Hearts in Darkness

by Laura Kaye

  And Makenna...Makenna was so very pretty. The hair he already loved was a rich medium red that fell in a mass of loose curls over her shoulders. The way it was parted created a wavy cascade across her forehead and over the edge of her right eye. Her cheeks still bore a flush from their earlier activity, but her skin was otherwise pale and smooth like porcelain, which made her pouty pink lips stand out in contrast. He didn't think she had on any makeup, nor did she need it.

  The longer she looked him over without saying anything, the more Caden tensed. His neck and shoulders stiffened as he forced his muscles to stay still under her intense gaze. He could imagine her mentally compiling all of his oddities: “Huge tribal tattoo covering half his abdomen, big dragon down the arm still trapped between my thighs, multiple facial piercings, big ugly scar on the side of his shaved head...” And that wasn't even all of it. Great, he could almost hear her thinking, what the hell have I been kissing in here?

  He trapped the side of his tongue between his molars and bit down, using the pain to distract himself from his worries. If she didn't say something soon...

  His jaw dropped open when her eyes finally settled on his. For being pale blue, they weren't the slightest bit cool, but instead exuded the same warmth he already associated with her personality. The weight of her gaze pinned him, as if time was halting and he was balancing precariously on the edge of a cliff, waiting to see whether he'd fall off or be caught by her acceptance.

  When her words finally came, Caden couldn't interpret them at first, so different were they from the awkward polite rejection he was expecting.

  Gorgeous. Freaking gorgeous. Hardly. But, Christ, I'll fucking take it.

  Her embarrassment at her outburst released all Caden's tension. He smiled at her until she threw herself at him and literally kissed the silly grin right off his face.

  He caught her in an embrace and wrapped his strong arms around her slender shoulders and held her against him. Their kisses went from urgent and needy to deep and languid. She pulled away to breathe, but he couldn't resist pressing his lips to hers for a few more chaste kisses.

  She sat back from him and looked down. She fidgeted with her hands, which finally worked their way to the scalloped hem of her pink silk blouse and pulled the edges together across her chest.

  Caden cocked his head to one side to figure out what her movements meant. He frowned when she crossed her arms as if to hug herself and worried at her bottom lip with her teeth. “Hey, Mak—"

  Out of nowhere, the elevator began moving downward. Makenna gasped. A flashing light caught Caden's eye. The round L was blinking on the bank of call buttons. He figured the elevator was resetting itself by returning to the ground floor, which a more modern elevator would've done when the power first went out.

  He squeezed Makenna's biceps. “I'm guessing we're gonna have some company when these doors open,” he said, glancing down at her disheveled clothing.

  "Oh, yeah, right,” Makenna mumbled. She braced herself on his shoulders as she stood. He helped her up. Their movements together turned awkward and clumsy and...just...felt all wrong. He frowned and rubbed his hand over his scar when she moved back to “her side” of the elevator and faced the far wall to put herself back together.

  When the elevator came to a hard stop, Makenna glanced nervously at the doors as she smoothed over her hair with her hands, then leaned down to pick up her suit jacket.

  Thump. Thump.

  Makenna squeaked at the unexpected pounding, her hands flying to her chest. She stumbled a little where she'd been trying to step into one of her heels.

  Suspecting, Caden started to say, “It's likely just—"

  "Arlington County EMS,” came a muffled voice. “Anybody in there?"

  Caden answered with two pounds of his fist against the still-sealed crease between the doors. “There are two of us,” he said as he leaned toward the door.

  "Just stay calm, sir. We'll have you out of there in a minute."

  "Roger that."

  Caden looked to Makenna, worried about the noticeable silence that had come between them in the past minutes.

  She stretched a hand forward hesitantly. “Um, sorry, you're...” She pointed at his feet.

  Caden glanced down and saw he was standing on the strap of one of her bags. “Oh, shit, I'm sorry.” He stepped back and leaned down to retrieve it for her at the same time she did.

  They knocked heads. “Ow,” they both groaned.

