Crazy Ex-Ghoulfriend

by Angela Roquet

  As we settled in, a slow song crooned out over the speakers, and Wayne pulled Matilda out onto the dance floor. They looked happy, even though they had both decided that this would be their last night together. Matilda was handling her official parting with far more grace than I would have been able to muster.

  Eddie rubbed his shoulder against mine and cleared his throat. “You wanna dance?”

  “I don’t know.” I grinned. “I was thinking maybe we could act bored out of our minds, stick our noses up in the air, and say we have better things to do.”

  Eddie laughed, and I took his hand. We found an opening and squeezed in between our masked classmates. We fumbled around, accidently bumping into other dancers and stepping on each other’s feet. We laughed and tangled our arms together. It was blissfully normal, and it was perfect.

  It seemed so very obvious now. It felt like I had known all along, but I had been blinded by my own ambition. You couldn’t force love by removing the competition. If Eddie hadn’t raised Matilda from the dead, Wayne and I might have very well been at prom together. But it wouldn’t be true love. I would still be his second choice. I wasn’t Eddie’s second choice, and seeing his glowing smile and shining eyes beneath his mask, I knew now that he wasn’t my second choice either. Wayne would always be my childhood sweetheart, but Eddie held my heart in a way that no average boy ever could.

  The big finale of the evening came when Danielle took the microphone and announced that it was time to crown the king and queen. No one seemed too surprised when she called up Denise and Mitch, but their victory was short-lived. Amanda and another masked cheerleader joined Danielle, once Denise and Mitch finished their royal slow dance. They set up a small table with a framed picture of Matilda from her junior year. Danielle waited for everyone to quiet down again before she produced another queen crown.

  “We all miss Matilda,” she began. “And I think we all know that if she was still here with us, she would have made a good run for the crown. So in honor of our fallen classmate, we’ll be naming her as an honorary prom queen in our senior yearbook.”

  Everyone clapped, and then Danielle opened the mic for students to come forward and share their fond memories of Matilda. It seemed almost poetic that she was able to witness the sappy display, but when I glanced over the crowd, she was nowhere to be found.

  I spotted Wayne over by the punch and slipped away from Eddie to go talk to him. “Where’s Matilda,” I asked. “She’s missing her very own class memorial.”

  Wayne gave me a stricken look. “She went outside. She said that she needed some air, and she wanted to be alone for a minute.”

  “Which door?” I set down my drink and followed his finger to the back exit of the cafeteria.

  Matilda was sitting on the sidewalk outside with her head in her hands. I knelt down beside her and pulled off my mask. “What are you doing out here? It’s your big night.”

  “Janie,” she groaned. “Those people in there hate me. This is a joke,” she said, just as Denise claimed the mic and began gushing about how much she loved and missed Matilda.

  “Wayne doesn’t hate you. I don’t hate you,” I added.

  “Yes, you do,” she laughed bitterly. “And you should. God, I made your life hell, before and after I died. You probably hate me more than anyone.”

  “That’s not true.” I folded my dress under my legs and sat down beside her. “I mean, you were a royal bitch. I think we can agree on that. But you taught me a lot in the few short months we spent together. I can’t say it was all roses, having a zombie fashionista hijack my wardrobe, but you taught me things. Not just about clothes and makeup and manipulating the general populous, but about myself.”

  She laughed. “Yeah? You know, for the last few months you’ve really been my only friend. You know me better than the Ds ever did, and you can’t even get up there to share a fond memory, because you’d be committed if you did.”

  I shrugged. “I don’t need to share my memories with all those people. I have them, and that’s good enough for me.”

  Matilda gave me a weak smile. “This is really it, you know? I’m going to be gone for good tonight. You’ll finally have your chance with Wayne.”

  “I don’t need a chance with Wayne. I have Eddie.” I grinned at her surprised face. “Let’s go back inside. What is it that cheesy poster in Nader’s office says?”

  Matilda laughed. “Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re here we might as well dance.”

  Goodbyes

  Chapter 23

  It was a perfectly creepy night to be in a graveyard. Eddie squeezed my hand, and my heart skipped, though not quite as many beats as when the owls began to hoot out their greetings. Late March was still a little chilly, so I pulled my shawl around my shoulders and snuggled into Eddie’s embrace.

  We hung back while Wayne and Matilda took a walk through the tombstones like they were young lovers strolling through the park, and not a zombie and her sullen love about to say goodbye forever. The dim lamp lights threw long shadows over the graves, and every little movement was amplified tenfold. I tried to tell myself to suck it up. There was nothing out here that I should fear, especially after having a zombie live in my closet. It was no use.

  Chloe had gone with Benny to get ice cream for us all. We had convinced Benny to drop us off a block from the cemetery, insisting that Honey’s mom was coming to pick her up there shortly, and we just wanted to wait with her.

