighing us down.”

  “I appreciate your help.” Fresh tears fill my eyes. My experience with being on the train to Guadalajara will forever taint me, but knowing I won’t be alone this time makes me feel that much more secure. “Thank you for being here.”

  Hanna waves a dismissive hand. “No need to thank us. Now, let me go make us a fresh pot of coffee. We need to discuss the details and then, Ivy, you should try and rest.”

  66

  A weight is pressing down on me, crushing my ribcage, flattening my lungs so they’re unable to expand enough to let in enough air. I jolt awake, my hands clutching my chest. Even though my heart is thudding, I’m okay. Everything is fine. No one is here but me and my racing heart.

  My gaze sweeps the room where I spent the last dark hours of the morning. The morning sun has replaced the darkness and sunlight is making the curtains glow. With its pink princess wallpaper, the tiny bed, and pink tutu-lampshade, Hanna and Adrian’s guest room looks like it once belonged to a little girl. When they showed me the room last night I asked if they have grandkids but they both shook their heads and said they never had children. I changed the subject. It’s none of my business to dig further.

  I pull myself up in bed and place a hand on my forehead. It comes away with sweat clinging to it, some of which drips down my temples, past my eyelids, and into my eyes. I brush it away. My heart still refuses to relax, as though warning me not to get too comfortable, that danger could still be lurking in the shadows. But the sunflower clock on the wall tells me it’s 6:00 a.m. I’ve been asleep for four hours and Judson has not shown up. Maybe the police arrested him.

  I touch my cheek, the place where Judson had sliced his knife into my skin. The memories flood back as though I flipped a switch. In my mind, Judson’s monster eyes gaze back at me, hatred filling them like molten lava. I remember Damien’s eyes coated with tears and regret, the concern about my safety.

  What if Judson hadn’t shown up? What if I’d returned to the States as planned with no one hindering my departure? Would I have been able to report Damien to the cops? I don’t know whether to be upset or relieved that those decisions have been taken from me by the bullet that killed Damien. Now I have no choice but to live with the memories of the time he kept me locked up, the time he opened his heart to me, and those of his death. I don’t know what they will do with his body but I can’t do a thing about it without putting my life in danger. There’s no way I can return home and pick up where I left off. I have to lay low for a while, to rebuild my life in secret.

  I ease my legs out of bed and stand, my knees creaking. As I move, I feel as though I’ve aged a couple of years not hours. I push back the curtain with one finger. Outside, a small winding path leads to an isolated sandy beach. I gaze beyond the sand to the rolling waves, wishing I could ride the white peaks to my freedom, deep in the sea where no one can find me.

  I away turn from the window and get dressed in a simple beige cotton dress Hanna gave me. I approach the door, it’s still locked from before I slept. I unlock it and walk out. Hanna had said I should sleep in and she’ll knock on the door when it’s time for breakfast, but I’m awake and being alone is not appealing right now. I’m desperate for a shower but the fear of something happening while I’m helpless appeals to me even less. The aroma of fried eggs and sausages meets me on the other side of the door. My stomach responds with a grunt.

  I wish we didn’t have to wait the entire afternoon before leaving town. If only there were more than one train to transport us to safety. My heart will not be able to stop racing until we step off the train in Guadalajara. But right now, breakfast sounds like a great idea.

  I follow the sounds of cutlery clinking, my mouth watering with each step.

  Halfway down the stairs, dizziness washes over me, as though someone has spun me around several times and let me go without support. I put a hand on the railing and take my time going down. The sounds in the kitchen have stopped by the time my foot touches the last step.

  When I open the kitchen door, I’m surprised to find no one there. Although the table is set. Plates of sausages and eggs, and a pitcher of orange juice are in the center of the round table, around a vase with a single white rose inside. I’m so hungry that I’m tempted to sit and eat but it would be disrespectful to Adrian and Hanna. I pull out a chair and lower myself into it. As I wait for them to arrive, I close my eyes and take slow breaths, allowing the low classical music spilling out of a small kitchen radio on the windowsill to wash over me.

  I lift my eyelids again when I hear the sound of the door opening. My stomach drops.

  67

  The devil walks in, clad in a bathrobe I’d seen hanging from a hook behind Adrian and Hanna’s upstairs bathroom.

  Oh shit.

  Damien is gone and Judson has managed not only to run from the police but to catch up with us. We were fools for believing even for a second that the nightmare is over.

  “Morning, sunshine. Isn’t it a beautiful day?” He gives me a smile that would fool anyone into thinking he’s a normal, handsome man. He pulls out a gun and places it on the table between the loaf of bread and the orange juice. “I see you haven’t eaten yet. I’m not much of a cook but I put in the effort to prepare breakfast for you. You must be starving. I am.”

  I can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t even blink. I was well aware that there was a chance Judson could catch up with us. I never expected it to be so soon. Definitely not in time for breakfast in a house that’s not his, not in Adrian’s bathrobe. It would have been more plausible if he had crashed through the door with his gun, threatening to shoot us in cold blood.

  A bubble of fear pushes itself up my throat but I can’t swallow it. My supply of saliva has dried up. Where are Hanna and Adrian? Did he kill them while I slept?

  After studying him for a few painful heartbeats, the shock in my system transforms to adrenaline, bringing me back to life. On the outside, my body resembles a block of ice, frozen and unmoving. On the inside, my mind is spinning out of control, scrambling for solutions, searching for ways of escape. My gaze roams the surface of the table. I do
n’t find what I’m searching for.

  “Looking for a knife to attack me with?” Judson reaches for my plate and spoons scrambled eggs on one side before placing a slice of bread next to them. His lips curl into a sadistic smile as he pushes the food toward me. “Don’t waste your time, sweetheart. I know your thoughts before you think them.” He pours me a glass of orange juice. “You’ll love the eggs, by the way. When I was a kid, Mom made the best scrambled eggs. That was, of course, when she wasn’t too drunk to be a mother.” He takes a sip from my orange juice before placing it next to my plate. “I don’t blame her for wanting to escape reality. Being married to a man who made a business of owning and fucking beautiful woman couldn’t have been easy, even when he showered her with expensive gifts.”

  “What . . . what did you do to them?” I ask when my voice returns. My hands are curled into fists next to me as I await his response. I don’t need to elaborate because, as he said before, he knows my thoughts.

  “You mean Hanna and Adrian? You’ll find out soon enough. First, let’s enjoy a nice breakfast together. Wasn’t that what you always wanted? When we wrote those letters to each other, I read between the lines. I knew you wanted a future with me.” He observes the small kitchen and returns his gaze to me. “You wanted something like this, am I right? A sweet little family with one or two kids running around. You dreamed of us having breakfast together on a Sunday morning. Such a shame that won’t be happening. But we can have this un-rushed moment together.” He piles food onto his own plate. “We can share a meal before it’s time for you to die. I’m sure you understand that I have to kill you.”

  “The way you murdered your own brother.” I can’t help treading on dangerous ground.

  “Hmmm … I love the fire in your eyes. Well, yes.” He shoves a spoonful of eggs into his mouth, chews in silence and swallows. “He was an inconvenience. When something becomes inconvenient to you, you get rid of it, don’t you agree? It was for the best, trust me.”