Sweet Temptation

by Spencer Pearson

  “Oh. Sorry,” Lauren said, looking away. “I don’t know why I assumed...”

  “No. It’s fine, and I’m fine. It’s nothing. Just something that happened over the summer.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah,” Riley said, turning to face Lauren. “You know when something happens, and it starts to affect everything else in your life. This kind of domino effect? That’s all it is. I have to figure out how to move on. But it has nothing to do with this,” she said, motioning between them.

  “Okay. If you’re sure...”

  “Positive.” Riley didn’t know why her emotions had almost gotten the better of her. Maybe she’d been trying to ignore what her parents did for too long, and it had finally bubbled to the surface. She hadn’t even talked to Nicole about it after she’d told her initially, that day they were catching up in the coffee shop. Riley might tell Lauren, just not yet. Not when things might stay casual between them.

  “I’m sorry about the coffee shop,” Lauren said with a sigh. “Yesterday. My brother misses playing poker, and he would talk for hours about it.”

  “I would too, to be honest, but I didn’t want to interrupt. Plus... It would have been awkward, you know, after Friday night.”

  “How do you mean?”

  Riley stared at Lauren. Was she being serious or was she teasing her? “You wouldn’t have found it awkward?” Riley asked.

  Lauren took a drink. “Alright, maybe I would have, but that’s only because my brother knows me too well. He’d probably put two and two together.”

  “Hmm. That’s what I’m afraid of with Nicole.”

  “I know. I feel like a broken record, but I feel like I have to say it. If at any point this is getting to be too much, we can stop.”

  Riley took a deep breath. “Why do I feel like you’re trying to get rid of me?”

  “That’s not it at all. I just don’t want you to feel pressured or... I don’t know.”

  “I am one hundred percent here because I want to be.” She didn’t know how to make it any clearer to Lauren that she didn’t feel intimidated or pressured into this. “Have you...” Riley stopped herself from asking that question. That was way too personal, but a light bulb had just gone off. Maybe there was a reason that Lauren was being so cautious. Riley knew she was with a student before, but what if there were others?

  “Have I what?”

  “Nothing. Nevermind.” Riley took a drink. This was not going well. Everything she wanted to say, she couldn’t. She wanted to tell Lauren that she looked amazing, that she’d been thinking about kissing her all day, but somehow they’d ended up here, having this stilted conversation, and now Riley couldn’t stop herself from imagining that Lauren had a thing for students and that Riley was just this year’s pick. “I should go,” she said, leaving her glass down and pushing herself to her feet.

  “Riley, wait.” Lauren caught her hand as she walked by. “What’s going on?”

  Riley looked down at her. If she didn’t say something, she’d leave, and that could be the end of this. “I like you, Lauren. A lot. Probably too much, and as much as I’d like to be that person, who’s fine with casual flings, I’m not. I’m just not.” Lauren’s hand was still holding hers, her thumb lightly caressing the skin above Riley’s wrist, sending a chill through her entire body.

  “Okay,” Lauren said, a hint of a smile on her lips. “I didn’t know that’s how you felt. Why don’t you sit down?”

  “Is there any point?”

  “Yes,” Lauren said, dropping her hand. “Unless, you want to walk away without saying another word.”

  Riley stood in front of her, not knowing what she wanted. Well, she wanted to climb on top of Lauren, but putting her lust to one side, she didn’t know what to do.

  “It’s up to you,” Lauren said, looking up at her.

  “Okay.” Riley blew out a breath. “You know what’s bothering me? And I know it shouldn’t, but it is... Is this normal for you? Do you... I know you said you were with a student before, but was that it? Was there more than one?”

  “Riley, I can assure you, there was only ever one, and I told myself that it would never happen again. Yet, here we are.” She sighed. “If you want to go, I’m not going to stop you.” Lauren sat forward and Riley took a step back, giving her room to stand up.

