by Jane Keeler
“Pfft!” She complained spitting out a mouthful of wet grass.
“John! Jack! Come back here this instant!” Of course the dogs had run straight to the big dog and made instant friends. They were all walking in circle sniffing each other out, while the owner walked towards Melissa to help her up. Of course, as fate would have it, the owner of the big dog turned out to be gorgeous. He held out his hand and lifted her up.
“So who’s taking who for a walk?” He asked.
“I ask myself that question many times. They’re very forceful for such little dogs. How do you manage yours?”
“Oh he’s very lazy for such a big dog. I’m Ryan, by the way.”
“Melissa. And that’s Long John Silver and Sir Jack.”
“Mine’s called Slug. Seriously, he was lazy even as a puppy.”
“SLUG! You’re cute. Uh… I mean the name is cute. The name.” Melissa realized she had gone as pink as her shoes and quickly tried to laugh the situation off.
“I’ll tell Slug you like his name! And… thank you.”
“I’m a mess today. Would you like to go on a date?”
“Uh… excuse me?”
“Oh dear. I’m out of control. I’m sorry. I was meant to flirt and then wait for you to ask me. But somehow I just ended up blurting that out without wanting to.”
Thankfully Ryan was laughing. “You flatter me. Thank you very much for the kind and lovely offer Melissa. I can’t though. I’m actually married. Thomas and I have been together for three years now.”
THOMAS! “Oh my goodness. I am such an idiot. And a very embarrassed one at that. No wonder I can’t meet a man.”
“Actually, you’re very cute, and very endearing. I’m surprised you don’t have a man.”
“Are you sure you have to be married?”
“Married and gay! Double whammy. But if I wasn’t then I’d totally have said yes.”
“You flatter me.”
“I speak only of the truth. Now, would you like to walk with me? Seems our dogs have become the best of friends.”
Melissa laughed and agreed. As they walked they talked and Melissa found Ryan incredibly easy to talk to. It was almost as if she was talking to Carol, only as someone that barely knew her he was able to look at things with a new perspective. Somehow, somewhere, she ended up telling him all about her 30 day plan.
“I LOVE THIS IDEA! So… was talking to me today part of your plan? Did you plan the whole fall on the grass thing too?”
“Finding a cute guy at the park was definitely part of the plan, but falling on the grass while doing it was certainly not.”
“So what’s next on the agenda?”
“I don’t know. To be honest I’m not sure if I want to carry on with it all. Today was a disaster.”
“Don’t be daft. You met me! So it must be a good day. And I have an idea anyway. Please let me set you up on a blind date! Please!”
Melissa laughed. Being around Ryan was contagious. “Okay! But only because I’m desperate for ideas and I cannot bear the thought of my friend Carol setting me up again. I’m putting my faith in you though Ryan. Don’t disappoint me!”
Ryan practically jumped up with delight and a date was all set for the following evening.
Chapter 3
“You found another friend? I’m hurt. So hurt!” Carol was complaining to Melissa after she told her the whole park story.
“Now, now, you always told me to spread my wings. Anyway, I told him all about you and he’s dying to meet you.”
“Naturally.” She said and huffed. Then she laughed, “Just kidding, he sounds delightful actually. And he’s setting you up on a date. I like him already! So, when’s the date?”
“Tonight. It’s at that Italian restaurant you and Mark always go to. I’m meeting him there at 7pm. Ryan organized the whole thing. So I have no idea what to expect. All I know is to go to table four and wait for him. I’m so nervous. I mean, even though set you set me up with some disasters, at least they were good to look at. Ryan has no idea what my taste is. This could go bad!”
“Or it could go brilliantly. Either way – you’ll have a story.”
“I’ll have a story!” Melissa repeated to make herself feel better.
“Phone me later, okay?”
“I promise.”
Figuring out what to wear each day was starting to become a problem. Melissa had become far too used to staying in pajamas each night, and now that she actually had things to do and people to see, she realized that she barely owned any nice clothes at all. She made a promise to get herself some new clothes the next day. In the meantime, she settled on a black dress that was short enough to seem sexy but long enough not to be slutty. It was a safe bet and she knew that she looked good in it. Then again, she realized with horror, it had been her mother who had told her that. She hoped it wasn’t like those mothers who tell their children they have voices like angels and send them off to audition for Idols only to be mocked by the judges for a voice akin to nails scratched on a chalkboard. Nevertheless, it was too late and Melissa quickly put it out of her mind and made her way to the restaurant.
When she arrived she found her way to table number 4 and looked around. She had a brief moment of panic when she thought that Carol and Mark might be hiding close by to spy on her. This was one of their favorite restaurants and Carol was completely open about her nosiness. But thankfully the coast seemed clear. Melissa ordered a glass of wine and waited and took a grateful sip when it arrived.
“Liquid inspiration?” The voice came from the side and when she turned she saw a good looking man in dark jeans and a white shirt smiling at her.
“Uh… are you my date?” She asked nervously, desperate to take another sip without looking like an alcoholic.
“That would be me. Hi I’m Bryan. Yes, yes, Ryan has set you up with a man called Bryan. I consider myself to be the better of the two of us of course.”