  Matilda’s grave was sunken in. I was surprised that no one had noticed it. Of course, her tombstone was off along an outer edge and down a hill. We found a couple abandoned shovels near an open grave that had been recently prepped for an upcoming funeral. Eddie and Wayne stripped out of their suit jackets and rolled back their sleeves before scooping out enough soil so that Matilda could crawl back inside her coffin. A moment that should have brought me supreme joy left me stale and disheartened.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked suddenly. “You could take turns in mine and Wayne’s closets.”

  Matilda slipped off her prom mask and blinked up at me. “Janie, that’s sweet, but spring is coming. There’s no way I’d survive the heat.”

  “I could clear out the deep freeze in my basement. We could find a local butcher and get you a steady supply of chicken blood.”

  Matilda laughed. “I wish I’d had a friend like you when I was alive.”

  “We can work this out,” I insisted. My eyes began to water.

  “No,” she sighed. “It’s time. I don’t belong here anymore. It’s okay. I’m ready.” She reached up and squeezed my hand. “Tell Chloe thanks again for me, would you?”

  I nodded, not trusting my voice.

  Eddie’s soft brown eyes looked up at me in a silent apology. I pressed my lips together and nodded again before backing away so that Wayne could have his last goodbye too.

  He pressed a gentle kiss to Matilda’s lips and then took her mask. “I’m keeping this forever,” he said.

  They spent another minute, just looking at each other one last time. I imagined they said all they needed to during their initial reunion in my bedroom. The weeks in between had just been stolen time, time that other couples in their situation never got back.

  Finally, Wayne stepped out of her grave, and Eddie set to work with his book and the little Matilda hair doll. When the light slipped out of her eyes, and she was finally at peace, he crawled out to join us.

  Eddie and Wayne shoveled the dirt back over Matilda’s coffin, and then we stood over her grave and sighed and sniffled out a series of pitiful sounds. Wayne placed the crown he had swiped off of her prom picture on top of her tombstone, and we all went to wait for Chloe and Benny up the road.

  Reflections

  Chapter 24

  It was a beautiful day in May, and the air was warm with longing. Row after row of perfectly aligned metal chairs sat waiting to cramp the butts of hundreds of eager seniors and proud parents. The stage and podium w
ere hung with royal blue and silver ribbons, and matching streamers spiraled around the tree trunks of Memorial Park.

  I stacked the last box of programs on the stage stairs and wiped the sweat from my brow with the back of my hand. The graduation committee was far more work than the prom committee had been, and having to deal with Lisa Wallace was about as much fun as having to work with the Ds. It was almost over though, I reminded myself.

  In a matter of hours, I would walk up on the stage, shake the principal’s hand, take my diploma, smile for the cameras, and kiss high school goodbye forever. It was bittersweet.

  “All set?” Eddie came around the stage and handed me a bottle of water.

  “Yeah.” I smiled and took a long drink.

  The drive to the graveyard was a short one from Memorial Park. The redbuds and tulip trees were already shedding their blossoms, and they rained down on Matilda’s grave like pink and purple confetti. Wayne and Chloe were waiting for us. Wayne had brought a bouquet of white roses to lie across the uneven earth, and I had ordered an extra graduation cap to add to the prom crown on top of Matilda’s tombstone.

  We all stood around, silently watching spring pass us by. There wasn’t really anything to say, but it just felt right to share the moment together, all of us who had shared Matilda’s secret afterlife. She wouldn’t be walking down the aisle with us, but she deserved a graduation sendoff just as much as she had deserved senior prom.

  Wayne patted Eddie’s shoulder, and they exchanged soft smiles. “Everyone always wishes for one more day. I got a few extra weeks. Thanks,” Wayne said.

  It was the sweetest thing I could ever imagine him saying to the guy who had raised his girlfriend from the dead, and I loved Wayne for it. I always would love Wayne, but I wasn’t in love with him, and that was okay. He just wasn’t who I was meant to end up with. I couldn’t even say for certain that Eddie was who I was meant to end up with. We were eighteen now, and technically adults, but that didn’t mean we were done becoming who we were going to be. A lot can change in a very little amount of time. If the past year hadn’t taught me that lesson, then nothing would.

  I loved Eddie. He made my heart skip beats, and he made me laugh. He was a good person, even if he was a little crazy. I mean, who else is going to raise the dead in order to win my heart, and twice at that? I liked to think that we would get married, make little crazy babies, and grow old together, but only time would tell.

  In the fall, we would start at UCC. Eddie wanted to be an archeologist and dig things up in Africa. I was going for business management, since I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do yet.

  Wayne’s dad had finally calmed down, and he was starting to accept the fact that Wayne wasn’t interested in college. They were looking at a welding vocational program at one of the community colleges near Jasper.

