Caitlyn Box Set

by Elizabeth Davies

  My stomach rolled. Dizziness threatened. Hot clammy sweat trickled down my back and between my breasts. I needed to sit down, but those dreadful stars held me firm with their unblinking stare.

  ‘Shut up, son.’ Idris gripped the tops of Cai’s arms and shook him. ‘Only Tan and I know the truth, and now you. We will never speak of this again. Do you hear me?’

  ‘You set this up. Set her up. You killed King Rhain.’

  There. That was it. Those were the words I didn’t want to hear. I knew they were coming from the moment Cai said, “it was you”. Take them back, Cai, I begged silently. Unsay them.

  The stars released their hold and I sank to my knees with a whisper of silk and a small thud. Told you…

  ‘What was that?’ Idris said, glancing about.

  ‘Who cares? The watch, I expect.’

  ‘I cannot see anyone.’

  Idris stepped back and craned his neck, scanning the ramparts. I held my breath. No need for those stars to keep me motionless anymore; I was too frightened to move.

  ‘Does it matter?’ Cia asked. ‘Rhain is dead and Deheubarth is lost, all because of you. Why? What did you hope to do?’

  ‘Take his place.’

  ‘As King of Deheubarth?’

  ‘Yes.’

  My hand went to my girdle, searching for my knife. It wasn’t there. I had forgotten to return it after the meal. The dagger was probably still sitting on the table where I had left it. I wanted to strike Idris in his treacherous black heart. I would slip across the walkway and come upon him from the direction of the hall. He would have his guard down, never suspecting I knew his secret. I wanted to see his face when the blade pierced his flesh, and I wanted to watch the life drain out of it along with his blood. Blood? Oh, God, those three pieces, dark, and sticky, and raw.

  ‘Something went wrong.’ Cai’s voice was flat and emotionless.

  Don’t stand there, Caitlyn, call for the watch. Idris had to be brought to account. I wished I could see the bastard’s face. Would there be remorse on it? Guilt? I opened my mouth but no sound came out.

  ‘I underestimated the effect Rhain’s death would have on his men. I thought they would rally round me,’ Idris said.

  ‘They didn’t rally, though, did they?’ Cai cried. ‘They died! You killed them. Seisyll’s men may well have dealt the blows, but it was you who killed them. We were winning, for Jesu’s sake.’

  ‘Son, listen to me. I did this for you. For Tan.

  I did not want to hear any more. Three bloody pieces. That was what my husband had been reduced to, and Idris was the man responsible. The man who had protected me, who had kissed me. The man who wanted to marry me. Bile burnt its way up my gullet and into my throat. I forced it back down. If Idris knew I had heard, he would kill me, but if there was any killing to be done this night, I intended to be the one to do it.

  ‘Where does Wulfstan fit in? Did you do it for him, too?’ Cai demanded.

  ‘Hardly, but with the battle lost, I had no choice other than to seek Wulfstan’s aid. Listen, son.’ Idris grabbed Cai by his arms again. Cai shook him off. ‘The plan was for me to defeat Seisyll and keep Deheubarth for myself. For us. I would marry Caitlyn and with Wulfstan’s help, I intended to lay claim to Gwynedd. The deal still stands, for I have two kingdoms to fight for now, not one.’

  ‘No wonder he looked so surprised when you appeared at his gates, begging for his help. He fully expected you to be King of Deheubarth the next time he saw you, not a man fleeing for his life,’ Cai said, bitterly. ‘What is in this for him? What does he get in return for all this promised aid?’

  ‘A foothold in Wales.’

  ‘Traitor.’ Cai’s voice was raw and rasping.

  I covered my face with my hands to hold back the tears.

  ‘Just practical,’ Idris said. ‘Sooner or later the English will overrun Wales. They are better armed, better organised, and there are more of them. Thousands more. I want to limit the damage. Alliance and allegiance, rather than domination and subjection.’

  ‘But you are letting the English overrun us. Wulfstan will rule, not you.’

  ‘We should return before the man in question sends out a search party.’ Idris stepped into view once more, heading for the hall.

  ‘Wait. This is not over.’ Cai grabbed his father’s sleeve. Idris turned back.

  ‘It is. What else can we do? You are my son, and I demand you stand by me.’

