Clones vs. Aliens

by M. E. Castle

  The antigravitational beam.

  A moment later Fisher and Alex became weightless. They floated upward gently. The tension in Fisher’s muscles vanished as the Earth released its pull on them. Other than the lack of water, it felt a lot like being in a swimming pool. Alex smiled and swung his arms from side to side, turning himself.

  “Can we get one for our house?” he said, turning a somersault in the weightless beam. Fisher looked out over the ocean as they continued floating higher. He saw the waves getting bigger and more turbulent as the ocean went farther out, whitecaps dotting the deep blue. He even saw the spray of a pod of whales. Everything was dyed the emerald tone of the beam, making Fisher feel like he was watching it on an insanely high-definition screen with a custom color filter turned on.

  The view was cut off by complete darkness as the battleship swallowed them. Moments later, they popped up into some kind of receiving deck. A hatch snapped shut beneath them and the beam’s emitter, a complex arrangement of circuits and lenses in the ceiling, went dark.

  Fisher and Alex settled to the floor. The hexagonal room was mostly bare, a utilitarian construction of black and gray metal. There were shelves and equipment racks on all six walls, although they were currently empty.

  They were in the belly of the beast now. Agent Mason and the others couldn’t pull them from the mission even if they wanted to. The fact that there was no longer any option of turning back helped ease Fisher’s fear. His course was set, and he would follow it—whatever the result.

  He couldn’t tell where the dim light was coming from. There was a deep, rhythmic hum in the air, undoubtedly the ship’s engines. The air tasted like dusty pennies. Fisher wondered whether the pirates, who at least looked like robots, needed to breathe, or whether the atmosphere inside the ship had been calibrated just for them. Of course, even if the pirates were mechanical, it was possible they needed a pressurized environment to work properly.

  A doorway appeared in one wall as a hatch opened silently. Fisher started to say something but bit down on his tongue to stop himself. The Gemini had one brain. Two Gemini drones talking to one another would be like Fisher talking to his hand to get it to pick something up. It would give them away immediately.

  Alex took the lead, rolling his shoulders forward in a show of bravado that was funny, given his blond wig and skirt. Fisher tried to mirror Alex’s posture exactly.

  The hatch led to a long, dark corridor with a trapezoidal shape, the walls sloping inward as they went up, resulting in a ceiling narrower than the floor. As far as Fisher could see, the walls and floor were totally featureless. The ceiling, however, was studded with what looked like plugs and input terminals.

  Two of the lobsters were waiting for them at a corridor intersection. Up close, Fisher could see that they both had greenish hues to their metal-and-plastic exoskeletons, and their stalk eyes swiveled and clicked, looking over Fisher and his clone.

  “This is the first time,” one of them said in a droning voice, “that we have made in-person contact with you. We do not speak your language, nor you ours. It is fortunate we have both learned this human tongue.” Inwardly, Fisher let out a sigh as strong as a gale. He hadn’t even thought about the language issue. “However, as this is our first meeting with two of your drones, we will require proof that you are, indeed, Gemini.”

  Fisher’s relief immediately turned to terror. What could they do to prove they were something they weren’t?

  “We are, of course, aware of your ability to physically transform.” Fisher imagined he saw the lobster frown, and wondered whether it was recalling the massive ball of fiery light that had nearly taken out the mother ship. “Demonstrate this ability, and we will continue our discussion.”

  Fisher’s mind raced through a long list of possible excuses he could give them. Too humid? They needed direct sunlight? They just weren’t feeling very transform-y today? There had to be something in the duffel bag that could help them.…

  Fisher turned to look at Alex. Alex, keeping up the act, mirrored his motion. Fisher winked extremely slightly, and spoke in the most toneless, most Gemini-like voice he could summon.

  “Of course,” he said flatly. “We shall be happy to demonstrate. This planet’s gravity does make the transformation more difficult, of course. We must execute an exact sequence of motion.”

  He gave Alex the tiny wink again, and slowly raised his left arm. Alex mirrored perfectly. He put his right arm behind Alex’s back, Alex again copying him flawlessly, and they walked in a slow circle.

