Aggro: An Emotional Forbidden Romance

by CoraLee June

  I started mentally going through a list of things babies needed. Shit, should I buy a minivan? Babies couldn’t sit safely in Mercedes convertibles. I’d also need a crib at my house for when the little noodle came over. Clothes, too. And bottles. And toys. Oh shit, I was definitely buying the lot next door and building a house. Uncle Chase was gonna be there for everything. Every fucking thing. I wouldn’t be like my asshole parents. God help this child if she’s a girl. Dates? Hah! No way that’s happening. Oh god, I’m going to vomit. This was a lot of responsibility. How was Kai not completely shitting his pants?

  “Oh, I’m totally freaking out,” Kai said with a grin.

  “Shit. Did I say that out loud?” I asked.

  “Yes,” Breeze replied with an easy roll of her eyes. “And if you’re buying the lot next door, you better have that house built before the baby comes, because I don’t want to deal with hammering all day when we have a napping infant.”

  “I’ll get it done ASAP,” I promised. Hell, I’d park Kai’s old bus there if I had to. “You’d be cool with that, though? Me moving next door?”

  “You’re here all the time as it is,” Kai deadpanned. “Might as well save the gas money.”

  “And I won’t say no to having a sitter close by, though you might have to fight my mom for time with the baby,” Breeze added.

  “I’m going to be an uncle,” I choked out. I wasn’t trying to be an emotional idiot, but it was something that hit me deep. I couldn’t help but think of Violet and her baby, and how I would have been just as excited for her and Sebastian.

  Kai grabbed me and gave me a good old-fashioned bro hug. I tried not to get tears on his shirt, but whatever, I was fucking happy. “Congrats, guys. I’m really happy for you.”

  I had a family. I had everything I ever wanted.

  Now, I just needed Sophia.

  Epilogue

  Allison Shirley

  The Night of Violet’s Murder

  I wasn’t the type of woman to snoop through my husband’s phone. I wanted to trust him, I really did. We had years of a deep, profound love that survived loss, infertility, college, late night shifts at the hospital, and ramen noodle dinners because we couldn’t afford anything else.

  It made me sick to doubt him, but things had been so distant between us. He hadn’t touched me in months, and not for lack of trying. I ached for him. I teased him in the shower. I stripped naked, baring my body with a smirk. He barely glanced my way. Once upon a time, we had a fairy tale romance. He swept me off my feet. Maybe this was what happened to couples. Maybe we were just at that inevitable stage of marriage where passion was something you scheduled for birthdays and holidays.

  Or maybe there was something else.

  Brian left his cell here while working at the shop. I wondered if he did it on purpose. Maybe this was his way of telling me.

  It was too easy to find the message app they used. It was too painful to read the dirty texts. I sobbed, drenching the screen of his phone with my tears. I couldn’t imagine this was happening. Twenty-one years of marriage down the drain. And with Violet Jones? She was a beautiful girl, but she was a girl nonetheless.

  I’d known her since she was three years old. Brian and I practically raised her and Chase since their parents were selfish absentees that couldn’t be bothered to participate in their children’s lives. Was my husband a predator? A pervert? A...a pedophile? I could have crushed his phone in my fist. How could he do this to me? I knew that Violet had been lingering at our house when Breeze was gone more. I figured she was just lonely. Maybe occasionally she looked at Brian. I thought her flirty eyes were harmless. My husband was attractive, of course. Young girls were prone to fantasies that never came to fruition.

  But this was one fantasy that crossed the line.

  He was mine. Brian was my husband. My fucking husband. I hated her. I pitied her. I wanted to claw her eyes out and give her a hug. I wanted answers.

  A message came through.

  Violet: Baby, I’m in the woods. Can you come get me please? Cops broke up our party.

  My chest constricted tighter. Baby? He used to hate it when I used pet names with him. Did he like hearing her soft voice calling him that? Who was this man?

  Violet: Brian? I need you. Please.

  Violet: I know we were fighting about the baby, but I made an appointment. We can go back to normal. I won’t push you anymore. I promise. Please.

