Memoirs of an Accidental Hustler

by J. M. Benjamin

  “You lucky I ain’t shoot ya ass in the mouth for all the tough shit you talking.”

  “You niggas is a bunch of jokers and, Qua, you a coward. You ain’t got no backbone, nigga. How you gonna let these three chumps creep you?”

  “The same way you did, bitch!” Shareef said.

  “Nah, if this nigga ain’t set me up you niggas wouldn’t have never got this close to me without getting bodied, ’cause you niggas ain’t no killas. You probably didn’t even figure this shit out on ya own as slow as you niggas is. Somebody had to tip you off that knew this dopefiend-ass nigga.”

  “Fuck all the talking. We ain’t bring you here for no fuckin’ family reunion,” I said, getting heated because he thought he was so smart, like he had it all figured out.

  The whole time Qua remained quiet, still thinking that he may have a chance up out of this and get cut loose, especially with Black running his mouth like he was, taking all the weight for everything.

  Mal finished taping Black to the chair and came over by us.

  “So now what? You gonna shoot us like we shot them two screamin’-ass niggas.”

  “Yo, Black, how’d it get to this, man?” Mal asked. “Them was ya boys, ya family, and you just took their lives without any remorse.”

  “Nigga, save the speeches for when you become president. What happened was all a part of the game. You gotta get yours by any means. They had it and I needed it, so I had to get it, cut and dried.”

  Shareef ran over to him and started pouring gasoline all over his body. “Well, now you all wet, muthafucka, and this is all a part of the game too, just like your soul. You gonna burn in hell tonight, nigga.”

  Black must’ve thought he was going to get a quick and easy death, because when Shareef said what he said about burning, his whole facial expression changed. “Oh, that’s how it’s going down?” Black said.

  We all just looked at him as Shareef flicked his lighter. “Yeah, that’s how it’s going down, chump.”

  Whoosh! The fire took to the gas instantly. You could hear Black’s cries all over the city, as the flames went ablaze. I tried to stand there and watch, but as his skin began to melt, I had to turn away before I vomited. The look on Qua’s face was indescribable, as Shareef walked over to him.

  “Please, Shareef, don’t do me like that, baby boy. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it,” he cried.

  “Confess ya sins in hell, nigga!”

  Whoosh!

  The flames caught just as quick as Black did. We left them there to burn, and now our dawgs could rest in peace.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE

  I woke up in a cold sweat from the nightmares that had been haunting me for the past few months. They were the same ones every night. Pictures of Black and Quadir burning, standing in my room door. Images of Ant and Trevor slumped over in the chairs, gunshots going off. I hadn’t had a good night sleep since then.

  “Mal, let’s bounce to VA and cool out down there for a little bit,” I suggested.

  “Man, we can’t just breeze like that right now. Too much stuff going on and we been spending a lot of paper lately anyway. Between that loss we took on that last brick and me copping another whip, that’s over forty Gs we put out just this last month alone, not including the fifteen you lost down in Atlantic City and the miscellaneous Gs we’ve been spendin’ just partyin’ and shit without doin’ any hustlin’. We been takin’ out but ain’t been puttin’ back in for the last three months or so.”

  “Mal, you actin’ like we ain’t got paper or somethin’.”

  “That’s not the point; the point is we hustlin’ backward. We ain’t got nobody on the block right now. You be with Lisa most of the time and I be with Keya, and you know we be spending when we with them. We both been on some lazy shit and we gots to tighten up.”

  I felt where Mal was coming from, because we had been spending excessively lately. Honestly, I was getting tired of all of it, the partying, the hustling, the chicks, just everything and it was beginning to take a toll on me. I didn’t have the same energy in me that I had three years ago. Everything Mu warned me about the game was coming to pass.

  “Yo, I know what you sayin’ and I agree, but it ain’t nothin’ to go out there and hit ’em hard for the next couple of months. Let’s go out there and hug the block until summer hit, and then take a trip to check Mu out. You know next week is my born day. Lisa wants to go to New York to some Broadway show and out to eat. After that, we can rock out until school lets out, because I really wanted to go away for graduation, like Cancun or somewhere. Speaking of New York, who turn is it to pick up, mine or yours?”

