Mastered By Love

by Tori Minard

  Was this the way she’d spend the rest of her life? She adored him, but she feared what would happen to her if he tired of her or – Goddess forbid – he died. She had no standing other than the protection he offered her and that wasn’t enough to set her mind at ease.

  What if something should happen to him? For that matter, what if he should need protection? If he were injured or sick, she would have no authority in his treatment and no way to stop predatory and jealous courtiers from hurrying along his demise.

  You’re worrying about nothing.

  Was she really? Summer would come again and he’d most likely be ordered back to the field, where he might be wounded. Especially now, with Tariza as his captive, the Concordians would do everything in their power to hurt him. Her mother would gladly mount his head on a spike and display it at her palace gates. Leaving Tariza completely undefended.

  She plucked irritably at her guitar strings. The situation was untenable. She couldn’t live with the uncertainty.

  What choice do you have?

  The sound of a door opening interrupted her thoughts. She looked up as a middle-aged woman with iron-gray hair wheeled in a rolling cart filled with cleaning supplies.

  “I’m here to clean the prince’s chambers,” the woman said.

  “I see that.”

  The woman made a soft sound of assent or acknowledgment. She pushed the cart into the center of the room and chose a duster from one of the containers riding on its top. She wore a plain wool dress in a dull brown over an unbleached linen undergown that showed at her neckline and her rolled-up sleeves. It was the least revealing slave costume Tariza had seen.

  “What’s your name?”

  The other woman looked up from her dusting. “Nali. What’s yours?”

  “Tariza.”

  Nali paused, staring. “You wouldn’t happen to be that Tariza? The Concordian?”

  “Yes, I am.”

  The older woman’s eyes widened. “You’re not what I expected.”

  “What did you expect?” she said with a twist of her lips.

  “I thought – you know –” Nali gestured vaguely. “You’d have a shaved head and scars all over your face. I never imagined you’d be beautiful.”

  “Um ... thanks. I think.”

  Nali laughed uncertainly. “I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings. I wasn’t trying to be rude.”

  Why not? All the other Saturnian women did. Tariza gave a negligent wave of her hand. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not offended.”

  “The girls all said you were a warrior.”

  “I am. Was.” She cocked her head. “I’ve never seen a woman here dressed like you before. Is it a uniform?”

  “Not really.” Nali laughed. “We housemaids dress like this because it’s practical.”

  “But I thought all women in Saturnios were slaves.”

  “Oh, we are. But those of us who are past the sweet, fuckable stage of life don’t wear the fancy harnesses anymore. No man wants to look at our saggy bodies.” Smiling, she began to dust the mantel.

  “So none of you stay with a ... a particular master?” She kept her tone light and unconcerned.

  “Oh, no. Even the old men want to fuck pretty young girls like you. At my age, we cover up and stay out of the way.” She winked.

  Tariza shifted uneasily in her chair. “Prince Dario’s parents stayed together.”

  “Well, now, that’s true, but they were a rarity. Dario has always used a great variety of women. From what I hear, he never keeps one longer than two or three months.”

  By that reckoning, they’d already hit their limit. Could he be tiring of her? He didn’t seem to be.

  “Prince Dario loves women,” Nali continued. “He’s the kindest master. Always lets his girls down gently. You’ll see.”

  I don’t want to see.

  “A girl as pretty as you will be quite popular when the prince is done with you.”

  “I have his name on my arm,” Tariza said, struggling to mask her resentment of the other slave’s words.

  Nali’s eyes widened ever further than they had before. “Do you? How unusual. In that case, only the highest ranking men will be able to use you.”

  “I thought it meant I would be his exclusively.”

  “Well, yes, but not forever. You didn’t think the prince would keep you with him forever, did you?” Nali pressed her fingers to her mouth. “Oh, dear, I can see that you did. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  It was a little late for her to offer her regrets, now that she’d shattered Tariza’s peace. Tariza set the guitar next to her chair and rose, smoothing her robe.

  “I – I must take a bath. Will I be in your way?”

  “Not at all.” Nali laid a gentle hand on her arm, her hazel eyes tense with concern. “I hope you’ll forgive me for speaking so bluntly, my dear. I meant nothing by it.”

  “It’s quite all right,” Tariza said through a painfully tight throat.

  “There’s nothing to worry about, you know. Plenty of men will want you, and you’ll always be well cared for here in the palace, even when you’re old like me.”

  But she wasn’t old. In Concordia, women Nali’s age were known to be at the peak of their sexual powers.

  “Thank you,” Tariza rasped. “I’ll just go and fill the bathtub.”

  She fled Nali’s company, shutting the bathroom door with relief. Then she locked it, just in case the older slave should have the urge for more conversation. She turned the hot water spigot. The roar of water through the pipes made a wonderful loud noise, enough to drown out the voice of anyone trying to speak to her through the door.

  There’s no reason to believe that Dario is thinking of putting me aside. No reason at all. Nali doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

  But doubt had already slunk into her mind. Nali was Saturnian. She knew a lot more about local customs – and Dario’s personal history – than Tariza did. Maybe she was right.

