Chapter 13
Something shifted the other night when Blaze wrecked, and I finally let go and gave into my feelings for Sunshine. For the first time since Red, I feel like I can open myself to someone and live again. Sunshine could be the woman I let have another piece of my heart.
Baby moved in with me and things have been going smoothly between us. She still has dinner with Foxie and the boys, but she sleeps here now, in her room, at my place. We haven’t spent that much time together really with her going to school, and me trying to squeeze in time with Sunshine. The one thing we do agree on is Sunshine. They’ve taken right up with each other, though I worry about letting them get close. I hear that kind of shit messes with a kid. Romeo tells me to quit being a pussy and claim her ass, says that Baby is old enough, that she would be happy for me. Motherfucker has one kid and now he is the expert. Letting them hangout makes me feel like a hypocrite when I a jumped Foxie’s ass for working in the same whorehouse as Sunshine, because I did not want that shit tainting Baby.
Finally, I have a call from Skull, been wondering what he wanted to talk to me about. He asked me to meet him at Romeo’s. Says I may need him later. Must be serious if he can’t talk to me about it here at the Roadhouse. After I meet up with him, I am heading over to the hospital to check in on Blaze, he has been refusing visitors. Brother is seriously depressed, and I can’t imagine what he must be going through. If I couldn’t ride, let alone fucking walk, my life would be royally fucked. The club and my motorcycle mean everything to me.
If a brother can’t ride, he usually loses his title, but Blaze is our treasurer, not sure how Slim wants to handle it. We didn’t talk about what the future is looking like for Blaze and the club. He has ridden by my side for a long time now even though he is young. Shit seems so off without him around. If I could have kept my cool, he would be riding out with me today to talk to Skull. He did handle the shit in Chicago without issue. I should’ve handled our personal beef differently.
“Long time no see, old man. I’ve missed your old cranky ass.”
Skull embraces me and kisses me on the cheek. “Missed ye too, son. You'll see me more soon I hope.” He looks at me with a sad expression. He is getting sentimental in his old age. He rides in the charity runs we do to keep his patch, but other than that he stays scarce these days. He is close with Baby though, been the best grandpa a biker brat could ask for, even if he isn’t related by blood, he has always looked out for me.
“Christ, what is this a fucking love fest.” Romeo is standing on the porch of the cabin with a kid strapped to his chest.
“Damn man, you wear an apron too?” Skull and I both bust out laughing. The motherfucker looks goofy as hell with a baby dangling down his chest.
LL comes out on the porch and trades Romeo a jar of moonshine for the baby. Now that looks more like the Romeo, I know. LL takes the kid inside and comes back out with a jar for Skull and me. We take a seat at the picnic table in the front yard and LL goes back inside, but not before her and Romeo practically fuck in front of us. He grabs LL on the ass and pinches it hard as she walks away simply fucking glowing. The two of them are like horny teenagers. It makes me happy to see them doing so good after all the shit they had between them. “Fuck, she drives me wild.” Romeo shakes his head as she gets out of view.
“You done? I mean we can give you a minute to get your nuts off, we ain’t busy or nothing.” I punch him in the arm.
“You jealous. Want me to kiss you and pinch your ass too?” Romeo chuckles at me and moves in like he is about to lay one on me. Goofy bastard.
“You two done dicking around. I ain’t here for shits and giggles, we got serious business to discuss.” Skull is getting impatient with us. I knew he wanted to talk but shit must be brewing. He scratches his grey beard in deep thought. “Got a tip on something important and I know you trust Romeo, that’s why I asked to see you both. That kid you’ve been looking for...I found her.” He takes an envelope out of his cut and produces pictures of a teenage girl with strawberry blonde hair. I know it is her when I see her eyes. She has her momma’s eyes. It is really Red’s daughter, Sarah.
“Where? How?” I ask in shock because I have been looking for her for a good part of the past thirteen years. My chest constricts. I may be about to have a damn heart attack. All this time I thought maybe she wasn’t even real, and I’ve been chasing a fairytale.