  Lauren stood up and reached for her hand, lightly holding on to it, her thumb grazing across the back of Riley’s hand. “This doesn’t need to be that complicated,” Lauren said, meeting her gaze. “I like you too, Riley. I should have said that earlier. I’m not this shady professor who chases after students. I’ve been single for a while now, for different reasons, and I don’t know how much I can offer you, really. I might as well say that up front, but I’m not sleeping around, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  Riley felt a bit lighter, knowing that Lauren might be taking this seriously. “I’m not asking for anything,” Riley said. “This is new. It’s just, you know, strange. I’ve kept secrets for most of my life, and I’m struggling to see myself sneaking around for the next few months. I mean, I know it makes sense, at least while I’m your student, but...” Riley’s lips tugged into a smile. “I’m trying to be sensible. Those are all the things I should be thinking about, you know? Looking out for myself, being responsible, but all I really want to do is kiss you.” Riley darted her eyes away, unable to hold Lauren’s intense stare. She’d said more than enough tonight to scare Lauren away.

  “I don’t know why it has to be one or the other. We can be sensible and responsible and give in to this, can’t we?” Lauren asked, her hand sliding up Riley’s arm, her fingertips leaving a trail of goosebumps across her forearm.

  “This is what happened on Friday. I talked you out of your worries, and now you’re the one who’s making it really hard to leave.”

  “You can still leave,” Lauren said, her voice husky. “No one is stopping you.”

  Riley bit her lip. When Lauren’s voice lowered like that, man did it do something to her. Riley took a step forward, lifting her hand to cup Lauren’s cheek. “I can’t leave without kissing you. I’ve been thinking about it all day.”

  “What a coincidence? I’ve been thinking about kissing you all day,” Lauren said, a smirk on her lips. “Actually, I’ve been thinking about a lot more than kissing you but-”

  Riley tilted her head as she closed the gap between them, pressing her lips against Lauren’s, cutting her off.

  Kissing Lauren was easily one of her favorite things. She loved the way Lauren kissed her, with urgency and a hint of aggression. Lauren’s hands roamed across her body, over the back of her jeans, giving her ass a squeeze. Riley moaned into the kiss as Lauren kneaded her ass, her thigh pressing against Riley’s center through her jeans.

  “Fuck,” Riley groaned, breaking the kiss to catch her breath.

  “Bedroom?”

  “Please.” Riley let Lauren lead her down the hall on wobbling legs, her pulse hammering in her ears. She needed Lauren, and she wasn’t sure if she’d ever get enough of her.

  16

  Lauren looked up from the paper she was grading when there was a knock on her office door. “Come in.”

  “Hi,” Brian said, poking his head into the room. “Is now a bad time?”

  “No. Not at all.” She leaned back in her chair, motioning for him to come in. “Have a seat.”

  Lauren tossed the paper she was reading onto the stack of all the unread assignments she still had to get through today if she wanted any chance of getting to the casino tonight.

  “So,” he said as he sat down in the chair opposite her desk. “How are you?”

  Lauren knew that tone. He was after something. “I’m good. You?”

  “Just great.” Brian combed his hand through his thick hair. “I’m just checking in. I haven’t spoken to you since you uh... Since you told me about Riley.”

  “Yeah. Everything’s good.” Lauren managed to keep the smile off her face
. Since that night that Riley nearly walked out on her, they’d fallen into an easy routine, and the last two weeks had proved it could work.

  They were keeping their professional and personal lives separate without a problem. They rarely sent texts, deciding that it would look better if they kept contact to a minimum and just met up every Friday night before the poker tournament and then again Saturday or Sunday depending on their schedules. They didn’t see each other outside of college during the week, and there were no after hours meetings in her office as much as she would have loved to have Riley up against this desk.

  “Lauren?”

  “Hmmm.”

  “I said are you sure about that?”

  Lauren’s eyes narrowed. “About what?”

  “That everything’s okay between you two, because I was on my way over to my office, and I saw Riley and Nicole sitting on a bench outside the library. Riley was really upset. Nicole had her arms around her. I didn’t want to stare. I was just walking by, but I know she was crying.”