  Even if Nali was mistaken about the length of her and Dario’s relationship, it was naive of Tariza to think he’d stay with her forever. Why should he, when the royal palace had a never-ending supply of lovely young nymphs to steal his attention?

  She’d turned off a slave once. His name was Gabriel. He’d been devoted to her, so devoted; he would have done anything she’d asked of him. And the sex had been good ... although not as good as with Dario. But Gabriel had begun to bore her, and another slave had caught her eye, and she’d sent Gabriel back to slave quarters where he’d be available once again to any woman who wanted him.

  He’d cried when she’d sent him away. At the time, she’d been impatient with his display of emotion. She’d thought him silly for expecting to be with her indefinitely. No-one did that.

  Now her heart ached for him. She’d been cruel to send him back. He’d loved her and she’d thrown him away. Now she was going to get the same treatment from Dario.

  I guess I deserve it.

  This was her life now, and she could either accept it or do something about it. But what? She’d lost the taste for suicide.

  The truth was, she’d never had it in the first place. Some Concordian warrior she was. She’d been fooling herself, lying to herself, for years.

  Always hoping Mother would look at me with pride someday, instead of as her Great Disappointment. She must be dying of disappointment now.

  Merita probably hoped Tariza was dead.

  She’d already discovered she didn’t have the nerve to end her own life, so she’d have to find another way. There would be opportunities to escape, eventually. She could cut her hair, bind her breasts and masquerade as a boy.

  Tendrils of steam came off the surface of the bath water and condensed on the cold window. In the heat of the bath she couldn’t feel the chill in the air. But the ice had returned to her heart.

  Opportunities to escape would arise. But could she really leave Dario? Could she walk away from him? The thought of never seeing hi
m again made her sick to her stomach.

  Had she fallen in love with him?

  I don’t believe in romantic love.

  She’d read about the phenomenon, but had always thought of it as sentimental nonsense. Yet her feelings seemed to match the classic description of that emotional state. Sexual longing, tenderness, and a sense of friendship, of camaraderie, she’d never expected to have with any man.

  Romantic love. Goddess, she was doomed.

  I may be doomed, but at least I’ll smell good.

  She picked up the scented soap and began to wash.

  ***

  Two hours later, she’d rubbed scented oil into her skin, applied make-up, and dressed in a clinging gown of finely knit blue wool that displayed every curve yet kept her warmer than a typical slave dress. The fabric, ironically, was Concordian. She was combing out her hair in front of the fire Nali had laid, when someone knocked on the door.

  Sighing, Tariza put down the comb to answer. It was one of the male servants.

  “Prince Dario commands your presence,” he said, giving her a lascivious glance.

  Wordlessly, she stepped out of the room and shut the door. He could ogle her all he liked, but if he touched her Dario would remove his hand. He knew it and she knew it.

  Tariza ignored the man as he led her through the palace. She followed him, yet otherwise refused to acknowledge him.

  If Dario died, this asshole could do whatever he wanted to me.

  But Dario wouldn’t die. And she would escape, even if it tore the heart from her body. She would escape.

  The servant conducted her to the library. Within, masculine voices mingled with high-pitched feminine giggles. Goddess, these Saturnian women were always giggling like little girls. It made her want to slap them.

  Tariza hesitated in the doorway to the library. Dario sprawled in an overstuffed armchair, his face turned away from her, two slave girls in nothing but harnesses draped all over him. One, a brunette, seemed to be nibbling on his ear. The other, a redhead, was pulling his erect cock out of his trousers while Mateo stood over him, laughing. The redhead bent down and took Dario’s cock in her mouth.

  Tariza began to tremble. She shoved past the servant, strode into the room and grabbed the redhead by her curly copper hair. Dario’s head whipped around.

  “Get off him,” Tariza said in a deadly voice.

  The girl removed her mouth from Dario’s body. “Let go of me!”

  “Here, now. You can’t do that,” Mateo said.

  Dario stuffed his cock back in his trousers. “Tariza –”

  She yanked on the girl’s hair, provoking a squeal of pain. “Get out. Now.”

  “You can’t tell me what to do. Prince Mateo, help me!”

  The crown prince lunged for Tariza. He grabbed her wrist in a bruising grip. “Let go of her, Concordian.”

  “She has no right –”

  “Let. Go.” His icy eyes seemed to bore right through her. “She was acting on my orders.”

  “Let go of her, Tariza,” Dario said.

  She released the girl’s hair. The redhead promptly began to cry.

  Tariza rolled her eyes. “If you’re old enough to suck a man’s cock,” she said with contempt, “you’re too old to act like such a baby.”

  That made the redhead cry even more loudly. Her brunette companion put her arms around the girl and made shushing noises. Mateo glowered at her.

  She gave him a hard stare. “She’s lucky I didn’t do more than pull her hair.”

  “I’m going to flay the hide off your nasty Concordian back,” Mateo said.

  “No, you’re not.” Dario slung an arm around her shoulders. “I’ll take care of her punishment.”

  “I take leave to doubt that, brother mine.” Mateo let go of her wrist with a grimace. “You spoil your Concordian worse than any of your other girls.”

  “You helped provoke this, brother. I told you I didn’t want any girls, and you practically threw them on me. What were you trying to prove?”

