Buried in the Stars

by Gretchen Tubbs

  “Please, Squirt?” Sutton mocks.

  “Go ahead, honey,” Mom says. “I can ride with someone else.”

  “We’ve got plenty of space, Amy,” Doc tells her and ushers her into the front seat of his SUV. I get Estella settled into her booster, and then Sutton and I climb in beside her. There’s room in the back for Easton and Claudia, but they take off in the direction of Emily’s rental.

  Doc fiddles with the radio, Mom’s prattling on about all of my job interviews and prospects, but all I can concentrate on is the fact that Sutton’s entire side is pressed up against mine. I haven’t been in the same space as him in almost a year. We talk all the time. It was easy to fall back into our old friendship. I missed him with a fierce desperation, and I’m glad he’s back in my life.

  He nudges my shoulder and leans over, tickling the shell of my ear when he speaks. “Answer my daughter, Squirt.”

  Color heats my cheeks. “What?” I was too busy taking in the sight and feel of him that I have no idea what she asked.

  “Do you want your present now or later?” she repeats. Her smile is huge.

  “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

  “It was Dad’s idea.”

  I turn to Sutton, repeating my statement.

  “Yes, I did. When do you want it?” He has a devilish gleam in his eye and a smirk on his face.

  “How about after dinner?”

  He tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear. “That’s probably best.”

  His answer, coupled with his touch, causes a flutter in my belly. His hand stops at the base of my throat and rests there. I can feel my pulse hammering underneath his fingertips. His eyes are heated, a sign that he feels it, too.

  His dad’s voice slices through the interior of the car. “We’re here.”

  Sutton gives my neck a gentle squeeze and reaches over me to unstrap his daughter from her booster seat. He presses his entire body against me, and I wish we were alone instead of in the back of his father’s car so I could do something about the sensations he’s causing me to experience. After Estella is free he pulls away and chuckles, as if he knows exactly what I’m thinking.

  On wobbly legs, I let him lead me to the table where the rest of our friends are waiting. A spark of jealousy ignites when I see how comfortable Claudia and Easton look with each other, but I quickly let it go. I have no right to feel that way anymore.

  Dinner was delicious, but pure torture. Sutton’s fingers played along my skin all night, brushing against my knee, running up and down the skin on my thigh, skimming my calf. More than once, my fork clanked against my plate. He would just grin, his dimple and smile reminiscent of the Sutton of our childhood, before he left for school. The Sutton I knew when I was the most important thing in the world to him.

  I’d never been so happy to see a check delivered. It took forever, between all the food being served and presents that Easton and I had to open. Our families were very generous with their gifts, but I had one thing on my mind, and that was being alone with Sutton.

  Emily and her parents invited everyone over for drinks. Mom declined, stating she was tired and had to wake up early in the morning, but I know better. She’s been sober for years, but it’s something she struggles with each and every day. Her issues with drugs and alcohol turned her into a monster, so she doesn’t put herself into situations like that anymore.

  Doc tosses Sutton his keys. “Why don’t you take my car, son, and I’ll ride back with your aunt and uncle?”

  “I want to ride with my uncle,” Estella proclaims. She’s clinging to Easton and doesn’t look like she’s willing to let go anytime soon.

  After putting her car seat in Emily’s rental, Doc leaves with Emily’s parents and Emily leaves with everyone else. Mom, Sutton, and I take Doc’s car and drop Mom back off at home.

  “I’m proud of you,” she tells me as she unlocks the house. Sutton dropped us off and went home. I can feel my phone buzzing in the pocket of my dress with an incoming text that I’m sure is from him.

  “Thanks, Mom. I’m glad that you were here with me.”

  “Me, too.” She takes a few deep breaths and I see her eyes get misty. I know where this is going… it’s where the majority of our conversations end up. “I’m so sorry, Scar. I was horrible to you and I don’t know how to ever make it up.”