  As they reeled back from each other, the doors inched apart. An audience of curious onlookers peered in as Makenna and Caden stood there holding their heads and looking awkward and relieved and embarrassed all at the same time.

  Makenna felt like a complete idiot, not just for bumping into Caden, but also because the burning tightness behind her eyes told her tears were about to well up.

  She thought she knew what his bright smile and sexy smirk and those yummy kisses had meant. But then he gave her those chaste little pecks that tasted like good-bye and didn't say anything. She'd told him he was gorgeous—freaking gorgeous, thank you very much, and he was...is, so, yeah, there's that—and he hadn't said...anything.

  She just knew he'd be disappointed in her appearance. Caden was interesting and edgy and a little dark, and oozed a wounded sexiness that made you just want to make his world all better. Makenna could only imagine how conservative, how boring, how plain she must look to him. For God's sake, she wasn't even wearing any makeup today. Well, she had been wearing lip gloss, but that had obviously come off a while ago...

  She took a deep breath as she slipped her toe-pinching heels on. The doors finally eased open. The rush of cooler air felt fantastic against her overheated skin.

  "M.J., are you okay?” Raymond asked, his kind, aging face full of concern.

  She slung her bags over her shoulder as she mustered a smile for the building's evening lobby receptionist/guard. “Yep. Still in one piece, Raymond. Thank you."

  "Well, that's good, good. Come on out of there already.” He reached a wrinkled brown hand out as if she might need his assistance to walk.

  Three firemen stood behind Raymond. Their laughter startled Makenna. She frowned at them, wondering what the hell they could possibly find funny about two people being trapped in an elevator for hours on end.

  "Grayson!” One of them cackled behind his hand. “Don't worry, man, we're here to save you.” The other firemen guffawed.

  Makenna glanced over her shoulder in time to see the scowl on Caden's face.

  "Laugh it up, Kowalski. You're a goddamned comedian.” Caden clasped hands with the guy teasing him. They nudged shoulders in that guy-greeting kind of way.

  Raymond led Makenna away from Caden and his fireman friends and chattered on and on about an electrical transformer failing and something about a secondary underground cable and... Makenna didn't really know what he was talking about because she was trying to listen to Caden's conversation.

  One of the firemen broke away from giving Caden a hard time and walked over to her. “Are you all right, ma'am? Do you need anything?"

  Makenna worked at a faint smile. “No, I'm fine. Just hot and tired. Thank you."

  "Have you had anything to drink since you were in there?"

  His question made Makenna's throat tighten. She was thirsty, now that he mentioned it. She nodded. “I had a bottle of water."

  "Okay. That's good.” He turned to Raymond. “All right, Mr. Jackson. We're all clear, then.” The two men shook hands. “The fire marshal will be by in the morning about these elevators."

  "Yes, sir, I understand. I already let ‘em know."

  The fireman walked around Makenna and returned to the animated conversation between his buddies and Caden.

  "Raymond, will you watch my things? I need to use the restroom."

  "Of course, M.J. You go right on ahead."

  Makenna walked across the lobby, the click of her heels against the marble floor sounded intrusively loud. A tingling sensation at the
back of her neck made her swear Caden was watching her, but there was no way she was going to glance behind her to check.

  She stepped into the bathroom, and the door closed slowly behind her. The mirror drew her eyes immediately. She groaned at how tired and rumpled she looked. Her hair curled in every direction, wrinkles creased her skirt, and her collar lay askew from how she'd just thrown on her jacket. She shook her head and veered into a stall, wondering if Caden would still be out there when she was done or if he'd leave with the firemen he clearly knew. She wasn't sure what she'd dread more: him waiting for her and the awkwardness between them remaining, or him being gone. Her stomach fluttered and clenched in nervousness and hunger.

  Makenna washed and dried her hands and then gathered up the back of her hair in a handheld ponytail. Leaning forward over the sink, she turned the cold water on and drank long relieving gulps right from the faucet.

