Cat Star 9 - Wildcat

by Cheryl Brooks

  For a man whose life had been based on his sexuality, this left him feeling rather lost. He’d spent his time focusing on the sexual needs of women but very little on the other aspects of their lives, Audrey included. She’d had her basic needs, of course, but he’d never talked with her about her life before she came to live at the Palace. He now realized that he knew next to nothing about her. To be sure, he knew her body better than anyone; however, her mind was something he’d never even attempted to penetrate.

  Although it was Onca’s opinion that there were no depths to Audrey’s mind, Jerden had always felt that this was unfair. He’d always assumed Audrey would eventually grow tired of her life at the Palace and go on to do something else.

  She might have done just that if she hadn’t been murdered, and Jerden still wasn’t sure how his attachment to her had occurred. Perhaps it was due to the fact that he not only needed her scent but also enjoyed being able to see her while he was servicing his clients—so much so that he began taking her along with him for every session. Unlike Jerden, Tarq and Onca hadn’t been affected by Audrey’s death—at least, no more than they would have been affected by the death of anyone close to them. At the time of her murder, Tarq had already left the Palace to go off on his own, traveling from planet to planet, leaving pregnant women in his wake like a farmer sowing seeds. If he hadn’t fallen in love with Lucy and married her, he might have been doing it still.

  Jerden sat down on the porch step, letting the dogs fuss over him as much as they liked, pawing him and licking his face. There was no question about a dog’s feelings. They wore them on the surface for anyone to see. In contrast, the depths of the female mind were murky and obscure. Even when they told the truth, they might not be telling all of it.

  These were the sort of ruminations that the horse had put a stop to. The horse had been his salvation. It was clear now. He wouldn’t have been thinking any of this if he’d been riding.

  The question was, would any horse do, or was Sara Shield’s stallion the only one who could save him from himself? There were other horses on this world. Granted, there weren’t many, and they were expensive, but money was something Jerden had in abundance. If he were to buy a different horse, he wouldn’t have to associate with Sara Shield and be reminded of what he had once been. Unfortunately, never having dealt with horses before, he couldn’t be sure. He had a sneaking suspicion that there was something about that stallion in particular.

  Still, it couldn’t hurt to try. Jerden had enough sense left to know that he didn’t want to slip back into the mental torment that had been his constant companion since Audrey’s death, and if a horse was the solution, he would find a way to get one. When he went back the next day to ride, he would ask Sara if she had other horses for sale or knew of any. If not, well, she’d said he could ride that one, and he would. It was better than nothing.

  Gazing out over the lake to the rolling fields beyond, he tried to envision his land as Sara’s well-tended pastures, but though the image was firmly planted in his mind, it was no longer visible. Tough prairie grasses covered the ground, rather than the tender green shoots that horses preferred, and there were no barns, fences, or hay fields. It would take a lot of work to bring about the change, but he would do it. His life had lost purpose. It was up to him to find it again.

  ***

  Danuban was as bullheaded as he was big, black, and beautiful. He’d given Sara trouble every step of the way from the breeding shed to the stud barn. Once in his stall, he’d nearly kicked the walls down, forcing her to turn him out in his paddock. Thus far, he hadn’t jumped the fence, but Sara knew it was only a matter of time before he made the attempt. How Jerden had managed to ride him the way he did was nothing short of amazing—either that or the stallion just plain didn’t like Sara.

  He’d liked Katy very well, though. According to Reutal’s sensitive fingertips, the mare had not only ovulated, she had conceived.

  In the beginning, Sara had been leery of hiring the Norludian, but he’d saved her a small fortune in vet bills, not to mention the trouble involved in palpating the mares—which was a rather antiquated practice anyway—or the price of a portable scanner. She’d also been afraid that he would bother Drania with his constant sexual remarks, but the two of them got along reasonably well. Drania had a room in the yearling barn, while Reutal slept with the broodmares.