  My own eyes grow wet. “You’re doing it. I have my mom back. It took a while, but we got here, and that’s what matters now. You don’t have to keep apologizing.”

  “I wish your dad was here to see what an amazing woman you turned out to be.”

  I nod and pull her in for a hug. I wish he was here, too. My phone buzzes again, and my mom feels it through our hug. She giggles, breaking us out of the deep thoughts we’re both experiencing.

  “I think Sutton’s growing impatient.”

  “How do you know it’s him?”

  She smiles. “I might be old, Scar, but I’m not blind. He’s got it bad. It’s hard to hide feelings that strong.”

  Mom and I have done a lot of talking and healing over the past year. She knows all of the details of my relationships with both of the Winters brothers. “I’m scared.” My voice drops to a quiet whisper, and I tell her what I’ve been terrified to admit. “I don’t want him to hurt me again. Surviving the heartache once was hard enough.”

  She pulls me back into her arms. “Oh, honey, I don’t think that will happen again. Besides, no one has ever hurt you as much as I did and you gave me another chance.”

  I lift my face from her shoulder and wipe the tears away. “I want it to work this time.”

  “It will.”

  I take a few deep breaths and pull in some courage. “Okay. Thanks, Momma, for everything.”

  She smiles and fusses over my clothes. “Anytime, Scar.”

  She walks me out and as soon as I hear the locks click into place I pull out my phone and smile at the impatient ‘where are you?’ texts from Sutton. I walk over to his house and find the front door open so I go into the kitchen. He’s on a stool at the island, so I hop on the surface, a place I spent most of my childhood. The minute I’m up there his hands find their way to my legs.

  “Congrats, Squirt. Can I give you your present now?”

  I nod and he produces an envelope from one of the drawers and places it in my hands.

  “Before you open it I want to tell you something.”

  “Okay.”

  His hands frame my face. “I’ve been dying to kiss you.”

  My mind drifts back to the first time he used those same words on me. Sutton Winters was the first boy to kiss me, and I want him to be the last.

  “Can I kiss you?”

  I nod my head and he slips his hands from my face to my hair, moving my head and placing his lips on mine. The second our mouths touch it’s like I’m transported back in time.

  The kiss is perfect.

  It’s everything.

  Fire moves through my belly as his tongue tangles with mine, moving with absolute precision and perfection. My eyes flutter open as he pulls away.

  “It’s better than I remember.” His fingers trace over my lips, which feel swollen from his mouth.

  I nod in agreement. My memory didn’t do his kiss justice.

  “I missed that,” he says. His lips touch mine once more and move to my jaw and then down to the smattering of freckles on my shoulder. “I missed these.” He kisses each little cluster of them, tracing the pattern with his mouth. “I missed you like crazy.”

  “Sutton,” I exhale, because I just don’t know what else to say. He pushes his body between my legs and continues his exploration of my skin, his mouth remembering all of the places he used to kiss that drive me crazy.

  “I love you,” he whispers when he gets to the sensitive skin just beneath my ear.

  I gasp, shocked by his admission. We’ve talked hundreds of times this past year, but he’s never said those words to me.

  “I love you,” he repeats,
this time looking straight into my eyes so there’s no denying his words.

  “You love me?”

  “God, yes, Scarlett. I’ve loved you forever.”

  “How much?” I ask, the banter coming back to me like second nature.

  “A lot.”

  My smile grows bigger. “More than what?”

  “More than every damn star in the sky. I’d give them up if it meant having you back in my life. I’d never look at another star again.”

  A single tear rolls down my cheek as I whisper the words that have been locked away in my heart. “I love you, Sutton Winters. I never stopped loving you. I don’t think I ever will.”

  His mouth hits mine, and we kiss for what seems like hours. I never want to stop touching and kissing this man.

  “You ready for your present?” he asks when we finally pull away from each other.

  “I forgot about that.”

