by Nicola Haken
After sliding into the car Lori immediately shifted to face me and plopped a hand on my knee, staring at me nervously as if I was about to detonate. Cutting to the chase I dived straight in and told her all about my mum, Trudy and my nerves over meeting Kara ‘officially’ this afternoon. Then I told her in detail what happened with that jerk Jared at the party and how Blaine and I reconciled the next day – purposely skipping the part where Blaine pushed me away and especially the part where I went back to him later in the day.
Needless to say the conversation involved lots of gasps and pauses on Lori’s part, and plenty of phrases like ‘Jesus’, ‘holy shit’ and at least three times I heard ‘no fucking way’. Even though she didn’t say it directly, I was also pretty sure she thought I was a pushover for getting back together with Blaine after the way he treated me. More so when I told her that Blaine knew the truth about Trudy and kept it from me. I couldn’t blame her for thinking that however – she didn’t know the full extent of his side of the story. Then again, neither did I.
“And seriously what the hell is going on with his face? He looks freakin’ homeless.”
I snorted – actually snorted – back a giggle.
“Hey, I think it’s sexy. Very masculine don’t you think?” I teased.
“Yeah. If you’re into screwing grandpa’s,” she shot back. I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help smiling as I did it.
Lori’s phone beeped just as we’d decided to make our way back inside. Her jaw dropped open when she tapped the screen and started reading.
“What is it?” I asked, feeling comfortable enough with Lori to unleash my inner nosey bitch. She hesitated for a moment, glancing between me and the phone as if contemplating whether to tell me or not.
“It’s from Bonnie. Apparently Jared is being discharged today and Scott Gilbert has just seen Blaine’s dad going into his hospital room.”
Shit. This can’t have been a good thing. Courtesy of Blaine’s fists Jared was recovering in hospital with three cracked ribs and a broken nose after he may or may not have been planning to rape me. I guess I’d never know for sure – thank god. Not only that but Scott Gilbert, who I assumed must have been his friend hence his presence at the hospital, had not too long ago been on the receiving end of Blaine’s temper as well. Again, because of me.
It can’t have been a coincidence that Mitch was now visiting Jared at the hospital. He must have found out who was responsible somehow, and he would most definitely not let such a thing go unpunished. Knots made of barbed wire began to form in my stomach. Blaine was already broken. He had been so close to giving up – on me, on himself… on life. How much more could he take before I lost him for good?
After tapping a reply Lori’s phone beeped again almost instantly.
“She says she’s gonna ask Pete if he knows what’s going on. I’ve got to get to class but I’ll text you if she finds anything out,” Lori said, reading the reply aloud as she read it. I was pretty sure Pete was Bonnie’s boyfriend who also happened to be friends with Scott Gilbert and therefore probably Jared too.
“Thanks,” I said, before giving Lori a thanks-for-listening peck on the cheek and getting out of the car. “Oh and Lori?” I called back as we started walking our separate ways.
“Yeah?”
“Can you not mention any of that to Blaine? About his dad being at the hospital I mean.”
She pursed her eyebrows together and made a face which I interpreted as saying ‘haven’t secrets caused you enough shit already?’
“Sure, I won’t mention it. But to be honest, Maddie if I found out about it then it’s only a matter of time before he does too. It’s probably half way around school already.”
I sighed heavily. She was right of course.
“I just want to tell him myself that’s all. Thanks, Lori.”
She nodded and flashed me a concerned smile before walking off. Did I want to tell Blaine? Or did I want to ignore it and hope it all went away? Yeah, because that could actually happen, right?
When I reached my English classroom my phone buzzed in my pocket. My throat felt like it was trying to seal itself closed as I pulled it out. I was expecting it to be an explanation for Mitch’s bedside visit to Jared. I don’t know if what I read was better or worse than that. The text was from Blaine.
The deed is done. X
“Is that it?” I snapped out loud, causing my classmates to stare at me like I’d gone insane. I was in a room full of people and the bell had just rang so I couldn’t call him but I needed more information than what his pissy text provided.
