by M Dauphin
"That's the thing. We don't know her." His head keeps turning in my direction, I can hear the projection of his voice changing and that indicates he's flustered. "It's been like five days, but she showed up with a black eye one day. It could all be a lie, ya know? She could be lying and want to rob Bev or something, but Bev keeps telling me I'm being paranoid. Part of me wants to believe this kid, man, but then part of me wishes it was fake. For her sake. So she didn't have to deal with that shit. I just don't know how to help her without stepping over some boundaries here."
I don't know what to say. I've lived in my bubble and, thankfully, never had to deal with anything like what he's describing. The closest thing to 'bad family' experiences I've had was when Frankie's parents stopped communicating with her because she moved across the country for me. I have no experience with what he's describing.
"I think maybe just having you and Bev trust and believe in her may be good enough, ya know? Maybe that's all she needs. Someone to believe in her and tell her there's more out there than what she's dealing with."
"Yeah," he mumbles. "I'm trying. I just hope Bev's not wrong about her." Taking my hand, he says, "We'll be there in a few minutes."
"Tell me about you, Travis. I know you've been to Paris and you have a cat. I know you used to live in New York. And I know about Bev. That's it. But I feel like there's so much more to know."
Like where are his parents? Why is he here now? Has he ever been in love? Okay, so maybe I don't really want to know the last one…but I kinda do.
"You know a lot about me actually, if you think about it. A man's dick tells a lot about him. I'm really not sure there's much more to tell you about. I feel like my dick should do the talking."
I grin and shake my head. "I'm serious."
"Me too."
"Why are you not answering me? What's there to hide? It's not like you've killed anyone!" I laugh. "I do really like your dick, though."
"Yeah, my dick really likes you too. He's liking you a little too much right now in that low cut shirt." I hear him shift, probably adjusting and laying truth to his claim.
"It's hot. I may not have big ones, but my girls need fresh air too. And sun. They like to feel the sun."
"I'd love for them to come out and greet the sun. Even though it's dusk. If they ever need a little mouth-to-mouth, I'm your guy." I hear the gravel under the tires change when he turns. "We're here. And I'm pretty simple, Chuck. Just Travis. Immature sometimes, I like to joke around, and my dick loves your body. I think we've cleared up everything."
I huff when he gets out of the car and shuts his door. I know that's not all there is to him. I'll get him to open up.
I grab the handle of my door and it swings open before I can push. Gus yips and hops out first and I make sure to grab hold tight of his leash because he seems to like to take off after Travis.
"Chuck," Travis whispers close to my ear. "Listen, I forgot to tell you something about Bev." He's talking quickly and quietly. "She's done some time in the pen for killing someone. Don't look her in the eyes." I hear the stupid chuckle in his voice and shove him.
"I'll try my hardest." I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves.
"I'm just giving you a hard time, Blue." He kisses the corner of my eye and puts his arm around me before yelling, "Bev! I found this vagabond on the side of the road!"
The front door creeks open.
"Oh, Travis, you're a pain. How does this pretty girl deal with you?" Bev's voice is a lot older than I was expecting.
"She's better than that other vagabond," Travis mutters before quietly asking, "She still here?"
"Stop it. Yes she is. Hi, Blue, I'm Trav's BB." Her hands take mine and she squeezes before her arm goes around my shoulders and she leans into my ear. "He's a good boy."
"She's lying, Chuck. I'm a bad, bad boy," Travis says and suddenly pinches my ass.
"Trust me, I know just what type of person he is." I laugh, rolling my eyes and swatting at him. "Thank you for having me over for dinner tonight. Lasagna's my favorite."
"I'm privileged you're here. Travis is embarrassed of me."
"Oh! Horse pucky, BB!" Travis blurts and opens a door while Bev guides me inside. "Don't tell her, but her thug lifestyle really makes me look bad," Travis says close to my ear and I hear Bev snicker. "I told Chuck all about your time in the pen for killing that guy, BB." Travis places my hand on what feels like a chair then crosses the room.
"As long as she knows," Bev mumbles from across the room. "I'm not sure how you deal with him," she then mutters. "Dinner's ready in a minute. Trav, go get Violet, she's in the yard."
