by Dawn Martens
“Uh, hi, Lilly,” I hear.
I look up and see Monica smiling slightly at me. “Uh…hey, Monica.”
“Mind if I take a seat?” she asks, her hand on the chair across from me.
“Sure, go ahead,” I say.
“How are you?” she asks, picking at her muffin.
“Good as can be, I guess. How are you?”
“Same as you,” she says, giggling slightly.
“Jasper treating you good?” I ask her.
She nods. “Yeah, he is, but he still isn’t over Eden. I know she was your best friend and all, but it’s been a long time now. I wish I was all he saw.”
I kinda feel bad for her in a way. “How’s schooling coming?” I say, wanting to get off the topic of Eden.
“It’s going well. I can’t wait to get my teaching degree. After losing my child, knowing that I won’t ever have another, this will be good for me,” she says, her eyes filling up with tears.
She had a miscarriage in the middle of a really bad high a while back. It devastated both her and Jasper, and it’s what finally made them decide to get clean.
We keep chatting; she’s telling me about schooling, and it makes me think that maybe I could go to school for myself, do something I love. I know I applied for beauty school, but I’ve been so focused on Vinny…I haven’t really put much stock into going. But I’ve been thinking I should go for it.
“What about you? Can’t work at that grocery store forever,” she says. I know she means well.
I grin. “Well, I applied to beauty school down in Red Deer. It’s gonna be amazing if I can get in.”
“That’s awesome. You always used to do Hilary and Eden’s hair, and they always looked great,” she says, sounding excited for me.
I nod. “Yeah, it’s what I’ve wanted to do for a long time.”
“How’s Vinny feel about you going to school over an hour away?” she asks.
I shrug. “Haven’t told him yet. Trying to avoid yet another fight between us right now, so I’m putting it off until I just can’t anymore.”
“I don’t see why he’d have an issue.”
“Yeah, except the school is in Red Deer. Do you really think I want to be travelling on that damn highway for over an hour every day? To and from? Nopes. I’ll be getting a place or a room just while I’m in school.”
Her eyes bug out. “Uh, yeah, Vinny’s gonna shit a brick.”
I giggle. “Right?”
We end up having a nice afternoon just chatting. In high school, I hated her just as much as Hilary and Eden did. Now, with Roni, her cousin, gone to who knows where, she’s different. I like this Monica. Both Hilary and Eden are gone, so maybe now with this new friendship I won’t be so lonely.
“Everything in place?” I ask Jasper, walking into his room at the clubhouse.
“Yeah, Chief Gilvaja is taking care of it. He’s got FBI coming in. I guess Satan’s has been on their radar for a while. It was only a matter of time. Anyone not in the raid will be granted immunity, since we have turned against the Pres,” he tells me.
“Where’s Mason?” I ask, worried he will be caught up in this raid. When I walked through the clubhouse, I saw a few brothers, about thirty of them. That number surprises me, because a few of them helped our Pres create this club, but I didn’t see the one brother I was looking for—Mason.
“He chose his own path. I already warned him what was going on. We’ll see,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders.
“What happens when this is all done?” I’m no pussy, but I’m afraid something will go wrong and the fall out will cost us greatly.
“I take over. Everyone will have a choice- they can either join me, or they can leave. But this club is getting a huge fuckin’ overhaul.”
“What do you plan on doing once this all goes down?” I ask him. That’s one thing we never really talked about.
“For the first bit, we’ll continue this, but by this time next year, there’ll be no more drugs, guns, nothing. After seeing the shit at the Untamed Angels compound, I want to make sure guys like that are put away. I want to open my mechanics shop, work there full-time. I’m hoping you will too. We’ll put you through school,” he says.
I nod. “Sounds good, but what about the club? Will we still be Satan’s Law?”
“No, I don’t want us to sound threatening in any way. I want to do charity drives, help kids and women, that sort of thing,” he says.
“Think that shit will fly, though?” I ask him.