  Zatlen was in charge of the stud barn and had a room out there. A genderless Tryosian, he seemed male, but not quite, and could have passed for a human of either gender; the aggressive nature of a human male tempered with some of the more feminine traits. He/she was good with the stallions—not that there had ever been any real trouble with them, until Danuban arrived.

  Sara was already awake, half expecting trouble when Zatlen pounded on her door in the middle of the night to report that Danuban was missing.

  Pulling on her boots and throwing a jacket on over her nightgown, she grabbed a flashlight and followed Zatlen to the stud barn. “You don’t think Jerden took him, do you?”

  Zatlen shook his head. “No, he jumped the fence. I heard him galloping around the paddock and then heard him land. He hit the ground running.” He ran a hand through his shoulder-length brown hair. “Do you want me to go after him?”

  “No, go on back to bed. Whether Jerden had anything to do with it or not, I’d still bet a million credits Danuban went back to him.” Surveying the paddock with her flashlight, she could see the deep hoofprints outside the fence. The ground was soft enough that he’d left clear tracks leading off to the south—straight toward Jerden’s house. “I’ve been around horses a long time, but I’ve never seen one get so attached to anyone before. It’s kinda spooky.”

  Zatlen didn’t argue. “Think he’ll bring him back?”

  Sara sighed. “He did it once. I guess he’ll do it again.” She nodded toward the fence. “I suppose we’ll have to put another rail up all the way around.”

  “Wouldn’t it be easier to just leave him there and have Jerden bring him over when we need him? I mean, there are only three mares left to cover. After that, we won’t need him again for another year.”

  “Unless someone else wants to breed their mares to him.” Sara heaved a weary sigh. “It may come to that eventually, but for now, let’s at least try to keep him here. I didn’t have him imported all the way from Earth for him to live with Jerden.” She snorted a laugh. “It’s like getting a mail-order bride delivered only to have her marry someone else.”

  Zatlen quirked an eyebrow. “A mail-order bride? That sounds pretty barbaric.”

  “Yeah. Tell me about it.”

  There had been plenty of men Sara could have married if she’d wanted a man in her life. There were many immigrants to Terra Minor who advertised for wives or husbands in lieu of a job. She realized that some had simply been unable to find work and were trying to avoid deportation any way they could, for the laws on Terra Minor were very specific. Immigrants had to have money to buy land or start a business, or they had to find gainful employment within a specified length of time. Otherwise, they were deported. The tracking implants inserted in the base of the skull of every immigrant ensured that the Trackers could find them. Second-generation residents and Zetithians were exempt from these laws, but there still weren’t many bums around. Marriage to a current citizen, however, was a free ticket to remain on the planet.

  “Well, good night, then,” Zatlen said. “I’ll get to work on the fence in the morning.”

  Sara nodded and headed back to the house. The crescent moon didn’t offer much in the way of light, but her eyes had adjusted enough to see. She switched off her flashlight as she crossed the stable yard. As she walked, her gaze drifted southward, toward Jerden’s place. Though the house wasn’t visible from where she stood, she could see the mountains rearing up in the distance and knew that at the base of the foothills were a lake and his home. Two days ago, she’d
never given him a thought. Now their paths seemed destined to cross on a regular basis.

  “This will work out somehow,” she muttered as she went inside. “Everything always does.”

  Sara tried to focus on what Bonnie had said about Jerden—how he’d been through hell. She didn’t want to be rude or hateful to him, but how far did she have to go to be nice? He hadn’t seemed very friendly either time she’d seen him. And he’d said, what—two sentences to her? Unlike many men she’d known, Jerden wasn’t one to complicate matters with a lot of chatter, something she had to admit she found refreshing.

  Too bad it wasn’t his normal behavior. Given his previous occupation, Jerden was bound to have been the smooth-talking Don Juan type, and if there was one thing Sara couldn’t stand, it was a man feeding her a line of bull.

  Nate was a prime example. They’d met for the first time at a meeting of the Nimbaza Horse Breeders Association, and the sound of his voice was like fingernails on slate even then. Though she’d done her best to avoid him ever since, he seemed oblivious to her attitude toward him.