I pull the chair out and slowly sit down. Typically I'm more confident of my surroundings, but being in an unknown house I'll be lucky if I walk out of here tonight without having broken anything of Bev's. I wish I could help finish dinner, but I'll leave that to the lady that lives here.
"You want something to drink, Chuck?" Bev asks.
"Sure." I smile. "Water?" That way if I spill it, and I'm very liable to do so today, I'm not leaving stains anywhere.
A minute later, she softly takes my hand and places a glass into it just as the sound of an opening door directs my attention forward.
"Charlie, this is Violet. She's Bev's illegitimate daughter."
"Oh, Travis," Bev sighs.
"Hi, Violet." I smile towards the sound of Travis's voice, my hand tight on my glass still.
"Hey. Awww, cute puppy!"
"That, kid, is not a puppy. It's a…dog," Travis says, forgetting what Gus is.
"He's a Klee Kai." I laugh. "And his name's Gus. You can pet him if you want."
"Sit down, sit down," Bev urges. "Not the pup though. Sorry, Gus."
"Gus, sit," I say, commanding him back to my feet. He whines quickly but follows his command and soon he's lying on my feet under the table. "Sorry, he gets a little excited at times."
"He's sweet," Bev says and I hear chairs and shifting, wondering where Travis is until I feel his hand on my thigh.
Dinner's quiet at first and there seems to be some awkwardness in the air. I'm just not sure if it's me, or Violet. By the way Travis keeps touching me subtly, I'm going to bet it's the teenager that has him uncomfortable.
"So, Charlie, how long have you been blind?" Bev asks.
Suddenly a fork clanks on a plate and Travis blurts, "You're blind!?"
"Ha-ha." I nudge him then clear my throat. "Uh…"
"Bev—" Travis tries to say, but I stop him.
"Ten years."
"Hey, BB, rude. But how'd you know? I swear I didn't tell her, Chuck." He rubs my thigh.
"I don't care. It's not like it's a secret. Any moron could probably tell," I smile and start to laugh.
Bev laughs along with me. "I take it this moron didn't?"
"Hey!" Violet speaks up. "I didn't know you were blind either. I knew there was something though."
"Thank you, Violet," Travis says like it's a victory.
"To be fair, you just met me two minutes ago." I laugh. "He took a week." I can't help but laugh harder.
"Not to welcome you ladies into our relationship problems, but she hid it from me, okay?"
"Relationship problems?" Bev speaks up. "That's what this is? I thought you were only dating?"
"I'm sure you did, Bev. I'm sure you did…" Travis says and she chuckles like she knew we were more before I even did.
"So, Charlie, how'd it happen, honey?"
"Oh my God, BB! Shit! She's going to dump me before I even get through my lasagna!"
"It's fine." I pat his leg. "People are curious, Travis. They're allowed to be." I take a drink and slowly set it down and clear my throat. "I was in college. My best friend and I were at a party. Something happened. There was some type of shooting I guess over drugs or something—"
"Oh my God! You were shot?" Violet blurts and I smirk, looking in her direction.
"No, but don't get mixed up in drugs. It'll ruin your life." I sigh. "I was on the s
tairs trying to get away. The crowd that came through… God, there were so many people. I was pushed and next thing I know I woke up, unable to see. Blunt force trauma to the head, they said. There's still a scar but my hair's all grown back over it."
The entire table is silent and the only thing I can hear is Gus's snores underneath.
"Yay, Debbie Downer. It's fine, really. I'm used to this life by now." I shrug, trying to listen to the mood.
"Where'd you go to college, Charlie?" Travis quietly asks.
"In Ithaca. Uh, Cornell. I was studying to be a doctor, believe it or not. Top of my class." I smile proudly.
"Shit," Violet says.
"Violet, don't talk like that," Bev reprimands.
"Like…that's a life ruiner, dude," she says and I nod slowly.
Travis's chair pushes away from the table. "I don't want to talk about this anymore, okay?" He sounds angry. "Can we change the subject? I'll be back in a minute." I feel him reach down and he takes Gus's leash from my lap then a minute later a door opens.