He shakes his head. “Doubt most of these guys will stick around for that. Anyone that leaves, not caught up in the raid, we can hand over the strip clubs that Satan’s Law owns. That should keep ’em happy. We could even have women join.”
I burst out laughing. “Seriously? Women?”
“Yeah, you think every kid or family we save will want a bunch of gruff biker men protecting them? Think about it. The community- hell, the country will take better to us if we have women in our club.”
“I’m gonna head out. Lilly’s expecting me home,” I tell him.
“Yeah, I’m gonna head home myself. Maybe see if Monica wants to come over,” he says, getting up from his seat and heading out.
Something bad’s going down. I can feel it. Vinny has been secretive lately, but I guess I can’t really say anything about that, considering the secrets I’m keeping. He came over tonight and is acting nervous as hell. Every few minutes, he looks at the clock. It’s kinda making me feel like he doesn’t want to be here.
“Where’s my damn lighter?” he grumbles by the front door.
“Uh, pocket?” I suggest the obvious.
“Checked there. I swear to God, that’s four this week alone.” The only thing he can keep track of is his damn beanie, and that’s just because it is always on his head. He packs his smokes hard against his palm.
I chuckle. “You need to get yourself a damn nickname. I’d say loser, but that’s mean.” I laugh, teasing him.
He glares at me; gee someone is Mister Serious today. Heading into the kitchen, he lights one up from the stove burner. He comes back to the living room still brooding, glancing at his phone every second.
“What the hell crawled up your ass? Seriously, it was a joke,” I say, getting pissed. His attitude is really getting under my skin. I didn’t do anything. He’s all agitated like he can’t wait to get the fuck gone.
“Just shut the fuck up, okay. I have shit on my mind, and I don’t need your damn mouth right now,” he says, glaring at me. A few more minutes of silence pass by with him stealing glances at that damn phone. I turn on the TV, and he shuts it off. This is bullshit; he’s acting like a damn kid.
I’ve had enough. If he doesn’t want to be here… I stand up, go to the front door, and open it. “You know what? Leave. I don’t’ need to put up with this shit.”
“Fine,” he says, throwing up his hands and stomping out of the house.
I slam the door shut behind him. It’s times like this we’re toxic, and it’s been this way for years. One week, we are amazing together, but the next, we’re broken up. It’s a never ending cycle that neither one of us seem to want to break completely.
Twenty minutes after he leaves, my mom comes through the front door. “Lilly-pad,” she says, smiling sweetly at me.
“Hey, Mom. What’d you bring me?” I ask her, seeing bags of groceries in her hands.
“Oh, you know... some of this, some of that. Come to the kitchen. We can break open the wine and cook supper. Plus, I know you have pictures of those babies. I wanna see them.”
While the Shepard’s Pie is in the oven, I go to the safe I hid in the back of the coat closet and pull out my stack of photos of Jessica and Ethan. I hand them over to her when I get back to the living room.
“Wow, they are getting so big. I wish we could somehow convince Eden to come back home,” she says with a sad smile.
“Yeah, I miss Eden,” I tell her sadly.
“How are you and Vinc
ent lately?” Mom asks.
“Ugh, the usual. We’re currently off again.”
“Are you sure you want to keep doing this with him? Sweetie, I know you’ve been in love with him for years. You crushed on him when you were just a little girl, but I don’t like how he treats you,” she tells me gently.
“I know, Mom. I don’t know how to break this cycle. I love him. We always end up working it out, though.”
Mom sighs and grabs for the food. “I know, baby, but I also know there are other men out there, men that wouldn’t treat you the way he does.”
“Mom, stop, okay? Just stop,” I say, getting defensive.
“Don’t get snippy with me. I love Vincent too, but I just don’t think he’s right for you.” She gives me a harsh glare but then looks away, getting back to the food.
I clench my jaw; I know she’s right in a way, but I refuse to listen. I try to blow off her concern and take a gulp of wine.
I head over to Jasper’s place after leaving Lilly’s. I wasn’t planning on it, but the bitch pissed me off. I knock on the apartment door, and Jasper opens it a few minutes later.