  Jerden, on the other hand, hadn’t elicited that immediate, negative response, despite the fact that he had possession of a horse whose arrival she’d been anticipating for nearly a year. After all, it wasn’t as though he’d stolen him. The stallion had chosen Jerden. Admittedly, she might be a little jealous, but she wasn’t annoyed—at least, not yet.

  She was still thanking her lucky stars that she’d found the horse at all. There were plenty of predators on Terra Minor, and though there were few that could outrun a horse, Danuban could have easily been injured to the point that he might have fallen prey to a flock of enocks. The carnivorous ostrichlike birds were a danger to the unwary, though, thankfully, they tended to hunt much smaller prey. Still, they’d been known to attack a full-grown human when cornered. Bonnie and Lynx had captured a large flock, and though they’d made a tidy sum on the eggs they sold, as dangerous as the big birds were, most of the region’s settlers avoided them.

  Sighing, Sara kicked off her boots, stripped off her jacket, and crawled back into bed. No, she wasn’t annoyed with Jerden yet. However, if past history was any indication, she probably would be tomorrow.

  Chapter 4

  Just as he had done on so many other nights, the stallion woke Jerden from his nightmare with a ringing neigh at the window. Jerden had actually gone to bed this time, something he hadn’t even attempted in weeks. Whether he’d been feeling better that evening or not, he should have known it wouldn’t work. Sleep never did. The best he could say was that he hadn’t resorted to drugs or alcohol. No one could accuse him of losing himself in the scents of other women, either. He didn’t overeat, nor did he starve. Vigorous, relentless exercise was the only thing that helped stave off the dreams. That and the stallion.

  Getting up from his bed, he crossed to the window. “Go home. Sara needs you more than I do. I can run the hills until my muscles scream. Then I can sleep. You don’t need to monitor my dreams.”

  Which was what the horse seemed to do. The horse. “I’ve got to ask her what your name is. I’m sick of thinking of you in such an impersonal way. I need to connect, need to feel, need to know. I’m so tired of not knowing anything.”

  As before, the nightmare had sent him sinking back into the abyss, splitting his mind apart. Despite the fact that he was awake, his nerves were still on edge. “Leave me alone and don’t come here again!” he shouted. “I can’t do this! I need something else! I need to be able to fuck again so I can go back to the Palace and live out my life as a fuckin’ man-whore. It’s all I’m good for.”

  No, that isn’t true. He could do plenty of things. Raise horses. Hell, he could raise dogs and cats. He seemed to be well on the way to doing that already. There were tons of them around, just waiting for a bit of animal husbandry. Even this thought didn’t stop the howls of anguish rising from his chest. Cria stood with her back arched and her hair standing on end. The dogs outside were restless and whining.

  “I can’t do this anymore!” he bellowed. “For God’s sake, someone help me!”

  His plea went unheard by anyone who could answer him. In desperation, he stormed out of the house. The stallion was standing by the porch as always, and Jerden swung up onto his back without a thought, his salvation as elusive as ever. Turning his head toward the mountains, he thought to ride up them, but the stallion ignored him this time. The great beast spun on his haunches and leaped forward, racing around the lake and up the hillside in the direction of Sara’s house.

  Jerden made a few feeble attempts to turn him using his seat and legs, but the horse plunged onward through the night. Finally, weaving his fingers through the long mane and melting into the stallion’s back until they became one being, Jerden simply let him run, sweeping across the open field like a wildfire.

  Skirting the fences, they came clattering into Sara’s stable yard and rode right up to the house. His limbs no longer obeying his mind, Jerden slithered from the horse’s back, falling in a nerveless heap on the back porch. Shouts rang out from the barns. He’d managed to awaken just about everyone, including Sara. The door flung open and she stepped out into the darkness.

  Moments later, her hands touched him, and he felt life and fire and purpose flood his being. “Are you all right?”

  Jerden couldn’t answer. He was beyond knowing. Beyond thinking or speaking. Her eyes gleamed brightly in the moonlight and her face was softer than he remembered, as though the moon had washed over her skin, leaving her unearthly and ethereal.