How did she take it? Does she hate me? X
I was so sure Kara would hate me. She had just discovered she had been lied to her entire life. She would need somebody to blame and that wouldn’t be Trudy – she was her mother and you love your mother unconditionally. Now here I was, some lowly British kid she’d never heard of a few months ago coming along to steal all Trudy’s attention. Although that wasn’t the case of course I was sure that’s how she would see it. So yep, all that coupled with raging prepubescent hormones, she would definitely hate me.
She’s shocked. Confused. Hurt I guess. But she doesn’t blame u. She’s a good kid. She will get thru this. We will ALL get thru this. I love you. X
I exhaled contentedly as I read Blaine’s reply, though I couldn’t be sure if he was telling the truth or just trying to make me feel better. Either way, he did make me feel better. He always did.
Afternoon classes dragged impossibly slowly and by the time the final bell rang I had learned absolutely nothing. I suppose that happens when you spend more time staring out of the window than paying attention to the teacher. When I exited my last classroom of the day one thing was certain in my mind – I would be repeating my senior year.
Blaine was waiting for me by his car smoking a cigarette. I know I shouldn’t find it glamorous and that smoking kills and all that jazz but Jesus Blaine looked hot with a dwindling cigarette perched between his lips. It was that typical ‘bad boy’ image – all rough and smouldering.
As he drove us to my house he filled me in on how his afternoon with Trudy and Kara went. She seemed to take the news a lot better than I did and Blaine said she was even looking forward to meeting me this afternoon. I didn’t know whether he was pacifying me, but as he pulled up outside my house I guess I was soon about to find out.
Trudy’s car was already there when we arrived and my heart hammered against my chest as I made what felt like a six mile walk down the path to my house. Blaine held my hand the whole time and I gripped it so tightly I must surely have hurt him. After hesitating outside the door for a moment I sucked in a deep breath and prized it open. My eyes automatically met Kara’s who was sat on our sofa and at first I didn’t even notice Trudy or my mum who were sitting at the plastic table.
“Hey,” I said to no one in particular. My mum and Trudy stood up at the same time and in less than a second were surrounding me. This whole ‘two mothers’ thing was still weirding me out and I wondered if I’d ever get used to it. Doubtful.
Nobody spoke. The silence was deafening. My two mums smiled sweetly, almost sickeningly at me and Kara continued to gawp at me with a curious look in her eye.
“Well this isn’t awkward,” Blaine said, his delicious voice cutting through the silence like a knife.
“Liar,” Kara muttered with an amused smile.
“Well it’s looking like no one else is going to start so shall I do the honours?” Blaine asked, looking around the room for any objections. I shrugged, my mum looked to the floor, Trudy nodded and Kara still stared at me as if I was some newly discovered species.
“Right, Maddie, this is your little sister Kara. Kara, this is your big sister Maddie. Yes it’s a surprise, yes it’s fucked up, but will you just hug it out already and plan a girly shopping trip together or whatever else it is you chicks do to bond?”
Trudy’s jaw dropped open whilst I simply giggled and Kara threw a cushion at Blain
e. My mum still stared to the floor looking altogether uncomfortable.
“I hate shopping,” was Kara’s response. We had something in common already.
“Me too,” I said. Kara raised an eyebrow at me. “Unless we’re talking about the chocolate aisle at the supermarket. I could shop there all day.” Kara smiled and it seemed pretty genuine. It melted my nerves a little and I took the brave step of joining her on the sofa.
“This is pretty weird huh?” I said to her. There was no point in trying to sugar coat our situation with small talk.
“I think I prefer Blaine’s analogy. This is seriously fu-”
“Kara!” Trudy scolded before she had a chance to finish the expletive which I was sure she probably used on a daily basis while she was with her friends. Kara shrugged off her mum’s reprimand like a typical almost teenager.
“Do you think we’ll ever be like… you know… sister sisters?” Kara asked nervously, twiddling a piece of her chestnut hair around her finger.