"Hey, you guys want to hear a joke?" I grin, hoping to douse the tension.
"Sure!" Violet chirps.
"How'd the blind woman drive herself crazy?"
"I don't know, how?" Violet speaks up finally.
"By trying to read a stucco wall." I grin.
"I don't get it," she says and I laugh.
"Brail," Bev explains with a small chuckle. "You know what stucco is? Really, Violet, it's not as funny if she has to explain it." She laughs.
"Ooooh…that's like the bumps you read with? Can you really read that stuff?"
"I never taught myself how. I've always found ways around it. With technology nowadays most things I can just have read out. I know people that can read it though."
The door opens and I hear Gus's collar before Travis's steps.
"Hey, Trav!" Violet blurts. "How'd the blind woman drive herself crazy?"
I start to laugh until Travis belts out, "What the fuck is wrong with you!"
"Travis!" Bev's chair scrapes across the floor.
"What, Bev? This little bitch needs to go!"
"I didn't tell the joke, dickhead!" Violet screams.
"Travis, calm down. I told the joke, she was just excited that she finally understood it and wanted to make you laugh." I stand from my seat, wiping my hands with my napkin. Not sure what I'm doing, but I can't sit at this table right now.
"Goddammit!" His scream echoes around the house.
"Travis!" Bev shouts at him.
"Charlie, we gotta go. Let's go, we gotta go." I hear him moving quickly.
"Travis, what in God's name is the matter with you?" Bev belts out.
"It's fine, Bev. Thank you so much for dinner, it was the best I've ever had and I'm not just blowin' smoke. I'm sorry…for this." Embarrassed at his outburst and feeling like the reason it all happened, I grab my purse, and when Travis's hand touches my elbow I move from the table and follow him through the house. He's pissed but he's still being gentle with me.
The tension in the car on the entire, long drive home isn't like the flirty fun we had on the way here. This is awkward and I just want out of here. Now. By the time we park at my apartment, I make a move to get out of the car immediately but he stops me.
"Hang on," he grunts, getting out of the car and slamming the door. Soon after, my door flies open and Gus goes hopping out. I climb out of the car and follow Gus inside since Travis isn't anywhere near me right now. I don't know if he's walking me up or not. Not until we hit the stairs and he says, "Go on, I'll be right behind."
"I can get back on my own. I don't need you. Gus and I are fine," I huff, not liking his sudden distance. I don't know what I did to make him so mad.
"Charlie, just go upstairs," he huffs right behind me and I start my petulant march. My wandering mind makes me lose track of counting and I almost trip on the last step when I think I have one more to go. Travis curses when his hands go to my hips, steadying me.
"Are you okay?"
"I told you I'm fine," I snap, growing angrier by the second at his attitude change. I whip open the door but before I can storm inside with him on my heels, he grabs my arm.
"Charlie." He clears his throat and I can hear his voice is projected downward like he can't look at me. "I'm not coming in. I gotta get home. I'll call you in a few days."
"Days?" I shriek, dropping Gus's leash so he can run inside. "Days, Travis?" I shove at him then huff, "Fuck you. What? You couldn't take the details of my accident? You're pussing out because you realized having a blind bitch at the family dinner table isn't as fun as you thought it could be?"
"You know what, Charlie? I get it, this is your fucking battle, but not all the guys standing at your side can handle the war like you can! It's not about what's fun and what's not. I'm fucking sparing you. You don't need a dickhead like me at your side."
"You know what the sad truth is, Travis?" I whisper, trying not to let the threatening tears spill over. "The truth is, I do need someone exactly like you on my side. All the time at my side. You're just too blind to see that."
"What the fuck is going on?" Frankie snarls; I didn't even hear her door open. I wipe my slipping tears away but I know it's no use. She can read me like a book. "You," she grits and I hear Travis take a step back. "Get the fuck away from her or so help me God I'll cut your dick off, fry it, then feed it to you."
I sniffle and stand here in silence as the two of them have a silent showdown.
"Why the fuck are you still standing here!"
"Fuck you, Frankie, go back in your house. Charlie can take care of her damn self!"
