UnTouch Me

by Dawn Martens

  “Calm down. Tell me everything.” I try to drag her to the couch with me.

  “Well, you look freshly fucked.” She laughs softly. “I just came to say goodbye. I have everything in my car. I’m going to Eden for a bit, to help her with those kids once they’re born. She’s gonna need it. I got a transfer put in with school. I’ll help her out, and then I’m going to Calgary to finish my schooling and get a job,” she tells me all in one breath. Kind of makes me think there’s more she isn’t telling me. She seems to already have everything mapped out for this to have just happened so quickly. Seems we all have a lot of secrets these days.

  “Hilary, no, you can’t leave. Not you too,” I say. After Eden ran out on me, I can’t bear to lose Hilary too—she’s all I have left. She’s my best friend. It was always the three of us, until life got in the way with its unwelcomed complications.

  “I’m sorry, Lilly. Maybe Eden had this shit right—leaving. You’re next. I never thought Mason would do that shit to me, but he has. Vinny, I bet he’s had pussy too, and not just yours,” she tells me with a sneer, flipping her long black hair over her shoulder.

  I’m getting angry now. “Hilary, just because Mason did this to you, doesn’t mean you can say that shit about my man.”

  “I’m just stating the truth. Kayla will be finished with college soon, and you and I both know they’ll probably get back together,” she spits at me. “She only rented out the condo her daddy left her, so you know she’ll be back.” Okay, that hurt and was uncalled for, but I’m going to let that slide because she’s hurting. Vinny and Kayla had a thing, but that’s been over for a long time. He’s with me now. Vinny loves me, not her.

  I get to the club and see a few of the club whores sprawled out on the pool table, naked and snorting coke off one another’s tits. This place fuckin’ disgusts me. I look around, trying to find Jasper, and see him on the couch with Monica lying on top of him. Can’t believe he’s fucking around with that bitch. I know he needs to move on, but fucking her isn’t the answer. She doesn’t hold a candle to Eden—never could, never will. It’s not even that she’s ugly; it’s her nasty ass personality. She’s a total clingy bitch.

  He’s been really fucked up since losing Eden. We’ve searched everywhere trying to find her. After two months of nothing, we gave up, Mason and I, but Jasper still searched for two more weeks. He still came up with nothing, though. It was then he gave up, realizing he probably wouldn’t find her. Seeing Jasper on that couch, after clearly spending a night fucking Monica, I know we need to do something to fix him.

  She’s become a regular in the club since Jasper joined up.

  This isn’t the life that Jasper, Mason, or I wanted. We’ve always talked about changing things up around here, but until Jasper’s dad kicks the bucket, we’re stuck in this place. I just don’t know how much longer I can keep holding out for shit to turn around.

  I go over to the couch Jasper’s laying on and kick it. He lets out a groan and startles awake, shoving Monica off him and onto the floor.

  “Hey!” she shouts, still half asleep. She rubs her eyes groggily and stumbles toward the bathroom.

  “Fuckin’ hell,” Jasper murmurs, scrubbing his hands over his tired eyes.

  “Have fun last night?” I ask, amused.

  He shakes his head, sitting up on the couch, staring around the room. “I don’t even remember anything.” He takes a beer from a nearby table and takes a hard swig. “Fuck, that tastes like piss.”

  “Knowing this place, it probably is, man.” I laugh and take a seat beside him. I turn serious, and he knows I’m serious because I take my beanie off and lay it over my leg. “We really need to get this club cleaned up, man,” I say after looking around, making sure there are no ears. “Those drugs you’ve been takin’, man, you gotta stop that shit.” I never thought Jasper would touch that shit; Mason maybe, but not Jasper. He used to not even want to smoke weed. It’s like he doesn’t even know who he is anymore. Since losing Eden, he’s lost himself too. I gotta bring him back to reality.

  He rubs his face. “I know. It’s just hard,” he says roughly.

  “She’s just a woman, man. Seriously, I loved Eden too. But you, this fucked up shit you’re doing, it isn’t good for you.” If I could bring her back here for him, I would, but, hell, she wouldn’t want this version of Jasper.