“Yeah I think we could be. I mean, I’d like to try… if you would too?”
“Hmm, I guess that could be fun. I mean having a brother is great and all but well, guys just don’t ‘get’ stuff the way we do if you know what I mean?”
I laughed softly. She was really trying. I was really trying. We could do this. We were doing this.
“Totally. And they smell.”
Kara giggled and looked at Blaine who was still hovering by the front door.
“You’ve smelt his kitbag then?” she teased.
“I’d quit now unless you want a piece of this bad boy,” Blaine said, holding up the brown cushion that Kara threw at him earlier.
Looking relieved with how things were panning out my mum and Trudy went into the kitchen to busy themselves with brewing up. Things were a lot more chilled when it was just Blaine, Kara and me, although it didn’t do anything to hamper the overpowering weirdness. I mean here we had a twelve-year-old girl sitting between her brother and sister who also happened to be screwing each other.
Christ, this just gets more fucked up by the second.
Kara and I talked for a little while and at one point it was easy to forget anyone else was with us. We swapped favourite bands – she hadn’t heard of most of mine, favourite chocolate – again she’d never heard of a Malteser (god I missed those) and favourite TV shows. I didn’t really do TV but when she said hers was The Vampire Diaries I agreed in an effort to have something in common. I’d heard Lori bang on about it enough times to keep up with the conversation that followed.
“I’m team Damon all the way,” I said and hoped I’d remembered the vampire’s name right.
“No way! Elena and Stefan belong together. There’s no way you can be my sister!” she beamed and it made me smile. Everything was going so well. Almost too well. I had role-played this meeting over and over in my mind this afternoon and every time there was shouting, screaming and buckets of tears. Something had to go wrong soon, right? It usually did.
“Come on, Kara it’s time for us to leave. Maddie needs to get to work soon,” Trudy said with a gratified smile. Kara sighed and seemed disappointed. It gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, this could all work out just fine.
“Actually, Kara I have a little confession to make,” I said guiltily. But it was all part of my master plan to get her to like me. Her face dropped and I realised after the day of revelations she’d had it probably wasn’t the smartest move.
“Yeah?” she asked nervously.
“I’m not actually all that up on The Vampire Diaries,” I confessed. “I get all my knowledge from my best friend, Lori.”
“Oh,” was all she said.
“But I thought maybe you could bring your DVD’s round some time and you could get me hooked too?”
“Really?” she beamed, her big brown eyes wide and excited.
“I’ll even crack open some Ben & Jerry’s,” I said with a wink.
“Deal! I have all three seasons so we can make a night of it. Maybe I could even sleep over?”
“I’d like that,” I said and meant it. Things were going so well it didn’t seem real. Who’d have thought I’d have enjoyed having a little sister so much? Not me that’s for sure.
I stole a peek at Blaine who was sitting with the widest, most genuine grin on his face. He looked so happy. Maybe even a little proud. I hoped that feeling would last for him, but deep down I knew it would disintegrate the minute he got home. I decided in that moment that I would need to tell him about the rumours surrounding his dad being seen at the hospital. Maybe he would stand a better chance of staying unharmed if he had prior warning? I knew in my heart it would make no difference… but I had to try.
Trudy told Kara it really was time to go and reluctantly she stood up from the sofa. I was completely thrown when she bent down and threw her arms around me and for a second I just sat there like a frozen idiot. She squeezed a little tighter and instinctively my arms wrapped themselves around her.
“I’m really looking forward to getting to know you,” she said as she pulled away. It was hard to believe she was only twelve – well, almost thirteen as she reminded me a few times. She had taken this news so well – better than me. She was sweet, level headed and mature beyond her years.
“Me too,” I said, again because I meant it.
“Trudy can I have a word outside?” Blaine asked as they were about to leave. I furrowed my brow, confused.
“Sure,” Trudy replied. “Kara darling, you wait in here for a minute and I’ll come and get you.”
Kara shrugged and happily flopped back down onto the sofa.