  “I was checking to see whether this bitch of yours had completely emasculated you. And it seems she has.”

  “I can’t carry on a rational conversation with a braying jackass,” Dario said. “Come, Tariza, we’ll return to my quarters.”

  She followed his direction without a glance at Mateo or the girls. Her body still trembled. Her hands still ached to pummel those two interlopers until they were covered in bruises. Even if it wasn’t their fault. Even if Mateo had ordered them to do it.

  What was the matter with her?

  Dario hustled her up the stairs and down the grand corridor to his quarters without speaking a word. His arm felt like a steel clamp around her shoulders, his body hard and angry against her side. He locked his door behind them before releasing her.

  “What in hell is wrong with you?” he said in a deadly voice. “When I left here, you were fine.”

  “I’m sorry.” She sounded emotionless, despite her trembling.

  “You’re sorry? You’re sorry.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “What am I going to do with you? This is the second time you’ve attacked another slave.”

  “I didn’t mean to. It just kind of happened.”

  “Tariza.” He shook his head. “You must have better control of yourself than that. You were a warrior, weren’t you?”

  “Yes. But I never had to fight for a man.”

  His face softened. “You don’t have to fight for me. You have me.”

  “No. You have me. It isn’t the same thing.”

  He caught her hands. “I didn’t want those girls. Mateo pushed them on me.”

  “You looked like you were enjoying yourself. You had a fine erection going there.”

  “She was rubbing me through my trousers. Of course I got hard.” Suddenly he grinned. “I like that you’re jealous.”

  “Dario, I can’t stand living like this.” Her voice broke. “It’s driving me crazy.”

  He gave her a baffled frown. “Living like what? I thought you’d adapted reasonably well.”

  Her mother appeared in her mind’s eye, shaking her head with that look of disappointment she wore so often in Tariza’s presence. Look at you, on the verge of begging for reassurance. From a man. You were never a true Concordian, were you?

  “Tariza, what is it?”

  “I don’t know.” She tried to withdraw her hands. “I’m not jealous. I simply don’t think I should have to share.”

  “You’re not sharing.”

  She shrugged. “Maybe not now, but I will be someday.” Lifting her chin, she stared into his eyes. “I’m a princess, not a slave.”

  His jaw tightened. “You’re a slave now.”

  “Maybe by law. Maybe according to you. But in my heart, I’ll always be a princess of Concordia.”

  “What are you saying?”

  What was she saying? She wasn’t sure, didn’t know what she really wanted. “I need some assurance of my place here. Permanent assurance that you won’t abandon me.”

  “You mean like marriage? We don’t have that in Saturnios.”

  She rubbed her hand across her forehead. “I know.”

  “Why is my word not good enough for you?”

  “It’s not that I don’t trust you –”

  “It’s just you don’t trust me.” There was a storm coming up in his eyes. “You think I’ll go back on my promise to you.”

  “Things change, Dario,” she said in a whisper.

  “Not this. I will take care of you. No matter what happens.”

  “What if you’re not around to make sure of that?”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “You’re a soldier. Soldiers die.”

  He frowned. “Are you worried about me or yourself?”

  “Both.”

  “I can make arrangements with Mateo to look after you.”

  “He despises me.”

  “No, he doesn’t.” Dario shook his head. “He just doesn’t und
erstand how to handle you.”

  “And you do?” Her brow creased, her hands curling into loose fists. “I’m not a domestic animal. I’m a person. I don’t need to be handled; I need respect.”

  “What do you want me to do? Should I give you back to Concordia?” His face paled. “That’s what you really want, isn’t it? You’d like to leave me and go back to your old ways.”

  “No.” She shook her head, making loose wisps of hair fly around her face. “I don’t want to leave you. I –” Love you. “I don’t understand why there can’t be some middle ground.”

  “Middle ground doesn’t exist here. I can make legal provisions for you in my will so that you’ll be provided for. Is that enough for you?”

  She stared at him, at the remote look on his face. He was pulling away from her, no matter what he said. The compromise he offered was better than nothing, but it wasn’t what she’d hoped for.

  What did you want, a declaration of undying love?

  Yes, that was what she’d wanted, and now it was obvious she’d never get it.

  “Is it enough, Tariza?”

  “Yes.” She gave a listless shrug.

  “Good. I’ll see to it when I get back from my trip to the country. Now, about that punishment.”

  Tariza drew back. “You’re really going to punish me?”

  “I have to.” He seemed even more remote than before. “I can’t let an attack like that go un-chastised.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Spank you. And you’re staying home. You won’t be going to the country with me.”

  “I see.” He was leaving her, then. “I suppose we’re moving to a standard master and slave relationship, then.”

  “There’s nothing standard about you and me.”

  “Only because I’m a special prize as a slave. All the other slaves hate me for it, you know.”

  “They don’t hate you.” He shook his head. “Some of them aren’t sure what to make of you, but hate you? No.”

  Could it be that he truly didn’t know? “They hate me, Saturnios. If you weren’t so busy playing Master Of The Universe, you’d have noticed. But you’re just as oblivious as all the other men around here.”