by Zen DiPietro
She scrunched her forehead. How did she send the message? “How does a person initialize a neural implant?”
“Electrical impulses go across the fibers and activate the implant. It shouldn’t take any more effort than thinking.”
“I don’t feel like anything’s happening.” Fallon hadn’t expected to be unable to access the thing once it was installed.
“I can see activity in that part of your brain, and everything looks like it should. I have no way of knowing what you might be thinking or sending.”
“Right. That’s the whole point of a private network.” Fallon dangled her feet over the side of the techbed. “Am I allowed to stand?”
Jerin moved to offer her a hand. “Sure. Take it easy though. Standard advice—no blows to the head, no extreme exertion, tell me if you have nausea, vertigo, headaches, and all that. You’ll probably be unusually tired, but back to yourself in a day or so.”
“Yeah.” Fallon got to her feet and tested her balance. “My brain’s been sliced and diced a time or two before. This is getting to be a habit.”
“Not something to brag about.” Jerin did not seem amused.
“Probably not. But I seem fine. I guess I’ll go about my day as usual. Unless the mother planet beams a transmission from the supreme commander into my brain.”
Amusement and concern were an odd mix to smell from Brak, but Fallon took it as a good sign.
Aloud, Brak said, “Sounds like you watched old-fashioned space vids when you were growing up. I didn’t see any until I was in university and a classmate had a party with a space-vid theme.”
“They’re good fun. Who doesn’t enjoy a cheesy holo-vid now and then?”
Brak turned off the techbed, returning it to power-saving readiness. She gave Fallon a warning look. “I’ll say it again: Take it easy. Call me if you notice anything unusual, even if it seems like nothing. When will you tell everyone about this?”
“I think I’ll wait until I have proof that the network implant works. I just have to figure out how to make that happen.”
“Good luck with that,” Jerin said drily.
“I’ll do it. I have to.”
“I meant with telling your team what you’ve done. But yes, good luck with the other thing too.”
Since Fallon wasn’t eager to spend an extended amount of time with the people she was hiding something from, she finally got around to doing something she’d put off for too long.
“What can I do for you, Chief? I was just closing up.” Cabot indicated the door of his shop, then bowed. “But of course I’m happy to reopen if there’s something you need.”
“Actually, it’s something I want to do for you. I’d like to take you to dinner.”
His blink of surprise made her smile. “I’d be delighted. And since the shop is closed for the evening, I’m available whenever you like.”
“How about now?”
“Perfect.” He gave her a wink. “Where were you thinking we’d go?”
“Wherever you like.”
“How about the Tea Leaf? I’ve had a craving for nut milk tea all afternoon.”
“Zerellian, or Bennite?” she asked.
“Zerellian. The Bennite is good too, but tends to put me to sleep.”
“The Tea Leaf it is.”
“You know,” he said as they walked along, “if you were Rescan, you’d offer me your wrist.”
“Offer it for what?”
Cabot chuckled. “Like this.” He held his arm, palm up, in front of him. “I’d rest my palm on your wrist, and this would indicate that you are giving me the honor of acting as my host.”
“Interesting. I’ve never heard of that.”
“Oh, no one cares about Rescan traditions. Not even Rescans.”
“It’s come to my attention recently that I haven’t done enough to experience other people’s ways of living. So here.” She lifted her arm as he’d demonstrated, offering him her wrist.
A slow smile spread across his face. “Chief, you continue to surprise me.”
He rested his hand lightly on her wrist, and they proceeded that way. Fallon had to admit, it made her feel more stately. She wasn’t sure that would help her in life, but at least she was keeping an open mind.
Day shift had only just ended, and soon the Tea Leaf would fill with diners or people just relaxing with a cup of Baronian chamomile. For the moment, the café was fairly quiet. They chose a secluded table in a corner and perused their menuboards.
Fallon quickly selected a sandwich, cold cucumber soup, and a pot of Japanese green tea. Cabot considered his options for a little longer before making his selections. As he set his menuboard aside, he smiled at her.
“I’m so glad you invited me.” He folded his hands together on the table.
“So am I. I meant to do it sooner, but I’ve been caught up in recent events.”
He nodded knowingly, which made her wonder about his perspective on said events. “What’s the general feeling on the station? Are people anxious? Fearful?”
“There’s certainly more anxiety than usual. An air of nervous excitement. PAC command going into seclusion has only happened a few times, and never in the past century. So of course it’s going to stir people up. But overall, I’d say there’s a…” The corners of his mouth drew down thoughtfully. “An overabundance of faith that things will work out. People are more fascinated than they are frightened.”
“That’s good to know. Why do you think the faith is excessive? You don’t believe the PAC is strong enough to overcome a threat?”
He smiled, but it was a world-weary expression rather than a happy one. “I pay attention to the galaxies, Chief. Our own and all the others within communication distance. I’m also a student of history. I know all too well that no government lasts forever. All societies go through periods of governmental demise and renewal. Most of the time, they end up better for it, but living through the change can be painful—or fatal, for millions of people. So I look at an event like this as, perhaps, the tip of the asteroid. The harbinger of a new era.”