"She's not going anywhere with you. I fucking knew you were bad news, and I tried to fucking warn her. Goddammit," she huffs. "The haircut, the cocky-ness. Hell, half those tattoos probably came from a stint in the slammer or something. Am I fucking right, Travis? Have you told her everything about your nice, pathetic life in jail?"
"Frankie, stop, you don't know anything about him," I cry. I hate that she hates him so much and I hate that he's been this way today.
"My tattoos aren't from prison, bitch. I'm a tattoo artist," he seethes and I don't know why he's bothering to pacify her with an answer. "I may have done time, but that's got nothing to do with me now," he snarls. "I'll call you, Charlie," he blurts before his steps pound down the stairs and the door rattles as he abruptly opens it.
Frankie lets out a laugh but I see nothing funny about this situation. It feels like a knife was shoved into my chest.
"Come on, Charlie. Let's get you inside." She takes my elbow to help me inside but I push her away.
"I fucking got it," I growl, spinning and walking inside my apartment.
She follows behind me and when I head straight for my bedroom, she's on my heels. I flop down on the bed and let the dam break. I can't believe I let him in and this is what I get. I knew. I've been warned since this whole thing started a mere fucking week ago that he and I wouldn't be good together. I was happy with my life before him, now look at me! I haven't cried over being blind and un-dateable ever!
"He's not worth it, babe," Frankie finally says. Her hand smooths my hair down and pushes it out of my face as Gus jumps up and licks the tears falling from my nose.
"It hurts way too much, Frankie," I manage through the tears. I fucking hate crying.
"I know. I wish I could take it all away."
"Yeah, well you can't. I was the idiot that didn't listen to you." I huff and let another tear slip out. "God, he's such an asshole."
"For fucking real. Fucking jail. You're better than him, Charlie."
"I don't fucking care he went to jail!" I laugh maniacally and get up to pace my room. "He fucking lied to me, Frankie! He lied!"
"You…I mean," she huffs. "I hate to break it to ya, but you lied too, Charlie."
I pause and squeeze my eyes shut. "My omission was something he was too stupid to figure out. This isn't anything I could have seen."
"I can't help bu
t feel like this is my fault," she whispers finally.
"Oh good fuck, Frankie. Get the fuck out if you're starting with this again."
"I mean, if you weren't blind you would have seen him for what he is! A criminal!"
I take a deep breath and clench my fists, hating when she judges people by looks. "Please leave," I whisper. "Just…please. I need some space right now."
"I'm sorry," she says. "I'm right next door when you need me. It'll be fine. He's an ass-twat."
"Go!" I bark.
"Hey," she calls from the hallway. "When'd you call the landlord to get this light out here fixed?"
"What?" I grumble, not sure what she's talking about.
"This light that was hanging out here. Did you call the landlord?"
"No! Frankie, please, just go," I groan, waiting to hear the door close before relaxing.
Her feeling guilty again isn't going to make me feel anything but more rage than I'm currently feeling. We've been over this too much. It's time she understands it's not her fault…it's no one's fault.
The past is the past. There's no use being mad about it because nothing will change the outcome.
Three nights ago I left Charlie in her hallway with tears rolling down her face because I had to get away from her psycho friend. There was so much I wanted to tell Charlie, but I fucking can't. I can't just tell people everything about me! I don't have that privilege anymore.
Bev's tried to get me to talk for the past three days but I really don't have much to say. I think I broke up with the first girl I've actually had real feelings for. It wasn't part of the plan to break up with her, but to be honest, making her my girlfriend wasn't either. I stupidly brought us to a level I shouldn't have because I couldn't stand the thought of someone else stealing her away. Someone else enjoying her body, touching her, looking into her eyes. Then I went and fucked it up anyway. But this fuck up is huge. Colossal. And the thought of looking into Charlie's pretty blue eyes after finding out how she went blind makes me sick.
"Hey, loser," Violet says, still pissed at me for Sunday's dinner. I never apologized. "Your EpiPen fell out of your pocket, fucking dork," she snorts. "My friends laughed so hard when I told them how much of a pussy you are. A tiny bee can kill you. Then…then," she says through hard laughter. "How you couldn't even handle the story about how that girl went blind."