He frowns. “What are you doing here? Thought you were at Lilly’s?”
I shrug. “We just broke up.”
He smirks. “Again? How long will it be like that this time? A week? A day?” he jokes. Lilly and I seem to be off more than we are on. Ever since Kayla came back, I can’t seem to stay away from her. She gives me what I seem to need when Lilly and I are in a bad place.
“Shut up, man. Let me in.” He moves out from in front of the door and shuts it behind me when I’m through. “Got an extra lighter, bro? I lost mine again.”
He shakes his head and hands me his silver lighter from the end table by the couch. “Don’t lose this one. It’s my favorite Zippo lighter,” he says, passing it to me.
“Are you sure this one ain’t mine?” I ask him, looking at the lighter that looks like the one I just lost.
“Nope, I had that one engraved, man. You also just bought yours the other day. Zippo lighters ain’t cheap. Don’t know why you don’t just go ahead and buy those cheap ones you can get at the dollar store,” he says.
“Cuz they aren’t cool. Zippos are fuckin’ cool,” I say with a shrug.
“Callin’ you Zippo, man. Seriously, you need a nickname. It’s either that or loser, since you always lose the damn things,” he says laughing.
He just reminded me of why I was pissed at Lilly. She said the same thing. I hang my head in shame.
My pride, though, my pride leads me straight to Kayla…
I pull up to the house, noticing the only light on is the upstairs bedroom. I go to the front door, use my key, and open it. She gave it to me a while ago. The first time we hooked back up was when Lilly left to go visit Hilary. I felt like shit afterwards, but it doesn’t stop me from coming back.
“Hey there, handsome,” she purrs from the top of the stairs, as if she was waiting for me. I practically run up the stairs to her, trying to escape my guilt for walking out on Lilly.
“Shut up,” I growl, pulling her into me and kissing her. I can’t stop myself. Sex with Kayla is like a drug for me. She was the first girl I ever cared about, the first girl I ever had sex with.
Her arms go around my neck as she nips and sucks on my lips. Shoving my beanie from my head, she laces her fingers in my shaggy brown hair.
“I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you, Vinny.” She begins tugging at the buckle of my belt.
I shove her down to her knees. I whip my hardening cock out, and she takes over, running her tongue over the tip. I love it when she looks up at me with my dick in her mouth. Her eyes are warm with passion. Her fingers massage my balls. I love a good blowjob as much as the next guy, but I am ready to fuck her. The shit with Lilly has long left my mind.
I push her head back, her lips making a popping sound. “Naked now. Need to be inside you.”
Kayla brushes her short, mocha-colored tresses back behind her ears as she begins to strip for me. Her perky tits are small but nice. She’s skinny, not many curves on her, but she exercises a lot and eats like a bird.
I spin her around and shove her down on the bed. She is lying on her stomach, propped up on her elbows.
“Face down, ass up.” I press down on the curve of her spine, and she complies eagerly. I settle behind her, between her thighs, and work my fingers in her tight juicy pussy. So fuckin’ tight and wet for me. I bite down on her shoulder blade as she trembles and shakes, bucking her ass up toward my throbbing cock.
I pull out a rubber, not taking any chances. Once the condom’s on, without warning, I slam into her hard and fast. This isn’t about taking my time; it’s about my need to be satisfied. I don’t really want anything more from Kayla. I don’t ever stay long enough for much other than the sex.
I pull my pants back on and look down at the woman on the bed. “Let me guess, you’ll be back together by morning?” she says, sounding upset. She should know better than to get her hopes up for more.
“Babe, you know how this works,” I say, picking my cut up off the floor and shrugging it on. “See ya,” I say, walking out.
I feel like the biggest dick in the world- using Kayla, cheating on Lilly. Well, technically, we are broken up, but I love Lilly.
I haven’t talked to Vinny in just over a week, which means this shit is eating at me. I can’t believe how mad he got when I teased him about losing his damn lighter. What the hell is going on? I drove by their clubhouse the other day, and there were cops everywhere. I tried calling Vinny, but he wouldn’t answer.