  As they moved, Fisher’s hidden right hand slipped into Alex’s handbag, felt around for a moment, and pulled out one of Alex’s infamous trick tissues. They’d become infamous during an incident in Principal Teed’s office. He brushed it softly against Alex’s arm to let him know what was about to happen.

  Fisher stopped and raised his right arm high, tissue concealed in his fist. Alex’s followed suit. At a wink from Fisher, they plunged their right arms downward, and Fisher released the tissue, filling the corridor with smoke. He yanked Alex and the duffel bag into the corridor on the left side of the intersection.

  The tightness of the space made the smoke linger. As it did, Fisher and Alex were pulling off their wigs, turtlenecks, and skirts as fast as they could. They hastily wiped their makeup off with the cleaning wipes in the bag, stuffed their disguise inside, then slipped on the change of jeans and T-shirts within.

  “Nice work,” Alex whispered in Fisher’s ear. They snuck back into the intersection just as the smoke began to clear. A few seconds later, full visibility returned. Fisher calmly glanced at Alex and realized there was a small lipstick smudge just below his mouth. He held his breath, waiting for the death rays to start blasting. But the pirate robo-lobsters—or whatever they were—actually looked impressed.

  “Very clever,” the same one said. “You take the form of the human diplomats who helped arrange this meeting. That is sufficient. You may remain in this form and we can discuss our conflict.”

  “Indeed,” Fisher said in his drone voice, “let us speak.” He searched for a way to find out what it was the Gemini had taken without revealing that he didn’t know. “We … are uncertain of the significance of the item that you want returned. What can it truly matter to you?”

  “The chip you stole is one of a kind. We lost the ability to replicate them centuries ago,” the pirate replied, a few spindly things around its mouth clicking together. “When your ship intercepted one of our transports, you may have thought the chip only a sample of our technology, a useful item we could easily replace. It is the key to the Mother Machine, the centerpiece of Mechastacean civilization.”

  Mechastacean. Fisher filed away the word in his mind. So the closest English translation of their name did in fact mean “robot lobster.”

  “The Mother Machine is what regulates and debugs our programming, as well as overseeing repairs and maintenance,” the Mechastacean leader said. “If she were to shut down, we would eventually succumb to errors and physical breakdown. It would spell the end of our kind.”

  Fisher found it tough to conceal his emotional reaction to the news. The Gemini had stolen a vital part of the Mechastacean civilization, dooming an entire species in the process. Could they have eaten the chip? It was possible. But since the Gemini could eat almost anything, he couldn’t see them going to the trouble to steal something as valuable as the chip just to devour it. He only knew now, more than ever, that the Gemini had to be stopped. Not just for Earth, but for the whole galaxy.

  “Well,” Alex said. “Perhaps we can come to an agreeable arrangement.”

  “We already have an arrangement,” the leader said. “And I strongly suggest you agree to it. You have one Earth day, starting the moment you leave this ship, to return the chip to us. The control chip is everything to us. Be warned that we have brought far more than this scout frigate, and will do anything to ensure its return.”

  Fisher hoped his eyes hadn’t visibly boggle
d. This vast, ground-shaking behemoth was a scout ship? What would a cruiser look like? Or a battleship?

  “There is a full Mechastacean fleet waiting just outside this solar system. It can be here within hours, and it possesses more than enough firepower to burn the surface of this world to cinders, incinerating all of the organic materials you have come here to feed upon.”

  “Maybe …” Alex began, his voice quivering slightly, “if we were to—”

  “One day,” the Mechastacean interrupted him. “Go.”

  A hatch slammed shut between Fisher and Alex and the pirates. Fisher again suppressed the urge to talk to Alex. They had to maintain their Gemini cover until they were safely away from the ship.

  Still, Fisher and Alex exchanged a glance that communicated everything they needed to say. As spies, they’d been a complete success. The Mechastaceans hadn’t seen through their disguise and they’d learned a great deal of information.

  Unfortunately, the information was that they and everyone they knew, not to mention everyone they didn’t know, had only twenty-four hours to live.