I don’t know what to say.
“Benji has her down in Alabama. Got you an address.” He lays down a piece of paper in front of me, with directions. “They aren’t alone. Got a woman and another man with them. Didn’t get to see what they look like.”
“Thank you, Skull. But how the hell did you find her? Who gave you this information?” I am grateful for the lead, every thought I had about giving up getting Sarah and bringing her and Baby together is dead. I will find her.
He takes a drink of his shine. “My niece works in the photo department over at the Office Hut and said she recognized the name on the account. The pictures were sent from another store in Alabama, had Hook’s name as the pickup on it. My Mary called me, being she knows about the history between our clubs and about your search for the girl. I needed to wait to confirm the address before I gave you the information. She’s there and no one knows but us and Mary. She won't squeal.”
“When do you want to ride out, brother?” Romeo asks getting up from the table. “You let me know. I am going to talk to LL, she knows to keep her mouth shut. Call me when you’re ready to ride.”
“Appreciate it, man.” Romeo is like my own right arm. He’s always got my back. He’s a damn good friend. “Make sure you arm up. Shit isn’t going to be nice and sweet. Gonna blow a hole through that motherfucker.” I smile at the thought of ending that piece of shit once and for all. Fuck, Baby just moved in and here I am running out on her again. Kid doesn’t deserve this shit. I don’t want to send her back to Foxie after just getting her back. And I was making progress with Sunshine. I’ve got to get my shit in order before I ride out. Slim can’t know where I am going. I hate to say it, but I still don’t fully trust him. I know he has proven to me that he has my back, but I still get this funny vibe from him. Could be nothing, could be me feeling guilty for fucking Foxie, but the feeling is there, and I can’t shake the motherfucking uneasiness that knots up in my chest when I think about it.
**
Baby is at school, I won't leave until she gets home, and I want to see her before I ride out. Blaze is going to have to wait until I come back. If I come back. I’m on a mission to fucking serve up some justice for Red.
Pulling up to the Fox’s Den, I am not sure what I am doing, but I have to do this. If I don’t come back from this ride, I want to go out knowing Sunshine knows I fucking care for her.
I walk straight up to the front desk and ask for Sunshine, and I am told she is with a client in her room. Fuck that, this shit ends now. “You can’t go in there,” the girl behind the desk calls out after me. Stone is working security here today. He just nods when he sees me coming down the hall.
I need to fill Sunshine in more on the history with Foxie and me but right now there isn’t time. “Which room?” I ask from down the hall when I am met by a bunch of doors that all look the same.
“Third one on the left second hallway.” I follow Stone’s directions and don’t bother knocking. I charge into the room and find Sunshine tied up to the bed being spanked by an old man. I rip the paddle from his grip and smack him right across the face with it. Blood starts gushing from his nose and he falls to the floor screaming. Her ass is pink, and I am seeing red. Don’t care if the fucker paid. She’s mine and ain’t no man going to touch what’s mine. The paddle is still within my grip, I take one hard swing at her ass, letting her know I’m fuckin’ boss. If she wants spanked, I’ll fuckin’ be the one to do it.
Sunshine is trying to whip her head around to see what is going on. She gasps in shock when I start untying her. Rubbing her wrists, she is pi
ssed. “What the fuck are you doing, Grim? We talked about this. I have to have a job.”
“Not anymore you fucking don’t.” She gets off the bed and rushes over to her customer, whom is curled up in the fetal position, trying to stop the blood from pouring out of his smashed up nose.
“I am so sorry, George.” she turns back to me seething with rage. “I can’t believe you just did that. I am going to get kicked out of here. I need this money, Grim. I don’t have anywhere else to go.” I can see the fear and panic written on her face. I knew that feeling when I was a kid and I killed my mother. I just knew I was going to die either on the street or by the hands of Hook and the Devils Rejects. It hurts me to see that in Sunshine, she is always so happy.