  Lauren swallowed the lump that had suddenly appeared in her throat. “Uh, well. I mean, I haven’t seen her since Sunday, but yeah, things were fine.”

  “You haven’t done or said anything?” Brian asked.

  “Why would you assume it was my fault?”

  Brian shrugged. “No reason. I just hope she’s alright. So, you don’t... Talk?”

  Lauren reached for her bottle of water. “We talk.” She knew that had come out defensively, but the truth didn’t sound great, and she wasn’t going to get into the ins and outs of her relationship or non-relationship with her brother. The only reason he knew about Deirdre was because she’d gotten herself backed into a corner, and she didn’t know how to get out. This was different. In so many ways.

  “Okay,” Brian said, standing up. “I’ll let you get back to work. You still okay for dinner on Sunday?”

  “Yeah.” Lauren gave him a smile. “Of course.”

  “Alright. See you then.”

  Lauren picked up her phone when Brian had closed the door behind him. She started typing a text to Riley, but stopped. How would she explain the sudden interest? Lauren wasn’t supposed to know that something was wrong. She’d see Riley tonight, and if she didn’t want to come over before they left for the tournament, Lauren would see her there or share a taxi over with her. She’d find out then if something was wrong.

  She put down her phone and picked up the paper she was halfway through marking, but her mind kept drifting. What could have happened? She would have heard if something had happened on campus, if a student had been in an accident or something, but as far as she knew, nothing had happened.

  Lauren should have been able to text Riley. They put that rule in place, that they wouldn’t text, to protect them, but right now Lauren wanted to break it. Her phone buzzed just as she was about to pick it up again. Her heart sped up when she saw Riley’s name.

  Hi. I won’t be able to make it tonight. Something’s come up. See you next week.

  Lauren stared at the message, trying to make sense of it. What had come up? See you next week? So, she wasn’t going to see Riley Saturday or Sunday either? Lauren put her phone down. She’d wait until she got home to reply. She had to figure out how she was going to respond. Would she try and find out more or just let it go?

  They were in this weird place where they’d admitted that this was more than a casual fling, but they also weren’t ready to officially date. Maybe that had more to do with Lauren being her professor than anything else. She didn’t know, because they never talked about it. This was a new, fun thing, and she wasn’t ready to question it, because that could put an end to it.

  She liked being around Riley, and Lauren loved that she played poker and got as much of an adrenaline rush off winning tournaments as she did. Lauren had a few exes over the years who thought playing poker was a complete waste of time. It was nice being with someone who appreciated the strategy that went into it, who understood that it wasn’t just gambling.

  Lauren played with the arm of her glasses. She hadn’t taken a word in. She’d have to bring these papers home with her, and now that she knew Riley wasn’t available this weekend, Lauren had a lot more time to get it done. She stood up and slid the stack of papers into her briefcase. She put on her gray leather jacket and gathered up her phone and glasses before she locked her office door behind her.

  As she made her way across campus and towards the parking lot, a pang of loneliness hit her when she thought about spending the weekend alone. Lauren had her usual Sunday afternoon planned with her brother and his family, but she’d gotten used to seeing Riley every Friday and most Saturdays or Sunday evenings. And when Lauren did see her again next week, it would be at college, where they’d have to pretend that there was nothing going on between them.

  Lauren shook those thoughts away. She wasn’t that invested in this. She shouldn’t feel as uneasy as she did right now, queasy and light-headed, wondering what was going on in Riley’s life that had her so upset. Lauren shouldn’t have been thinking ahead, about what would happen if this did get serious, about where Riley would be once she graduated.

  Lauren got in her car and turned on the radio, determined to switch off her brain. They’d both agreed that this was about them giving into whatever crazy chemistry they had, and that meant not thinking ahead or worrying about the future.

  17

  Riley barely remembered getting the bus home. She’d just slumped against Nicole’s shoulder and tried to keep it together. Riley still felt like she was in the middle of an awful dream and that she’d wake up any second now, but it was real.