  Chloe wasn’t really all that surprised about the art school in Chicago she was accepted into. Her parents were both alumni, so it was pretty much a done deal before she was even born. She was excited about having her own dorm and full-sized art studio though.

  UCC was close enough that Eddie and I were going to be able to commute together. Eddie’s mom was giving him her beat-up Jeep as a graduation present. It was currently packed with way more stuff than we needed for the road trip to Chicago we were set to leave on in the morning. We were going to check out the art gallery at Chloe’s new school and help her settle in, since she was taking a summer painting course.

  We were all still standing around Matilda’s grave when a car door slammed, and Mr. and Mrs. Hunt joined us. Mrs. Hunt hugged Wayne, since he was the only one she knew in our group. She spared the rest of us a teary smile. “It’s real sweet of you kids to come out here to see Mattie today.” She sniffled.

  Mr. Hunt took off his sunglasses and rubbed at his watery eyes. “Bless you kids. It’s good to know our little girl had such good friends.”

  No one had the heart to tell them that, aside from Wayne, the rest of us hadn’t made friends with Matilda until after she had died. Or maybe it was just that none of us were all that eager to see the inside of a padded room.

  We lingered for a minute longer, and then we left the Hunts so that they could share some private time with Matilda too. Graduation was drawing near, and there was something I had to pick up at home first.

  Time tried to stand still, but the moment finally came when we were all seated alphabetically. Eddie and I were right next to each other. Wayne was only a few seats down, and Chloe was in the row just ahead of us. Ever since prom, the four of us had been inseparable. Chloe had even started eating lunch with us. I think the fact that she soon wouldn’t have the opportunity to had finally sunk in. We had both spent the last week crying after school, promising that we’d call every day and never grow apart, even though distance has a way of doing that to the best of friends.

  The future was a scary place, but I’d had practice with scary. I don’t just mean zombie horror film scary, but that was near the top of the list. I’d come to terms with who I was and who I wasn’t. Sure, I’d made a few mistakes on the way. I’d made some really big ones too, but I’d learned something new with each one.

  I learned that shunning those who mattered most to me for the sake of some shallow, fake reputation was so not worth it, even if there was a zombie terrorist involved. I learned that I never wanted to disappoint my parents again, but that they would still love me if I did. I learned that sometimes friends can be found in unexpected places, and I learned that the right shoes can make anything seem possible.

  One by one, the principal called out our names, and we stood to accept a certificate that proved we had not only survived, but we had thrived through arguably the toughest transition of our lives. When my name was called, I walked with purpose in Matilda’s shiny blue shoes, up the stage stairs and into my future.

  Acknowledgements

  There are so many people to pay homage to for this venture away from my comfort zone in Limbo City. It definitely felt strange, traveling outside of Lana Harvey’s head, but I found Janie to be refreshingly human. A big part of my desire to take on a YA novel had a lot to do with the steady diet of R.L. Stine’s Goosebumps and Francine Pascal’s FEARLESS and Sweet Valley novels I read in my youth. These two authors created an unshakable foundation, one that I didn’t even realize was forming during the countless hours I spent reading their words after school every day.

  I owe so much thanks to my incredible husband, who allowed me to read this novel out loud to him as I typed, offered feedback, and even cried when my characters suffered. I love you oodles, and I can’t wait to coauthor a novel with you.

  I had an awesome beta reader group on Facebook for this novel, and for that I am truly grateful, especially to Robin Phillips, who provided invaluable feedback, sought out loose ends, and spotted renegade typos. Thank you for your constant support and encouragement. And a great big thank you to Kristy Estes Petree, who also found a heap of last minute typos.

  To George Shelley, whom I respectfully refer to as THE professor, thank you for reading and editing this novel, even though you would have preferred the fourth Lana installment. I promise I’ll bring that one to you next. I sincerely miss being in your class, but I’m glad we’ve been able to stay in touch and that I still get awesome book suggestions from you.

  A final thank you to all of my friends and family who have encouraged and supported me through the years, and to the Prombie Apocalypse team and sponsors. I can’t wait to have a spooky good time with you all!

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  USA Today bestselling author Angela Roquet is a great big weirdo. She collects Danger Girl comic books, owls, skulls, random craft supplies, and all things Joss Whedon. She's a fan of renewable energy, marriage equality, and religious tolerance. As long as whatever you're doing isn't hurting anyone, she's a fan of you, too.

  Angela lives in Missouri with her husband and son. She's a member of SFWA and HWA, as well as the Four Horsemen of the Bookocal
ypse, her epic book critique group, where she's known as Death. When she's not swearing at the keyboard, she enjoys boating with her family at Lake of the Ozarks and reading books that raise eyebrows. You can find Angela online at www.angelaroquet.com

  If you enjoyed this novel, please leave a review. Your support and feedback are greatly appreciated! Be sure to sign up for Angela’s newsletter, The Reaper Report, for FREE books and news on future releases and events!

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