  He places the envelope in my hand and watches with wide eyes as I open it. Inside is a single plane ticket to California. I hold it up, my eyebrow arching in question.

  “I wanted to have one more memory with you on the beach. A good one, before I pack up my life there and come home.”

  “Come home?”

  He nods. “Estella and I are moving back. I want to make a life here, with my family. With you.”

  I shriek and jump off the kitchen island and into his arms. He’s never mentioned coming home, not since right before Mrs. Vera died.

  “I take it you like that idea.”

  “I’m freaking out!”

  He slides me down his body and places my feet on the floor. The look on his face causes my breath to catch in my throat. “I can’t imagine staying there while you’re here. We started here, and this is where we are meant to be. I know it’s presumptuous of me, but I want to be where you are.”

  “That’s exactly what I want.”

  He kisses the tip of my nose. “Good thing, because I accepted a teaching position at the university and enrolled Estella in school for the fall term. It would suck if we weren’t on the same page.” I laugh at him, tears still falling, and we kiss some more. “Come on, let’s go to Em’s and tell everyone the good news.”

  My happiness deflates a little at the prospect of sharing the news of the move with Easton. Things are good with us and have been since we broke up. We fell right back into our old friendship, but it was easy to do with Sutton back in California and both of us focusing on finishing school. As soon as we get to Emily’s house I decide to find him and let him know what’s happening. I don’t want him to hear about it from someone else.

  Sutton and I get drinks and part ways; Sutton wants to find Estella to tell her I’m going back with them and I want to find Easton. I search through the house but can’t find him among the guests. Realizing this might be hard for him without his mom here to celebrate, I decide to look for him outside.

  Easton seems to be getting along just fine. He’s not alone- he’s with Claudia.

  With Claudia.

  Kissing her.

  I clear my throat and they jump apart. She wipes at the corner of her mouth and slips back inside, winking at him before the door slams shut. Easton lowers his head and chuckles, and I can see the color on his cheeks, even in the dark.

  “I don’t even know what to say about that.”

  He shakes his head back and forth. “Nothing to say.”

  “Come sit with me.” We get comfortable on the porch swing, and I wait for him to give me an explanation, but he stays quiet.

  “How long have you two been doing that?” I ask, trying to keep the accusing tone out my voice. I have no right to sound like this. He was never mine.

  “Seriously? About ten minutes. She lives in California, Scarlett. Not easy to do that when we live across the country from each other.”

  “Is something going on between the two of you?”

  “Nah. Just trying to get my mind off things.”

  “Like?” I prompt.

  “Like the fact that my brother called me earlier to tell me that he’s moving back home to start his life with you. Like the fact that I’m still trying to get over you.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He takes my hand in his and loses some of the harshness from his tone. “Stop apologizing. You’re happy. I can see the old Scarlett coming back.” I put my head on his shoulder and we swing in silence. “Did you get your present?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Are you excited?” I nod and he kisses my forehead. “As much as it sucks for me, I’m happy for the two of you. Things are how they should be.”

  “What about you?”

  “Don’t worry about me, Scarlett.”

  “Do I need to worry about Claudia getting her claws into you?”

  He laughs again. I miss that sound- I don’t hear it nearly often enough. “I can handle myself.”

  “She’s vicious.”

  “She’s a good distraction.”

  “I’ll pretend not to be insulted by that comment.”

  “I don’t just mean from you. She makes me forget about all the other shit happening in my life.”

  “So you two have been talking?”

  “She calls to check in every once in a while. It’ll be interesting to see what happens when she moves down here with Sutton and Estella.”

  “She’s coming too?” I forgot all about her when Sutton and I were celebrating the move.

  “Well, yeah.”

  “Do you want a relationship with her?”

  He shakes his head. “No.”

  “Does she know that?”

  “I’m sure. Claudia isn’t exactly relationship material.”

