No Fear

by Nolon King

  He stared at her like he wanted to be angry, then he laughed too, begrudgingly. But then his smile faded and lowered his voice while meeting her eyes. “Are you using?”

  The question, and the accusation inside it, hurt Mal more than if Mike had punched her in the stomach. She could take a hit, but not his utter lack of faith in her here in this moment when she needed him to have her back more than anything else.

  “It’s one thing to ask me when I was on leave, or when you were picking me up from some bar fight, but now? When there’s a girl’s life on the line? Is that what you think of me?”

  Mike stared at her as if trying to decide whether he should apologize or interrogate her further.

  “Fuck this.” She finally broke, turning around to open her SUV door. “Fuck all of this. I’m out.”

  “What are you doing?”

  “He sent me home. I’m on administrative leave ‘until further notice.’”

  “What?”

  “Barry’s wanted me gone for a while now. So really, it’s no surprise.”

  “Damn.” He looked down at his shoes then back up at Mal. “Let me see what I can do.”

  “You can’t do anything, Mike. Just let it go. Maybe I can do more good on my own.”

  “What?”

  “I’ll find a way to track this fucker down. He obviously called me for a reason. I don’t think he’s gonna stop.”

  “And what are you gonna do? Go arrest him on your own?”

  “No, not arrest.” She smiled, got in her truck, slammed the door, then tore out of the parking lot.

  Part of Mal hated herself for using. But another part hated the sheriff even more. She was determined not to lay down and surrender. Mal would find a way to find this fucker.

  And just as she thought of the one person who might know something, her phone rang with an unknown caller. She answered, wondering if the killer somehow got her work number.

  “Hello, is this Detective Mallory Black?” The man sounded formal, maybe a cop.

  Her gut clenched. Surely someone was about to give her more bad news.

  “My name is Ramón Hernandez. I’m calling on behalf of a prisoner here, Jasper Parish. He says he needs to see you.”

  Chapter 26 - Jasper Parish

  After yard time, Jasper lay on his bunk, reading. Jordyn sat on the end, humming a song she was playing on her phone.

  “Crazy Gary is indeed cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs,” she said out of the blue, even though Jasper had forgotten to ask if she’d talked to him. “But he really does see ghosts.”

  “So, the people he’s always talking to are ghosts?”

  “I’m not entirely sure. I think some are. Others might be in his head, or maybe I just can’t see them.”

  “Can you see any?”

  “Not like he does, I don’t think. Only glimpses of shapes here and there. I’m not sure if they see me at all.”

  “Weird. What do you two talk about?”

  “He asks about you.”

  “What’s he want to know?” Jasper asked, putting his book down.

  “What you were in for. What you were like before this.”

  “He know I’m a cop?”

  “I think everyone does.”

  “And? He not like cops?”

  “He seems cool with you.”

  “Anybody else in here he’s talked about?”

  Jordyn shrugged. “Some trivial complaints, mostly about the guards always forcing him to swallow his meds.”

  “Wait, he is on his meds?”

  “Oh, yeah. I’m not sure if he’d see even more without them or what, but he definitely has a few theories. Something about the government trying to control him. Like I said, cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.”

  “Any idea why he always winks at me?”

  “No.” She laughed. “But he winks at me, too.”

  “Like … a pervy wink?”

  “No, Dad. Sheesh, I’m dead. You can stop worrying about guys harassing me.”

  “I’m your dad. I’ll always worry about you.”

  “Right now, I’m more worried about you, sir. Lots of whispering about you right now.”

  “About how I rock these prison garbs?”

  “Hernandez treating you different has made people suspicious.”

  “Do they know what I’m capable of?”

  “They’ve heard the rumors about you being psychic, so maybe they’re putting two and two together. We should be thinking about getting out of here.”

  “Like an escape?”

  “Like maybe call your lawyer, change your plea, say you were insane, get moved somewhere else — anything. If you’re in danger, someone has to move you, right?”

  “Unless the ones I’m in danger from are running things.”

  “Then you need to break out.”

  “I don’t want to break out.”

  “You want to die?”

  “Not particularly, but if that’s what happens, so be it. I did some bad shit, baby. Caused a lot of pain. I ruin people’s lives.”

  “But you tried to do right. You helped people. We helped people.”

  “At first, yeah. But … then it became something else. You were the first to see it and warned me to stop. But I ignored you. And your mom. You tried to talk me out of what I did to Calum and Brianna, but I wouldn’t listen to you.”

  “You did it for me. I understand.”

  “Did I?” Jasper shook his head. “I was consumed by revenge. Maybe it was all for me. I wanted them to hurt as much as I did. Killing them didn’t bring you back, and it never could. All that shit with Spider and the others — that’s on me, and you warned me about that, too. What kind of man would I be to hold others accountable to a justice I’m unwilling to face? What kind of father—”

  “You’re a great father.” Jordyn crawled beside him on the bunk and met his gaze. “Don’t ever question that.”

  “No, I let you down.” Tears welled. “I wasn’t there for you. I never saw how much pain you were in.”