  Reaching up, he touched her cheek. Help me.

  The others gathered around. The Norludian was the first to speak. “What should we do with him?”

  “I’ll take care of him,” the Rutaran volunteered. “He can stay in my room.”

  Sara spoke again, seeming not to have heard the Rutaran’s offer. “Zatlen, you and Drania put Danuban back in his paddock. Reutal, help me get this man inside. I don’t know what his problem is, but I can’t leave him lying on the porch.”

  The sound of Cria’s purring filled his ears as she nuzzled his neck. As always, she had followed him. Cria… Jerden knew he’d said the leopard’s name aloud, or tried to, but the attempt failed, just as it had done when he’d begged for help. No sound, barely a breath issued from his lips. He was dying. Finally. Thank all the gods above. Despair and misery filled him again and he was lost, bereft of hope and of joy.

  When her hand gripped his, he felt lighter. She lifted him so easily, the Norludian must’ve taken hold of his feet to assist her. She wasn’t that strong. Or perhaps she was. He knew nothing about her, except that her touch was feeding his spirit with strength while it sapped his ability to move.

  What an odd contradiction. He couldn’t say it aloud, and even though he felt like laughing, once again, no sound passed his lips. Is this insanity?

  His body swung to and fro as he was carried across the threshold. Light hovered above, seeping past his eyelids to pierce his brain like a blade. It hurt. He needed darkness; something to shroud him from the light.

  Shroud. That was the right word. He was already dying, or insane, needing either restraints or a shroud. Sara probably had all kinds of leather. She could tie him down before he hurt anyone.

  Pain. Great waves of it deluged him with its horror. He hadn’t been injured, but every muscle and joint was on fire with it. Why is there so much pain?

  “Here, on the bed,” Sara said. She wasn’t panting with the effort, nor was she groaning under his weight. She must be very strong. Jerden sank into the cool sheets, feeling partial relief, yet he was still unable to move or open his eyes. A cool hand rested briefly on his forehead. “He’s burning up. I’d better call Vladen and hope he isn’t on the far side of the territory.”

  Another finger touched his arm, igniting a new focus for the agony. “Think he’s got the flu or something?”

 
“No idea,” Sara replied. “Vladen will know if there’s anything going around.”

  Vladen. Jerden remembered the name. He was the regional physician who had pronounced Jerden fit and healthy upon his arrival to Terra Minor. He was an odd sort of fellow, but then, Levitians usually were, and his peculiar sense of humor was something Jerden was in no mood for. Besides, he didn’t need a doctor. He needed a priest or a holy woman to help his spirit cross over to the great beyond.

  Smooth fur brushed against his hand, accompanied by vibrations that penetrated clear to his bones as the contact grew stronger. Cria. She hadn’t left him. Who would care for his animals when he died? That was one concern he didn’t need. Bonnie, perhaps? She was very kind and had all sorts of animals on her farm. He wouldn’t have to tell anyone to do it. She would do it whether he asked her to or not.

  As Jerden’s mind registered that this was no longer a problem, Reutal spoke again. “Do you need me for anything else?”

  “No, go on back to bed for what’s left of the night.” Sara’s sigh conveyed some sort of emotion. Irritation? Resignation? Jerden couldn’t decide which. “Looks like tomorrow is gonna be a very long day.”

  The Norludian’s flipper-like feet made slapping sounds on the smooth floor as he left the house. A door closed. Now, only Cria’s purring was audible. Until she started growling.

  “I’m only going to call the doctor. You can keep an eye on him until I come back.”

  Sara’s tone was much more soothing than it had been a moment ago, but who else was there with her in the house? Then as Cria licked his hand, his fevered brain registered that she had been talking to the big cat. She probably talked to animals as much as he did. We have so much in common. The irony almost made him laugh, except that, as before, his body wouldn’t respond. Helplessly paralyzed, he had no idea why he couldn’t move. He only knew that he must be lying naked on Sara Shield’s bed.