  ‘What about Lady Caitlyn? What if she finds out?’

  God’s blood! The taste of Idris was still on my lips. It sickened me.

  ‘She will never find out. Not even Wulfstan knows I killed Rhain. I intend to marry her. I have to. You are naive son, unused to plotting and intrigue. If Rhain’s men had followed my lead on the battlefield and not fallen apart like a bunch of scared women, Deheubarth would have been mine by default. However, I now need a legitimate claim and Caitlyn is it. Twice royal, the people will flock to her, and to me as her husband and champion.’

  ‘She’s barren.’

  ‘She will serve her purpose. Through her I will be king, and I do not need more sons. I already have two.’

  ‘You may fool yourself, Father, but you do not fool me. You are doing this for yourself.’

  ‘Ha! When I die and Tan rules Gwynedd, do not tell me you will not want to be King of Deheubarth? Bollocks. My sons will be the ones to benefit when I am gone, and if you marry one of Wulfstan’s daughters and cement the bond, he will back you and support you when you are king. He will not go against his own kin.’

  ‘Got it all thought out, haven’t you? How long have you been planning this?’

  ‘Since I first set eyes on her.’

  Idris had been planning this for three years? I did not believe it. He could have disposed of Rhain at any point during those three years. Why wait until now? Unless the time had to be ripe for Wulfstan…

  Cai paced, his boots scuffing the earth. ‘Who will really be king – you or Wulfstan?’

  ‘Me. Wulfstan will not dare show his hand too soon. King Canute will take it badly if he discovers Wulfstan has a Welsh stronghold. Lord Wulfstan plays a dangerous game, but I am willing to have him on my side for the time being.’

  ‘Was Tan in on this?’ Cai gave a bitter laugh, then answered his own question. ‘Of course, he was! He had to be.’

  ‘Is that your only gripe, that your brother knew before you?’

  ‘Don’t be stupid. My gripe is that you killed your king and his sons, and God knows how many others have died as a result, and all for a crown.’

  ‘Two crowns.’

  ‘Bastard!’ Cai launched forward, fists clenched.

  Idris danced back, dodging the blow. Cai came at him again, breathing hard.

  ‘Calm yourself, son. You’ll get us all killed.’

  ‘Most of us are dead already, and by your own hand. Fuck you. I need a drink to wash the taste of your treachery out of my mouth.’ Cai stalked away, calling over his shoulder, ‘Don’t fret, I’ll keep your bloody secret.’

  His father watched him go and made no move to follow him until Cai was out of sight.

  ‘That went well,’ Idris muttered. He lingered for a moment before letting out a deep sigh and following the other man back to the hall.

  Dear God. This was too much to take in, too much to bear.

  Released from my self-inflicted paralysis, I leaned to the side and vomited. It splattered onto the walkway, dripping down to the ground below. I vomited again, and again, until nothing was left but bitterness and despair, and the words of the woman in my vision slithered through my mind.

  He’s not what you think, my pretty…not what you think.

  Chapter 13

  I paced the walkway, up, down, back, forth. Why was I allowed to move now, when it was too late? I wished I had not heard. I could have married Idris, been a queen again, had a good life – all in happy ignorance. What strange toss of the dice had made Idris and Cai walk to that exact spot? What str
ange force was it which held me powerless in its grip?

  ‘My lady?’

  I squealed and nearly fell. A hand shot out to grip my arm. I found my balance and the sentry let go.

  ‘Thank you,’ I said, trying to sound normal.

  ‘This is no place for a woman, not even in daylight. You had best go back down.’

  ‘I will.’

  He nodded and continued on his way. Another guard came from the opposite direction. They met, exchanged a few words and turned, retracing their steps. Where had they been? Until now I had not seen one guard along this section of the rampart, not heard any firm tread on the boards.

  Everything looked different, felt different. The world had changed. Even the stars above had lost their shine. I searched for the two which reminded me of eyes. They were gone. Clouds obliterated the heavens and a stiff wind blew in from the west. The air was clean and untainted, fresh with the scent of the woodlands beyond the town.