“Don’t worry, they do that a lot lately,” she said nonchalantly as if noticing my curiosity. That only made me worse. Now everything was out in the open what else could they have to discuss so sneakily?
Blaine and Trudy re-emerged a couple of minutes later and Blaine looked decidedly relaxed. Curiosity ate away at my insides but I pushed it to one side as I waved goodbye to my brand new family. Christ that felt strange. I had an actual family. It had always just been me and my mum. We never needed anyone else. Or at least I didn’t think I did… until now.
“So, Trudy suck you off out there or something?” I whispered impishly to Blaine as we sat back on the sofa while my mum made more drinks. She did that a lot when she was nervous.
“What! Eww, lish, that’s just wrong on so many levels.” Blaine shook his head as if trying to shake away the vile image I knew I had just planted in his mind. It made me giggle. “You have a sick mind you know that?”
“I prefer dirty,” I muttered suggestively. He literally squirmed in his seat. That was just the result I was after. “You just came back looking all happy that’s all,” I said, hoping he’d tell me what they talked about without me actually having to ask.
“I asked her to cover for me with my dad so I can take you out tonight,” he said solemnly and I noticed him shiver slightly as he said the word ‘dad’. “I don’t know what she’s gonna say but she’ll take care of it long enough for me to enjoy tonight with you.”
“What does that mean?” I asked as gut-wrenching worry twisted around my stomach. “Long enough for you to enjoy tonight? What will happen tomorrow?”
“Don’t think about it, lish,” he said, shrugging. “I’m not. I won’t let him ruin tonight. I’m looking forward to it so much.”
How in hell could I not think about it? I could see in his eyes a strike was looming whenever he went home. This was getting ridiculous. How many more times would he roll over and take this shit?
“You should go home, Blaine. Don’t push him if you don’t need to.” Tears pricked at the back of my eyes. I didn’t want him to go home tonight. But I didn’t want him to go home to a strike tomorrow even more.
“What I need, Maddie, is you. I’m not giving up tonight; I’ve had it planned for too long. Besides, it’s too late to worry about pushing him now.”
“What do you mean?” I said as I gripped his knee
.
“My dad knows what happened at the party,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “He went to the hospital today and paid Jared’s family off with a shit load of cash to stop them pressing charges against me. Not because he cares if his son is left to rot away in jail of course, but because of the shame that would bring upon him.
“Then after hearing that, Scott’s family jumped on the bandwagon. I’m in it up to my eyeballs, lish. I’m sure he has my punishment all mapped out but I will not let him take tonight away from me too.”
Stunned into silence I let my eyes drop to the floor as stinging hot tears escaped with each blink. Blaine wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into his chest then started stroking my hair with his fingers.
“It’ll all be okay. I’ll be okay. Once I hit eighteen I can find a way out. We’ll be okay, Maddie.”
Would it? Would he? Would we?
How?
Blaine drove me to work for my two-hour shift. It seemed pointless going in for such a short time until I got there and saw the queue backing right up to the door. I didn’t even have time to give Blaine a kiss goodbye before I headed straight into the back room to swap my jacket for my apron.
Don and Michelle were busy manning both tills so I used my initiative and started clearing tables. No sooner had I cleared one another one appeared – loaded with empty cups, crumbs and coffee rings.
“Jesus, it’s like every student and his mother has come out here tonight!” I groaned as I struggled to keep up with the ever-increasing number of used tables.
“It’s the college open night for the fresher’s staring this fall. The college should be closed now and it should all die down pretty sharpish,” Don said, throwing a tea-towel over his shoulder.
He was right. About twenty minutes later the floor started to clear and tables were starting to stay empty after I’d cleaned them. I spent my last forty minutes being a contestant on the All About Lori quiz show. Michelle grilled me endlessly, wanting to know anything and everything I knew about Lori – most of which I’m sure she already knew. I hadn’t known Lori for that much longer than she had after all. It was kind of cute though. She obviously adored Lori. It’s a good job too. I liked Michelle and would hate to have to bitch-slap her for messing with my girl.