  “Is that what this is about? Are you punishing yourself for what happened to me?”

  “I don’t know.” Jasper hadn’t thought about that. “I’m … I’m just tired of running. Tired of causing pain wherever I go.”

  “You can’t give up, Dad.”

  “Why not? Maybe I’ll be better off dead. I’ll see you and Mom again.”

  “But …”

  “What?”

  “Never mind.”

  “What is it?”

  “I don’t think it works like that.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t see Mom anymore. I did for a while, but now I only see you and other living people.”

  “You never see her at all?”

  “No.” But then a realization turned the corners of her lips down. “Maybe I don’t see her because she’s gone on to Heaven and ... I’m in hell or purgatory because I killed myself?”

  The door buzzed, lock tumblers clicked, then the door opened.

  Jordyn sat up, her eyes on the door, afraid.

  Hernandez entered and shut it behind him. “That detective is here.”

  “Oh?” Jasper said.

  With all they’d been through, Mallory Black was the closest thing he had to a friend these days — even if she didn’t feel that way about him.

  He stood, but Hernandez raised a hand. “Wait. I wanted to show you something first.”

  He reached into his pocket, pulled out a black cloth, unfolded it carefully, then handed the badge inside to Jasper.

  “This Frank’s?”

  Hernandez nodded. He could’ve been a smart ass and said, “you tell me” or something, but he apparently no longer doubted this prisoner’s gift.

  Jasper closed his eyes, opening himself to whatever delivered the visions and memories. He saw Frank Tagliano getting ready for work, kissing his wife, Whitney, and their seven-year-old daughter, Violet, goodbye.

  Then he was at work, staring at the back of a
prison laundry truck where he was helping to unload boxes of contraband smart phones.

  As the vision faded, he saw Frank talking to someone Jasper couldn’t see. The world darkened at the edges, but he could still hear Frank saying he was out, he hadn’t signed up for this.

  The person told Frank opting out wasn’t an option.

  Then Jasper was inside Frank’s point of view, walking through the cafeteria as a fight erupted among some members of White Nation and 904 Mafia.

  He was trying to break it up when he felt the shiv enter and exit his body a dozen times, so lighting fast, he never had a second to see who had done the deed.

  Pain splintered through his back before he snapped out of the memory and into the present.

  Jasper’s expression must have terrified Hernandez.

  “What do you know about boxes of cell phones on the prison laundry truck?”

  Hernandez shook his head.

  “Sounds like your guy was in on something, maybe smuggling contraband in? He wanted out, but they had him killed instead.”

  “Who?”

  “I didn’t see. But for my money, I’d say it’s your own people. Sure you wanna know?”

  “Of course I do. A good man died.”

  Jasper considered saying he wasn’t sure how good a man Frank had been but thought better of it. He knew all too well how easy it was to slip into a world of compromised integrity. “If you want to leave the badge with me, maybe I’ll get something later?”

  “No.” Hernandez snatched it away then gingerly wrapped the badge back in the same black cloth. “Someone finds this in your cell, you’re fucked. We both are.”

  “Fair enough. I’ve got another idea.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I haven’t been able to get near Young Luther without his goon nearby. Given how I stabbed that Nazi fuck, I’m guessing they’re not gonna let me get close enough to touch him. So … if you can get something from his cell, maybe I can find out if he had anything to do with it. He probably knows who ordered the hit, even if it wasn’t him.”

  “I don’t think this is a good idea.” Jordyn shook her head. “You’re both gonna get killed.”

  If Jasper started talking to her in front of Hernandez, it would probably be too much and might undermine anything else he had to say. Probably get him back on the meds.

  Hernandez nodded, still looking shaken, maybe trying to come to terms with his pal being involved in shadier shit than he’d realized. “Let me see what I can do.”

  “Okay,” Jasper said.

  “Let’s go. The detective is waiting.”

  Jasper followed Hernandez, with Jordyn right beside him.

  Chapter 27 - Howard Loomis

  The biggest problem with Howard’s plan was that he couldn’t stay with Cami all day. Three people at work were out with a bug, and he was the back-up. And sure, Howard could’ve called in too, but that wasn’t really an option for him.

  Howard wasn’t the kind of person who called in sick, even on the rare occasion when he fell ill. Despite being morbidly obese, he was otherwise healthy and dependable. He’d used exactly one sick day in all his years on the job. He liked being someone his bosses could count on. That helped him stand out from everyone else. Most of the workforce was clearly only there to collect their check.

  Mother had instilled that lesson in him at a young age. No matter your job or how low your position, a good worker gave it everything he had. If you mopped jizz at a peep show, then you should be the best jizz mopper that ever mopped jizz.

  Not that Mother would’ve approved of that job. Nor would Howard. But if that was the only work he could get, then he would’ve poured his whole heart into it.

  But being a great employee today meant he had to ensure Cami couldn’t go anywhere before he got back to her. He paced the motel, considering just killing her now, but Mister K reminded Howard he had given his word — twenty-four hours.

  It didn’t really matter. He didn’t expect the cops to find her. Nor did he want them to. But Mister K must have had reasons to lay out his rules. And Howard was an obedient servant.