  A shiver travelled up my spine and my scalp tingled. It was not the world which had changed, it was I. A stone sat in my chest where my heart had once beaten, hard and cold. The only emotion remaining was hatred. I wanted Idris dead. I thought I had hated Seisyll, but it was nothing compared to the loathing and disgust I felt for the man I was supposed to marry.

  A droplet of water fell on my cheek and trickled down my face like a lonely tear. More landed, slowly at first, then the rain set in with determination, the drops coming hard and fast. Within moments my borrowed gown was spattered, water soaking through to my chemise. The mild late-May night had reverted to winter, and I grimaced at the abrupt cold. I could not remain out here, however reluctant I was to go back inside.

  By the time I returned to my chamber, the gown was ruined, I was shivering uncontrollably, and my teeth chattered. I didn’t care. There was only one thing on my mind – find Idris and kill him.

  Hatred raged through me, building with each moment, keeping pace with the gathering storm. I wanted revenge. I had believed in this man. I had trusted him with my life, with Rhain’s. I had been prepared to love him.

  The room was too small, and my emotions too big to be contained within its four walls. I prowled, this way and that, caged and desperate, seeing Rhain’s body at every turn, anticipating the feel of the knife in my hand, and the look in Idris’ eyes as I sank the blade deep into his treacherous heart.

  My own heart pattered and stuttered. I put a hand to my breast in concern. It settled into its usual rhythm after a moment, leaving me nauseous and faint. I had never killed anyone before, had never even contemplated it.

  Could I do it?

  Yes.

  Would I live to tell the tale?

  Unlikely.

  I would hang, for certain. The irony of it added fuel to my anger. There would be no punishment for Idris for what he did on the battlefield, but if I killed the man in revenge it would mean my death sentence. So be it.

  Voices from the next room halted me mid-stride; Edward and Alfred. A door opened and closed. Footsteps receded down the corridor. The noise from the hall had lessened considerably, and I paced some more and waited some more, long enough for my body heat to dry the worst of the wet from my clothes.

  The bell rang for midnight mass. I had not prayed since I fled Llandarog, and it was time I did. My knees gave way and I sank to the floor, head bowed, hands clasped. I did not have a rosary and I felt the lack of it keenly. I would ask for guidance anyway.

  I prayed until the storm died down, leaving whistling wind and lashing rain in its wake. I prayed until the cold stone floor numbed my legs and I swayed with despair and exhaustion. I pleaded with the Virgin to guide me, to forgive me, to take pity on me. Tell me what to do, my Lady, I begged.

  I had never been one to feel His presence, but I had never felt His absence either. Now all I felt was a profound emptiness. Had God abandoned me?

  The only answer was half-remembered laughter and a voice in the wind. Come to me, missy.

  So be it.

  My legs shook when I clambered clumsily to my feet, little daggers shooting through my calves from kneeling for so long.

  Dagger.

  That reminded me, I needed a weapon. My own knife, the one I used to cut meat, had been left on the table when I fled the hall. It was small but the blade was sharp. It would suffice, if no one had made off with it.

  A door led to the back of the hall from the passageway outside my chamber. I eased open my own door and peered out, listening hard, hearing little above the rain and wind. The corridor was in darkness, except for a solitary candle at the far end.

  I slipped out, tip-toeing towards the door to the hall. Idris and Cai were housed in the chamber furthest from mine, Edward and Alfred in the one next to me. Their entourage were either bedded down in the barracks with the majority of Wulfstan’s men, or in the warmth of the great hall. Someone was bound to be awake. If I was not to draw attention to myself, I would have to stop looking so furtive and pretend I had forgotten something. To be fair, it was not a lie, I had forgotten my knife. But what I intended to do with it was probably daubed across my face for all to see.

  I hesitated, pushed the door open and stepped inside. The hall was alive with noise: snoring, farting, the crackle of logs in the fire pit, the muffled cries of a woman’s pleasure, and the endless wind and incessant rain on the eaves high above. For all his grand defences, Wulfstan’s fortress did not have any different sleeping arrangements to what I was used to – most people slept where they were.

  I walked on tip-toe, aiming for the dais and my forgotten knife, when the gleam of a more substantial blade caught my attention. It lay on a nearby table, an arm’s length from the man I assumed was its owner. Nearly twice as long as my little dagger and wider, it would do the job nicely. I brushed past the table and picked it up in one smooth motion. The blade was honed and so wickedly sharp I didn’t notice the slice on my thumb until I was halfway across the hall. I put the cut to my mouth and sucked at it, trying to ease the sting, the salty taste making me grimace.

