by Mahi Jay
‘They seem to be pretty close to each other, don’t they?’ asked Tanisha snidely, gesturing towards where Nina was sitting with Gaurav.
‘She worked a miracle for him. She cleaned up his mess and gave him a sparkling new image. So obviously they are bound to know each other well,’ he said in a bored tone.
‘He’s got a way with women that leaves them wanting more. You’d do well to keep her away from him,’ said Tanisha, looking at Gaurav dreamily.
Aadith was not amused by her remark and his face showed it clearly. ‘Are you suggesting that I can’t keep my woman happy?’
Tanisha seemed to become aware of the faux pas she’d committed and leaped to correct it. ‘Of … of course not. I merely meant that while the cat’s away the mice will play.’
Aadith gave her a look of utter disgust and snapped savagely, ‘Keep your vile insinuations to yourself. That is my fiancée you’re talking about and if I hear you say another insulting word about her or to her, I will personally make sure you regret it.’
Tanisha’s face suffused with colour. With all attention focused on the final performance onstage their intense conversation seemed to have escaped everyone’s notice. But that ugly scene with Tanisha only served to fuel Aadith’s anger. He couldn’t bear to watch Nina with Gaurav a moment longer, nor could he ignore them. He was on his feet the minute the show ended. He didn’t bother to take leave of the others around his table. He strode to Nina’s table in a blaze of temper.
At the end of the performance Nina rose to her feet to make her way back to her table. As she turned she caught sight of Aadith walking towards her with long, purposeful strides. She smiled at him when he reached her.
‘You were wonderful onstage,’ she began.
‘You watched it?’ he asked in mock surprise. ‘I thought you might have been busy with your friend here,’ he continued, giving Gaurav a cold stare.
Nina’s eyes widened. What the hell was wrong with him? she wondered. Didn’t he realise he was being rude?
‘We did, and I have to say you’re truly a lucky man. She cheered for you most vociferously. Now I’m left wondering if she’s managed to make me slightly deaf,’ said Gaurav, smiling fondly at Nina.
‘Yeah, she can be most vocal at times,’ drawled Aadith outrageously, leaving the other man in no doubt as to when. Nina’s face burned in embarrassment. She glared at Aadith.
‘I love women who are appreciative myself,’ countered Gaurav, with the light of battle shining in his eyes.
Nina groaned in dismay. The two men were looking at each other with daggers drawn. This was turning out to be a nightmare.
‘Well, good luck finding one. This one’s taken,’ bit out Aadith, draping an arm over her shoulders and drawing her close to his side.
Gaurav shot a dimpled smile at that. ‘Like I told her, the deed’s not done yet. She can always change her mind,’ he said, egging Aadith on.
Aadith froze completely. He felt as if someone had punched him in the gut. He stemmed down a rising tide of anger and fought the sudden urge to knock the other man down.
‘Don’t keep your hopes up. What’s mine, stays mine,’ he snarled, not afraid to display the possessive streak in him.
Nina shook her head in disgust at the pair of them and said, ‘You know what? I’m done listening to this stupid, juvenile conversation. I’ve worked my butt off to get you both good press and if either of you do a thing to jeopardise it in public, I swear to God I’ll tear you both to shreds myself. There’s press around right now, so smile, shake hands and walk away,’ she instructed sternly.
They must have seen the sense in her words. The consummate actor that he was, Aadith immediately flashed a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Gaurav, slower to react, reluctantly held his hand out for a shake.
‘I hope you are good to her. She only deserves happy endings,’ was Gaurav’s parting shot.
Nina turned to a stony-faced Aadith staring down at her.
‘Don’t say a word,’ he ordered harshly.
The presence of the chauffeur prevented any conversation between them on their way back. The silence between them simmered with anger. Aadith dismissed the driver at her condo and waited stiffly behind her as she fumbled at the door with the key.
‘Let me,’ he said and closed his hand over hers to steady it.
Nina swiftly snatched her hand back, but allowed him to open the door and stepped inside.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
‘CARE TO EXPLAIN what the hell you were playing at?’ asked Aadith in a tightly controlled voice.
The reserve Nina had displayed the past few days still nagged at the back of his mind. Agreed, she’d apologised and they’d made up, but the fear that she’d been about to break things off with him was too recent to ignore. Was she over him? Had she found her prince charming and was looking to move on? Was that what this evening had been about? If yes, where did that leave him? He’d told Tanisha that he knew how to keep his woman happy, but hadn’t Monica happily dumped him for someone else? Was Nina about to do the same? he wondered furiously.
Unreasonable jealousy and anger surged through him. He was not going to give her up without a fight.
Nina looked at him in disbelief. What she was playing at? He had a nerve asking her that after coming so close to creating a scene at dinner. His rude behaviour had been totally uncalled for. She couldn’t imagine why he’d behaved so badly.
‘Are you kidding me? You are asking me that? What’s with that attitude you had tonight? It was insulting to be treated like a toy to be fought over.’
‘What do you expect when I leave my fiancée alone for an hour or so and return to find her flirting with another man in a roomful of people actively watching their every move?’ he accused harshly.