  Have a little perspective: I never tried to eat anyone’s planet.

  —Dr. X, upon release by Syd Mason

  The boat tore across the choppy waves.

  “A computer chip, huh?” Syd Mason said, stroking his chin, after Fisher and Alex had given him and their parents the short version of the story.

  “Apparently, the chip contains the key to the Mechastacean civilization,” Fisher said, blinking as the saltwater spray kicked up in his eyes. “I think the Gemini stole it to use as insurance, to keep the Mechastaceans from coming after them.”

  “And obviously, just the opposite happened,” Alex said. “But it doesn’t matter why. All that matters is getting the chip back from the Gemini and into the hands of its owners.”

  “But how?” Fisher said. “The chip could be anywhere.”

  “True,” Mason said. “But at least we have some new firepower on our side. Dr. X has hacked into the Gemini ship’s computer. It may well be able to tell us where the chip is hidden.”

  Twenty minutes later, Fisher and Alex were staring at the now-familiar shape of the Gemini ship. Next to the Mechastacean frigate, it looked as small as a child’s toy. More lights had come on around its hull, and a thick cable had been attached to it with a large, ugly-looking adapter box.

  “The chip’s not in there,” Dr. X said, his face lit up a creepy faint blue from the screen he was consulting.

  “Are you sure?” said Alex.

  “Positive,” X replied. “The ship’s records are incredibly detailed. Using this handy translator, I can review a log of every single thing that has ever come on board. The chip was logged into the ship’s cargo hold some time ago, but it was removed shortly before the Gemini attempted to land on Earth.”

  “And you’re certain the ship’s computer isn’t fooling you?” Mr. Bas said, crossing his arms. “The Gemini are trying to keep it hidden, after all. You can’t always stop at the surface level.”

  “Mister Bas, my self-replicating AIs have sifted through every picometer of hard drive space on this ship,” Dr. X said.

  “Self-replicating AIs,” Mrs. Bas half snorted. “Unreliable. They could be erasing the data you’re looking for without proper oversight.”

  “You wouldn’t know proper oversight if it brained you with a stale cabbage and locked you in a trunk,” Dr. X said just barely loud enough to be heard.

  “Hey. Hey!” Mason said. “Future of the human species, people. Let’s focus. The point is, the chip is not here.”

  Fisher felt the urge to kick something, but managed to restrain himself. Each piece of equipment down here was probably worth more than a King of Hollywood franchise.

  But the clock was ticking. There had to be a way to get the chip.

  Alex started to pace. Then he paused mid-stride, planted his feet, and stared up at the ship.

  “Wait a minute,” he said. “I keep thinking of the diagram you showed us of the Gemini’s growth patterns. Once they got this ship, they started eating their way across the universe, digesting worlds down to nothing.”

  Fisher’s heart jumped a little as he latched right on to his clone’s train of thought.

  “When there’s no more food, they get back in their ship and move on …” Fisher said.

  “But if they didn’t have their ship,” Alex said, eyes gleaming, “they’d be stuck. Stuck on a barren planet they themselves turned into a desert.”

  Dr. X’s mouth hitched into a slow smile. “They would starve to death.”

  “Yes,” Mr. Bas said. “I …” He swallowed hard. “Agree.”

  “Me too,” said Mrs. Bas like she had a spear at her back. “And, contrary to what recent events might make you believe, spacefaring species are very rare. The odds of another ship that they could hijack coming along are extremely remote.”

  “That is … correct,” admitted Dr. X. He and the Bas parents exchanged a look of what seemed like mutual respect. Extremely reluctant, forced respect, but respect nevertheless.

  The drive to the Bas house was short, fast, and utterly oblivious to all traffic laws. Armored cars plowed ahead, clearing the road for them. Fisher jumped from the car as soon as it had come to a stop.

  Since the parking lot incident, FBI tactical units had been stationed around the Gemini bus, armed and ready for any signs of disturbance.

  “Stand down, stand down,” Agent Mason said, waving an arm and gesturing Fisher and Alex through the crowd. The squad lowered their weapons by centimeters, but they weren’t letting the Gemini out of their sights.