“Get dressed and grab a bag. We’ve gotta talk, and I don’t have a lot of time.” I order her and give her an expression that tells her I mean business. We don’t have time to waste with her being stubborn. She does what I ask and climbs on the back of my chopper without any questions.
Once we are away from the whorehouse, I pull over to the first clearing we come to, a cornfield. When she gets off my bike, she has tears in her eyes, angry tears. I know I did this by my actions, but when I saw that old grandpa looking bastard beating on her, I lost it. “Do you really let that motherfucker stick his wrinkled old dick in my pussy?” I grab her right in her cunt and hold her in place. “Answer me goddamnit!” I get right down in her face and she bursts out laughing. “You think this shit is funny? I'm being motherfuckin’ real with you right now. I want to know does he fuck you? Does he stick that old Johnson between your legs and make you scream?”
Sunshine smacks at my chest. “Fuck you, Grim. You don’t get to talk to me like that, you are the one person who seen me for me, but you are just like all the rest. You think I am just a cheap whore. Well fuck you, but I guess the joke is on me because I gave it up to you for free.” A tear trickles down her cheek and I feel like a rotten bastard.
“No, that’s not true and you know it. I fucking care about you. Hell, darlin’, I might even love you. I am running out of time, fuck!” I let go of her and she sags against my chest crying. With a few strands of her hair between my fingers, I brush the rest from her eyes. “Look at me, Sunshine. I am being honest with you. I. Need. You. I. Want. You. This isn’t how I wanted to do this, but I have to leave town, and no one can know where I am going. I know where Sarah is, and I am going after her. I don’t know if I will come back. Benji killed the mother of my child and he has her other daughter. This shit is going to be a battle. I could lose everything, but if I do, I want to go out knowing that you and Baby are taken care of. I want you to marry me, right now. Today. If you marry me before I leave—if I don’t come back, you’d have custody of Baby, and you’d get my cut of all the club money. You’d be taken care of and safe.” She is looking at me with a lost expression on her face taking in everything I just said. I know it is a hell of a lot to put on her. Fuck, she might not even like me for all I know.
“I don’t want your money, Grim. I want you. You say that you need me and that you want me, but do you mean it or is it because I am available?”
“I said I fuckin’ want you, and yeah, I need you, but because you make me feel whole again. Not because you’re easy pussy. Honey, I have had easy pussy, if I wanted it, I’d have it. You challenge me and make me see parts of me that I thought were dead and gone. You make me want to try. You. No one else.”
“Promise me you will come back. Promise me.” Her voice cracks. Her sweet lips crash into mine and it is a groundbreaking kiss, so full of lust, love, and passion. We are both hurt, angry, and horny–an explosive combination. I turn her around and she places her palms flat on the seat of my motorcycle. I push her dress up over her hips and rip her thong completely off and drive my cock roughly into her tight little cunt. I fuck her hard and fast with cars blowing past us, oblivious to what we are doing in the cornfield.
“Grim,” she calls out my name as I pump her full of me. “I think I love you too. So much it hurts. I want all of you, every piece of you. Give me every bit of you that’s true. The good, the bad, the ugly—I want it all.”
“When I come back, you'll have it all and more.”
**
After fucking Sunshine on the side of the road, we are on our way to the courthouse. I hope she understands why I want her to do this, and what it means. I hope she realizes how important it is to me that Baby doesn’t end up with Foxie and Slim if something were to happen to me. If I don’t make it out of this alive, she promised me she would take my money and raise Baby far away from the club, no matter what. I don’t want to leave her in the hands of Slim, with me having the strange feelings I do and with all the awkwardness between Foxie and me it wouldn’t feel right.