  “Nigga, you know it’s on you. I went last week.”

  “Oh, yeah, all right. I’ll go after my birthday. By then we should be done with everything we got left.”

  “Bet.”

  CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX

  This was my first time going to a show on Broadway, or any play for that matter, but it was all right. Lisa told me her parents took her to shows all the time. I had seen the commercial for the musical Cats a million times on television and I thought that it would be fly to check it out, but I never actually thought that I would get to see it.

  Lisa made the reservations at Tavern on the Green in Central Park for us to eat at, which was cool because they had decent food. I had been there a few times before. Lisa was looking exceptionally good tonight with her Toni Braxton hairstyle, a turtleneck sweater, a long denim skirt, and some high leather boots. Although you could tell that she had matured over the years, she still looked like she did when we were in the sixth grade. After dinner we took a carriage ride through the park. Now that shit was really nice. That’s one of the things I liked about Lisa. She always turned me on to new things, just like things that I might’ve overlooked or neglected.

  “Thank you for a nice birthday evening.”

  “You don’t have to thank me, Kamil. You’re welcome anyway, but it’s not over yet.”

  “What you mean it ain’t over yet? It’s past twelve a.m. already, so technically I’m eighteen and one day old now,” I said, smiling.

  “Shut up, boy. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about we’re not done celebrating your birthday,” she said.

  Something in my heart and in my mind gave me an idea what she was about to say.

  “My parents went away for the weekend and I want to be with you.”

  I didn’t know what to say.

  “Did you hear me, Kamil?”

  “Yeah, I heard you, but are you sure?”

  “What do you mean am I sure? I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

  “Wow, that’s deep.”

  “That’s how you make me feel. I can’t describe it, but I know how I feel about you.”

  Again I didn’t know what to say. Our carriage ride ended and we were on our way back to Jersey. The whole ride back home Lisa slept. I thought the Long Island Iced Tea she had put her out because she wasn’t a drinker. She only drank it because it was my birthday and she wanted to toast with a real drink.

  So many thoughts were going through my mind as I drove. This was a long time coming and I wanted it to be as perfect as it could be.

  “Lisa, wake up, we’re at your house.”

  “Huh? Oh, okay. Sorry for going to sleep on you, but that drink had me feeling a li’l funny.”

  “That’s all right, long as I made it home without dozing off and killin’ us.” We went inside. “Where’s the light switch at?” I asked.

  “What for? We’re not staying down here anyway, we going upstairs; just give me your hand.”

  She flicked the TV on with her remote and her room lit up. This was my first time ever being in her room. It was nice and neat, and very feminine. She had stuffed animals all around with posters and pictures on the walls. When I looked on her mirror she had the picture that we took in eighth grade at graduation; and there were a few club flicks that I had taken throughout the years and had forgotten about that I
had either given to her or she stole from me.

  “Damn! You still got this graduation picture?”

  “Yeah! I love that picture.”

  “Nah, I look crazy, and you looking cheesy.”

  “Ha! Ha! Ha! Very funny.” She pulled the sweater over her head and began to unzip her skirt. “I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be back.” Her body looked firm from the back, with her milk chocolate complexion. I smiled as she walked off, covering herself. “Don’t be looking at my butt, either.”

  I hit the radio on as I turned the television down. She had it on WBLS but nothing was on. She really didn’t have any tapes, either, besides Keith Sweat’s first one, which was a classic, so I popped it in and hit rewind. I could hear the shower running from her room. Instead of pushing play on the tape player, I stripped down and went into the bathroom.

  “Boy!” she said.

  “What?”

  “You scared me.” She was standing there all soapy, covering her breasts.

  “Let me see that rag,” I said as I stepped in the tub. I began washing her body. Even through the washcloth her skin felt smooth. I lathered her up from head to toe and then she rinsed off. She took the rag from me and rinsed it out, then began washing me. I had never had a woman bathe me before, and it felt good.