  A baby? A fucking baby? Blinding rage struck me at those simple words. For years Brian and I tried. We desperately wanted a second baby. After failed treatments, traumatizing miscarriages, and pain that still haunted me, we gave up on the idea of having another.

  Violet was giving my husband what I couldn’t in more ways than one, and the thought of that cut deeper than the betrayal of his affair. But what did she mean she made an appointment? Would she not be raising the child I tried and failed to create? Brian and I had wanted another one so fucking badly. How could he do this with someone else? Was she going to terminate it?

  I needed answers. I needed to talk to Violet. Maybe I could help her. It would kill me—it would end me. But I was no stranger to being the martyr. Hadn’t I been working doubles at the hospital to fund my husband’s dreams? Hadn’t I given him everything?

  I typed my response without thinking. She replied immediately.

  Brian: I’m coming to get you. Stay put.

  Violet: Thank you. I love you so much.

  Love. This child didn’t know what love was. Her own parents abandoned her. Did my husband prey on her because she was easy? Lonely? Was she a victim in this, or was she the one that shamelessly pioneered the wrongness of it all for the sake of feeling something? I wordlessly tied my hair up. I could talk to Violet. I could figure this out. Tears streamed down my cheeks. My chest constricted. So much. It was so much.

  I started walking through the grove that connected our house to the Joneses’, knowing Violet was there. My fists were clenched. My heart raced. My tears dried up, and rage spurred each step. How could he do this to me? How could she? My husband made a vow, but Violet was like a daughter to me. Did she have remorse?

  Blue lights flashed in the distance, burning brighter the closer I got. I looked for Violet, smiling when I saw her crying against the base of a tree. The night sky and thick greenery hid me from view. I watched her sob for a moment, shamefully reveling in her pain. I wanted her to feel what I was feeling. I knew it was wrong, but my world was destroyed because of this girl. My daughter would never be the same. My marriage would never be the same.

  “Wh-who’s there?” she asked. “Brian, is that you?”

  With a deep breath, I stepped closer, forcing a smile when her pretty little mouth popped open in shock. “Mrs. Shirley?” she asked while scrambling to stand up. Her movements were slow. It didn’t take a genius to know she was drunk. Her sluggish, swayed movements and the smell of alcohol were proof enough. She was always so destructive. Did Brian like broken things? I’d always been the strong one in our family. Always taking on the load of responsibilities because that’s what you did when you loved someone. Maybe that’s what pushed him away. He wanted to feel like the hero for once. He wanted to feel like a man. I’m sure it was emasculating to know he couldn’t provide for our family.

  “You’ve been fucking my husband,” I said. It was a stark statement. Like a punch. I should have eased into it, but that anger was still there. Violet had the good sense to recoil at my harsh words. I couldn’t force myself to feel regret. That anger burned, burned, burned. A single candle now a blazing inferno. She shivered.

  “I-I’m so sorry. I never—”

  “Shut the fuck up!” I yelled, shocking myself.

  I stalked closer, and she shied away from me. Shit. I meant to come here to help her, not scare her. I couldn’t help it though. I was just so fucking mad.

  “Why did you do this?” I asked. “Is it because nobody loves little Violet Jones? I love you. Or at least I did. You were lik
e a daughter to me, Violet.”

  She started sobbing harder. The salty tears traveling down her cheeks weren’t enough. I wanted her to suffer. I wanted her to feel pain. “I’m so sorry,” she cried out while clutching her stomach. That swift maternal move made me even madder. Oh yes, she was pregnant. She also reeked of booze. I fought to have life growing in my belly, and she had the audacity to drown it in alcohol? How could she?

  “You’re pregnant,” I said.

  Violet crumbled. She sobbed harder than ever before, curling in on herself as she moaned and choked on emotion. “I’m so sorry. I won’t keep it, I promise. I’m going to terminate the baby soon. I-I just had to wait until I was eighteen—”

  “Terminate? You want to get rid of it?” I asked. Anger. Fury. So much pain.