“Well naturally,” Melissa concurred, “You have an extra B in your name. If I were to meet a ‘Lisa’ I’d be the same. Only I’d have an extra M, E and L on top of hers!”
Bryan burst out laughing. “Ryan told me that you were funny. So, what are we drinking?”
“I’m so sorry. I’d love to tell you that I never drink when I’m nervous. But I’d be lying. I figured a few sips of red wine would keep me from looking like a total idiot right away. I don’t think it’s working though.”
“I’ll join you then. We can be idiots together.” Bryan got straight to business and ordered a bottle of wine rather than a simple glass and the two of them cheered to the awkwardness of a blind date. Bryan was lovely, and within half an hour Melissa felt herself relax around him. He was funny, polite and very interesting. Also, he had a love of cheese that was completely in line with hers and after their cheese soufflé starter they both ordered the steak with cheese sauce.
“Will you end off with cheesecake then?” She asked.
“Oh but of course. How about we make this the cheesiest date ever?”
It was only when they were waiting for their dessert that Melissa noticed that Bryan had already ordered three bottles of wine and was almost finished with the third bottle. Melissa had ordered the first glass herself and Bryan had poured her a glass out of his second bottle. But that was all that she had consumed so far that evening. Two glasses of wine. And yet, there were three empty bottles on the table. She had barely noticed it because Bryan did not seem drunk in the slightest; although now that she was aware of all the alcohol she noticed that he was talking a lot more than he had been from the start. His voice was also much louder than it had been when he had first arrived. At first she had thought he was trying to talk above the music but the music had been turned down ages ago and he was still loud. Very loud. It was like a switch had been turned on for Melissa and the more that she looked at Bryan the more drunk he seemed to be.
“Do you normally drink this much? This is your third bottle.” She said, picking up the bottle of wine and glarin
g into it to see what was left. It was almost empty. She realized she was sounding like a disapproving wife or mother but she couldn’t care. This was just not something that she was okay with.
“Oh I love my wine! But it’s okay, I don’t have a problem or anything. It’s just the way I am. People are always telling me that I drink too much but I’m used to hearing that now. They just don’t understand me. You know, some people can handle their alcohol and others can’t. I’m lucky enough to be one of the guys that can. What about you? Drink much?”
“I actually don’t drink much when I’m at home. I’m not a big fan of drinking alone. But I love a glass of wine or two when I’m out for dinner and I enjoy a good cocktail with my best friend every so often. Truthfully I’m probably more of a coffee drinker than anything else. Speaking of, should we get a cup? I know some people can’t sleep when they drink coffee at night, but that’s not a problem for me. It’s the perfect way to end off a mean I say.”
“Coffee? Are you crazy? But we’ve only just begun. The night is still young and coffee is a sure way to end that. Come on, one more glass of wine with me!”
“No ways, I’ve had enough. I love coffee after a meal anyway. Are you driving home?”
“I am. And don’t you worry about it – I’ll be right as rain. Like I said, I can handle my alcohol better than most. Waiter! Waiter – over here.” Bryan called the waiter over. “Please could I have a glass of wine, and don’t be shy. And one for the lady please.”
“No, no. Just a cup of coffee for me.” She wasn’t too impressed that he had ignored the fact that she had already said she didn’t want any more wine.
Bryan looked at her and shrugged, “Suit yourself.” And just like that she wanted to go home. Thankfully the coffee came quickly and Melissa drank it fast. She then made her excuses and left before Bryan could try convince her otherwise. The moment she got home she messaged Ryan.
So… Bryan was awesome.
Yeah?! That’s brilliant news. I knew you would like him. Came the reply.
That was until he drank three bottles of wine and then scoffed at me wanting a cup of coffee at the end. Oh and he was driving home! You set me up with a drunk!
The phone rang. “Melissa, I’m so sorry. I haven’t seen Bryan out socially in years. He always liked drinking but I honestly didn’t know it was that bad. I’m so sorry! Someone told me he had a drinking problem once but I laughed it off because I’ve never really seen it myself. Was he bad? Did he do anything stupid? Argh, I feel stupid now.”
Melissa sighed, “No, he wasn’t all that bad and he didn’t do anything stupid. Well, I left before anything stupid happened. I’m sure he was only one drink away from that to be honest. But if he does that on date number one than I can’t bear to think what he’s like when he’s not trying so hard to please me. He was really nice, but I had an alcoholic uncle and I just can’t be around someone like that. Not romantically at least. Pity, because I was actually starting to like him at the start.”
“I’m so sorry my love. Can I try again? I’m sure I will have much better luck the next time round. I have a few more candidates in mind.”
“Ah, not just yet Ryan. I’m too full and too tired to think about anything right now. But don’t worry – this was still far better than any other blind date I’ve been on. Improvements are happening.”
After that Melissa quickly phoned Carol and filled her in on the evening. Melissa could swear that Carol seemed almost pleased that Ryan hadn’t beaten her in the blind date game.
***
The next day Melissa woke up and remembered her lack of clothes situation and decided to go shopping. At the same time she figured she’d try to meet a man at a coffee shop. I’ll kill two birds with one stone! And she pattered herself on her back for such a great idea.
