Memoirs of an Accidental Hustler

by J. M. Benjamin

  CHAPTER THREE

  To see the look on my mom’s and grandmother’s faces when they called my and Kamal’s names back to back for our diplomas made keeping my grades up all the more worth it. My mother looked as if she were the happiest woman on the planet to have her two sons graduate. I hadn’t seen her that happy in a long time. Between her being stressed over work and school, and still hurt from the situation with my dad, she hardly ever smiled anymore. Today, her grin was from ear to ear, though, and she had a lot to be proud of.

  The Benson family had had a good school year. Monique was exceptionally smart, so instead of her becoming a freshman in high school they skipped her from eighth grade to tenth. Not only was it a good year for my family, but also for the Robertsons and Thompsons, because Shareef and Black had graduated with us, so nearly the entire projects were in the house. Even some of the local hustlers were in attendance, including Mustafa, who I saw standing all the way in the back posted up.

  After the ceremony, we were met with cries and hugs. “Look at my babies.” My moms embraced Mal and me. “I am so proud of you and I love you both,” she went on.

  “We know, Ma,” Mal and I both offered.

  “Let me get my hugs in, Sister. They’re my babies too, and I helped raise ’em and change their diapers,” my grandmother chimed in, calling my moms by her childhood nickname. “They wouldn’t have made it this far if I hadn’t stayed on their behinds,” my grandmother added. “Isn’t that right, you two?”

  “Yes, Grandma,” Mal and I answered. Our replies earned us huge bear hugs.

  Both Monique and Jasmine gave us hugs too. Monique hugged us up top while Jasmine wrapped her arms around our waists and congratulated us.

  “I told all the girls up in Maxson to watch out because my two little brothers were coming up there in September to break some hearts,” Monique leaned over and whispered into my and Mal’s ears. The three of us shared a laugh the way only siblings could together, as Jasmine stared at us wondering what she had missed.

  “Sister, take a picture of me and my two handsome young men,” my grandmother told my moms.

  I could almost detect some hurt in my mom’s eyes, as she envied the relationship that Mal and I had with our grandmother. I believed at that moment she thought about how she’d been missing out on all of our lives while she worked and went to school to further her education, in order to get a better paying job. If she only knew that I understood. We all did. We knew that she was just trying to make a better life for us in the absence of our father.

  The flash went off and nearly blinded me, snapping me out of my daze. “Ma, come over here,” I said, “and take this picture with us. You know without you there’d be no us.”

  “I couldn’t have said it any better myself,” Kamal followed up with.

  “We love you, Ma,” we both said as she got in between the two of us; and then we kissed her on opposite cheeks just as the flash was going off for a second time. I could taste the salt from my mother’s tears on the side of her face, but this time I knew they were tears of joy and not of pain, because today was a happy day for her, for all of us.

  “Ma, we’re gonna go say congratulations to Black and Shareef. We’ll be right back,” Mal told her.

  “Okay, but if you take any pictures tell Teresa and Tim I said I want copies.”

  “Reef, Black, what it is?” Mal shouted, as we all slapped five.

  “With grammar like that I don’t know how you graduated, kid,” Black said jokingly.

  “We did it, man!” Black boasted. “On to the next phase. You think we gonna make it another six years of this school shit?” he asked.

  “I don’t know about you two, but Mal and I owe it to our moms and grandmother, and to ourselves too, because we ain’t tryin’ to turn out like our dad; and you should be thinking the same way, ’cause your fathers ain’t no different,” I pointed out.

  “Yeah, I’m wit’ you on that, kid,” Black said, agreeing with me.

  “Yo, here comes Mustafa,” Reef interrupted.

  When we turned to look, Mu was standing there smiling. “Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about! Getting that education and takin’ some of these high-power jobs away from these white folks. You little brothers are the future,” Mu bellowed. “You young brothers have to break the cycle and show them that you’re not products of your environment. Just because you’re from the hood doesn’t mean that you have to be involved in what goes on in the hood. You brothers are the next presidents, senators, governors, mayors, lawyers, doctors, and teachers of the future. I’m proud of all four of you. It’s too late for me, but it’s not too late for you, so make it count.”

