CHEAP SMUT: Four Erotic Romance Novels (Boxed Set)

by Scott Hildreth

  “Double vodka and a can of Red Bull when ya get a minute,” I said as I sat down on the bar stool.

  “Be just a second,” the bartender said over her shoulder.

  Turn around so I can get a good look at ya.

  No more than a thirty second wait later, and she slid a can of Red Bull and a glass of vodka in front of me. Half zoned-out and listening to Peter Gabriel’s Solsbury Hill, I glanced up and blinked as my eyes attempted to come into focus.

  God damn....

  Cute as absolute fuck, probably tipping the scales at a hundred and ten pounds, and all of five foot three, the bartender had perfect complexion, smooth skin, beautiful green eyes, and fire engine red hair with two purple stripes – in the front. A definitive line across the center of her head from left to right separated the back half of her hair, which was brown. The entire multi-color scheme of unnatural hair colors repulsed me.

  I puckered my face like I’d just bit into a lemon and turned away.

  God damned waste of a fine lookin’ girl if you ask me.

  I reached over my shoulder, fumbled for my glass of vodka, and relaxed as I finally felt the cool glass in my hand. As I took a drink and tried to wash the sight of her from my mind, Otis stepped into the bar.

  Otis was a strange man. Satisfied by simply living life, he wasn’t a typical biker, nor was he a typical man. He didn’t have an Ol’ Lady, only had a girlfriend during his high school years, and never took the time – or had the desire – to try and pick up women. He was definitely one of the club’s strong points, and was often the man a brother would go to in a time of need. His advice was well thought out, never pre-prepared, and always considerate of who it was that was receiving it. The fact he wanted to meet me to talk had me a little concerned, but only a little.

  I stood from the bar stool and opened my arms. “Big O, what’s shakin’?”

  “Just needing to unwind. Let’s go over and sit in one of those booths, I don’t need the bartender listening to what we’re talking about,” he said as he tilted his head toward the booth on the other side of the bar.

  I patted him on the back and turned toward the bar. “No argument from me, that stool is as hard as a wedding day cock.”

  I grabbed my vodka and Red Bull, anxious to get away from the walking box of crayons behind the bar.

  “Place don’t seem the same without Avery and that other chick workin’, does it?” I asked as we walked toward the booth.

  “Sure doesn’t,” Otis said as he sat down.

  The night we all met Avery, Otis staged a fight between Toad and Pete. Hell, Toad was kickin’ the absolute shit out of Pete, and I had no idea why. Toad will fight a man just for the sake of doin’ it, but fightin’ one of your brothers generally requires a good reason. Come to find out later Otis set it up just so Slice could see how the poor gal handled the outburst.

  That damned Avery is good for Slice, no doubt about it. She keeps him grounded, and his mood swings are almost non-existent now. Personally, I don’t need a woman to keep me grounded, but for some of the fellas, it’s a necessity. Although I never would have guessed Slice would be one of those fellas, I was pleased to see him commit to Avery, and more pleased to see how he changed after they moved in together.

  The big tittied friend of Avery’s was a totally different story, and nothing short of a sexual train wreck. As I laughed to myself at the thought of her, I leaned forward and grinned. “Sure you heard about Corn Dog and that poor girl who worked here, huh?”

  “I’ve heard some, yeah,” Otis agreed.

  “They’re inseparable now. He’s been fuckin’ that poor girl six ways from Sunday. Talked to him after the meeting the other day. Said he’s been schooling her on sucking cock, and it sounds like she’s got quite the sexual appetite. Anyway, he’s making up for the five years of lost time he spent in the joint,” I said.

  Otis seemed a little off his game. He slowly nodded his head as he looked beyond me and into the bar. “I’m sure he is.”

  As he waved his hand in the air, I continued. “You know, every one of the fellas is fascinated by that girl’s big fucking titties. But me? I’m fascinated with the fact Toad wrapped her head in god damned Saran Wrap, fucked her until she was damned near dead, and then took her to the Dog’s house, dropped her off, and she ain’t fuckin’ left yet. Hell, until the Toad dropped her off, she’d never met Corn Dog.”

  “I’ll take a couple of Michelob Ultras and bring him another can of Red Bull and a few iced double vodkas,” Otis said as the waitress walked up.

