by Zen DiPietro
Fallon watched him look at pictures of animals, planets, body parts, blood, faces of people wearing various expressions and engaged in a variety of activities. Finally, instead of a picture, the sound of instrumental music came from the board.
“Fallon, please tell him something about your experiences of memory loss. How it felt, how you dealt with it. Something along those lines.” Brak stared at the techbed display.
“Uh, sure.” Fallon thought back to when she’d woken up with no memory. “When I didn’t know what was going on, I was on alert. Paranoid. I was willing to do whatever I had to do in order to get my life back. That hole inside of me made me feel like there was far more of me missing than whatever I had left.”
Lim nodded and she continued, “I know our situations are different, but your past isn’t the most valuable thing about you. Your future is far more important. Everything you do tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. You still have all that ahead of you. And you already have friends. So no matter what these tests show, there’s a lot of good stuff still to come. Okay?”
He smiled. “Yeah. Thanks.”
After a long silence Brak said, “Lim, please think about your escape from that station. Step by step, from the moment you first thought of getting away.”
Lim closed his eyes, and his mouth tightened.
Brak muttered something in Briveen, then growled. A moment later she growled again. Fallon looked at Lim’s curious expression and shrugged. Brak’s scents and body language were all muddled into an odd mix, making them difficult for her to interpret.
Finally, Brak left the controls to face Lim. “So we discussed brain anatomy before. That the memory cortex involves a number of different structures in the brain, which is why your long-term memory could be wiped and leave your short-term memory intact. It also explains why you might retain some skills and cultural awareness.”
Lim nodded.
“You’re missing nearly everything memory related in your frontal and temporal lobes except for your amygdala—which is the emotion center of the brain.”
She paused and Lim said, “Okay.” He looked entirely mystified.
“Both of you, come back here and take a look at Lim’s amygdala.” Brak waved them toward the techbed controls.
Fallon watched two almond-shaped blobs display a flashing sequence of activity.
“That’s what it looked like when Lim thought about his escape. Any other time, his amygdala exhibited normal activity. It seems like Lim used his fear and desperation, or whatever he was feeling at the time, to imprint specific high-emotion information into his amygdala. It’s brilliant. He hid a message to himself in his own brain.”
A strong cinnamon aroma wafted around Fallon. She’d never smelled cinnamon from Brak before. Clearly she was incandescently happy. Ecstatic.
“I’ve never seen anything like it. This is fantastic!” Brak patted Lim on the back as if congratulating him.
“Uh. Thanks?” Lim seemed underwhelmed. “I’m guessing this doesn’t change my memory situation, though.”
Brak toned down her enthusiasm. “No. But it could open up new avenues in the study of memory. Imagine if we could intentionally load our own brains with memory engrams. We could make certain we’d never forget something truly important. And this could lead to new therapies for memory-destroying diseases.”
Brak pressed her hand to her chest, looking emotional.
And Fallon thought she loved her work. “Did you need us for anything else?”
Brak pulled herself together. “No. But thank you both. I know this doesn’t help your situation, Lim, but you’ve made a significant contribution to science.”
He lifted his shoulder and let it drop, in a noncommittal gesture that looked a lot like the Briveen sign for contrition. “I’m glad if it helps someone. But for my own sake, it’s nice to know that I have friends who will believe me if I say something crazy.”
“Of course we believe you,” Brak said. “As to the upgrade to your new implant, I’ll be ready to do that tomorrow. Noon, if that works for you.”
“Well, it’s ahead of schedule. Can’t say I’m sorry for it to be sooner rather than later.” Lim smiled weakly.
“How about we go by the pub and I buy you a drink?” Fallon offered, giving his shoulder a pat.
“Sure, if I’m allowed to drink before brain surgery.” Lim laughed.
Brak nodded distractedly and gave them a “go” gesture. Fallon suspected she’d work all night.
“All right. Let’s see what you think of Zerellian ale.”
9
Lim was not at all an ale person. After a cautious taste, he grimaced and asked, “Is there something that doesn’t taste like sour, burning water?”
On a hunch, Fallon ordered him a Sarkavian brandy.
“Ahh. Now that’s good.” Lim wiped his mouth on a napkin with satisfaction. “It’s strange, not even knowing what I like.”
“I remember that. I ended up eating a rastor dumpling, only to find I absolutely hate them. It was like rotten dirty socks with a spicy sauce.”
“I’ll stay clear.” Lim chuckled.
“Never know. They might be your favorite.”
He sighed. “Yeah. I guess so. I’m going to have to try everything to see if I like it or not.”
“Yep. But look at the bright side. You get to try everything.” She smiled at him.
“Another good point.” He took a drink of his brandy, seeming more upbeat.
A moment later, he asked, “You’re going to take down the guy who did this to me, right?”
Fallon stared at him thoughtfully.
“What?” he asked, looking nervous.
“You saw him, right? The admiral who ordered this stuff be done to you? And you remember what he looks like?” With everything else going on, she’d failed to clamp onto that detail.
“Yeah.”