  Mu had been coming at Mal and me like that ever since that day we were in his car. He had become a father figure to us. We were already respected because of who our dad was, but we started receiving a different type of love from the hood once they saw that Mu took a liking to us.

  “Pardon me, little homies, while I rap with your boys right quick,” Mu said to Shareef and Black.

  “Yeah, Mu, no problem.” Both Black and Shareef nodded, before giving us pounds and hugs.

  “See y’all back in the hood,” Black said.

  “Bet,” Mal answered.

  Mu waited until they were gone before he spoke. “I hope you were listening to everything I was just sayin’ ’cause that was real. If I had the chance to get my education I would, but I’m too deep in the game now and ain’t no turning back for me. I quit school when I was younger than the two of you and since then I’ve been getting my education in the streets, the education of survival, that is. Nothing you can ever learn in any books you read will ever prepare you for the streets. You can only learn what I know by experience.

  “But this shit is not for y’all. Let’s hope that you don’t have to go through what me and your pops had to. I know if he were here he would be schoolin’ you the same way, and I got respect for him; that’s why I’m comin’ at you like this. Stay in school,” he ended as he handed us each envelopes; and then he walked off.

  Mal and I opened them at the same time. Inside were crisp hundred-dollar bills in each one, along with a key that was too small to belong to a car with a note that read:

  Meet me in the field tomorrow morning.

  The morning couldn’t come soon enough, as I tossed and turned in my bed, thinking about so many things. Kamal was sound asleep. I could hear him snoring from his bed. Flashes of the last time I had seen my dad flooded my thoughts. I could still see images of the pretty, light-skinned girl who changed my family’s life as we once knew it. I could see the tears that rolled down my mother’s face and I could still remember the words that my father said to her that were unconvincing, and the words that she said to him in return that convinced him that it was really over. I knew that I didn’t want to ever turn out like my dad and put my family through what he had put us through when I got older. That’s why I was determined to stay in school and do the right thing like Mustafa had said.

  “Kamal, wake up. It’s nine o’clock. Mu’s probably out there waiting for us.”

  “Oh, word. I almost forgot about that,” Mal said as he jumped out of the bed and went to the bathroom.

  “Hurry up, kid. I’m tryin’ to get down to the field,” I yelled. For as long as I could remember, Kamal had been slower than a turtle when it came to doing anything or going anywhere. He always moved as if time waited for him or something.

  * * *

  “Yo, I was beginning to think y’all ain’t want these damn things,” Mu said, standing in between two mopeds with ribbons on them.

  “Oh, snap! These joints are slammin’!” we both yelled as we ran over to the mopeds and hopped on them. We’d had an idea what the keys were for but to see them was another story.

  Hooked on the sides were helmets with our names written in cursive. “Mu, man, this is the best, kid,” I said to him, reaching my hand out to shake his.

  Instead, he grabbed it and pulled me of
f the bike, wrapped his arms around me, and said, “I got love for you little brothers. Y’all my hearts!”

  Something inside of me was triggered and I felt the love. No other man had made me feel that safe and loved since my dad. From that day on, I no longer looked at Mustafa as a drug dealer, but as a father figure and male role model instead, and I thought that Kamal felt the same way.

  “We got love for you too,” I said, speaking for the both of us.

  Mustafa stood there just staring at us strangely for a moment. “Y’all gonna be good for life,” he then said, wrapping his arms around the both of us. “I got y’all,” he added, before releasing us. I thought that day he had officially adopted us as his sons or little brothers.

  There was nothing else to be said. Mu hopped in his car, blew the horn at us, threw the peace sign out the window, and then he was gone.

  “Dag, Mu got a lot of love for us,” I said to my brother.

  “I was thinking the same thing.”

  “Yo, where we gonna keep these at?” I asked Kamal when Mu left.

  “Where else? At Ant’s crib,” he replied.

  * * *

  “Oh, shit, where you get these from?” Ant blurted out with an envious expression on his face.