  I turned and glanced over my shoulder toward the waitress. Tall and far beyond gorgeous, she appeared to be in her mid-twenties and all of damned near six foot tall. If I was a guessing man, I would guess she was one of Avery’s volleyball sisters from the college.

  The waitress grinned as she shifted her eyes from Otis to me. “Sounds good. You guys aren’t going to shoot the place up, are you?”

  “We might after we get a few drinks in us,” I said with a grin.

  She glanced over at Otis and studied him for a long minute. Knowing Otis wasn’t going to make a move on this girl, and feeling like I damned sure needed to, I cleared my throat.

  “God damn…” I said as I shifted my eyes up and down her frame.

  “What?” she snapped back as she turned to face me.

  “Your eyes. They’re the craziest blue I ever seen,” I responded.

  She shrugged her shoulders. “Contacts.”

  Colored contact lenses, I had a little experience with them and it wasn’t good. In fact, it kind of freaked me out at first. I never understood why a person felt a need to try and be someone or something they weren’t. My eyes were hazel, and I never had a desire to have them be anything but what God gave me.

  “Figures,” I grunted as I shifted in my seat.

  “Be back in a minute,” she said.

  I leaned forward and shook my head. “Nothin’ against the Dog, but I wonder about that fuckin’ girl, Sloan. Damned thing can’t have a lick of proper upbringing in her. Personally, I wouldn’t fuck her with Pete’s cock, and he’s a nasty fucker. Corn Dog’s pounding that shit like each day’s his last, so I guess I’ll say good for him; and from what he was sayin’ she’s become mighty fine at sucking cock. Oh, shit, I almost forgot, I got a story to tell ya.”

  Otis grinned and nodded his head. He generally listened to my stories and seemed to enjoy them, even if he’d heard them before. As I started to tell my tale, I couldn’t immediately remember if I’d told him in the past.

  “So, speaking of suckin’ cock, there was this girl; she gave the best fuckin’ head ever. Damned thing was like a trained professional, and probably should have had a college course on how to properly suck a cock. She could take my meat all the way to the balls, stick out her god damned tongue, and curl it around my nut sack without missin’ a beat,” I said.

  He grinned and waited for more.

  “So, this bitch had the most beautiful blue eyes. And, because she had no gag reflex, I could fuck this girl’s mouth just like I was fuckin’ a pussy. Anyway, when I’d pound her throat with my cock, I’d look down into her eyes, and after she bat those long lashes and revealed those damned eyes a few times, I’d just explode. She knew her eyes were my biggest weakness, and she was right.” I ran my fingers through my beard.

  He leaned into the table and waited for more.

  “So one night, she’s down on her knees, and she’s going to town on my cock. Just a slurpin’ and a suckin’ like this one’s her last. Hell, I’m lookin’ up at the ceiling like I got no interest in watchin’ her, which couldn’t be any further from the truth. My problem was this...”

  I paused as the waitress walked up. She slid the drinks onto the table. Although I couldn’t immediately identify the name of her perfume, I had smelled it in the past, and really enjoyed it. As my mind drifted away at the thought of her scent, she spoke.

  “Here you go, two iced vodka doubles, a can of Red Bull, an
d two Ultras. Anything else?”

  I stared at the drinks and inhaled a shallow breath through my nose.

  “Other than being like super big, you don’t look like a biker, I mean not really,” she asked.

  I grabbed the bottom of my cut and tugged on it proudly. “Never thought I was super big, but thanks, I guess.”

  “I uhhm, I was meaning him,” she responded with a laugh.

  “Oh,” I said.

  Otis seemed offended. As he lifted his beer and tilted it her direction, he replied. “I don’t know that bikers look any certain way to be quite honest. I look the way I look and I’m a biker. One has nothing to do with the other.”

  “Oh, I didn’t really mean anything by it, I was just. I don’t know. You know, trying to make conversation. Do you know Avery?” she asked.

  Good recovery.

  “Sure do, she’s a good friend,” Otis said.

  “Well, we’re not close, but I played volleyball with her. I’m a senior this year and she’s a year older than me. I just heard she was like dating one of the guys in your gang,” she responded.

  Volleyball?