‘For one thing I expect trust. He is only a client of mine and we were merely having a conversation. You have no right to object to that.’
‘I have no rights? Do I need to remind you that we are engaged? I will not be made a fool of.’
‘It’s only a fake engagement, remember!’ returned Nina hotly.
‘I knew it was going to come down to this. Have it your way, then. Let’s make it real. Let’s get married.’
From the day he’d sensed her withdrawal he’d been breaking his head to find a way to get her to stay. He wasn’t ready to end what they shared. He knew marriage was a much bigger leap than asking her to move in with him, but with Nina it didn’t seem like a leap into the unknown. It just felt as if things were finally falling into place. Now all he had to do was convince her that it was the next logical step for them both.
Nina’s heart thundered as she looked into his face. It seemed as if she’d dreamed and ached for this moment for ever and now it was here. But sadly it was poles apart from how she’d imagined it would be.
‘Have it my way?’ she exploded. ‘Why on earth would you think I want to get married to you?’
‘Because however much you protest, you are the hearts and flowers and babies kinda girl.’
‘So are you offering me all that?’ she asked, her heart in her mouth.
‘The flowers right now, the babies some time in the future, the heart … Well, you know my take on that.’
‘Sadly I do, which is why I can’t understand why you’re offering marriage.’
Aadith knew it was crucial to get his answers right. But he also didn’t want to start a potentially more serious relationship on a false note. Not when the whole of his parents’ lives together had been a farce that hadn’t lasted long. He still believed love wasn’t enough to go the distance. Friendship and passion stood a much better chance, which was why he was willing to give it a shot.
‘The usual reasons, of course. We’re compatible. Our families get along. We respect each other and we’re dynamite in bed. What more reasons do we need? A lot of marriages I know are based on much less so I’d say we stand a better chance at it than most. We’d make a damn good team,’ he said with a persuasive smi
le.
Cracks slowly splintered Nina’s heart. He listed all the reasons save the one that really mattered. Love. ‘For most people the usual reason to get married would be love,’ she muttered darkly.
‘A few years down the road they’ll be very disillusioned people,’ he stated. ‘Come on, Nina, be practical. You know we make sense, so say yes,’ he urged.
‘Aadith, do you want to know what I want? I want insanity in my life! I don’t want to make sense! I don’t want the safe and predictable. I want love and romance and grand passion. I want to be crazy in love with whoever I marry and I want him to be just as mad about me.’
Aadith clenched his jaw. Why did women always insist on complicating things. When what they shared worked reasonably well why couldn’t she …? He paused. Reasonably well? Shouldn’t he have termed what they’d shared so far as being the best? Why hadn’t he? Did he also feel there was a missing element in their relationship? Damn! She was complicating everything and making him feel things he didn’t want to acknowledge. Emotions sooner or later messed things up and caused pain. And he wanted to steer clear of pain. He never again wanted to feel the pain of losing a loved one.
‘The romance you want will fade in a few years and what will you be left with then?’ he asked.
Nina bit her lip to stop herself from screaming at him. She didn’t want to be sensible. She’d been that all her life and it hadn’t been enough.
‘Love. I will be left with love. All my life the only thing I’ve ever wanted is to be loved above all else. All these years I’ve only ever been an afterthought for my parents. And you know what—it is nowhere near enough. I want more. No! I need more, much more. I want to be loved and cherished and I deserve to be,’ she raged heatedly.
‘Nina, you’re thinking with your heart. Use your head,’ protested Aadith in frustration.
Nina shot him a cold glare. ‘Weren’t you the one who, not so long ago, asked me not to overthink stuff and just go with the flow? What happened to that?’ she derided.
‘You are using my words out of context—you know I didn’t mean it that way,’ he argued.
‘Spoken like a true celebrity. Any time something you said earlier doesn’t fit your present purpose you fall back on the taken-out-of-context line,’ she mocked.
Aadith flexed his fingers angrily. He badly wanted to take her into his arms and kiss some sense into her. But he knew that wouldn’t go down well with her. It stung that she didn’t want to take that next step into marriage with him, but he wasn’t going to beg any more. A man had his pride.
Damn! He shouldn’t have rocked the boat. They’d been doing fine until tonight. Maybe he should back down on the subject, he thought morosely.
‘You’re right, you have to make your own choices. But don’t underrate what we’ve had. Maybe it didn’t contain all the ingredients for the perfect relationship that you seem to think exists. But it did work. Maybe some more time together will do the trick,’ he suggested.
‘Really? Emotions and you? You don’t let women into your house, let alone your heart. Do you think given enough time you will look at love differently?’ she challenged. Her heart was in her mouth. Say yes … she prayed. All she needed was hope that what they shared now could be more in the future … that she had a shot at changing his mind.
Aadith was stumped. His mouth felt dry. Marriage, a wife and kids he could gear himself up for. But to love would be to lay his heart open once again for pain and he didn’t think he was ready for it now, nor sure that he ever would be. He knew his answer would spell the death sentence to his relationship with Nina, but he couldn’t bring himself to lie to her.
‘Nina, you know I don’t do emotions very well,’ he stated quietly.