  After I rinsed, I pulled her closer to me, pressing her body against mine; then I started kissing her. I had one arm around her waist and the other between her thighs as I tried to put a finger inside of her. She flinched at the touch of my hand as her body refused to let my finger penetrate her. I removed my hand and cupped her left breast as I kissed, licked, and sucked the right one. She moaned, reaching down between my legs and grabbing hold of me. Between the water and the softness of her hand I felt like I was going to explode right then and there, but that wasn’t how I wanted things to go.

  “Let’s dry off,” I told her.

  We stepped out and began to dry one another off. My heart was pounding and I was trying to calm down. I could feel hers through the towel, too.

  I popped the tape on as soon we entered the room. “You may be young but you ready.” Keith Sweat’s voice filled the air.

  Lisa was standing there with her towel on. I slid the towel from her body, and let mine fall to the floor, while kissing her on the forehead, nose, and on both of her cheeks. Then I began sucking on her ear.

  “Ooh, Kamil,” she said as I blew into her ear gently with my warm breath, and then inhaled so she could feel the cool air. Her body began to squirm each time my lips touched a part of her. I put my hand between her thighs again and pressed my finger inside of her. This time she felt moist and hot as my middle finger slid inside of her. “Um!” she cooed as she tensed up.

  “I got you,” I told her, slowly moving my finger in and out.

  I started sucking on her breasts, her stomach, and her sides, and then I parted her legs and sucked her there, too. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but I think she was calling out my name. She dug her fingers into my hair and clamped on. I kept sucking and licking until I felt her legs begin to shake, and I knew she had an orgasm. I came back up and kissed her, and then I entered her.

  “Ssss!” She arched her back, trying to ease the pain. The moistness between her legs made it a little more bearable. I widened her legs, and started stroking as lightly as I could, but it was no use because she was a virgin, so either way it was going to be painful, but pleasurable. With the exception of how wet she became, she was so tight that it felt like a suction cup gripped me. I tried speeding up my rhythm to loosen her up and I felt her reach another orgasm. I couldn’t hold on any longer as I sped up my pace. Then as if on cue, we both climaxed together. I just lay there and I could feel her muscles squeezing me.

  “Oh, my God!”

  “What? You all right?”

  “Yeah, but I just saw stars.” She exhaled.

  I didn’t know what she was talking about. “What?” I asked.

  “I seen stars just now when we were making love.”

  I started laughing. “You crazy. You ain’t seen no stars.”

  “How you gonna tell me? I know what I saw.”

  I lay beside her. “You’re right.”

  She started laughing too. “I never felt like that before.” She slid up under me and laid her head on my chest, then looked up at me and said, “I love you.”

  I kissed her on her forehead and told her that I loved her too, only this time I really meant it. She fell asleep on me.

  * * *

  When I got in Mal was already up. “Damn, nigga, ’bout time you brought ya ass home. You must’ve had a good-ass birthday.”

  “Word! I did. What you do last night?” I asked him. “Probably had one of them stankin’-ass chicks up in here.”

  “Chill!” he said, whispering. “Keya in the back, nigga.”

  “Oh, my bad, yo,” I said, laughing, “You talk all that shit though like you got it on lock.”

  “Fuck you, Mil. Yo, you ready? ’Cause I got this dough all counted out for you.”

  “Yeah, that’s why I came here anyway. I’m going just like this dirty dick and all.”

  “Oh, word, it popped off with you and wifey?”

  “Yo, that’s my heart forever, kid. That shit wasn’t like no other experience I ever had with a girl. That was definitely my first time making love, no frontin’, know what I’m sayin’?”

  “Yeah, I’m with you, bro. That’s how I feel about Keya.”

  “Yo, how much we flippin’?”

  “You know we ain’t got nothin’ and this the week we gonna be grindin’ hard. We should be able to get a brick and a half with that. You got money on you to get the bottles and shit?”