  Senior?

  I glanced over my shoulder and gazed at her as she spoke. She was a damned fine specimen of God’s ability to grace us from time to time with the equivalent of a human Grand Canyon or Niagara Falls. She was a natural beauty, and I was quickly becoming tired of her main focus being Otis.

  Otis shook his head. “Club. We’re a club, not a gang. A motorcycle club.”

  “Oh, I thought you were a motorcycle gang. What’s the difference?” she asked.

  “There isn’t one. Gang sounds bad, and club sounds less like we’re criminals, so we like to call it a club,” Otis responded.

  “So you are a gang?” she said.

  I shifted in my seat and raised my finger to my lips. “Shhh. Don’t tell anybody.”

  “Oh, I won’t. You can trust me. I’m Kat,” she said.

  I grinned and looked down at her shorts. Her legs were a fucking mile long.

  “Like a pussy cat?” I asked.

  She giggled. “Kind of, but with a K. Katrina, Kat for short.”

  “I’m Biscuit, that’s Otis,” I said as I shifted my eyes up to her fairly large breasts.

  “Biscuit? Why Biscuit?” she shrugged.

  I shrugged my shoulders to mimic her. “Why not?”

  “Well, it’s nice to meet you guys. I’ll leave you two alone for a while. If you need me, just holler, we’re not real busy. I’ll probably stop by in a few and see if you’re doing alright.”

  She turned and walked away. As she walked, I continued to stare, hoping she’d turn around and see me, but she never did. After a long minute of studying her walk, I turned around and grabbed my vodka.

  “Meee-fucking-yow. Kat, huh? She’s a hot little number,” I said as I lifted my glass.

  “Where were we?” Otis asked.

  “Hold up a minute, I’ve got to clear my mind of evil thoughts. I’m gonna poke that little bitch, mark my words, brother,” I said as I took a drink of the vodka.

  I chased it with Red Bull and shook my head. “I was face fucking my blue eyed girl.”

  “The professor of oral pleasure,” Otis said.

  “She damned sure was,” I said. “Could have given a college course on it for sure.”

  “Okay. So I’ve got my cock down her throat, and she’s staring up at me, knowing if I look into those beautiful blue eyes for more than a few seconds I’m gonna shoot my load. Me? I’m lookin’ up at the ceiling, countin’ them little popcorn dealios they spray on up there. Now she’s suckin’ away, and I’m on about two thousand five hundred and fifty-three, knowing I can’t last much longer. I glance down just for a quick second, and luckily her eyes are closed.” I reached for my vodka and let Otis absorb what I’d said.

  “So, I reach down and grab blue eyes by the ears. Now, I got her ears in my hands, and I start pounding my cock in and out of her throat like I’m gettin’ paid. Hell, I’m watchin’ that fucker disappear in her mouth, amazed by the sheer talent of this girl, and I pull it out and shove it back in. Then, I pull out, and shove it back in balls deep. She don’t gag or whimper or nothin’. Hell, this is turning me on like a motherfucker, so I turn it up a notch.”

  I raised my eyebrows, inviting Otis to imaging what might be next. While he was dreaming of my next move, I stood from my seat, held my hands in front of my hips, and started fucking the air, imagining her head in front of my cock.

  “So I’m shoving my cock balls deep into her throat, pulling it out, and shoving it right back in, and it builds up that throat snot like a motherfucker,” I said as I bucked my hips back and forth.

  Otis wrinkled his nose. “Throat snot?”

  “Yep. What, you never heard of it? It’s that goop down deep in their throats. Hell, you probably ain’t got a cock big enough to find it, but ole Biscuit does.”

  I chuckled as I continued to thrust my hips back and forth. “So anyway, I’m pounding away and things get kind of slippery. So I pull back…and I don’t realize it at that exact minute, but my cock slides all the way out of her mouth. So I go to shove it back in, thinkin’ the tip is still in her mouth, and the head hits her top lip, and the fucker’s all covered in slobber and throat snot, so it shoots up the side of her face and sticks her in the eye.”