  “I get you, brother. Shit’s fucked, man- losing Eden, then that fuckin’ dream I keep havin’ about her being here and me being a dick with Monica riding me. Fuckin’ hell, it felt so real,” he says in pain. He’s been telling me about that dream for a few months now. Damn, if Eden had seen that, she’d never look back. That would crush her.

  Victor, our Pres who’s also Jasper’s dad, comes over, interrupting our chat. “Boys, need you to ride down to Red Deer. Untamed Angels need some extra muscle. They have a shipment of new girls coming in from the border, and you need to make sure they arrive,” he tells us. He’s such a seedy bastard. Vic is so damn crooked when he walks, you can’t tell if the bastard is coming or going.

  “Girls for what?” Jasper asks, sounding bored.

  “I didn’t ask, but chances are it’s for their new massage parlour they opened up in Devon. You don’t really need to know any more than that. They asked for a marker, so you boys’ll be doing that. Take the prospect with you. Pick a few others too. Not Mason. I need him for something else.” Vic walks away, signalling to the red-headed twins that he wants a turn at them.

  “Fuckin’ sick,” Jasper says from beside me as he watches his dad walk away with the twins.

  I snort. “Guess the old bastard can still get it up. Or maybe he just wants to watch them?”

  “Yeah, no, they’re fuckin’ sisters! Don’t think even the whores would go for incest,” he says.

  “So, who we taking with us for this trip?” I ask him, leaning back on the couch.

  “I don’t know. He said the prospect. Hell, do you even know his name? Because I don’t,” he says, shaking his head.

  “Nope, never heard his name before. James maybe? I don’t know,” I say.

  “Uh, so him, us, and maybe Kicks and Hank?”

  “Yeah, they’ll do. Plus, they might be able to help me keep you off the drugs while we’re there,” I tell him.

  I see his jaw clench when I say that, but whatever. Fucker needs to stop the drugs. Just since Eden’s gone doesn’t mean he can destroy his life.

  “I’m gonna get this trip goin’. We’ll leave in two days,” Jasper says, getting off the couch.

  I watch him grab Lacey. I swear that chick has been passed around by everyone- fuckin’ sick—and takes her into his room.

  I get up and head out, wanting to just ride for a bit. I see Mason outside the compound gates talking to some guy in a suit. Mason gets handed a folder and nods his thanks to the guy. Wonder what that’s about.

  Walking out of the store with my shopping cart, I spot Mason leaning against my car, arms folded over his leather cut, glaring at me with a menacing sneer.

  “Um, hi?” I say hesitantly when I get close. I know what he wants, and I’m not going to give it to him. He can try to intimidate me all he wants.

  “Where is she?” he demands, narrowing his hard cold eyes on me.

  I shake my head at him. “I don’t know,” I quip, shrugging my shoulders with indifference. I walk past him to the trunk and begin putting my bags inside, hoping he’ll give up and walk away.

  “Don’t fuckin’ lie to me right now, Lilly. I went home this morning, and she was fuckin’ gone. Most of her shit’s gone too. If you know where she is, fuckin’ tell me,” he says, leaning in so close to me that his breath hits my ear.

  I turn around to face him. “She came to see me the other night, said good bye, and that you guys were getting divorced. She didn’t tell me where she was going,” I lie. No way can I say she’s going to see Eden until she gives birth.

  His eyes darken. “We’re not fuckin’ divorcing,” he says through clenched
teeth.

  I narrow my eyes at him. “Did you not sleep with a club whore while you were married to her? Did she not walk in on it? Yeah, pretty sure she’s done.” I ignore the angry vibe he’s throwing at me and continue. “You should be getting those divorce papers soon. Make sure you sign them.” I poke him in the chest, knowing better than to provoke him, but he’s the reason I’m without yet another best friend. If he would have kept his dick in his pants, Hilary would still be here.

  He grabs me by the throat and pushes me against my car, his grip tightening on my neck. “If you talk to her, tell her to get her mother fucking ass home. I swear, Lilly, if I find out you are lying about knowing where she is just so I can’t get to her, I’ll fuckin’ kill you.”

  I try to gulp, fear gripping me with his words. What the hell happened to Mason for him to be like this? “I’m not lying,” I whisper out. I never thought he’d lay a hand on me—I’m his best friend’s girl.