  “Mu got them for us for graduation,” Mal answered.

  “Yo, that nigga Mu love you niggas. Either that or he groomin’ you to put you on the payroll,” Ant stated.

  “Man, like you said, he got a lot of love for us,” I snapped back, taking offense to what Ant had said. “He don’t even be comin’ at us like that on some hustlin’ for him stuff.”

  “I’m just sayin’.” Ant threw his hands up. “Mu got niggas our age now pumpin’ for him, so you never know, but if you say so then I’m wit’ you on that,” Ant responded, cleaning up what he had said, sensing that he had crossed the line with his last remark.

  “Yo, Ant, we need to stash these here until we find a place to put ’em. You know you can ride ’em whenever you want,” Mal told him.

  “You know you can leave ’em here, and I appreciate you telling me I can ride whenever I want, but I’m cool ’cause Terrance supposed to get me one as soon as he sells his old Caddy and get a new one, which should probably be this week. So this summer we should be ridin’ three the hard way through the hood on the west end and the east end, too.”

  Ant’s mentioning of the east end reminded me of what I had promised to do. I said peace to Ant, told my brother I’d see him when he got in, and then I headed home to make a phone call.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  “Hello? May I speak to Lisa please?”

  “This is she, who’s calling?”

  “This is Kamil, from the projects.”

  “I know who you are Kamil, you don’t have to say where you’re from,” she said laughing.

  “Oh, pardon me, it’s a habit. I guess a bad habit I picked up from being around my boys. And I’m not used to calling anybody’s house asking for a girl, either.”

  She laughed again. “Excuse me; I’m not laughing at you, only at what you said.”

  “I’m being honest, though. You’re the first girl I ever called.”

  “Really?” she asked, sounding surprised.

  “Yeah, I’m not playing.”

  “Well, then, I’m glad that I’m the first.”

  I didn’t know what to say, so I went into the reason why I really called. “I just wanted to let you know that my brother and I are coming to your pool party, but I was wondering if we could bring a friend?”

  “Yeah, that’s not a problem,” she quickly replied. “I’m just glad you decided to come.”

  I believed her because I could hear the excitement in her voice.

  “Can I say something without you taking it the wrong way?” she asked.

  “Sure, what’s up?”

  “You don’t sound like you’re from the projects.”

  Now it was my turn to laugh. “What does somebody from the projects sound like?”

  “I don’t know, it’s just that most of the guys in our school from there or from the west end period talk like they’re all big, bad, and too cool; but not you. You sound so calm and nice, even though you look cool and bad, but not big because you’re short.” I could tell that she was smiling through the phone when she made her last comment.

  “I understand what you mean,” I said to her. “My moms and my grandmother don’t tolerate any street talk, or any street anything for that matter in the house, so since I’m in the house more than I am in the streets, I focus on talking properly. When I’m around my boys, we all talk alike. I don’t really curse. My grandmother says people curse to substitute for words they don’t know, so she makes me and my brother and sisters study the dictionary. Besides, if she caught me swearing, she would wash my mouth out with soap, and I’m not joking, either.”

  Lisa chuckled. “Sounds like you have some good women raising you.”

  “Yeah, they’re the best.”

  “What about your dad?”

  “He’s locked up. I haven’t seen him since I was eight years old.”

  “Wow, that’s a long time.”

  “Yeah, but I have my moms and grandmother. Listen, I gotta go, but I’ll see you this weekend,” I said, in a hurry to get off the phone.

  “Okay, see you then. Nice talking to you.”

  “You too,” I ended. I didn’t understand why it bothered me so much to talk about my father or for someone to question me about him. I hated that my dad made me feel this way.

  * * *

  “Mal, I spoke to those shorties from the east end who are giving the pool party—well, one of them anyway—and I told her we were comin’ through, and we were bringin’ a friend. I thought, you, Ant, and me could roll up there on our bikes since Ant is gonna have his this weekend too. You wit’ it?”

  “Yeah, you know I’m down. I heard there’s some nice shorties up there we ain’t even seen yet.”