“That’s surprisingly pessimistic of you. I always saw you as someone who had more faith in happy endings.”
“Happy endings happen all the time. But so do tragic ones. It isn’t pessimism, Chief, it’s realism. Is your outlook so different?”
She lifted her chin in acknowledgement. “No, but I’ve seen more bad than most people. I’m hardwired to look for undesirable outcomes so I can try to prevent them.”
“And that’s part of why I like you so much.” His smile returned. “You’re one of the good ones, the idealists fighting to make things better for everyone.”
She shrugged off his praise. “It’s only part idealism.”
“What’s the other part?”
“Hedonism. It’s what makes me feel alive.”
His eyes crinkled with delight. “See? You’re a self-aware realist, like me.”
A server arrived carrying their order on a tray, then carefully laid out each dish in front of them before retreating.
Fallon reached for her teapot but Cabot rested his hand on it first. “Shall I?” he asked. “As I understand it, it’s polite to pour your tea for you.”
“I didn’t realize you were familiar with Japanese etiquette. Thank you.” She watched tendrils of steam curl and waft away as he poured.
“I used to deal with a Japanese trader. Very traditional fellow. I found that I got much better deals when I observed his etiquette impeccably.” He gave her a cheeky grin.
She poured his tea for him. “Funny. Not many people adhere to those traditions. Only on formal occasions back on Earth.”
“That’s what I like about what I do. I see so much variety. There’s always something new and interesting right around the corner.”
She’d always wondered about his background, and this seemed like an excellent opportunity to ask. “Do you come from a family of traders?”
“No. Believe it or not, my parents a
re scholars on the homeworld. They teach at university. But I knew early on that I wanted to have a front-row seat to everything going on in the galaxies. And I happened to have a knack for business that my parents never did. So here I am.”
She smiled. “Well, I’m glad. I’ve valued your friendship greatly.”
He leaned forward. “Shh. Don’t say that too loudly. If anyone asks, I’m going to tell them that I’m trying to broker a deal between you and the manufacturers of a brand-new type of security scanner. A person in my line of business doesn’t admit to making friends.” His ale-brown eyes twinkled.
“Your secret’s safe with me.” She smiled and sipped her tea, careful not to burn her mouth.
“I don’t doubt it.” He picked up a bite-sized crustacean and popped it into his mouth.
“There are a lot of secrets around here lately.” Her words were light and conversational, but she fixed him with a meaningful look.
“There are always secrets. Some are just more important to a larger number of people.”
“Should we trade secrets?” She raised her eyebrows in a challenge.
“Oh, I never trade secrets,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Bad for business.”
“I see.”
He leaned forward and whispered, “I would consider sharing a confidence with a friend, though. But I’d never pry if my friend wasn’t ready to share in return.”
“So your friend would need to speak up,” she translated.
“Of course.” He ate another crustacean.
That sounded like he had some help to offer if she asked the right question. Or prompted the right one.
She bit into her sandwich, thinking as she chewed. He probably suspected something about the recent goings-on, but would never ask her about it. Yet she couldn’t answer his question without knowing what it was.
“Is there something about recent events that has you troubled?”
His eyes gleamed. He understood that she was offering information. “Now that you mention it, I’ve been concerned about a rumor I heard. Just a rumor, mind you, but sometimes these things stick in your mind and take root. So I’ve been wondering if it’s possible that your job might be in jeopardy. You know we’d hate to lose you here.”
But he wasn’t talking about her job on Dragonfire, and they both knew it. He was asking whether she was part of what was going on with Jamestown and PAC command.
“I have absolutely no intention of leaving here. Anyone who tries to give me a new assignment will get an earful. I’ve invested a great deal in this station, and I’m going to see it through.”
In other words, yes, she was fighting against someone in PAC command and intended to take him down. She watched him to see if he understood. As coded messages went, it was pretty shrouded.
“I’m glad to hear it. As it happens, I’m owed a few favors that I could always call in, if there’s something that might be helpful to you. I’ve come to think of this station as my home, and I’d be happy to invest in it.”
She smiled. She wasn’t sure what he was capable of, but it was an interesting suggestion. “If something comes up, I’ll be sure to let you know. I appreciate the offer.”
“Least I can do, Chief. I hope I can be of service.”
She refilled his teacup and changed the subject. “After we’re done here, would you like to take a walk in the arboretum? I’d love to hear more about Rescan traditions.”
“I’d be delighted. Although, the last time we enjoyed the arboretum, it didn’t end so pleasantly.”
Understanding passed between them. He knew that the man who had attacked her was connected to what was going on with PAC command. She’d killed the man, then later found out that he was a BlackOp from a different unit. Once she’d regained her memories, she’d realized that Granite had once been her friend. She still had a lot of scores to settle, and Cabot knew it.
“All the more reason to go and have a pleasant time. We have to take the good times where we can get them.”
“Yes.” He looked sad for a moment, then shook it off with an easy smile. “A walk sounds delightful. I’ll tell you about Rescan wedding traditions. There are a few things that might surprise you.”