  I shoved my hips forward as if I was poking her in the eye with my cock. “Now, initially, I don’t think nothing of it, other than the fact I just poked her in the eye with my cock. So I pull my hips back and prepare to shove her throat full one more time. And she looks up and opened her eyes…”

  I widened my eyes and grinned. Otis sat, shaking his head and grinning. “And she’s starin’ back at me smilin’, ready for the cock, and she’s got one brown eye and one fuckin’ blue one. I got my cock in my hand, starin’ back at her, and I blink my eyes, not sure if what I’m seein’ is what I’m seein’. Nope, she’s still crouched down there, with her mouth open, starin’ back at me with one brown and one fuckin’ blue one – ain’t got a fuckin’ clue of what’s happened. Now this freaks me the fuck out, because the entire reason I like this girl, other’n the fact she can suck a golf ball through a garden hose, is that she’s got them crazy blue eyes. And I glance down, blink one more time, and my eyes focus on my big fat cock. And the tip of my rod’s got a little transparent blue dot on the end of it.”

  “Contacts?” he asked.

  “Yep. That’s when I learned about ‘em. Fucked it right out of her god damned eye,” I said with a laugh as I slipped back into my seat.

  He chuckled. “That’s a hell of a story.”

  I reached for my vodka, took a drink, and nodded my head. “Damndest thing I ever seen.”

  “So what was all that about?” a voice from behind me asked.

  I glanced over my shoulder, “What?”

  She grinned and held her hands in front of her little shorts and began bucking her hips like she was riding a cock. She looked like Beyonce, Britney Spears, and Madonna all rolled up into one very well-tuned dancer.

  “God dayumm,” I howled as I watched her put on her show.

  After a few more well-timed thrusts of her hips, she slapped her hand against her ass and locked eyes with me.

  I’m gonna fuck you ragged, you sexy little bitch.

  “I just thought it was funny when you were doing it. I’m sorry, I’m just bored,” she said.

  “You can come over here and fuck the air any fucking time you want,” I responded.

  “Is that what you were doing, fucking the air?” she asked.

  Her eyes locked on mine and her mouth curled into a cute little smile. I wanted her, and I wanted her bad. Something about her made her seem like a tease to me, but I knew she was far from it. I decided to take a chance, reveal a little about the story, and see what she had to say about a little sexual innuendo.

  “Here? Yeah, I was fucking the air,” I said as I pointed down to the floor.

>   “But in the story I was tellin’, I was fuckin’ a girl’s mouth,” I said as I pointed up toward her face.

  “Sounds fun,” she said.

  It always sounds fun, but it ain’t every woman who can actually take a foot long shoved in and out of their throat. Time, I suppose, would tell. Hopefully, it’d just be a matter of time, and I’d have her just where I wanted her.

  Her eyes still fixed on mine, she tried to turn away. Her gaze stayed stuck as her body twisted around.

  “I probably ought to go clean some tables before I get myself in trouble,” she said.

  I kept my eyes locked on hers as she walked away. After walking halfway across the bar, she grinned and turned away.

  “Damn, Biscuit. Looks like she likes ya,” Otis said.

  “Sooner or later, they all do,” I responded as I reached for my vodka.

  “Probably those damned gauges you have in your ears,” he said as he tossed his head in my direction.

  “Naw. It’s the beard, my charm, and that big cock I’m rockin’,” I said with a laugh.

  I shrugged my shoulders, realizing we hadn’t even spoken about anything significant. “So what’d you want to talk about?”

  “Nothing, I just needed to unwind. I’m good now,” he said.

  “You sure you’re alright, Brother?”

  “Positive,” he said as he lifted his beer bottle.

  “How long you want to stick around?” I asked.

  “Drink this and go?” he said as he raised his bottle of beer.

  I nodded my head and glanced over my shoulder. Kat stood at the corner of the bar staring at me like she was starving and I was the only available next meal.

  “I might stick around until she gets off,” I said as I tilted my head her direction.

  Otis raised one eyebrow. “Trial’s tomorrow.”

  I nodded my head. Sydney’s brother was given a life sentence for admitting he’d kill a rival gang member if they rode into town with a rocker claiming territory. Seemed like a far-fetched case to me, and from what Avery said, he was pretty much forced into saying it on one drunken night in a bar with an undercover ATF agent. We had all agreed to go to the trial together to support him. Trial or no trial, my focus, at least for the time being, was Kat.