  “Breeze doesn’t have to know. No one has to know. I won’t see him again. It’ll be like the baby never happened. Like the affair never happened.”

  My mind snapped. “I’ll know it happened!” I yelled before tackling her to the ground. She barely fought me off. I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or her lack of fight. I grabbed a nearby fallen branch and pressed it against her neck while holding her down with my body. The wood dug into my palms. It was an out of body experience that happened in a flash, but also seemed to go on forever. I knew how long it would take. I smiled when her eyes rolled back. I laughed maniacally when her lips turned blue. Feeling her body go slack was like nirvana. My muscles burned from the exertion. I breathed through the pain and got high off watching her die. She fought, but it wasn’t enough.

  One second passed.

  Two.

  Too still. Violet Jones was too still.

  My vision focused.

  Reality crashed into me. I sat in the leaves, breathing heavily and staring at her body. Oh my God. “What have I done?” I whispered before grabbing the branch and throwing it as hard as I could into a pile of sticks. “Oh my God. I killed her.” My trembling fingers ached to feel her pulse, like the nurse I was, but I snapped them back before making contact.

  Fingerprints. They would find me. They would know. Everything would come out. Brian would be arrested for fucking an underaged girl, and I would spend a lifetime behind bars because I killed her. Breeze would be all alone.

  I stood up and backed away. I couldn’t do this. I killed her. I fucking killed her!

  I stared at her for a long moment before stealing her cell phone and covering her body with dirt and leaves. This was bad. This was so bad. I couldn’t carry her back with me.

  I gave her one last look before turning and sprinting home. I had to fix this.

  After driving in a numb haze for a couple of hours, I decided that I couldn’t hide any longer. It was almost sunrise when I arrived at the surf shop. My husband had started sleeping here a while ago. It was one of the first signs that he was cheating. Using my key, I opened the door and stumbled inside. Everything within me shook with the adrenaline, grief, and terror I felt. I couldn’t believe I’d done this. How would I cover my tracks? I spent the drive here thinking of an alibi. Being the charge nurse had its perks. My daughter would assume I was working late again. It would be easy to put my name on the schedule. Working in the ER was finally paying off. I could assign myself to an isolated patient. No one would be the wiser.

  Brian looked so peaceful on his bed. His shirt had risen up some, revealing his chiseled abs. I briefly wondered if Violet ran her tongue over the hard grooves of his muscles. Violet. Poor Violet. Her cold body flashed across my mind. I did this. I killed her. I clenched my fist, then sighed.

  “Brian!” I cried out before shaking him. “Brian, please wake up.” More tears streamed down my cheeks. I let the pain and devastation of his betrayal wash over me like a wave. Would he hate me for what I’d done? Would he grieve her? What would happen to our marriage? His eyes snapped open, and he took in my crying form. The guilt hit him almost immediately. He knew why I was here. Or at least he thought he did.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked in his sleepy voice. I fished through my pockets and handed him both his and Violet’s phones. He looked down at them and groaned. “You know. How’d you get her phone?”

  I ignored his question. I couldn’t answer him yet. My sanity was flickering in and out of focus. “How could you? I’ve always loved you. Supported your dreams. I worked hard for you to buy this shop. I raised our baby,” I cried out. It was wrong to yell at him when I committed the ultimate sin. But I needed this one moment. I needed it before he knew what kind of monster I was. I leaned over and wrapped him in a hug, sobbing against his neck as my body trembled. “How could you? I love you. I want you.” I just wanted one hug before he pulled away. One hug before he stopped loving me.

  “I love you too,” he replied. He wouldn’t love me once he knew what I’d done. He sounded shocked that I wasn’t punching him or threatening divorce. I was too terrified of his reaction to think of punishing him. “We can work through this. I know we can,” he whispered against my hair while stroking my back. His tenderness made me cry harder. That thin thread of sanity was close to snapping again. Numbness burned the edges of my mind.

  “I don’t think we can. I did something, Brian,” I admitted before shaking harder. More adrenaline flooded my system.

  Brian pulled back and stared at me. “What did you do?”