“I look forward to hearing about them.”
The leisurely walk through the arboretum proved to be remarkably enjoyable. Fallon smelled flowers, admired trees, and learned about Rescan society. Plus, Cabot seemed awfully pleased to talk about his people. There’d been no more coded conversation—they’d simply enjoyed their time together as friends.
She felt relaxed as she walked down the corridor to her quarters, then changed her mind and went two doors farther. She touched the chime.
“Hi.” Lim seemed surprised to see her. “Something wrong?”
“No. I thought I’d see how you were doing.”
They settled in the common living space of the quarters, which was nearly a mirror to her own.
“Okay, considering I may never get my past back.” He made himself comfortable and seemed thoughtful, but not depressed.
“Yeah. I know how much that sucks. I faced that same possibility.” She related her experience to him, while leaving out a lot of personal details and her revelations about Blackout.
He seemed deeply thoughtful. “What would you have done if you’d never gotten your memory back?”
“I’d have kept on with what I’d been doing. Your lack of memory doesn’t mean you’re less of a person. You still have your whole life ahead of you.”
“But what does that look like?” he asked. “What can I do? I don’t know where I belong.”
“What can you do?” she countered. “You tell me.”
“Math. Kellis seemed impressed when I showed her. She said with skills like that, I could get any number of jobs, wherever I wanted to go. The trouble is, where would I want to go?”
Fallon nodded, but said nothing. She wanted him to keep talking. Hearing his own words might help him figure himself out. She’d suggested he visit Grayith Barlow for some professional counseling, but so far Lim had been uninterested in that. Truthfully, she didn’t blame him. She wasn’t much for counseling, herself. She either worked things through on her own or talked them out with those closest to her.
After a long pause, he spoke again. “Is it foolish to hope I can recover some part of my old self? There was something that allowed me to remember enough to escape, and maybe the tissue regeneration will…I don’t know. Give me a chance, somehow.”
“What do you mean? About remembering enough to escape?”
“Well, I don’t know how long I was in that place, but I got the impression that it had been a while. I got angry at how I was being treated and that should have made it harder for me to think things through, but I felt more alert when I was mad. More capable. And when I felt like they were about to kill me or something, I fought back. I had these bits of information in my head that I couldn’t remember learning. A security code, how to use an emergency kit to force open bay doors, the way through the station. Stuff like that. It was like I’d saved the specific memories I’d need to escape.”
“Wait, those memories were from before that day? I thought they were all from your last day there, before you escaped. Did you tell Brak about this?”
He looked embarrassed. “No. She’d already told me that my brain didn’t have the necessary parts to store those memories. I didn’t want her to think I was lying about how I escaped.”
She tamped down her impatience by reminding herself of how paranoid she’d been—and rightfully so—when she’d had no memories. “You can trust her, and I promise she won’t think you’re lying. We need to take this to her right away.”
“Wren said you’d say that.” His voice held amusement and embarrassment.
That made her pause. “You talked to Wren about this?”
“She’s been visiting me the last couple days. She’s really easy to talk to. I told her about those flashes of memory and she told me that I needed
to tell you.”
“Well, she was right. I don’t know what it means, but it must mean something.”
“It’s kind of late,” he said. “Shouldn’t we wait until morning?”
“Nope.” She pointed at the door. “I promise you, Brak would kick my ass if I knew about this and didn’t tell her, even for a few hours.”
“You’re sure she won’t think I’m lying?”
“Yes. Besides, she’s Briveen. If you were lying, she’d be able to smell it.”
“Really?” His eyes got big.
“Yep. Let’s go.”
Brak clicked her teeth in agitation. “I wouldn’t have thought you were lying about remembering things. We need to get to the infirmary, now.”
Lim’s voice grew small. “You think I’m in danger?”
“No. But I don’t want to wait until tomorrow to figure this out.”
Since Brak still had temporary guest quarters on Deck One, the trip to the infirmary didn’t take long. Once there, Brak waved distractedly to the medical staff on duty and tersely explained that she needed the private room for her patient.
Fallon was impressed. She’d never seen Brak so driven. She backed into the corner of the room and made herself unobtrusive.
Brak guided Lim to the techbed. “Remain still. I don’t need to use restraints unless you get fidgety. Let me get a functional scan set up.” She paused on her way to the controls. “Don’t worry. This won’t hurt.”
“But…you already did a functional scan,” Lim said hesitantly. “What is there to see that you haven’t already?”
“I was focusing on your long-term and short-term memories, which are stored in different locations. This time I’m going to look at your entire brain.”
Lim seemed to want to ask more questions, but he fell silent. His obvious confusion brought Fallon out of the corner and to his side. She laced her fingers through his and smiled at him. It was an odd feeling for her to be so familiar with someone she barely knew. But it was something Wren would have done, which told her it was the right thing to do.
He smiled back, and the worry eased from his face.
“Okay.” Brak moved to where Lim could see her. She handed him an infoboard. “I want you to look at the images that appear. Each one will remain for a few seconds, then be replaced by another. Just relax and think whatever you want to think when you look at them.”