  He lets go of my throat and steps away, giving me a hard look. He walks toward his bike, fires it up, and drives off. Not once does he look back. I shakily climb into my car, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

  After getting home, I quickly put the groceries away and go to the bathroom. I see bruising forming on my throat. There’s no way I can hide this from Vinny.

  I walk into the clubhouse after my ride and am happy as fuck Pres isn’t here right now. I passed him on my ride, saw him leaving town with a few old timers. Mason’s totally losing it, trashing the place to shreds. He slams a beer bottle against the wall. Violently, the shards of glass cascade to the floor.

  “Man, what the fuck?” Jasper roars from my side.

  Bruce comes around the bar and gives Jasper a folder. I lean in close, looking at it as he opens it up. Divorce papers. “Well, that explains why he’s losing his shit,” I say. I knew him and Hilary hit a rough patch, but damn. Divorce—this is serious.

  Jasper slaps the folder on the bar and walks to Mason, trying to calm him down. “You wanted this, man. You had to know it would actually happen,” I hear Jasper tell him.

  “Fuck that! I was pissed when I said that and lashed out. I just wanted to make her fucking hurt and have her grovel, not this shit,” he shouts.

  “Wow, you sound like a fuckin’ woman saying that. ‘Oh I’m just gonna hurt her to pay her back and have her feel like shit so she pleads and begs me to take her back’,” I say, mocking him.

  “Fuck you,” he growls at me, shoving me, causing me to lose footing so I fall on my ass.

  I get up and charge at him, causing us both to land on the floor. I get in a good punch, his lip splitting open, when Jasper grabs me and pulls me off him.

  “Walk it off, man.” Jasper pushes me outside, leaving Bruce to deal with Mason. “Fuck, what were you thinking? Mason will rip your scrawny ass a new asshole.”

  “Mason can go eat a dick for all I care. He’s changed. I have a bad feeling about the shit he has been getting mixed up in.”

  “Yeah, well it’s his choice, man. His choice.”

  “Whatever.” I shrug and get back on my bike to head over to my woman’s place.

  I shut off my bike and go up to the house, unlocking the door. I find Lilly on the couch, staring blankly at the wall. “What’s wrong?” I ask her, coming close. It’s then I see bruising on her neck. “What the fuck?” I roar.

  She jumps, and her eyes go wide. I see her gulp, almost as if it hurts. “Vinny, hey, I didn’t hear you come in,” she says hoarsely.

  “Who the fuck touched you?” I demand.

  She shakes her head. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it,” she tells me, whispering.

  “It’s not nothing, Lilly. Who put their fucking hands on you?” I shout in her face.

  She shrinks back, flinching. “He didn’t mean it, Vinny. He was upset about Hilary. He just…” She trails off.

  “Mason fucking did that? I’m gonna kill him,” I tell her, kissing her quickly on the neck. I leave, making my way to the clubhouse.

  I break the speeding laws to get to the clubhouse. As I enter the gates of the compound, I quickly park, shutting off my bike, and storm inside.

  “You mother fucker!” I yell at Mason. He’s sitting at the bar with the whore twins rubbing his thighs. “You put your fucking hands on Lilly?”

  At those words, I hear a few people take in shocked breaths. Before I get the chance to clock him the fuck out, Jasper beats me to it.

  “You put your hands on a brother’s woman?” he growls out, standing over Mason. “What the fuck did Lilly ever do to you?”

  Jasper’s hands are wrapped around Mason’s throat, squeezing.

  “I’m sorry, fuck,” Mason wheezes out.

  Jasper lets him go and gets up, but not before landing a kick to his side. “Fuckin’ dick!”

  It’s then I realize that Jasper’s high, again. I was only gone half an hour, if that. I go to Mason and put out my hand to help him up. As he takes it and starts to get up, I clock him and watch as blood pours from his nose.

  “Touch my woman again, I won’t hesitate to fucking end you, brother or not,” I say and walk out of the clubhouse, getting back to Lilly.

  After parking my bike, I go straight into the house, taking Lilly in my arms. Gently, I brush my lips over the bruising on her tender neck. “No man will ever put his hands on you again, Lilly-pad.”