If she’d wanted further proof that she was making the right decision, she had it. If he’d felt more for her he would have fought harder to try and change his beliefs, wouldn’t he? Stupid weak tears pricked her eyes but pride and anger wouldn’t let them fall. She was getting more furious by the minute.
‘Yes, I know it all too well. This marriage you’re proposing is a cop-out. You’d get a wife whom you can keep at a distance. You can pretend to yourself and to the rest of the world that you are just like everyone else. But you’re not. You are an emotional coward. Agreed, you were hurt once too often in the past, but frankly no one goes through life unscathed. Get over it. The scars we bear are what make us stronger and I’ve just realised it myself. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life walled in an emotionless, empty relationship. So forgive me if I don’t say yes to your idea of a marriage proposal. I just can’t do this any more,’ burst out Nina.
‘Good for you, then! I hope your rose tinted glasses never come off. But spare me if I don’t share the cookie-cutter need for the perfect house and perfect spouse. Only fools march towards certain failure and I’m far from one,’ he bit out angrily.
Where the hell did she get off accusing him of being a coward? He was just a realist and damn her for making him question the rules that had governed the life he’d forged for himself. He had been all right before her and he would be after she was gone too, he vowed.
Nina knew she couldn’t have survived for long in the soulless relationship he’d suggested but the rest of her life loomed bleakly before her now that she’d screwed up even the budding friendship she’d shared with him. A life without him in it seemed barren indeed.
Should she have taken what he’d offered and made do with it? she wondered. But she just couldn’t bear to spend the rest of her life hoping he’d return her love some day. She was a survivor. Getting over him was not going to be easy, but she’d managed to push him to the back of her mind once before. Maybe she could do it again.
‘No, you’re not. But I am … so this is it for us, I guess.’ Nina shrugged sadly.
Aadith could not believe it had come to this. It felt so incredibly wrong to say goodbye to her. His chest felt tight, as if there were a band gripping it fiercely. Words seemed impossible to utter as his silver-grey eyes met melting brown ones. They each held a misery the other recognised. He turned to leave.
He hoped she’d call him back. She hoped he’d turn around. Neither happened.
Her legs seemed to have a mind of their own as she found herself moving towards the window to catch a glimpse of him as he left. The lights in the car park clearly illuminated him as he pressed a button in his key to unlock the car. His hair was tousled as if he’d run his fingers through it repeatedly. His dinner jacket was slung over an arm as she saw him gaze up towards her floor. She quickly hid behind the curtain. She didn’t want him to see her wearing her heart on her sleeve.
She felt broken and wretched. Why couldn’t she have fallen in love with a safe and normal person? Why did she have to fall for a hurt, damaged and cynical guy who was also way out of her league? Nothing ever seemed to come easily to her. Did complicated things happen to her or did she complicate them? wondered Nina in dismay. Since the time she’d turned fifteen there’d only been one person for whom her heart raced, and she doubted it would change any time soon either.
She just had to learn to live without him, all over again. The tears she’d held back flowed down her cheeks unchecked. Sobs racked her body as she huddled on the floor beneath the window. Love was a pain. Maybe she’d have been better off if she’d kept her heart to herself. But she hadn’t had a choice about it. Not since the day she’d met him.
Aadith looked up to see the lights in her living room still on. Whenever he left she’d always waved to him from the window. Now he wanted to see her there waving to him once again. But the window remained empty and lifeless, just as he felt.
As Aadith stood under the shower with scalding-hot water dripping down his tightly muscled frame, he banged his fist against the glass panel in frustration. The frosted-glass pane rattled slightly under the onslaught. It had been a week since he’d last seen her and in that time he’d picked up the phone over a hundred times to call or text her. But he had
n’t followed through. And every moment of the week he’d been miserable. He’d been constantly haunted by thoughts of her.
He’d visited her Facebook and Twitter account far too many times to check for updates. There was silence there too. He was desperate for news of her. He thought of getting his daadhi to call Nina but the thought of answering her million questions in his current state of mind didn’t appeal to him at all.
He turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. He decided to call her himself on the pretext of inviting her to the success bash of the movie. He felt a warmth steal over him at the thought of hearing her voice again. His housekeeper waylaid him as soon as he stepped downstairs for dinner.
‘Sir, Nina madam sent a bag,’ he was informed, indicating a pretty paper bag that was filled to the brim with stuff.
It felt good just to hear her name aloud. ‘Who brought it around?’ asked Aadith eagerly.
‘A messenger boy from her office,’ replied the housekeeper.
He wanted to snatch the bag and look through it immediately.
‘Shall I serve dinner?’ asked his housekeeper.
‘Hold it, please,’ said Aadith as he forced himself to casually pick the bag up and take it with him to the living room. He shut the door behind him and took a deep breath. Even the bag seemed to smell of her. As he opened the bag excitedly a few clothes and various odds and ends he’d left over at her place tumbled out. She must be in a real hurry to get rid of me, thought Aadith furiously. His body vibrated with anger as his eyes fell on a midnight-blue velvet ring box nestled at the bottom of the bag.