At the shops Melissa tried on outfit after outfit until she walked away with a pretty dress, a sexy dress, some good but comfortable clothes for everyday wear, and some active wear. She also got herself some new underwear although she wasn’t sure if any man was even though to see her wearing it. She’d always been the sensible underwear type of girl but today she was all lace and grace! She snuck off to the restroom and changed into her new panties and bra and then giggled as she walked out. To the outside world she looked no different, but having a change of underwear had suddenly made her feel as if she could take on the world.
“Melissa!”
Melissa turned and saw Matthew standing in front of her. He looked even better looking from the first time she had seen him and she cursed herself for being so attracted to him.
“Matthew! Fancy seeing you here. Doing some shopping?”
“I am, but I was just about to have a coffee break. Want to join?”
“Sure.” Okay, so it wasn’t quite what she had planned to do today but she couldn’t help herself. Perhaps she’d find out the imperfections from Mr. Perfect today.
“You look different.” He said to her, squinting his eyes and scrutinizing her.
Well I have sexy underwear on, she wanted to say, but instead she just smiled and shrugged.
They ordered coffee and Melissa noted that the conversation flowed just as easily as it had the other night. She thought back to her date the previous night as well glad that she was able to simply enjoy a cup of coffee with Matthew without being scorned at.
“You really do look different.” He said again.
“Well this is how I normally look. My unglamorous self! Perhaps I should’ve tried a bit harder.”
“It suits you. You look beautiful. There is no need to try.”
“Oh you flatter me. Let me guess, you’re after another cup of coffee and you’re too lazy to go up and get it yourself.”
“You know me too well. It’s true – I’m a coffee whore.”
“Well what do you know, so am I!”
Three coffees and one shared croissant later and Melissa realized that she had completely forgotten about her mission for the day. She thought of flirting with the barista but he looked to be about seventeen.
Oh well, I’ll just count this one as experience then.
“What exactly is wrong with Matthew then?” Carol was saying to her later that day. She’d stopped by to get some gossip on her way home from work.
“Nothing is wrong with him.”
“Hmm… and yet you refuse to admit that you like him. You really do drive me insane sometimes you know.”
“He’s just too perfect, Carol. And I refuse to fall for him and discover all his nastiness later. No, we’re just mates. Actually we’re just acquaintances. I have no plans of seeing him again, and tomorrow I have a date at the bar!”
“Alone?”
“All alone!”
“My oh my! How far you have come little grasshopper.”
Chapter Four
Melissa hadn’t been to a bar in years. She actually didn’t realize that until she walked in and felt completely out of place. She tried to remember if she had ever felt at home in a bar the way some people did but she didn’t think so. Even when she was young and naïve she still craved the comfort of home and pajamas. Back then, though, she would never actually admit that to anyone. It wasn’t cool to stay at home in your early twenties. So she’d put on clothes that were too tight, wear too much make up and try to sound at least somewhat intellectual about world matters. Then she’d realize that the only thing the boys wanted to hear was her telling them that she was ready to put out and she’d make some excuse and go home. Then, she’d put her pajamas back on, grab a tub of ice cream and sigh with relief. Today she was wearing tight black jeans, an emerald shirt and heels and looking around she noticed that she was probably the most dressed out of the women in the bar. She’d tried to go for ‘classy’ but now she wondered if she didn’t just look old. Short skirts and cleavage seemed to be all the rage in this part of town. She considered leaving but remembered her promise to herself for seeing the night through and made her way to the bar. Just two drinks and t
wo hours – if nothing happens then I’ll go. That was the promise she had given to herself. Two hours seemed doable and if she didn’t meet anyone than at least she’d have two hours to people watch, one of her favorite past time activities.
“What can I get you?” the barmen asked. She suddenly had no idea what to order. The only thing she ever drank was red wine or home-made cocktails with Carol. They gave their own names to the cocktails too and she knew that if she ordered a ‘red danger’ or a ‘blue floozy’ the barmen would have no idea what she was talking about. She wasn’t even sure what went into a red danger or a blue floozy anyway, because her and Carol changed their cocktails according to what Melissa had in her fridge that day.
“Uh… what do you recommend?”
The barmen looked at her again and laughed, “Don’t come to a bar often?”
“You got me.”
“Well what do you normally drink?”
“Red wine.”
“Then red wine it is. Why change yourself?”
And just like that Melissa wanted to marry the barmen. Of course, he had one eye on the drink and another on a very scantily dressed bar lady next to him, but nevertheless she felt grateful that he hadn’t made her feel even more out of place than she already did. He handed her the glass and she took a grateful sip. She was just about to say something to him when she saw that he was already lip locked in with the bar lady. She quickly looked away – public affection had always made her feel uncomfortable. Instead Melissa sat watching the crowd grow larger and increasingly more drunk. Watching from an outsider’s point of view actually made her feel ill and she put her glass of wine down, suddenly not in the mood to drink. What am I doing here? This is so not me. She got up to leave and decided that this was just not the type of place she wanted to meet a man. But as she got up to leave she bumped straight into someone.