  Pausing before I left the hall, I glanced around. No one had noticed me; the sleepers hadn’t even stirred. Good. Now for Idris.

  If Cai had already retired to sleep, I planned on making him feel so uncomfortable he would have to leave. Idris would not turn me away from his bed, and he would happily believe I wanted to share it. Such was my grand plan; get Idris alone and stab him.

  No noise came from behind their door, not even a snore, as far as I could tell over the shriek of the storm, so I turned the handle and eased it open. A candle burned on a sideboard, giving just enough light to see that my future husband was alone. I forced a smile to my lips and crept inside, my soft leather slippers sighing across the flagstones.

  Idris lay on his back, an arm flung over his head, face turned away, fast asleep. The covers were pushed down to his waist, and dark gold hair curled across his naked chest. My smile grew wider. No shift or blanket to impede my blade, no boiled leather jerkin to turn it from its deadly path. No need for false seduction. It might be a coward’s way, but I intended to stab him as he slept.

  The bone hilt of the dagger was warm and solid in my palm. Idris let out a snuffle. I halted, moving my hand so the folds of my skirt hid the weapon from view. I did not want to risk him waking and seeing me brandishing it. I inched closer, silently. Just a foot or so more and-

  Idris launched himself out of bed. Before I had a chance to scream he was on me, hands around my neck, choking the life out of me.

  ‘Idris,’ I wheezed, pulling at his iron-strong arms.

  His grip slackened, and he let go with an oath and stepped back. ‘God’s blood, Caitlyn, I could have killed you. What were you thinking of, creeping up on a man?’

  Murder, that was what I had been thinking, and I cursed my stupidity. I should have known that a man so used to battle would sleep with one eye open. Better to have woken him fully, than to have attempted to kill him as he slept. Now the moment was lost, and I found I
no longer had the stomach for it.

  ‘Did I hurt you?’ he asked, leaning forward to inspect my neck. He smelled of warm, sleepy man, and sweat.

  I was glad he had kept his breeches on in bed. The sight of him revolted me. ‘No,’ I said.

  My throat did hurt, but I had another matter on my mind. Where was the dagger? I must have dropped it. I glanced at the floor but could not see it. Time to leave. The moment was lost, both for killing and seduction. My heart was no longer in it. I could not marry the man, but I could not kill him either. I walked to the door.

  ‘Wait,’ he said. ‘Is this yours?’

  I stopped and turned back, dread forming icicles in my mind. He held out the knife, hilt first. Oh Lord, he knew what I had come to do.

  ‘Yes. No.’ What should I say? ‘I lost mine, but found this one.’

  ‘Put it away before you hurt someone. Have you no sheath for it?’

  I shook my head. He was still holding it out. I put it in my pocket and tottered to the door.

  ‘Caitlyn, I am truly sorry. I would not hurt you deliberately. Please stay.’

  I froze, my hand on the latch, and thought about what he had just said. When I turned to face him, my lips wore a seductive smile. He should have stayed silent. Not hurt me deliberately indeed!

  My eyes met his. Mine were full of promise, his held dawning excitement. My braid hung heavily down my back and I pulled it over my shoulder, leaned against the door and undid the ribbon. He watched my fingers stroke down the length of the plait and tease the thick strands free. His mouth parted. I shook my head, long damp waves falling to my waist. A bulge grew in his breeches. I stared at his crotch and licked my lips.

  With a groan, he took the three steps which separated us, and gathered me to him, his lips seeking mine. I melted into the kiss, his mouth hard and insistent, his tongue finding my own. I whimpered. He must have thought it was from desire, for he ground his manhood against my mound. The only desire I felt was the desire to end his life.

  Pulling my mouth away, I trailed little kisses down his throat. He buried a hand in my hair, grasping the back of my head and I fingered the knife in my pocket. He tilted his head to the side as I nibbled his neck. The arm around my waist gripped me tighter, and he moaned softly, rubbing his cock against me. I curled my fist around the knife and eased it from my pocket.