She yanked her comport off her belt and pulled up an image of Colb, and one of Krazinski. One of her father too, to add another face to the mix. She handed her comport to Lim. “Is it one of these guys?”
“That one.” His finger pointed to the one on the far right.
Her breath caught.
She’d never felt so validated as when she saw him pointing at Colb. So it had been him all along. She’d been sure of it, but in this world of hers, full of twists and turns and betrayals, it felt good to have actual visual confirmation.
“I’m buying you another brandy.”
Lim turned out to be a lightweight, returning to his quarters early, so Fallon called Hawk. She expected him to turn her down, but he quickly agreed to come meet her in the pub. She had a whisky waiting for him when he arrived.
“That’s the girl I love,” he said, tossing the whisky back all at once. “Could have gotten two, though. I see you’ve had a head start on me.”
“Yeah. Well. I figured if I had enough drinks, it might activate my brain.”
He laughed. “I’m pretty sure alcohol works the opposite way, but even if it didn’t, why start now?”
She elbowed him. “In other news, our new friend confirmed that our old friend, who is no longer our friend, is definitely not our friend.”
“I think I actually understood that. Which means I’m ordering two more whiskies.”
A good-looking guy walked past their table a little too slowly with his eyes fastened on Hawk. She recognized him as an entry-level maintenance worker. Some message passed between him and Hawk, and his pace increased once he passed the table.
“New pal?” she asked.
“You know me. A regular social butterfly.”
“Right. You’re a people person.” She smirked.
Normally, they would have continued on with the witty repartee, insulting each other until one of them issued a challenge of some kind. Hawk pursed his lips thoughtfully. “What’s bothering you? I’m guessing you didn’t invite me here just to shoot the shit.”
She sighed, frowning into her cup.
He was right. She needed to confide in someone, and he was the one she leaned on in such situations. “I did a semi-reckless thing and so far it hasn’t done shit for me. I kind of thought I’d have some big holo-vid moment that would have me solving everything, so we could get back out there where we belong—zooming through the stars, blowing shit up, and winning one for the good guys.”
He squinted at her empty glass. “How many have you had?”
“Not enough.” She punched an order for another into her menuboard.
“So what did you do?” he asked. “I have a feeling this is going to be a good one.”
She thought for a long moment before speaking. He watched her, patiently waiting.
“Do you remember that time on the Verthain moon?” she asked. “We were tracking that woman but her trail went cold. You headed to the bar, got entirely piss drunk, and when I came to find you, we both almost got turned into hamburger?”
He closed one eye, peering at her. “What’s your point?”
“I saved our asses and promised never to tell anyone about it. Remember?”
“Ya. I remember.”
“I’m cashing that one in.”
“Oh Prelin’s ass, what have you done now?” He grimaced.
“Well, it’s possible that I might have had Brak put something in my head so I can find our missing friend.” She wasn’t about to mention Krazinski’s name in public.
“Are you kidding me?”
“No.”
Instead of cursing a stream of inventive filth, he laughed. “You are so screwed. Raptor and Peregrine are going to be pissed.”
“Not if I can come up with the break we need. Success comes with a lot of forgiveness.”
“And how’s that working for you?”
“I’ve got nothing,” she admitted. “I don’t even know how to activate it.”
He laughed again. “Yep. Screwed.”
She sighed. “You could stop being delighted and try to help me find a solution.”
“Count your blessings. I’d be livid right now if you hadn’t cashed in your Verthain chip and I didn’t have three whiskies in me.”
“Four,” she corrected.
“Whatever.”
She scowled at him.
“Look,” he said. “First, I’d need to actually know exactly what you’re talking about. And since I’m no tech wizard, I probably can’t help anyway. Unless you need me to break your brain out of jail or something.”
“Maybe I do. It hasn’t been doing anything helpful.”
“All right.” He finished his drink. “Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“Your quarters.”
“Why?” She’d never known Hawk to leave a bar this early.
“So you can tell me what we’re talking about, and we can try to figure it out so you don’t get your ass kicked by Peregrine and Raptor.”
“Fine.” She slid off her bar stool.
“You have drinks at your place, right?”
It didn’t take long to get Hawk up to speed.
He jiggled his nearly empty glass, causing ice to clink against the sides. Frowning, he watched the cubes tumble around. “Like you said, we have to assume you’re supposed to be able to use the network. It’s designed for two-way traffic, right?”
“Yeah. And believe me, I’ve tried everything I can think of. Closing my eyes and imagining my brain, picturing the thing working, and all that. I might have strained my face a little just trying.”
“We need the password for the drawbridge.”
“The what?” Fallon decided she’d water down Hawk’s next drink. He was no good to her if he got all-out drunk and started talking nonsense.
“It’s a joke based on an old fairy tale. Not important. We just need to find the trigger.”
“Believe me, I’ve tried. I’ve been tempted to bang my head on the wall to see if that would work.”
“I could always punch you in the head, if that would help,” he offered.
She fixed him with a glare. “It’s amazing how many times in recent months my teammates have cheerfully offered to brain me.”