  Lately Kamal had been talking about girls, which was cool, but I had my mind on more important things, like a summer job so I could make some extra money to get me some fresh gear for the next school year. From the hundred dollars Mu gave me for graduation, I only spent ten of that, and that was because I was real hungry one day, so I still had ninety dollars of it saved up. Kamal said that he still had eighty of his. To be so young, we both knew how to manage money. I wondered if we had gotten that from our dad.

  * * *

  The pool party was on Saturday, and Ant got his bike on Friday. He zoomed past us showing off, beeping the horn. He made a U-turn, stopped in front of us, and jumped off his new bike.

  “It’s on now!” Ant bellowed, rolling up on us.

  “Yo, I just rode through downtown and I saw these fly-ass Hawaiian suits up in Jay Cee’s, in all flavors, for twenty-five bucks. If we get those we’ll be the flyest niggas at the party, what’s up?” Ant asked.

  “Man, I’m not tryin’ to waste no twenty-five dollars on no outfit to try to impress the east end heads,” I told him. I wasn’t trying to spend twenty-five dollars out of the ninety I had, leaving me with only sixty-five, for an outfit that would be out of style by the time I went back to school. Mu taught me that something like that would be hustling backward.

  Ant must’ve read my mind. “Yo, Mil, that’s nothing. There goes Mu right over there; ask him for fifty bucks for you and Mal. You know he’ll give it to you if you tell him what it’s for.”

  As much as I hated to admit it, Ant was right, but I didn’t want to look like I was begging or looking for some type of handout. I had never asked Mu for anything. He had always given without Mal or I having to ask.

  Mu was leaning on the front hood of his car talking to one of the older project chicks I had seen all the other hustlers trying to get with. “He’s over there busy anyway. I don’t wanna bust his groove,” I said to Ant, making an excuse so I didn’t have to ask.

  “Man, he ain’t never too busy for you and Mal. Let’s go over there and
see.” Ant was already making his way over to where Mu was posted up and Mal and I followed.

  When Mu saw us, he called for us to come over to where he and the chick he was talking to were. “Yo, young bloods, what it be like?” He gave us daps.

  “What up, Mu?” we all said.

  “Ay yo, Reece, these are my two hearts right here, Kamil and Kamal. They brothers, and this their partner Ant,” he introduced us.

  “I know Ant already; that’s Terrance li’l brother. I don’t know these two, though, but nice to meet you anyway,” she said. “Mu, they’re cute.”

  “Nice to meet you too and thank you,” we both said.

  “Hey, Reece,” Ant said.

  You could tell that she was older than Mu, but you still knew that he was in control.

  “You probably heard of their pops, Big Jay from New York,” Mu said proudly as if it were his own father he was speaking about. “Remember he used to be around here?”

  “Oh, yeah, that’s why they look familiar, and so cute. Their father was a handsome man and he had all the girls around here goin’ crazy,” she said, and then stopped as if she had said too much already. “How is Big Jay doin’ anyway?” She addressed me, trying to change the subject.

  “I don’t know. He locked up,” I said, no longer using the term “away.”

  “Tell him Reecie said hi when you speak to him.”

  “Yeah, okay,” I said, brushing her off.

  Mu sensed that I was bothered by what Reece had said about my dad, and he jumped in. “What’s up, kid?”

  “Nah, we ain’t mean to bother you, Mu, but me, Mal, and Ant are goin’ to this pool party tomorrow on the east and we—”

  I didn’t get to finish what I saying because he cut me off. “Say no more. How much you need?”

  “They got these Hawaiian suits downtown for twenty-five dollars and we wanted to bust them out at the party.”

  Mu smiled, pulled out his stack, gave me fifty dollars, gave Kamal fifty, and told us to buy two different flavors.

  “Thanks, Mu,” Mal and I said.

  “Don’t worry about that. What I told you before? If you need anything just ask, and anything means just that: anything! Consider that dough early school shoppin’ money. You know my boys gotta be the sharpest li’l niggas in the building. I got y’all before school start back, a’ight?”