  “I was so mad. I just…” I broke. I felt split in two, devastated for what I’d done.

  “What did you do?”

  I cradled my head in my hands and sobbed, embracing the agony. “I killed her.”

  Brian snapped his hand back and shot up. “You what?”

  “I was just so mad. She texted you, and I went to talk to her about the b-baby.” Brian squeezed his eyes shut at the mention of the baby. That was another layer of pain blanketing us and our devastating story. “I couldn’t let her destroy our family, Brian. I love you too much. We can’t do this to Breeze. They’re going to arrest me. They’re going to arrest you for being with an underaged girl. I was just so angry. Please say you love me.” I craved his love still, despite it all. I wasn’t sure what that said about me—what did any of this say about me? I was a fucking murderer.

  Brian started pacing his office, muttering curses as he went. “How? When? Where?”

  I explained everything to him. I couldn’t describe the way my anger took over. I’d read about temporary insanity, but I now had a firsthand account. My emotions completely took over. Reason and empathy had fled my mind, leaving nothing but anger in its wake. I didn’t want to feel like a monster, but maybe that’s what I was. Maybe that’s why it was so easy to press the branch to her neck and cut off her air.

  “Shit, Ally. This is bad.” He tried to hide the grief in his tone. He probably cared for her. It made me want to grab one of the sharp pencils on his desk and stab him in the eye.

  “I know. They’ll take me away. Poor Breeze.” I sniffled.

  Brian went rigid. “No,” he whispered. “This is my fault.”

  “What?” I asked in shock while wiping at the snot that dripped from my nose. “What do you mean?”

  “None of this would have happened if I had kept my dick in my pants. I love you, Allison. It’s always been you. I fucked up. I’m going to fix this, okay? Breeze needs at least one of her parents. I’m not going to let you suffer for this.”

  “No, Brian, you can’t.”

  He cupped my cheeks in his hands and stared at me. “I’ve not been a good husband to you, Ally. I cheated. I didn’t provide for you. You’ve always done it all. Please let me do one thing right. Just one thing.”

  “Brian,” I sobbed before leaning forward to kiss him. His lips were still, but I pushed harder. I couldn’t help but wonder if he could taste the death clinging to me. When I pulled away, he gave me a sympathetic smile. The pity caused a new wave of sadness to course through me. I wasn’t sure if it was the heaviness of the moment or his complete lack of passion for me that made our kiss lackluster, but it hurt all th
e same.

  “I have a friend…” he said, his voice trailing off.

  I scrunched up my face in confusion. “A friend?”

  “I know someone who can help cover this up. He approached me a few weeks ago, and I’ve already been trying to figure out a way to get him off my back. This is exactly what he wanted. I think he can take care of this. But if I have to, I will take the fall,” he gritted out.

  This is exactly what he wanted? Who wanted Violet killed?

  “What are you going to do?” I asked.

  Brian crouched at my feet and held my hand. “I’m going to do whatever’s necessary to keep you and Breeze safe. I’m going to save you, Ally. I can’t let you go to prison. I’ll take your place; I love you too much to let you suffer more than you already have.”

  I sobbed. “But I did this.” My body, heart, and soul felt fractured. My mind had started to succumb to the numbness.

  “You didn’t do this. Say it out loud, Ally. I need you to believe it.”

  “But—”

  “Say it!” he yelled.

  I swallowed. “I didn’t kill Violet Jones,” I whispered.

  “Say it again.”

  “I didn’t kill Violet Jones.”

  “Again. Louder.”

  “I didn’t kill Violet Jones,” I said. “I didn’t kill Violet Jones!”

  “Again,” Brian demanded while pacing the floors.

  “I didn’t kill Violet Jones. I didn’t kill Violet Jones. I didn’t kill Violet Jones. I didn’t kill Violet Jones.”

  Brian stopped and faced me. “I killed her,” he said, his voice full of steel. “Tell me.”

  “You killed her,” I whispered. It was easy to believe. My mind wanted to feel the relief of his truth. It wanted to escape the guilt and the pain. “You killed Violet.”

  Brian nodded. “Good.”