  “Yeah, I’m good.”

  “Here, take the Jeep ’cause that car is too flashy and it’s too cold for the bike.”

  “All right, gimme a minute to use the bathroom.”

  * * *

  I hit the alarm on the Jeep, got in, and threw the book bag with the dough in it on the passenger’s side floor. “I should go snatch up one of the shorties from the projects to take this ride with me,” I said to myself.

  Just as I was about to put the key in the ignition I saw a big van behind me through the rearview mirror, and then I heard those unforgettable words: “Freeze! Don’t move! Put your hands where I can see them!”

  I knew who it was. I was trying to figure out which one they wanted me to do: freeze don’t move, or put my hands where they could see them.

  The Jeep door opened and when I looked I saw the black officer with his DEA hat on and badge around his neck. They had the Jeep surrounded.

  “Step out of the truck slowly with your hands on top of your head.”

  I complied, as he spun me around telling me to put my hands on the Jeep while kicking my legs apart. I almost did a spilt.

  “You got any weapons on you?” he asked me.

  “No, I don’t carry a weapon, Officer.”

  “Sure you don’t, Mr. Benson,” he said dryly. After frisking me he grabbed my hands and cuffed me behind my back all rough, and then put me to the ground on my stomach.

  “What the hell is this?” I yelled.

  “Be quiet,” I heard one of the other officers say.

  I thought they had raided our house, but when I looked over I saw Kamal at the window peeking out the curtain, so I was confused. One of the officers said, “He had a bag in his hand when he came out. It was a black book bag with the New York money.”

  “What am I under arrest for?” I asked.

  “A lot of things,” he said. “You’ll find out when you get to the station.”

  “Whoa! Would you look at this!” the other officer said. “I wonder where you were going with all this.”

  “Shopping,” I said.

  “Yeah! I bet. For what?” he asked sarcastically.

  I didn’t say anything.

  * * *

  I had been charged with three secret indictments, which meant I had
served an undercover cop at least three different times, or I served three different officers three times. On top of that, they were threatening to charge me with four murders: Ant’s, Trevor’s, Black’s, and Qua’s. I knew they were fishing and didn’t have nothing, because if they did they wouldn’t have ever brought Ant’s and Trevor’s names up to me, knowing that they were my boys. And if they knew something I wouldn’t be the only one down at the station right now.

  “Excuse me, can you tell me what my bail is so I can make a phone call?”

  “As of now you have no bail,” the female booking officer said. “They haven’t sent down the additional charges yet.”

  “For what?”

  “For the currency found in your possession.”

  “What?” I jumped up. “Man, they buggin’ the fuck out.”

  “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to have a seat in there.”

  I sat in the bullpen and waited.

  “Mil, what up?” someone lying in the corner said.

  “Who dat?” I turned around.

  “It’s me, Charlie.” He was one of the customers who came around the way running a lot of sales.

  “Oh, what up, Charlie?”

  “Man, you think you can help me out? My bail is only a hundred dollars for an old warrant. You know I’m good for it. I’ll come around the projects and work it off as soon as I get it.”

  He got me mad. “Nigga, what the fuck is you talking about? I don’t be around no projects; don’t be talking no stupid shit to me.”

  He looked confused, and then it must’ve dawned on him. “My bad, man. I thought you was somebody else.”

  “Yeah, no problem,” I said.

  “Mr. Benson. Kamil Benson.”

  “Yes?”

  “Your family just called asking about your charges and your bail, and I explained to them what I told you. I was just told that you won’t be getting bail tonight, and that you’d be transported to the county jail.”

  “Oh, shit!” I laughed. They waited until I turned eighteen before they came and arrested me, so they could get more money up out of me.

  The booking officer looked at me like she felt sorry for me. I had never been locked up before. The closest I ever came to the county jail was riding past it, but now here it was I was actually about to visit the inside of it. I wasn’t scared or anything because I probably knew more than half the guys in there or they knew me; besides that it wasn’t no different from the streets, and I held my own out there so I knew I could hold my own in there.