  Fisher and Alex knocked on the door of the Gemini bus. Immediately, it whooshed open, revealing Anna and Bee.

  “Hello,” Anna said, “this is unexpected. I suppose you have come to—”

  “Stop,” Fisher said, holding up a hand. “Enough with the human act. We know who you are, we know how you work, and we know what you’re trying to do.”

  “And we know you have the Mechastacean chip,” said Alex.

  “We don’t know why you stole it and we don’t care,” resumed Fisher. “But we do know you’re not safe from the Mechastaceans—not here, not anywhere, unless you return the chip. Otherwise they’ll wipe you out.” He took a deep breath. “We need the chip, and we need it now. We will return it to the Mechastaceans on your behalf. They’ll leave you alone, and they’ll leave us alone. Otherwise, we’re all goners.”

  Anna and Bee settled into a familiar reddish glow. A faint crackling underscored the visual change. More Gemini appeared behind them, and they began to glow as well.

  “We are not convinced,” Bee said. Both drones had their arms flat to their sides, the features on their faces swirling like Velveeta cheese, no longer trying to look at all human.

  “Maybe this will convince you,” Alex said, undaunted. His next few words would be crucial not just if they wanted the chip, but if they didn’t want to get vaporized right now. “We know how you operate. You fly your stolen ship to a new planet, you grow and grow as you consume whatever that planet holds. As the supplies dwindle, you shrink back down again, until the threat of starvation forces you to move on.” The crackle was louder now, and Alex had to speak up just to be heard over it. “But guess what? We have your ship now. We can destroy it. Even if you take over Earth, when you eventually drain it dry, you’ll have no way to escape. You’ll be trapped on a barren wasteland.”

  He stopped talking. Only the crackle broke the silence, roiling on like a bonfire. Fisher clenched his fists and held them against his legs, forcing himself not to run. He could not back down.

  The crackle got a little quieter. The red light got dimmer. The other drones backed away into the bus. Anna and Bee closed their eyes, and the pulsing light went out. Silence returned.

  “Fine,” Anna said at last. “We will hand over the chip … if you return our vessel.”

  “As soon as the Mechastaceans leave the solar system, it’s yours,
” Fisher said, holding a hand out for Anna to shake.

  Instead, she placed her right hand on her stomach, and pushed. As Fisher gaped, her hand slid into her torso like she’d placed it in Jell-O. When she removed it, it held a piece of metal about the size and shape of a paperback novel. She handed it to Fisher. It had a very thin coating of green goop on it, but Fisher was too shocked to care.

  “I didn’t imagine I’d be saying this,” Fisher said, blowing out a long breath, “but you may have just saved the planet.”

  Progress emerges from chaos. Which is what I told my teachers after I blew the school up.

  —Fisher Bas, Personal Notes

  Wednesday morning, Agent Mason stood just outside of the NASA base, surrounded by other vehicles and dozens of FBI agents in full SWAT gear. Fisher and Alex’s parents were there as well, wearing the same military uniforms as when they’d gone along to the pirate ship.

  To Fisher’s shock and pleasure, both Veronica and Amanda had been allowed to come too—with their parents, who looked less than thrilled to be standing on a government-owned military compound, awaiting the arrival of an alien species. Veronica hugged Fisher like he was an almost-empty toothpaste tube. Amanda greeted Alex much the same way.

  The night before, Fisher had returned to the base with the chip, and Mason had contacted the Mechastaceans immediately. The robot lobster pirates had requested a handoff the following morning. Fisher couldn’t figure out why they’d wanted to wait, but the only thing that mattered was that a handoff would happen before the deadline the Mechastaceans had given them.

  “You ready?” Mason said.

  “We’re ready,” Alex said, holding up the chip.

  Mason took off his mirrored aviators and looked over the shining—if still a bit gloppy and green—piece of alien technology. He nodded after a moment and tapped his earpiece.

  “Make the call,” he said. He looked at Fisher. “My people are contacting the Mechastacean ship right now. Their representatives will be at a predesignated meeting point in a few short minutes.” He gestured to a large SUV. “Hop in, all of you.”