  I quickly change the subject to more neutral territory, finding it a bit too awkward talking about this with Easton. I’m not exactly jealous, but that doesn’t mean I need to hear about his love life.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  I’ve been in Santa Monica for two days… forty-eight fun-filled hours of playing in the sand and Estella showing me all of her favorite things about California. Just before dinner, though, her friend Molly’s mom came to pick her up for a sleepover. Sutton and I just finished a delicious meal out on the back porch, the rolling waves serving as a back drop for our conversation. A nervous energy, filled with anticipation, flowed between us without Estella there as a buffer.

  After we pick up the plates and clear off the table, I excuse myself to freshen up. I give myself a pep talk in the mirror of the bathroom connected to the guestroom. When I come out, Sutton’s inside my bedroom, leaning against the dresser. My breath hitches at the sight, and my heart skips a few beats before hammering double time to make up for it.

  Sutton’s stare is almost predatory. He walks toward me as I shut the bathroom door, his eyes never wavering.

  “I had fun with Estella today when we were surfing,” I tell him, trying to break some of the tension in the room.

  “I’m not here to talk about my daughter.”

  The gruffness of his voice shoots straight between my legs.

  When we reach each other in the center of the room, one of his hands comes to the nape of my neck and tugs slightly at my hair, the other snakes around my waist. I close my eyes and exhale, almost moan, wanting his kiss, but his mouth connects with the flesh just below my ear.

  “A piece of my soul was missing; I’m whole again, Scarlett, now that you’re mine. I love you.” His lips move from my ear and make their way down my neck, sucking and kissing.

  I can’t ask him how much he loves me. His words were everything… the playfulness of what we usually say would lessen the beauty of them. A single tear rolls down my cheek, hitting him. Sutton lifts his face and wipes the track away with his thumb.

  “No more tears, Squirt. We’ve both cried enough.”

  “That was a happy tear,” I whisper.

  “Those are the only kind you’ll ever cry again.”

  Sutton leans forward and seals his mouth over mine. The
kiss is slow and tender, much like the first one we ever shared. As soon as my hands twist into his hair, he picks me up and walks until the backs of his knees hit the bed.

  He lowers me down until my feet hit the floor, his eyes searching mine with unspoken questions. I nod, giving him permission to take things further.

  “Sit down, Scarlett.” His voice is quiet, rough.

  I do as he says.

  He kneels at my feet. With a gentle touch, he removes one sandal, then the other, teasing each instep of my foot with just the slightest brush of the tip of his finger. Once my shoes are off, he runs his hands up the outside of my legs. I expect him to take my dress off when he gets to the fabric laying on my thighs, but he doesn’t. He reaches underneath and keeps moving up until he wraps his hands around my waist. Sutton’s gaze never wavers from mine.

  “You’re so beautiful.”

  He’s still moving up, brushing the outer swell of my breasts, when his mouth connects with mine again. This kiss is hungrier, needier. I slide off the bed and onto his lap, desperate for more contact. I need more than just his hands.

  I need all of him.

  Sutton’s groan echoes in my mouth, and I can feel it vibrating through my whole body. We pull away from the kiss, but only for him to rip the dress over my head. Our lips connect once more, but he moves away suddenly, like he’s been burned.

  “Let me look at you,” he says, his chest moving up and down rapidly. “Jesus Christ,” he groans as his eyes take in the sight of me.

  Cradling my back and my head, he flips us over onto the floor and kisses me with more passion and intensity than I’ve ever felt in my life.

  Sutton Winters owns me.

  My hands make quick work getting his shirt off while his mouth never stops its exploration of my body. He hesitates when I finally manage to get him free of his pants.

  “Once this happens, Scarlett, you’re mine. Do you understand that?” His eyes are burning.

  “I’ve always been yours. Always.” My hands cradle his face and I kiss him gently. “I love you, Sutton. I fell in love with you the first time you rescued me.”

  He smiles and brushes his lips against mine once more. “I’ll rescue you as long as you need it. Now, let me show you how much I love you.”