Getting sick of being ignored, I grab my purse and head out. He’s always such a stubborn asshole. Every fight is apparently my fault, which means, even if he’s in the wrong, I’m the one who has to make it right. Starting to get sick of this.
I pull up to his house, seeing the lights on, but his bike and truck aren’t the only vehicles here. I notice a grey Prius parked in front of his house. I park, blocking the end of the driveway, and head to the front door.
Knocking, I roll my sleeves up; it’s flippin’ hot out tonight. The door opens, and I’m face to face with Vinny’s mom. Shit, this woman hates me, all because the man she was dating had cheated on her with my mom, and then I was born. She’s got a screw loose. Seriously, she hates me because I look like my father. I should have known when I saw the car out front.
She glares at me, folding her arms across her chest. “What do you want?” she sneers.
“Uh, is Vinny home?” I ask, trying to look over her shoulder.
“Sure is, but you ain’t welcome here. Now leave.”
Whatever. “Fine, let Vinny know that this time, it’s one hundred percent done,” I say, clenching my teeth.
“Don’t think he’d mind that too much. Nothing but a…” I cut her off.
“Don’t know what your fuckin’ problem is with me, woman, but seriously, fuck off,” I say to her and walk away, leaving her standing in the doorway with her mouth hanging wide open.
As I take off down the road, I glance in my rear-view mirror and see Vinny running out of his house to his bike. He either heard me, or his mother finally gave him one of my messages. Either way, I don’t care.
He can’t keep doing this to me.
Pulling back into my driveway, I hear Vinny’s bike coming down the street.
I should have known when my mother came to town that it would be nothing but trouble; ranting and raving at me for joining the Satan’s Law, bitching about me still being with Lilly.
Jasper is currently acting Pres of the club, but he can’t fully take over until his dad either hands the club over or gets dead. I put a feeler out for someone that could get the job done; now it’s just waiting.
No one really knows what happened on the raid. We were told that Vic got arrested, along with forty others, and Big Willy was shot after firing at the officers making the arrest. That was good enough for us.
However, none of us have he
ard from Reaper. I swear, we should have just called him Ghost, because it suits him better. He’s completely gone; wasn’t arrested, wasn’t shot, nothing. He just vanished.
I was just getting out of the shower when I heard Lilly’s raised voice. Then my mom started her normal bitch routine with Lilly.
I should have gone to her before now. Hearing her tell my mother we were one hundred percent done did me in. We aren’t fuckin’ done.
She’s gone by the time I finish getting dressed. “Fuck!” I shout.
Mom turns to look at me and narrows her eyes. “Watch that mouth! I raised you better than that. You should be happy that damn leech is gone. She only wanted you for your money,” she sneers.
“You never fuckin’ raised me at all. As for the money, Lilly doesn’t even fuckin’ know I have it!” I growl at her. When my dad died, we learned he came from old money; left Bryce and I almost all of it. Mom had access to it since we were underage, but she more than used it just to provide for us. She used all of Bryce’s, and when she ran out, she started dipping into mine. Thankfully, I was nineteen when that started, so I went to the bank and switched accounts, putting every penny into a new account so she couldn’t touch it.
She places a hand on her chest and takes a step back. “I can’t believe you just spoke to me that way.”
“Believe it. When I get back, you better be gone. Go back to your sugar baby. You come here asking for money... What, your boy toy ain’t letting you buy twelve hundred dollar shoes every week anymore?” I say to her, storming out of the house. Mom up and left us when I was just ten. It was just me, Dad, and my older brother Bryce here fending for ourselves. She only came back when Dad was dying and had learned he had a shit load of money. She played the doting wife, taking care of him, as the cancer ate away at his body.
A few years ago, we heard from Mom that she was getting re-married, to a guy who worked on the Oil Rigs in Vancouver, and he was twenty years younger than her.
I get to Lilly’s house just as I see her slam the door shut. I jump off my bike, banging on her front door. “Let me in, Lilly-pad,” I shout through the door.