  One more test to show I’m worthy.

  A man who looked like Howard was always having to prove himself. He had to be that much better, work that much harder, demonstrate beyond any possible shadow of a doubt he wasn’t the moronic fatass people assumed he would be.

  Fortunately, Howard came prepared. He approached Cami with the hypodermic needle.

  “I need you to be still.”

  Her body rattled in the chair, eyes full of horror. Her mouth was muffled, and she shook her head violently back and forth.

  He grabbed her chin and peered into her eyes. “I have something to do. This is to make sure you don’t try and escape. Now relax, or I’ll be forced to knock you out in a less desirable way. You understand?”

  Cami nodded, eyes still terrified.

  He tied her arm off then injected her, careful to administer what he believed to be the right amount. He wasn’t experienced with these drugs, but Mister K had told him how much to use.

  As he capped the needle and cleaned his supplies to put them back inside the bag, Cami’s eyes rolled back into her head before her lids finally closed.

  She smiled.

  “See, it wasn’t so terrible. Was it?”

  Howard secured her ropes, grabbed his stuff, then climbed inside the van.

  His wheels rolled over the gravel, grass, and dirt on the way to smooth pavement. He could feel Mister K in back, gathering his strength in the shadows.

  “Soon,” he said.

  “What are we going to do?”

  “You’ll see. Patience, Howard. Patience.”

  Howard was on his way to give someone a quote when he got a phone call from Mother.

  “Howard?” She sounded different, almost frail.

  It was surprising how fast the fear washed over him.

  “Yes, Mother?”

  “Can you come home? I think something’s wrong.”

  “What is it, Mother?”

  “Just come home,” she said, crying.

  “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

  Mother hung up.

  Howard raced home, running stop signs and red lights whenever he could, the entire time his fear like a kaleidoscope showing him all the things that might have gone wrong.

  Did she fall and hurt herself?

  Was she having a heart attack?

  Did she have a stroke or something worse?

  Mister K’s voice crackled over the radio. “Ah, your poor mother. Her time is coming, at last. She’s finally on the way to meet her maker.”

  “No … she’s going to be okay.”

  “Oh, Howard … Why are you always concerned for her when she was so horrible to you?”

  “Because, despite it all, she loves me.”

  Mister K laughed.

  Howard hated when Mister K laughed at him. It was almost even worse than when Mother did it. Almost as bad as when any number of girls had laughed at him over the years.

  “She does love me.”

  “Of course she does, when she remembers. Your mother’s been slipping and you know it. She’s getting dementia.”

  The static gave way to talk radio.

  But Mister K was right. Howard didn’t want to admit anything. His mom was all he ever had. Yes, she could be terrible, or downright terrifying, but Mother only did what she did because she loved him, because she was trying to prepare him for this world’s cruelties while ensuring his place in the next one.

  Funny that Howard had wanted to be free of her so often, yet at the moment she seemed most susceptible to some disease that might take her away, he wasn’t ready to let go.

  He loved his mother. But he also wanted her to be there with him in The End, so she could see how special he was, so she could know Mister K had chosen him.

  Then she would see he truly was worthy and wasn’t some horrible wretched sinner.

 
Howard pulled into the driveway, killed the engine, then ran inside to find Mother sitting in the living room, staring out the window in a daze, as if she couldn’t even see him.

  Is she dead?

  “Mom?” Howard felt more vulnerable than he had in years.

  She turned and eyed him like a stranger. “Howard?”

  “What’s wrong, Mother? Why did you call?”

  Confusion twisted her face, tears welled up in her eyes. “I … I don’t know, Howard.”

  She started to cry. Howard had never seen her do that before.

  Then Mother did something else she’d never done. She went to embrace him.

  He hugged her tight, feeling all the pain he’d ever felt as an ignored child coming forth and melting all at once.

  She does love me.

  I’m so sorry for all the horrible things I’ve thought, for all the times I wished you would just go away.

  I’m so sorry, Mother.

  The two of them hugged each other as they cried.

  Howard prayed she would live long enough to see The End with him.

  Maybe there would be a place for Mother in what was coming next.

  Chapter 28 - Mallory Black

  Mal arrived at the prison just after noon during visiting hours.

  She sat a table in the visiting hall, waiting for Jasper Parish to be brought inside.

  Mal was surprised by how much older he looked than the last time she’d seen him. It had only been six months or so, but he seemed years older, his hair already starting to gray.

  He sat across from her and smiled. “Hello, Detective.”

  “How are you?” She pointed to her haul from the vending machine — a couple of Cokes, a Mountain Dew, some bags of chips, and an assortment of candy. “Help yourself.”

  “Thanks.” He took a Coke and a bag of Doritos. After opening the bag, he selected a chip, took a bite, smiled at the crunch. “They don’t have these in the canteen. Got them generic ones.”

  She popped the tab to one of the Cokes. “So, you wanted to see me?”

  “I saw something, a dead kid on a cross.”

  “What else?” Mal was hoping that Jasper had called because he had some vision that might help her with the case.