He grinned at her. “Outside of that, I dunno. Brak didn’t think she could activate the thing mechanically? Maybe some type of electronic pulse?”
“She tried numerous things before implanting it. She said it required actual brain waves.”
“Okay.” He tried taking another swig of his drink, only to remember it was already empty when an ice cube bonked him in the nose. He set the glass aside. “So how about ways you can use your brain that you usually don’t?”
“What, like doing theoretical physics or something? It can’t be anything too obscure. Krazinski expects us to figure it out.”
Hawk rubbed his beard as he thought. He was due for a trim, so he mussed his facial hair in a way that made him look like a deranged badger. “Okay. When your memory was missing, I did a lot of reading. I read about a thing called brain wave entrainment. It’s the electrical response in the brain caused by some rhythmic stimulus, like sound or light or touch. What if there’s a stimulus that can create the specific brain wave needed to activate the network implant?”
Fallon stared at him in surprise. She’d wanted him to help her brainstorm, but hadn’t expected him to say anything so on point.
“What? I’m too dumb to have learned stuff?” He rolled his eyes comically.
“No, I just hadn’t realized you’d researched that stuff. The entrainment thing makes sense.” She bit her top lip, thinking. “What type of stimulus would it be? Something Krazinski would expect us to associate with communication.”
A thought occurred to her and gelled into an idea. Answering her own question, she said, “A hail. A hailing frequency.”
Hawk’s gaze locked onto hers. “Yeah. Yeah!”
“So…how do I experience a hailing frequency in some sensory way?”
He pushed the voicecom display toward her. “I bet Brak knows.”
She leaned close to him and raked her fingers through his beard, so he no longer looked like a disheveled woolly mammoth.
“What?” he asked. “Did I have food caught in there again?”
“Gross. No, I was just fixing your face. It was all mussed up.”
“Oh, okay. Now call your friend so we can go fix your brain.”
“That’s an intriguing idea,” Brak said. “And easy to implement. I can create an audio representation of a hailing frequency. After you’ve heard it, simply remembering it should be all you need. I would not have thought of using entrainment in this way. What made you think of it?” Brak gazed at Hawk as if seeing him for the first time.
Hawk shrugged. “I’d like to pretend I’m a man of many hidden depths, with genius being among them. But the truth is, it’s one of the few things that stuck with me after reading all that brain stuff.”
“Given the specificity of a hailing frequency, it would be nearly impossible to accidentally experience that sensory sequence. It’s quite clever.”
“If it works,” Fallon put in.
“If it works,” Brak agreed.
“It’ll work,” Hawk insisted. When they both looked at him, he shrugged. “I’m trying on optimism, as a change of pace.”
“When can we try the frequency?” Fallon asked.
“Tomorrow afternoon, right after Lim’s surgery,” Brak said.
“You won’t need time to rest?”
“Are you kidding? It’s going to be like a hatch-day celebration, but better.”
Fallon had to smile. “You’re the only person I know who likes her work as much as we do.” She glanced at Hawk and thought of Peregrine. “Well, as much as we usually do. Recent events notwithstanding.”
“There’s a lot to be said for doing what you love,” Brak agreed. “Now you two need to let me sleep so my mind will be fresh tomorrow.”
Out in the corridor, Hawk looked down at Fallon. “You’d better hope she makes that thing work. Otherwise you’re going to
have to tell Raptor, Peregrine, and Nevitt what you did, and not have a thing to show for it.”
Fallon grimaced. She just had to hope tomorrow proved to be a successful day.
Fallon stood with Brak and Jerin in the private room of the infirmary. She watched Lim’s young, guileless face as he slept, vividly remembering her own surgeries. In a way, he was more like her than anyone, and she wanted more for him than just a successful surgery. She hoped she’d someday get to help him discover his past, and forge a future too. But first she had to sort out the present.
Brak remained at the techbed controls, watching the readouts. Finally, she nodded to Jerin.
Jerin touched his hand. “Lim? Lim, can you hear me?”
His head turned. “Yeah. I’m here.” He sounded slightly groggy, but aware. His eyes opened and focused on them.
“Everything went well,” Jerin explained. “More successfully than I’d anticipated, actually. I was able to regenerate ninety percent of the brain tissue that had been removed.”
“Ninety percent of the man I used to be. Not too bad.” Lim’s smile was crooked.
“The anesthetic is lingering a little,” Brak reported. “I’m going to wait it out. Given the tissue regeneration, I don’t want to give him a stimulant.”
“Agreed.” Jerin returned her attention to Lim. “How are you feeling?”
His eyes became more focused. “Fine, I guess. Maybe a little nauseated?”
“We’ll give you something for that.” Jerin nodded to Brak. “Otherwise? Any headache?”
“Not exactly. The light’s bothering me a little.”
“That’s normal, and will pass in a day or two. I recommend you spend the time resting in your quarters. You’ll be tired. You might have some balance issues in the short term but your brain will figure itself out remarkably quickly.” Jerin smiled at him encouragingly.
“So it went well?” He seemed unaware that he was repeating what had already been said.