  Her bathroom visit made her feel a little better. She took a deep breath as she yanked the door open and walked back out into the lobby.

  His friends gone, Caden was leaning against the reception desk talking to Raymond.

  She blew out a deep breath. A wave of utter relief rushed through her body. He hadn't left. He'd waited.

  Then again, what else would a Good Samaritan do?

  He smiled as she walked up to them, though this smile was nothing like the face-transforming one he'd given her after she'd blurted out her opinion of him. This smile was tight and uncertain. She worried over what it meant.

  Ugghhh, she groaned silently. This is so ridiculous! How did we go from the best conversation of my life to...this? Makenna decided her fears must be well founded—he must be worrying about how to let her down after...everything. Her deep sense of disappointment was probably out of proportion, but she couldn't help feeling it. She sagged under the weight of it.

  Caden scrambled to collect her bags for her. She thanked him as she took them one at a time and hoisted them over her shoulder. They said subdued good nights to Raymond and soon found themselves standing out on a wide sidewalk in the little urban enclave of Rosslyn, just across the river from the heart of D.C. The night air was cool, refreshing. At the end of the block, a line of four Dominion Power trucks idled, their yellow lights circling and flashing.

  "Um...” she began, as he said, “Well..."

  They both chuckled.

  Caden cleared his throat. “Where are you parked?"

  "Oh, I take the metro. It's just two blocks that way.” Makenna gestured behind her.

  Caden frowned. “Is that such a good idea?"

  "Oh, yeah. I'll be fine."

  "No, really, Makenna. I don't like the idea of you walking to the metro and waiting in the station alone at this time of night."

  Makenna shrugged, feeling warmed just a little by his concern.

  "Let me take you home. My Jeep's just down the street here."

  "Oh, well, I don't want to—"

  He reached forward and grasped her hand. His touch provided almost as much relief as the water had earlier. “I'm not taking no for an answer. It's not safe for you to be walking around at this hour by yourself. Come on.” He tugged at her gently, still allowing her to make up her mind.

  "Oh...okay. Thanks, Caden. It's not too far."

  "I know.” He threaded his big fingers between her smaller ones. “Not that it would matter if it was."

  She looked up at his profile and smiled. He was a lot taller than she was, and she liked tall men. He glanced down at her and squeezed her hand.

  Caden led her around the corner of her building to a side street. He paused at a shiny black Jeep with no top and opened her door for her.

  "Thanks.” She reached inside and set her bags down on the floor of the passenger seat on top of a baseball glove. Her skirt made it a little difficult to get up and in. She blushed as she hiked it up a bit.

  Caden shut her door and a moment later filled the driver's seat next to her. The Jeep rumbled to life. Makenna braced herself against the door as Caden pulled a U-turn out of the parking space. The breeze picked up tendrils of her hair and made them dance across her face. She quickly gathered the length of it in her hand to keep it from blowing too much.

  "Sorry,” Caden muttered as he turned onto the street fronting her building. “I go without the top whenever I can,” he said in a low voice. “More open.” He shrugged his shoulders.

  As realization of what he was saying hit her, Makenna opened her mouth. But she couldn't find the words to tell him how brave she thought he was. So she just said, “It's okay. The air feels great."

  Soon they were flying up Wilson Boulevard, the string of green lights and mostly empty streets making the trip quicker than usual. Sitting on his right side, Makenna had her first opportunity to really see the full extent of the long crescent-shaped scar that began over Caden's ear and jagged back to the edge of his hairline on his neck. In the flashing streetlights, she could tell the scar tissue didn't grow hair, making the curve of it stand out against the surrounding dark brown.

  Caden must've sensed her gaze, because he glanced over at her and quirked a lopsided smile that made her stomach clench in want and disappointment that their evening was moments from ending.

  A few quick turns later, the Jeep pulled into the circular drive of her condo complex. Makenna pointed out the entrance to the residences. Caden eased into a space adjacent to the lobby door.

  The usually calming sound of the central fountain bubbling was just discernible over the Jeep's idling. Makenna took a tired breath as the weight of the day pressed her back into the comfortable leather seat.