  When her father’s name came up on her phone, Riley hesitated, wondering why he’d be calling her, and she debated letting it go to voicemail, but in the end she’d picked it up. Maybe he’d changed his mind. Maybe her parents had realized how ridiculous this whole thing was. Who throws their kid out of their house because they’re gay? But that wasn’t why her father was calling her.

  Riley had been between classes, walking with Nicole when she’d gotten the call, and she’d sunk onto the nearest bench when her father told her that her mother had died that morning. He’d just said it without bracing her for it. She’d had a heart attack, apparently.

  Nicole hadn’t left her side since, helping her get back home and leading her over to the couch.

  “What would help, Riley? Alcohol? A coffee? Water?” Nicole asked, taking Riley’s messenger bag from her.

  Riley blew out a breath and ran her hand over her face. “I don’t know. It’s a bit early for alcohol, but I’m sure I’ll try that later. Maybe just water. Thanks, Nic. I’m sorry I can’t even think right now.”

  “Shhh. No apologies.”

  Riley should have been hungry. She’d studied instead of getting lunch, and she hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast, but right now, food was the last thing on her mind. Her stomach churned with nausea, and her eyes stung.

  Her initial reaction had been to cry. The tears were there before she even processed what her father had said, and the tears had kept flowing while she rode the bus home, but now, she just felt numb.

  Riley thought she might throw up at any moment. Why was she grieving over someone who’d basically disowned her? Was she supposed to go to the funeral? Her father hadn’t asked her or said anything about the arrangements. He hadn’t asked her to stay away either.

  Nicole sat down beside her and handed her a bottle of water.

  “Thanks,” Riley said, untwisting the cap and taking a few sips. She felt too sick to chance any more than that.

  “I assume you’re not playing poker tonight.”

  Riley shook her head. “No. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate.” At the mention of poker, Riley couldn’t help thinking about Lauren. She’d seen her just a few hours ago, at her auditing class, but that was before Riley’s father had called. Lauren couldn’t see her like this. Riley would have to explain everything, that her parents had kicked her o
ut, cut her off, and she just didn’t want to go there. It was embarrassing, and as much as Riley liked Lauren, she was too afraid to share personal stuff like that. What if it scared Lauren away?

  “Can I do anything?” Nicole asked, her arm around Riley’s shoulder. “I know that’s probably a silly question, but I hate seeing you like this.”

  “No.” Riley sighed. “No. You’ve been great. I don’t know how I would have gotten back here if you hadn’t been with me. I’d probably still be curled up on that bench crying.”

  “I feel bad. I have work in an hour. I don’t want to leave you.”

  “I’m fine. Really. I’m just going to put on my pajamas and watch a movie or something.” She had to stay busy, or she’d drive herself crazy wondering what she was supposed to do. She’d have to think about it at some point, but right now, Riley just wanted to switch off.

  “Okay, but if you need to talk, just text me. They’re usually pretty flexible about when I go on break.”

  “Thanks.” Riley managed a smile. “I’ll be okay though. I’ll probably just be in shock for the next while. Maybe, it’ll hit me tomorrow.”

  Nicole pulled her into a hug, and Riley wrapped her arms around her, knowing she was lucky to have a friend like Nicole.

  Riley mixed herself another gin and tonic. She’d stopped counting after the second one, deciding that she rarely drank excessively. She’d pay for it tomorrow, but chances were she was going to feel sick anyway.

  Riley had gotten changed into navy and white flannel pajama pants and a long sleeved navy top about three hours ago and wandered into the kitchen to make her first drink. She’d watched some comedy that Netflix had recommended, but Riley didn’t laugh once. It had provided the distraction she’d wanted, but she didn’t feel any better.

  Riley had sent Lauren a text before the movie started, letting her know that she wasn’t going to the tournament tonight and that she wouldn’t see her until next week. She just couldn’t face her right now. She’d probably start crying, and Lauren wasn’t her girlfriend. They didn’t have that kind of relationship. They were one tiny step above friends with benefits.