  Her fingers dance across my back as she rubs my aching muscles. Her touch sets my skin ablaze. “Only you.” She winks and leads me upstairs to bed.

  I take my time showing her just how much she means to me. I make sure to cover every inch of her skin with my hands, my mouth. My tongue glides over her rosy buds. Her fingers grip my beanie; I swear I think she just pulled some of my hair out, but I don’t care right now. Her legs are spread, ready and open for me. I inch inside that sweet pussy, and she tightens around me. Her legs are locked around my waist. Motherfucking ambrosia.

  Two months later

  After telling Vinny what happened, he was livid, he kissed me quickly, then left, most likely to go after Mason. But I understood Mason’s rage; his wife took off. I get it. Vinny didn’t care. He came home later that night with busted up knuckles. I took one look at him and shook my head—men. Vinny calmed down a bit, even explained what happened at the clubhouse before he came home and saw the bruises. He made love to me, so sweet and gentle, kissing the bruising around my neck.

  I check the time on the clock that’s sitting on my dresser, and realize I might be running late for work today. Shit. I got a job at the local grocery store just for the extra cash since my mom only gets clients a few times a week. I work for her, working on the books and stuff, but I need more than that. My dad sent me money for this house I bought, but in order to keep up on the mortgage payments, I needed more cash. I’m about to run out the door when my land line goes off.

  “Hello?” I say, out of breath from rushing to the phone.

  “Hey, bitch, Eden is in labour. She needs a c-section, though, so just wanted to call you up and let ya know,” Hilary tells me excitedly.

  “Why the c-section?” I ask her, worried. Having twins is risky, and Eden is young.

  “She opted for it. Apparently you can do that with twins. She also wants to get her tubes fuckin’ tied,” she says, sounding mad.

  “Why the hell?” I know twins are a lot to take on, but like I said, Eden’s young. That isn’t a decision to go into blindly. What if she wants more later on?

  “Some bullshit about this is her one shot, so she’s going to live it up. No more kids or some such shit—I don’t know. She was able to find a doctor that would do it, but I convinced her to just get them clamped, so it’s reversible,” Hilary tells me, sounding relieved a bit.

  “Well, that’s good. I wish she would just come home,” I say into the phone. I miss them both so much, and Eden’s going to need all the help she can get with the babies.

  “Yeah, doubtful. Her anger at Jasper has blown up, big
time. Not sure what the hell happened between them at the end. Seriously, this isn’t just a simple case of heartbreak. I’m telling you, shit is running deep.” I hear her name called in the background. “Lilly, babe, gotta go. Her spinal took, so I’m going in the room to be with her. I’ll call with an update later, send you some pictures,” she says before hanging up.

  I realize I’m now even later for work, so I rush out, get into my car, and take off.

  Rushing inside the store, I see my boss. “I’m so sorry I’m late,” I rush out.

  Jackie smiles at me. “It’s okay, sweetie. Everyone’s late sometimes. You are on ‘til six today. Your cash drawer was already counted, so you just need to sign in,” she says, smiling at me.

  The day drags on and on, and I swear I now understand why people buy extremely ugly but comfortable shoes. Clocking out and counting my cash drawer, I deposit my slips in the office and head home.

  An hour later, Vinny comes strolling through my front door with bags of Chinese food.

  “Oh my hero,” I say sweetly, grinning up at him.

  He shakes his head at me. “Nut,” he grumbles playfully.

  As we’re dishing out our food, my phone chimes with a message. I set my plate aside and reach for the phone. A huge smile takes over my face as I look at the pictures of Eden’s twins, Jessica and Ethan. I wish I was there. I wish I could hold them, help her out.

  I can’t even talk to Vinny or show him these pictures. This is hard.

  “What’s with the grin?” Vinny asks.

  My smile falters- shit, how do I explain this? “It’s nothing, just Hilary letting me know she’s okay. She sent me a picture of some dude’s ass,” I say, hoping to deflect.

  I quickly scroll my thumb over the screen, deleting the pictures from the message history. Thank God, because Vinny grabs my phone from my hand and scrolls up. “They are so damn cute,” he says, reading my message.

  I roll my eyes. “Knock it off, Vinny.”

  “Where are the messages after that, Lilly?” he says quietly.