  It was time to say good-bye.

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  Chapter Seven

  Caden hadn't stopped cursing at himself since she'd disappeared into the bathroom. Somehow, he'd fucked things up with Makenna. Now she was acting distant and uncertain and even a little shy around him. And even though he hadn't known her very long, all of these seemed out of character for the Makenna he'd come to know and...really like. His Makenna was warm and open and confident. He had the distinct feeling he'd done something to clip her wings. And he was pissed as hell at himself, especially because he didn't know what to do to fix it.

  And he was running out of time.

  At least she'd agreed to let him drive her home. He spent the drive thinking about what to say to her and how to say it. Her stare didn't help his concentration. There was no avoiding the clear view she'd have of the ugliness of his scar. Plastic surgery when he was fifteen had smoothed out the worst of the tissue and mostly restored a natural hairline at the back of his neck, but it was still big and obvious and often made people first meeting him uncomfortable because it was hard to avoid looking at. It didn't help that the curved, thin line of ruined skin couldn't grow hair, which made it stand out even more. He thought of the damn thing as his first tattoo—it certainly stood out as much as any of his colorful ink.

  He let her have a good look, though. Because he didn't look normal and never would. And though she seemed to accept everything he'd revealed to her so far, he knew he could be a lot to take on board. He wanted her to be sure. So he only smiled over at her. He took out his tension on the gear shift gripped tightly in his right hand.

  There was little he could do to drag out the trip to her condo. Even in mid-day traffic, it was no more than a fifteen-minute ride from Rosslyn to Clarendon. And, of course, when he wouldn't have minded some red lights, every one was green.

  The Jeep idling at the curb, Caden shifted in his seat. “Makenna, I—"

  "Caden—” she started at the same time.

  They both smiled weakly. Caden swallowed a groan. Makenna's hair was windblown around her shoulders and her eyes looked tired, but she was so damn pretty. “You first,” he said. Chicken shit.

  "Thanks for keeping me such good company tonight.” She gave him her first genuine smile.

  Hope filled his chest. “It was my pleasure, Makenna."

  She n
odded and reached down to grasp the straps to her bags in one hand while her other went to the door handle. Caden's jaw clenched. “Okay, then, I guess...good night, then.” She engaged the handle and pushed the door open.

  His stomach rolled. She shifted herself and hopped down onto the sidewalk, then turned to drag her bags behind her. What the fuck, Caden, stop her. Tell her. “I'd like to—"

  She shoved the door shut, drowning out his words, and leaned against the open window. He swore she looked sad but wasn't sure, just didn't know her facial expressions well enough to read them. Yet. Please let there be a “yet."

  "It's okay. I understand."

  Caden gaped, then pressed his lips into a tight line. Understand? Understand what?

  She tapped her hand twice against the door interior. “Thanks for the ride. See ya."

  "Uh, yeah.” He ran his hand roughly over his scar as she turned, slung her bags over her shoulder, and walked across the wide sidewalk toward the brightly lit windowed lobby.

  Uh, yeah? uh, yeah?

  When she was almost to the door, Caden threw the Jeep in first and pressed his foot on the accelerator. He pulled out into the drive. The growing distance from Makenna felt so damn wrong that Caden stopped in the middle of the street and looked back over his shoulder.

  Makenna was standing in the lobby. Watching him.

  He growled. Fuck. This.

  Caden slammed the transmission into reverse. The tires screeched against the pavement as he jolted the vehicle back into the spot. He pulled forward just as gracelessly to straighten out. He wrenched the keys from the transmission and smacked the headlights off and heaved his body against the door, which he slammed shut.

  Stalking around the back of the Jeep, he glared up at Makenna—glaring not so much at her as at his own idiocy for not making things right before the eleventh goddamned hour.

  Her eyes widened. Her lips froze somewhere between a smile and an O. She pushed and held the door open for him.

  And he hoped for all he was worth he was correctly reading the desire on her face.