An hour and lots of paperwork later, Sunshine comes out of the county courthouse Mrs. Jack Jones. I promised her if I come back that we will do this the right way. Right now, no one needs to know that we are married. All they need to know is that Romeo and I are headed south to look at some equipment for the distillery, and that Sunshine is staying at my place with Baby, until I get back. She knows that if I am not back by Baby’s birthday to take my kid out like she is treating her to a girl’s day out for her birthday, when in fact she will be leaving the Black Rebel Riders’ and Drag Creek, Kentucky for good.
Baby isn’t happy that I am leaving. I told her the same story I am telling everyone else, that I am going with Romeo to look at new equipment. She is happy to have Sunshine staying with her though. They are already in the kitchen making a store list for snacks and movies. I kiss both of my girls goodbye one final time. Sunshine clings to me a little longer than she normally would, but I know she is terrified that I might not walk back through this door again. I give her the keys to my truck and to my safe. I put all the documents in there that gives her everything, all of my assets except for the account I set up for Baby years ago. Money goes into her account from mine every month, and I have my lawyer finishing up the final paperwork, making sure my girl is always looked out for. He is going to deliver them to Sunshine in a few days after he gets everything worked out.
After talking to Slim and letting him know Romeo, and I are headed out for a week or so, I set off on the highway to hell.
Chapter 14
Southern Alabama
Sarah
Some days I think I will never leave this place. That I will never get away from Squirrel...his touch...his breath. I squeeze my eyes closing them tight while he does what he does almost every night that he is around. The past few months Diablo has been sending Squirrel away on business, but tonight he is here in my room, touching me, doing what he refers to as showing me how to feel good. The only thing he makes me feel is empty.
The bed creaks and he stops, afraid that someone might hear him, my father in particular. I think if he knew the things his so-called best friend does to me, he would either kill him or make him marry me. I fear that it would be the latter. Therefore, I keep my mouth shut, and the fear that he would hurt Betty is never far from my mind.
He quickens his pace and my head bobs up and down quietly into the pillow as he rocks his body into mine. “Love you so much, Sarah.” He grunts and shudders, resting his sweaty forehead against mine. He places a kiss on my lips and leaves me to cry alone in the silence and dark of the night. One day I hope to be brave enough to either kill him or me. I don’t know how much more of his love I can take.
**
Living in Alabama itself isn’t bad. It really is beautiful here, but I am not allowed to leave the house unless Betty is with me. I know she knows what Squirrel does to me, and yet her mouth stays shut. She isn’t bad but she is one of them. She isn’t mean to me or anything like that, but she doesn’t do anything to stop it, or prevent it from happening.
I am beginning to think that Grim isn’t real, and he is never coming to end this hell. Betty probably never knew him either, she probably made that shit up about him and loving him once. Sh
e probably was trying to keep me from being so scared. I hate my life, but it won’t always be this way. That is the lei I feed myself to keep myself going. I keep hanging on hoping one day something will change.
One thing I have been doing is studying for my GED. As soon as I turn eighteen, I am leaving this house...this life, and I am starting over anywhere but here. If anyone gets in my way, I’ll kill them if I have to.
**
“You feeling alright, girl?” My father asks, as I sit down at the table for breakfast. Like he really cares how I feel. I shrug my shoulders. I didn’t get much sleep last night. I can never sleep on the nights Squirrel pays visit to my room. I am always afraid he will come back for more.
Speaking of the disgusting piece of shit, Squirrel walks into the kitchen whistling and gives me a wink. I roll my eyes and stab at my eggs with my fork, wishing I could stab him right in the dick with my fork instead of the food on my plate. When I look up, I notice my father looking at Squirrel funny. He catches me watching him, and excuses himself from the table.
I’m not able to eat. My stomach is still upset from all the crying I did into the morning. I grab my books to study for my test and go out onto the front porch. I love listening to the birds and the frogs, they bring me a minimal amount of peace. There is just something so soothing about the sounds of nature. I leave my window cracked at night, the sounds of the crickets help me sleep when my nightmares don’t keep me tossing and turning.
Just Ride Black Rebel Riders' MC Volume 1 Page 17
